Bottom III

No, no, no! Why?

No matter how hard I try, hiding it is impossible.

Maybe with less chalk and a bit more animal fat. Let's just use tons of makeup until…

The scar is still visible—there's no way to hide it. And of all places, it had to be on my face. Everyone will see it, every single day, for the rest of my life. They might not say anything, but they'll definitely notice.

"There you are, Hoshi." I turn away; he can't see me like this. "Huh? What's wrong, sweetie?"

"N-nothing. I just… something got in my eye and it stings."

"Really now? Let me see."

"No." I curl up on the ground, hiding my face.

"So that's the game, huh?" He grabs me by the waist and lifts me. "Now let's see what—" A crack. "U-ugh…" He crumples to the ground.

"Grandpa! Are you alright?" Even the weight of an eight-year-old is too much for someone his age.

"He, he, now I can see what you were hiding. Ouch!"

"I'm sorry. This is my fault for… for…"

"It's not, sweetie. I'm just too old to play like a kid. Ay, ay, ay." He eases himself onto the ground and leans closer to my face. "So this little mark is what had you so worried?"

"Uh-huh."

"Why? Do you dislike how it looks?"

"No, but others will think things."

"What will they think?"

"They… umm… I don't know, things like I'm ugly or something. What matters is that they will think things."

"Will it bother you even if what they think is good?"

"Uh? But this is a scar. They are bad, right?"

"That depends. For a warrior, they're like medals, you know?" He rolls up his sleeve, revealing several marks much bigger than mine.

"So then… scars will make others see me as a warrior?"

"Don't go cutting yourself—I know you. And anyway, you shouldn't worry so much about what others think."

"Then what about you, Daddy and Mommy? Shouldn't I care about what you think?"

"As long as you're happy, we'll be happy, so you don't need to try so hard to impress us."

"But Daddy says I need to be a great warrior to succeed him one day."

"He says a lot of stuff, rarely what he truly feels. Don't worry about it."

"Hmmm… okay, whatever you say, Grandpa." He sighs.

"You're not getting it. I guess you're too young. Listen, just... if you're going to be a warrior, do it because you want to, not because of Mugen or anyone else. Do what your heart desires, so you can be happy. Alright?"

"Alright."

…

What do I want to do? What will make me happy?

What makes others happy?

Grandpa said "as long as you're happy, we'll be happy."

So that means that as long as they are happy, I will be too, right?

༻──⋆༺𓆩⋆𓆪༻⋆──༺

The dancing of the fire is mesmerizing. The occasional piece of ash flies up, rejoicing in the freedom of an endless night sky.

The smell is so strong it feels like it has its own presence. It must be because he was such a great warrior. Every piece of him carries the weight of a legend.

The sound of a sob breaks the spell the fire had on me. Mommy is crying, and also wailing and blubbering incoherent words. Jogi is hugging her waist, filling it with tears and nose drip.

What about daddy?

Silent and stoic. An image worthy of the strongest.

That's what I have to be, right? So I suppress any other feeling trying to make its way out of me.

Grandpa died like a true warrior. Crying or feeling sad would be the same as insulting him.

༻──⋆༺𓆩⋆𓆪༻⋆──༺

Huh? Hoshina is now looking at this same scene from different eyes. She is no longer the twelve-year-old next to her father. She is now her current self.

She looks at Mugen, as cool as ever. Then at her young self, still proud that she didn't shed a single tear that day. And then, at Bosen.

Now that I think about it, didn't she start drinking and misbehaving after—?

The ground under her feet crumbles, and Hoshina falls through it.

She's now in the middle of the air, struggling not to let go of Kaji. Although there is no point, the fall is eternal, after all.

Or not? What her eyes see contradicts everything she has been taught. They are falling towards something.

It's an island so massive she can't see where it ends, and more importantly, it has both ground and water.

Everything starts slowing down, except her mind, which feels like it's going faster than ever.

The boots don't work.

She needs another gem.

Her box is empty.

The one in Kaji's cane is also broken.

The armor has its own gem.

Taking it out will leave the armor on reserve energy.

So it will still work for a few minutes.

She takes a look below.

They'll fall on water.

They might not make it even if she does everything perfectly.

But she has to try.

She must save Kaji.

Huh? Why do I need to save him?

It doesn't matter.

No time to think.

She just does what she feels the need to.

She doesn't know how long the boots will last at max capacity.

Nor how much they will slow their fall.

She activates them when her instinct tells her to.

With her right arm, she holds Kaji on her back.

The rest of her limbs all extend in front of her towards the water surface that's closer every second.

…

Her legs and arm break into pieces, shattering like glass.

༻──⋆༺𓆩⋆𓆪༻⋆──༺

And now, she is in a different place, staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. An annoying sound is beeping right next to her head, coming from some kind of box.

She reaches her hand towards it, trying to figure a way to make it stop. Was her arm always this skinny?

The thing has some contraptions, similar to the ones from wands. After pressing a few of them at random, she manages to silence the device.

Next, there's a mask on her face. It's pushing air, like it's forcing her to breathe. It doesn't take her long to figure out it is strapped behind her ears.

And after that—

"Hoshina?" Her eyes meet Kaji's.

"So… " a cough. Her throat is dry. So you are alive.

"Listen, there are a lot of things… umm… I… I don't know where to start."

He isn't angry that she almost killed him? He is also acting quite different from how she remembers.

He continues. "First of all, don't panic about your current situation, alright? I know it's hard to believe, but it can be fixed… somewhat." He points at his right arm, which looks very weird. Did he paint it? Or are those pieces of armor?

"What… situation?"

"That's… umm…" What happened to you? Why do you act like this? You are a great warrior, better than I will ever be.

Hoshina tries to sit up to give him some signs, yet her legs and left arm refuse to move.

That's strange.

She lowers her head and looks below the blanket that covers her.

"Hoshina, wait!" After confirming there are missing parts, Hoshina looks back at Kaji, extends her arm, and clears her throat.

"Give them back, please." Kaji doesn't respond. "I promise I won't try to kill you again."

"W-what? Hoshina, what are you talking about? I can't… I can't give you back your limbs. Listen, I have something that's… close enough."

"You can't? Oh, that makes sense. I don't know what got into me. Alright, I understand."

"You do? Are you sure?"

"Yes." She moves aside a strand of hair. "So would you do me a favor and kill me?"