See Yourself Out

It was a surreal feeling too, for Yani, riding the train with a fashionable high school girl. She had spent the first half of their trip fixing her makeup, insisting that she had to look perfect before she confronted Trip(Yani had finally dragged their name out of her on the walk to the train, after her crying had slowed.)

Honestly, her behavior was just like Naira’s. Except Naira wouldn’t want to apologize. That, Yani felt sure of.

Yani hadn’t thought beyond wanting an excuse not to go home when she told Terra that she’d come help. She didn’t think this would be that difficult to resolve, though. Terra was in the wrong and she knew it, so she would apologize with a neutral party present, and the two would make up.

Then again, she couldn’t rule out Trip not forgiving her, no matter how much she repented. Attempting to peek into someone’s memories was a violation of the highest order. Even the gods couldn’t see more than surface level thoughts unless you actively showed them. Yani almost wondered how Terra had been smart enough to manage it herself. She didn’t seem the most- what was a word Imon wouldn’t admonish her for using- STEM-smart.

Fifteen minutes into a train ride that swung between Terra’s attempts to start conversations about pop singers Yani didn’t know and painfully awkward silence, Yani was bored enough to ask, even if it made her start crying again.

“So you managed to actually look at Trip’s memories?” Yani said.

“Ergh… Just a little.” Terra replied. “I couldn’t get to the specific test I wanted to see before the stuff they set up detected me and booted me.”

“What do you mean ‘stuff they set up’?”

“Well, our mom works for the GOVERNMENT, so she has access to really good shielding tech and things like that. They just, like, adjusted it a little to suit their needs.”

“That’s some high level stuff. How do they know how to do that?”

“Oh, I didn’t mention? We both go to HIGHSCHOOLNAME. It’s a really big tech one, if you don’t know it. Terra pressed her thumb to her lip. It seemed like a nervous tic. “Well, I guess went there for Trip, but y’know. Same diff.”

And there was Yani’s explanation. The girl with a head full of cotton was actually some kind of genius hacker. Typical. She would apologize, but Terra never knew what she thought in the first place. And besides, Yani still wasn’t in a very apologetic mood.

Resolving to feel only slightly ashamed, she tried to review the conflict resolution techniques she had learned during her Godsinger education. Helping to resolve a disagreement was a fairly standard task for Imon, but the disagreeing parties usually came to the shrine, and would follow a specific set of instructions. What Yani was doing now would be considered highly unusual, and bordering on inappropriate. It certainly wouldn’t be tolerated by Dram- god of the flow of currency, and her father’s favorite. She was lucky that Imon tended to be very lax as long as things turned out in the end. Yani resolved to make them so.

“So, what are you studying, exactly?” Yani asked.

“I’m SO glad you asked! Neuroscience!”

*

“This is my place!” Terra grinned. Yani observed her home with surprise. She had expected the home of someone working in GOVERNMENT to be grander. Additionally, Terra seemed like the type of girl who came from money. Her fashion was on the level of someone like Naira, who wasn’t afraid to spend her parents’ money on whatever the latest styles were.

Terra led Yani in. “Shoes off, please! There’s slippers by the door if you want them.”

“Oh, right.” She slipped on a pair of blue slippers to match the pink ones Terra donned. “And you’re sure Trip is here, right?”

“They’re def home! They don’t really leave on weekdays.”

“And you’re ready to talk to them?”

Terra’s lip wavered. “Yeah. I just want them to talk to me.”

“I understand. And I assure you, I’ve been thoroughly trained in negotiation and conflict resolution techniques. I’ll have the two of you sit down together, and we’ll get this sorted out in no time.”

“Right! Hey, do you wanna see my room?”

“I think it would probably be better if we do what we came for first.”

“Right.” Terra sighed, resigned. She walked down the hall, past a door decorated with magazine cutouts and printed photos of Terra and her friends, and stopped at one devoid of decoration. “This is them.”

When Terra hesitated, Yani knocked. “Trip? I’m a Godsinger of Imon. Terra asked me to come help resolve your disagreement.”

She heard a colorful curse from within the room, and saw Terra flinch. She could hear they got up from a chair, though, which seemed like a good sign.

Trip opened the door. Looking between the pair, there was no family resemblance Yani could see. Trip wasn't too much taller than Yani, but they had a good few inches on Terra. Their hair was straight and a sort of blondeish brown, sort of cut in a grown out mullet, and even though Terra had highlights the same color, hers were clearly dyed. They were cloaked in a gray tank top and an unzipped brown sweater over it. And most importantly, their face was the picture of righteous fury.

Internally, Yani repeated that colorful curse.

Trip stared down at her derisively. She realized after a moment, though, that they were staring right through her to Terra, who was cowering behind her. Yani stepped to the side, and she saw Terra consider moving to remain behind her. She must have decided against it though, because she stood her ground, no matter how much she looked like she was about to burst into tears.

“May we sit down together? Perhaps in a more neutral space?” Yani tried to keep her voice as level as possible. This was a situation that called for full Godsinger mode. Authoritative but knowledgeable, firm but kind.

It paid off, and Trip begrudgingly spoke. “Fine. We can sit in the living room, and talk aaaalllllllllll about our problems.”

“Excellent.” Yani ignored their tone. “So, trip, I heard you also went to SCHOOL. Are you in secondary education, and if so, what are you studying?”

“I'm not doing college. Just don't need it. But I'm studying. I make robots.”

Yani seated herself at the head of the low table in the living room. She tried to guide Trip and Terra to sit next to each other, but Trip sat on the couch, and Terra chose to sit herself on the floor across from them. The height difference that created was nearly comical, with Trip staring straight over her head into the opposite wall.

“So, you both know why we’re here. I want to find an ending to this conversation that makes you both feel heard, and resolves the concerns you have in your relationship. To start, Terra, can you tell Trip in your own words why you’re upset?”

“Trip, I-” Terra picked at the chipping paint on her nails. “I already apologized a bunch about what I did. I didn’t think, and I didn’t mean it, and I’m sorry. Can you please forgive me so we can go back to normal?”

“No.” Trip said.

Yani winced at the puppy-dog eyes Terra immediately made, but continued on. “And Trip, what makes you feel that way? What actions could we take here today to resolve this?”

“There aren’t any.” Trip started to stand up.

“Come on!” Terra was crying. Again. “I thought if I brought somebody, you’d listen to me. Please!”

“Nope.” They were like a gray rock. Yani stood up too, an attempt to keep Trip feeling like they were emotional equals.

Trip noticed, and rolled their eyes. “You can leave now. I don’t know what she told you, but she’s not getting away with this that easy.”

Yani couldn’t help her rising anger. Sure, she thought Terra was in the wrong, but at least Terra admitted that. She was repenting, and Trip didn’t care. Did they know how good they had it? To have a sister that was sorry for what she had done?

“Why don’t we sit and talk this out a little more?” Yani asked, moving to block Trip’s path.

“Nope.” Trip put a hand on her shoulder to push past her, and Yani bristled.

“Guys, I’m sorry.” Terra stood up, still teary-eyed. “I wanna apologize again, Trip. I didn’t mean any of what happened, I swear.”

“Nah.”

“She’s trying to apologize! Why won’t you accept it?” Yani came close to shouting at Trip, and it triggered something.

She saw them wince, and Trip turned on her, suddenly articulate. “You want to defend her now, but if someone did the worst thing to you that you can imagine, would you forgive them?”

“But she’s your sister!”

“Not by blood. And if she doesn’t think that matters, why should I?”

Yani looked between Terra and Trip, confused. Trip noticed.

“Oh, she didn’t mention that, did she? Perfect, popular little Terra threw it right back in my face that I should be ‘grateful her parents took me in’. Isn’t that cruel? How can you ever look at her the same?” Trip’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, but they were hurt. Deeply, genuinely so. Yani couldn’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t be.

Yani and Terra were both suddenly quiet. Terra wouldn’t meet her eyes anymore. Yani thought of her own sister, just this morning. She didn’t feel like they were sisters right now either. If she couldn’t make herself forgive Naira, how could she try to insist that what Trip was feeling was wrong? The truth was that she had no right to do so.

“I see.” Yani spoke quietly. “I apologize for disturbing your household. I can see myself out.”

Terra’s small protest fell on deaf ears as Yani shed those matching slippers, returned to the station, and began a lonely, quiet train ride home.