Kazuha's Pain

"I..." Kazuha was struggling while trying to find the right words.

"You...?" I barely whispered.

I was pretty sure that Kazuha was about to say something that would've shock me.

"Fumihiro… to say the truth… I am…" Kazuha's voice then stopped.

It seemed like it didn't want to come out from her throat.

"Kazuha… are you ok-" I tried to say.

She then grabbed my arm and lowered her gaze.

"I am… her." She whispered.

Her hand was trembling.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"No-thing… I'm sorry." She said while releasing me from her grip and looking up at me.

She was forcing a smile and pretending that nothing happened.

I was actually confused by her behavior, not knowing what she wanted to tell me.

"It's okay… thank you for saving my life." I said.

"Y-You're welcome." She replied.

"I guess that you have some questions for me now, right?" Kazuha then cleared her throat and spoke normally. "Yes. Chiko is my brother, if that's what you wanted to ask. And the man inside, was my father."

My tension was gone after seeing her speak in such a normal way.

Kazuha was a very clever and strong girl.

"Oh… I didn't mean to meddle in your life, Kazuha, I was just worried about you." I said, smiling.

Once again, it seemed like Kazuha couldn't believe my words.

In fact, she had a very strange look on her face.

She was blushing slightly.

She remained silent for some seconds before speaking.

"A-a…well… it's okay. I'll tell you some things but we gotta get out of here." She said, while grabbing my arm.

After that, we started walking, with her hand on my arm, guiding me through the alleys.

After 5 minutes we managed to get out and find ourselves in the Main Street of where we were before.

"Follow me , Fumihiro." Kazuha then smiled at me and took my hand.

She started running while pulling me with her.

"W-wai-" I tried to say, but she had too much force so i had no other choice but to run along with her.

"Kazuha!! Where are you taking me??" I asked while running.

"Shut up and follow me!" She said.

We kept running through the streets for 10 minutes straight.

Other people were looking at us with such a strange look in their faces.

I was really embarrassed but my stamina was almost over.

Then, Kazuha stopped and indicated a small playground with some children playing.

She smiled proudly, with no fatigue or anything like that.

I was really exhausted after that run.

I wasn't used to it anymore.

I panted for some seconds before giving Kazuha my full attention.

"Look, Fumihiro!" She said, with a joyful tone.

I then looked at the playground and i felt a strange sense of dejavu.

"What… what is this place? It seems familiar." I asked.

"Well… this is…" Kazuha then stopped herself and cleared her throat.

"This is the place where my father took me lots of times when I was a child." She said, with a glimpse of sadness in her voice.

"Oh… really?" I replied, trying to figure out why this place seemed so familiar.

"Well, yes. There… there also was a special kid whom i used to play with… he was my best friend…" she said while lowering her gaze.

"Oh? What happened then?" I asked.

"Well… the kid… found someone else…" she then clenched her fist.

I felt like someone just squeezed my heart from inside.

I remained silent at her statement.

"Or, to be specific, he got stolen away from me." She added.

"Stolen? How?" For some strange reasons , felt Kazuha's words directly touching my heart.

That's why i couldn't say a normal phrase.

"Well… to be more specific, she stolen my identity… she… she manipulated him into believing that she was me." She said.

Her hands were trembling.

I didn't know what to say to her.

"She… used to insult me. She hated me. She did all of that because she hated my brother."

She then clenched her fists again.

She spoke about her brother with hate in her voice.

"You mean… Chiko?" I asked.

I touched a very sensitive topic for her.

She turned towards me and her eyes met mine.

You could see how much that name brought hate within her.

"Yes, him. The one who ruined our family." She whispered while grinning her teeth.

"He's… a disgrace." She added.

"Why do you hate him so much?" I asked , in a calm tone.

Kazuha was very vulnerable while saying this…

"Why does if feel like i knew this girl since forever?" I asked to my self, noticing how much i felt at ease with Kazuha.

It was a feeling similiar to the one with Evangeline.

"Well… Chiko is basically the reason of why my friend left me. And most of all , he betrayed our family for money, by selling our secrets and… and… beating our father." She said, with a simple tone who was speaking a lot more than millions of words.

Her voice was cold and she had a sad smile across her face.

"I feel sorry for you, Kazuha…" I tried to say.

"I don't need your pity, Fumihiro. I want your understanding, and…" she then looked away.

"And…?" I asked , with a glimpse of sadness in my voice.

I truly felt sorry for Kazuha, but all I could do in that situation was listening to her story.

She opened herself up to me.

"Nothing. Just forget what i said." She then smiled widely, while putting her hands behind her back.

I knew that she forced her smile.

I was conflicted.

"…" I only had a sad expression.

I didn't know if i had to ask more about her or completely ignore her story.

A part of me wanted to know everything about her, another part didn't want to interfere , in respect for her privacy.

All I knew in that moment, was that Kazuha was truly connected to my past , and that she was fighting a lot of battles against her own demons, completely alone.

Suddenly, my body moved on its own towards Kazuha.

I reached her and hugged her.

I could hear Kazuha saying "A…ah..?".

Her eyes widened a lot while my arms were around her.

I didn't even know why I did this.

My body moved on its own without thinking like it was the most natural thing.

The feeling was strange.

I wouldn't have touched anyone in that way, but Kazuha was different.

Maybe i wanted to be a life savior? Maybe i wanted to be a hero? Maybe i wanted to help her ? I didn't know. I wasn't thinking.

I felt Kazuha's tiny body trembling into my arms.

"Fumihiro… w-w-what are you doing…? Stop it… please…" she said with a broken and tiny voice , almost on the verge of tears.

"… i just did this to make you know that I'll be your friend and I'll always be here." I said with a direct tone.

"If… if you do that… I'll get the wrong idea… s-stop it… please." she whispered, with a teary voice.

After her sentence, i could feel her hand touching my back.

After some seconds of holding her in my arms, some strange images returned into my mind.

I remembered the scene when me and Ema met for the first time as children.

I saw her getting bullied by a group of kids.

She was on her knees, crying and begging them to stop.

They were insulting and also hitting her.

I ran towards them with my old dog and i saved her.

That was the first time i saw her…

But something was off.

The girl in front of me was crying a lot.

She kept saying "Ema, Ema…"

That was also her reply when i asked her name.

After helping that little girl, i helped her to stand up and she hugged me a lot.

After that hug, our ways parted and she ran off towards her home after telling her my name.

Ema still had dark hair back then.

"Why did I remember this now?" I asked to myself, not knowing why my subconscious brought this image in my mind.

The thought of Ema, made me snap into reality again.

My eyes widened.

I immediately broke the hug and took a step of distance from her.

But something was strange.

The hug with Kazuha felt… nostalgic.

I did that without any ulterior motives.

It just felt… natural.

Then, i saw Kazuha's expression.

She was blushing and, judging from her eyes, she was trying her best to hold her tears.

We kept staring at each other's eyes for some seconds.

A lot of blurred images came into my mind but… there was Ema's name in them.

I remembered lots of beautiful moments and they flashed into my mind like a train.

Kazuha then smiled lovingly at me.

She then whispered some words.

"Did… you… remember?" She asked.

I was confused.

"What… do you mean?" I asked.

Kazuha's eyes widened again.

"N-Nothing!!! Don't worry!! Haha…!" She mumbled, with a slightly embarrassed tone.

What an awkward situation…

I lightly tilted my head to the right side.

"Huh…?" That's all I could say between my confusion.

"Fumihiro. Thank you." She then smiled.

"Your hug made me feel much better." She added.

She had a blush almost covering all her face.

I smiled back at her.

"You're welcome. I always help friends." I said.

Suddenly , our little moment got interrupted by a ringing sound coming from my pocket.

Kazuha's expression immediately changed from a happy one to an irritated one.

I heard her letting out a little gasp and she lowered her gaze.

I took out my phone and saw who was calling: it was Ema.

"Excuse me for one second , Kazuha." I said, while scratching the back of my head.

"It's okay." She said while smiling at me.

"Hello?" I said.

From the other side of the call, I heard Ema's voice.

She had a very "happy" tone.

"Darling!! I just called to remember you that I'm going to sleep at your place tonight, okay?" Ema said with a cheerful tone.

"O-okay!! I'm at the minimarket to buy some groceries now. I'll wait you at home, okay?" I said.

"Yes, okay!!! See you soon, sweetheart!!" Ema replied before hanging up the call.

It seemed like she was overjoyed to sleep with me.

I then put my phone back in my pocket and looked at Kazuha.

She had her hand on her left arm.

"Sorry , it was Ema… she told me that she's gonna stay over at my home." I said.

"It's okay. Don't worry." Kazuha replied with a sad voice.

"You'll understand by yourself that people won't change, Fumihiro. A mask cannot last forever." She said.

"What do you mean?" I asked with an uncertain tone.

"Trust my words. I won't say anything more or interfere with your relationship." She said while biting her lower lip and tightening the grip around her arm.

"Okay… but I think that she's changing for me. She's behaving better… and i promised to fix the situation with your brother." I said.

"My brother won't ever bother you again, don't worry about this. I already talked to him." Kazuha said with a bitter smile.

"R-Really??!" I replied with a cheerful tone.

Kazuha nodded.

"Yes, he won't bother your or Ema ever again. You have my word." She added.

I was truly grateful to her.

"T-Thank you, Kazuha. If there's something i can do in return, just tell me." I said with a very grateful tone.

Kazuha squeezed her left arm harder, but i was feeling too full of myself that I didn't notice her behaviour.

She needed help. She wanted help.

It seemed like she wanted to be recognised.

"I wish you the best." She said, with a tear falling off her face.

"She's… crying…?" I thought, feeling a little bit sad.

"Kazuha? Why are you…?" I tried to say, but she stopped me.

"I'm not, trust me." She said, before wiping her little tears.

"I think that you're gonna be busy now, right? I'll see you around. Have fun tonight." She said while faking a smile.

I didn't want to ask any further question.

This would've only hurt her even more.

"Okay, Kazuha… but before you go, can I give you my contact." I said.

She was surprised and her eyes widened.

"Yes, why not." She replied.

We then exchanged numbers and , with a sad voice and a wide smile , she said "See you around, Fumi!" Before walking away from me.

"What the hell should i do with my life…?" I said, feeling guilty after seeing her cry.

I didn't do anything, but i felt a bitter feeling of guilt deep down into my heart.

"What is… this feeling?" I suddenly felt like i was forgetting something very important.

"I don't know…" I thought.

My heart started to softly hurt , just like you do the wrong thing and you know it.

As Kazuha's figure became more and more smaller, i kept thinking about any possible reason of why i was thinking like this, until I decided to walk back to my home.

When i started walking, my phone rang.

I took it out and saw a message from my mother.

"Fumihiro, can you come home? Ema has arrived and she's behaving very strangely… I'm truly worried." She wrote.

My eyes widened in negative surprise.

"Oh my god… i must return home." I said to myself with a worried tone.

Then, i started walking rapidly towards my home.