Oui! Oui!

I circled around to KaiKool's back entrance, leaving the others to brave that mob out front.

"I'll catch you guys inside."

"Break a leg, Ryū-chan!" Kurumi waved.

The employee locker room smelled like stale sweat and cheap air freshener. I pulled out my spare costume - identical brown kaiju costume, complete with derpy eyes and foam spikes. Little Shit's head tilted in confusion as I started changing.

I checked my phone. 2:55. Where was Yukina? She was supposed to be here five minutes ago. With that crowd outside, I'd need backup.

The call connected on the third ring. "Ryūka! I'm so sorry-"

"Please tell me you're on your way."

"I can't come in today! Dad's takoyaki stand is getting swarmed by these tiny flying kaiju? They're eating all his inventory!"

Just then, the manager burst through the door, red-faced and dripping sweat. "Tatsuhara! Where's your friend?"

"Kaiju ate her dad's inventory."

"What? Never mind - get out there! The line's wrapped around the block twice!"

"But-"

"Just do your best without her!" She stormed out, muttering about social media and understaffing.

I stared at my reflection in the locker mirror - one overworked high school student in a stupid costume about to face an army of rabid customers. Little Shit gave me his best attempt at a supportive smile.

I was so fucked.

***

The buzzing crowd outside filtered through the café walls. What was wrong with these people? The world was literally ending and here they were, lining up to see some kaiju who couldn't even focus both eyes in the same direction.

I took a deep breath, practicing my customer service smile. My cheeks already ached just thinking about maintaining it for the next six hours.

The dining room's fluorescent lights hit me like a spotlight as I pushed through the door. "Welcome to KaiKool!"

The first customer practically vibrated with excitement - tall, blond, and speaking rapid-fire… French? He gestured wildly at Little Shit, the only word I caught being petit - a word I vaguely remembered Gran Gran using whenever she scolded my nephew.

My question is, some guy flew all the way from France (supposedly) to see him? With all the kaiju-related restrictions, plane tickets should be ultra rare these days. What kind of disposable income did he have to bribe the airports?

Little Shit chirped curiously at the foreign words, tilting his head. The French guy's eyes lit up like he'd just witnessed a miracle.

"Table for one?" I held up a finger, hoping he understood numbers.

The French guy nodded enthusiastically at my gesture and followed me to an empty table. His eyes never left Little Shit, who was now trying to eat the menu. I snatched it away before he could leave teeth marks.

"Our special today is-" I stopped myself. What was the point? Instead, I pointed at the menu's pictures. The guy's finger landed on the Kaiju Burger Combo.

"Oui! Oui!"

At least that was clear enough. I scribbled down his order and rushed to the next table.

The rest of the late afternoon blurred into an endless stream of phones pointed at Little Shit. Every other customer asked for my social media handle.

"Oh, uh, @LittlePoopOfficial..." I mumbled each time, face burning. Kurumi's brilliant naming choice was going to haunt me forever.

The next group tested my customer service smile. A cluster of kids, probably around eight or nine, bounced around a tired-looking father who was trying his best to wrangle them.

"But I wanna sit next to the kaiju!"

"No, I called dibs first!"

Kids. The only thing worse than overeager Little Shit fans were overeager tiny Little Shit fans with zero volume control.

The father caught my gaze, offering an apologetic smile. "So so sorry! My son Kenji insisted on having his last birthday here before, you know..." He trailed off.

Right. The world ending thing. I kept forgetting about that with all the daily nonsense going on.

Little Shit, of course, was loving the attention. His tail wagged like some kind of mascot as he bounded over to the kids, basking in their adoration.

"NYA-HELLO~!"

Oh no.

Kurumi burst through the entrance, dragging both Toukawa-san and Sae behind her. 

"Do the jingle! Do the jingle!"

"I really don't."

"It’s part of the restaurant rules, right?" Toukawa-san said, trying not to smile.

Even Sae nodded solemnly. "Protocol should be followed."

Traitors, all of them. I took a deep breath and launched into the stupid dance, complete with jazz hands. "Welcome to KaiKool where kaiju rule! Our food's so good it makes kaiju drool!"

Little Shit copied my movements perfectly, tiny arms waving in perfect sync.

The kids cheered. Kurumi squealed. Toukawa-san actually cracked a smile. Even Sae's shoulders shook with silent laughter.

UGH.

I led my so-called friends to a corner booth. Little Shit bounced along beside me, completely oblivious to my suffering.

"I'll have the Atomic Breath Blue Raspberry Slushie," Kurumi announced with a grin. "Extra sparkly."

"Kurumi, please pick something that's actually on the menu."

Toukawa-san studied the menu with far too much interest. "The Kaiju Tail Tempura looks intriguing. Is it any good?"

"It's just regular tempura." I sighed.

"Then I'll have the Mothra Wings," Sae said with a completely straight face.

"Those are just bland chicken wings with extra hot sauce-" I stopped myself. "Actually, nevermind."

I turned to check on the Foreign guy just as he spoke again, his words bubbling with excitement as he gestured at Little Shit.

Toukawa-san's head popped up from behind the restaurant booth, lured in by the French. She slid out of her seat and approached him, speaking perfect French. Because of course she did. She probably spoke fifteen languages and could recite pi to a thousand digits too.

The guy's face lit up like he'd found a long-lost friend. They chatted rapidly while I stood there awkwardly holding my order pad. Finally, Toukawa-san turned to me.

"He'd like to add a S'morezilla. And... there's something else."

I shifted my weight, pen hovering over the notepad. Not another complicated custom order.

She leaned in closer, lowering her voice. "He says he dropped everything in France - quit his job, gave up his apartment, even left his cat with a friend - just to catch the last flight to Japan before the travel restrictions kicked in. Coming here has always been his dream.”

My hand froze mid-scribble. I glanced at the French guy, who was now teaching Little Shit to say "bonjour." This man abandoned his entire life just to end up... here?

But when I saw him laugh at Little Shit’s mangled attempt, which came out more like "bwah-juh," I got it. Kind of. Sometimes the dumbest dreams are the ones worth chasing, even if the world's falling apart. Or maybe especially then.

"Tell him... the s'more is on the house."

Toukawa-san raised an eyebrow. "You sure? Your manager-"

"I'll cover it. Oh, and tell him I have a surprise for him."

When Toukawa-san translated, the guy's eyes welled up. He grabbed my hand, babbling what I assumed were thanks in French.

I felt my own eyes getting suspiciously warm. Damn s'more was going to cost me a meal or two, but his pure joy made it worth every yen.

I gave Little Shit a nod, signaling him to follow me toward the kitchen, and he scampered after me.

"Okay, remember how we made those pizzas?" I positioned Little Shit by the grill. "Just like that, but smaller. Much, much smaller."

Little Shit squeaked eagerly, summoning tiny volcanic vents around the marshmallows. They softened and browned perfectly, getting that toasted, gooey goodness. While he worked his magic, I assembled the rest - graham crackers, chocolate bars, and the perfectly toasted marshmallows ready to melt into sweet, sticky perfection.

The final touch was Little Shit warming up the center, letting the melted chocolate ooze out like lava.

When I brought out his order, the French guy's jaw dropped. He rapid-fired more words at Toukawa-san, who just smiled and shook her head.

"He says-" Toukawa-san started, but stopped herself with a small smile. "Actually, I don't think you need a translation."

She was right. His expression said enough. He was content, like he'd found exactly what he was looking for even if no one else could understand it.