Chocolate Chip Pancakes

As much as Yani wished to, she resisted the urge to make a rope out of her blankets and escape in the night. She had nowhere to go that she could stay, and it would only hurt the chances of her plan succeeding. Still, that didn’t make the idea of running to the shrine and locking herself in the back office until the outside world forgot about her any less tempting.

Now it was morning, and her father hadn’t yet come barging into her room to correct her actions. That was what worried her most. Silence from him was far scarier than the noise he could muster up when she brought shame to the family’s reputation. She had done that plenty of times in the past, and she was prepared to cower and grovel as usual. This, though, she didn’t know what to do with.

She holed up in her room for as long as she could, but time marched forward regardless of fear. She had to move with it, or risk being left behind. She hoped to avoid her father, who was almost always away for work. Even on the days he was home, it was more likely than not that he would be hooked into some meeting, virtual reality goggles over his head as he explained a new business plan to other angry men who forgot their children were humans, not property.

There was only one coworker of her father’s that had shown Yani kindness before, and she was counting on him to help this plan succeed. Tsuruga was around the same age as Blain, and they both enjoyed train photography. It was listed first on the hobbies page in the folder Yani had now declared her secret weapon. It had to be fate. More than that, she was certain that they must already be friends. Two men in the same industry sharing such a niche hobby would have found each other by now. It was just one more angle with which to target Blain.

As horrible as she felt, today was lucky in one aspect. She confirmed with a housekeeper passing by her room that her father wasn’t home. At least for now, she was safe from having to confront whatever she was going to face from him.

Yani took a breath before emerging into the kitchen. They didn’t have a live-in chef, much to her parents’ shame, but Yani didn’t mind. She enjoyed the meditative work of cooking for many of the same reasons she enjoyed being a Godsinger. It felt good to create some tangible difference in the world, whether that be a person’s feelings, or just a chocolate chip pancake. In this digital world, where people like her father muttered over the flow of data and currency all day, it was worth so much to touch something.

The smell of the pancakes summoned Naira. She stepped into the kitchen like nothing had happened, and Yani felt a wave of anger. Here was her sister, the only one in her family she trusted, and she hadn’t taken the time last night to realize how betrayed she felt by her. Naira had known what was waiting for her, and still welcomed her in. And perhaps the worst of all, when Yani had been wavering, hoping she could find some way to run, to make this all go away, Naira had pushed her forward.

“Why didn’t you warn me?” Yani spoke, not yet making eye contact. Her voice was as soft as she could make it. These were words for her sister alone to hear.

No one else had grown up exactly like them. They were supposed to be the ones who understood each other, always. The united front against their parents when they truly had to be. Her parents had always listened better to Naira, and Naira had always used that to stand up for Yani when she needed to. So why now? Why not for this, the worst thing that had ever happened to her? Why had Naira simply allowed it to happen?

“They didn’t tell me until yesterday, Yaya, I swear. And- I didn’t want you to get in trouble, but there was just no time. I didn’t know if you’d do something bad if I did, and-” Naira sniffed, and Yani finally spared a glance to the side. There were tears pricking at the corners of Naira’s eyes, but she was clearly trying her hardest to blink them back. She was trying to be brave for Yani’s sake. Yani’s heart softened to her. She hadn’t betrayed Yani on purpose, she just didn’t know what else to do.

“-You just have to go along with them, I guess. They’re our parents. It’s not like there’s anything we can do. And maybe it’ll be good for the family, right?” Naira finished her thought, and Yani’s heart dropped. The clouds that had started to part over Naira in her mind gathered again, and lightning sparked.

“You’re not going to help me fight them at all?” Yani snapped. “I’m sorry that I’m not perfect like you, but I can’t just sit by while they sign my life away! You have no idea what this feels like, and you probably never will. I’m just the cow you’re selling off so the rest of you can feast!”

Naira scrambled. “No, I didn’t mean it like that! Just- if we can’t stop them, it’s better to look on the bright side, right? NAME didn’t seem that bad, I think…”

“Oh, and you would know. Golden little Naira can’t do any wrong, while we can’t wait to lock Yani up with all the other tarnished silver we hide in the back of the closet. My whole life is about being a Godsinger, and if they make me get married, they take that away from me. If you let this happen, you’re making it so I have nothing left to live for. You know what that means, right?”

“That’s not true! What about- what about me?” Naira’s tears bubbled over.

“All you think about is you, huh? You don’t even see how you’re letting them kill me.” Yani pushed away from the counter. The stack of pancakes was still untouched, fresh and sweet. “You can have these, since I guess that’s all I’m good for.”

“You know I don’t think that!” Naira raised her voice. “You never listen to me, and-”

Yani didn’t listen, pushing past her. As she walked away, Naira shouted at her back.

“I hate you, Yani!”

Yani took off running. She barely stopped to grab her bag before she slammed the door behind her.

Standing on the sidewalk, she realized she once again had nowhere to go. June would let her in, of course, but she wasn’t expecting her, and Yani didn’t want to trouble her like that. She didn’t have any other friends close enough to even know their addresses.

She wasn’t scheduled at the shrine today. But it was the only place she wanted to go. There was a hurricane in her head, and Imon was the god of weather. She was the only one Yani was sure could make it clear.