Bottom IV

"What?" Did she just ask me to…?

"Kill me. It shouldn't be too hard, right?"

"I can't do that." Hoshina's attitude puzzles him again—he can't begin to guess what's going through her mind.

"Why did you even save me? Since I can't die a warrior, you could have at least let me go as a savior."

"Stop with the damn warrior's death shit. It's gotten way too old. Listen, there are no gods, no other life, nothing. Dying is the end, so you should be glad you are alive!"

Kaji didn't mean to get so worked up, but after everything he's been through, those stupid ideals make him want to break something.

"I have a right to believe in my god Ikusagami as much as you do in not believing in him, don't you think?"

"That's just—!" A slap lands on his neck, cutting him off.

"Don't go screaming to someone who just woke up." Ge tips his hat to Hoshina, revealing the shining scalp underneath. "A pleasure, miss. Name's Genta, you can call me Ge."

"The pleasure is mine, I'm Hoshina Kanchou."

"I couldn't help but overhear the conversation between you two. I'm sorry to say this, but if there are gods of any kind, they are not the ones carrying your islands."

Hoshina tilts her head. "What makes you believe that?"

"It is not a matter of belief. Let me explain…"

While Ge talks about the ships and the state of the world, Hoshina listens, asks simple questions, and nods, letting him turn her entire view of the world upside down.

At no point does she seem to struggle with any of it.

I can never read this girl.

༻──⋆༺𓆩⋆𓆪༻⋆──༺

This means the only value being a warrior holds is what Hoshina's people assign to it.

So Grandpa wasn't a chosen of the gods—just someone who triumphed by our society's standards.

That's unfortunate, but it also means her inability to kill and become a warrior isn't as disgraceful as she thought.

"However," she continues. "I still maintain my position. Mr. Ge, would you be so kind as to end my life?"

"Mind if I ask why, miss?"

"There's no point in living like this." She signals her whole body.

"Not even with the implants I told you about?"

"Although they may allow me to do some things, they wouldn't change the fact that I'm more of a freak than ever."

"You're not a freak!" Hoshina frowns at Kaji.

"You've changed your view on quite a lot of things, huh? How long have I been unconscious?"

"Three months," Mr. Ge adds.

"I see. Then tell me Kaji, what makes you believe that I, who you called a monster, am not a freak?"

Mr. Ge places a hand on Kaji's shoulder. "Whatever you say, make sure you mean it." Kaji nods and takes a moment to think.

It's a waste of time, but Hoshina listens out of respect for Kaji. Either way, her time holds no value anymore.

"Can I ask you a few things first?" Kaji says.

"You need to ask me questions in order to answer my question?"

"Yes."

"Alright, go on."

"To be honest, I'm not sure anymore. As soon as I hit you with the lightning, I started feeling uncomfortable at the thought of..." Her voice cracks slightly. She clears her throat. "It didn't feel right. All this means is that I'm not fit to be a warrior, so don't think too much about it."

Mr. Ge asks the next question. "May I ask why you want to be a warrior so badly?"

"Because that's the greatest honor one can achieve in my clan, and because my father and my mother's father are two of the greatest warriors ever."

Kaji groans. "Doesn't that mean you're just doing it for the sake of—" Mr. Ge cuts him off with a hand gesture.

"Think your words carefully." He adds. "Anything you say might have a huge impact."

Kaji nods and thinks for a moment before continuing. "Hoshina, do you think I'm a great warrior?"

"Of course you are."

That's the easiest question so far.

"Did you know I hate this war with everything I've got?"

"Huh?"

"I see it as an atrocity that shouldn't exist. I regret the day I had to pick a weapon and kill someone else, and I'm glad that you're still free from that burden."

"Becoming a warrior is not a—"

"Then why were you crying when you were about to kill me during our first meeting?"

"I… um…"

"And I can bet my other arm that you also cried after you landed the thunderbolt on me."

"N-no, that time I only… got a bit worked up."

"And sacrificed half of your body to save me. If that makes you a freak then the whole world is an abomination."

"Stop trying to twist my logic!" She would stomp the ground if she could. "Even if I ended up like this for a good cause, that won't change the way others will see me."

"It did change the way I see you. Does it really matter what people you don't know think of you?"

"Of course you'd say that. The whole world could hate you and you wouldn't mind."

"I would only care if I'm hated by the ones who matter. If your father or grandfather knew of what you did, I know they wouldn't hate you."

"T-they would, cause they would see me as a coward… and a… a… I don't know."

This is getting ridiculous.

"You don't even believe what you're saying anymore. I'm starting to understand you, Hoshina. You are painfully honest, which is something I both envy and admire from you."

"Fine, let's say they wouldn't hate me, let's even say my father would be proud. Why should I keep on living when the ones who matter think I'm dead and I'll never see them again?"

"Because I'm certain they would still want you to live a happy life."

And now she can hear Mugen's words: "Never stop, even if the path is lined with thorns. And if an obstacle stands in your way—tear it down. You're my daughter. You can do anything you set your mind to."

He'd be disappointed if she gave up.

He also wanted her to learn from her mistakes.

Trying to be a warrior—trying to be like him and Grandpa—was a mistake.

So, if she doesn't need to be a warrior, that means…

"I miss Grandpa," she finally says. "I wish he hadn't died a warrior's death, even if he had to live as something else." Her voice cracks again. "Why did it take me so long..." The sobs start to build. "To realize something so simple?"

Her cheeks grow wet. Soon, she's wailing, just like her mother did on that day.

"Why did I think my mother was pathetic for rejecting cold blooded murder and needless conflict?"

Streams flow like they had been waiting for years.

"I'm sorry, Grandpa, and I'm sorry, Mother."

༻──⋆༺𓆩⋆𓆪༻⋆──༺

After sobbing for less than a minute, she wipes her eyes, pushes her hair out of her face, and looks back at Kaji. Her voice is already stable, as if she hadn't just broken down.

"You win, I'm going to live. On one condition."

Coming from her, it's bound to be something unexpected—something that will shake him. He braces himself. Whatever Hoshina says, Kaji is determined to maintain his composure.

"I want you to become my brother."

…

"What!?"