Revolving Door

Eri Tsukumo was passing in and out, as she always did. The door to her room was just a door from one place of necessity to another.

"Hm?"

On one of these routine journeys, she found something on the road. It was a baby bird, fallen from a nest, its innocent eyes glistening with the fresh dew of life.

But Eri passed it by. There was nothing to be gained from saving a baby bird. It had been abandoned and was of no use to anyone. She knew all too well that it would be better to leave it behind, to leave it to its fate. There was no future for it now, she told herself.

And so, she re-entered the door again, returning to her own existence.

---

"You'll be staying here from now on. Your room is Room 4 on the second floor."

Minamoto gestured to the building that she and I had walked some distance to arrive at. The island was small, but I was painfully aware of the lack of public transport.

The building was a modern-ish, Japanese-style dorm house, complete with sliding doors and tatami-matted rooms. It wasn't particularly tall either, only three storeys, with a slanted slate roof that hung over the edge of the walls. It seemed to me like it had been repurposed for our use, rather than being custom-built as dorms for Anahata members. It had a sort of nostalgic air to it, in that respect, as if you could smell the fact that people had lived here before us. 

Not that the actual smell was bad. I hadn't had the chance to discover that yet.

I wasn't carrying many personal belongings with me. The person I was now was only born recently, they didn't have much to their name. All I had was my uniform, toiletries, a supply of food and some books, all of which were provided to me. The only item that I had in my possession that had any connection to the Beryl McNeal they once belonged to was the clothing I wore on the day I was attacked: my t-shirt and my skirt, both of which were folded into a pile.

I'd touched the skirt again when it was returned to me, to make sure the butterflies on it really were just a pattern design. They were. But that didn't put me at ease. It only made me wonder more about where the ones I'd seen that day had really come from.

"Come to the headquarters if you need anything else. When it comes to tending for yourself, though, you're on your own. Welcome to Port Tatsumi, Beryl. You'll have to get used to it sooner or later."

Watching Minamoto fade into the distance, I couldn't bring myself to go inside. Instead, I set my things down by the step and fidgeted with my clothing. I'd changed into my new uniform not long after... whatever unexpected nightmare scenario I'd witnessed earlier today. Even thinking back to it made the inside of my mind look like the scene from a movie, none of it felt real. A violent beast whose size dominated every human in sight, yet slain in a matter of minutes...

But I didn't have the right to decide what was real anymore, this was my life now. And my trousers were pinching my butt.

The shirt was pretty comfortable. Thankfully not made from any scratchy material, it was soft but unfamiliar, like someone had draped a coffee table with a fancy cloth. I'd unfastened the top button; the sensation of the cloth against my neck was suffocating me subconsciously because I wasn't used to wearing anything that reached so high. 

As before, my trousers were the long, polyester kind commonly worn in offices, the ones I'd seen on the passing occasions I'd been into an office to fail terribly at an interview. I'd always associated these trousers with people that could perfectly meld themselves with the world around them, those that could work without a fuss, earn a paycheck and come home. In short, I was the least likely person to be wearing them. And they agreed too, they really didn't want to be on me. They were itchy, a little tight around the hips, and rubbed against my knees when I sat down.

I lingered on the step outside for a while, twitching my body until I finally forced myself to deal with it. Just outside our dorm, to the left of where I was sat, was a short, sheltered attachment, a passageway of sorts with a tiled path next to a vending machine. I wanted a drink, but it was getting late, and patting my pocket, I realised I didn't have any money either. I let my vision wander across the courtyard instead to pass the time.

"Hm?"

There was something lying not far from the door of the building. Its body was limp and lifeless, its tongue lolling out. It wasn't there a moment ago, so my first thought was that it had walked there and lied down, but it didn't look well.

Should I go and check on it?

Just as I was about to stand up, the moving form of someone I had only seen in silhouette reached the body first. I could hear her faintly from a distance.

"No... it's not worth it. It's already dead."

Lifting her heavy head, she looked in my direction, but through me rather than at me. As she entered the building, I collected my things again, and I realised, with nothing better to do, I should go to my room. I was convinced, after seeing someone else do it, that it really was possible to go inside the dorm.

---

On the way through the corridor to my room, which was on the right-hand side of the hall, I spotted the girl from outside, the very same one that had dealt the final blow to the Leviathan, who had passed me on the way in. I thought back to the time after the attack, when everyone was assessing the casualties.

The girl was sitting on one of the beds and being attended to by Anya. Her legs were drawn up toward her chest, and despite blood speckled across her cheeks and drooling from her fingers, she sat there, clenched serenely with an undirected impatience. 

"You can fix it, right?" she mumbled.

"Well... I can, but I'd recommend not overexerting them this much..."

"I didn't ask for them. If they exist to help me do better at my job and they're not up to par, then how am I to blame."

"The pressure and tension limits you require are at the absolute limit of what is technologically achievable..."

"But they're achievable."

"Well, yes, but-"

"So do it. I don't care how many times they break."

"...Right."

Anya's tendrils extended toward the girl, and I nudged the doorway in an attempt to retreat, but Anya took notice of me, perhaps in an attempt to escape her own conversation.

"Oh, Beryl, did you come by for a physical? I imagine you're a little worn out after using your RepliCor like that."

"Oh, uh, no, I was... just going."

On my way out, I caught a closer glance at the girl, and what the two were discussing became clear. In defense, she drew her arms further around her legs, which glimmered in the low evening light, a distinctly metallic shimmer.

That shimmer was all but muted as she walked past me in the hallway now, hidden under her uniform trousers. She was accompanied by a man dressed in a trench coat, fedora and long, red, velvet scarf, standing in the hallway beside her. 'Beside' felt wrong to say, he was quite a bit taller than she was. He spoke to her in an odd yet friendly tone. Too anxious to pass them or interrupt their conversation, I became an unintentional eavesdropper. 

"So how much did we earn from today's contract?" he asked as if he were curious about the day's weather or the results of the horse race.

"The short answer is not enough. Not like we can complain, though. We just take what we're given and go where we're told."

"Hey, at least you're one of the most popular choices for mainland contract work, so even if we're paid pennies, we'll be paid more pennies than some of the others."

"If you can call that a bright side."

"You were a sight to behold during the contract work but... that especially was quite the display today, Jou-chan"

"I was late and Minamoto sent a summon, so just did what I could. It's not a big deal."

"Haha, there's that attitude again. It sure looked like you were enjoying yourself. Couldn't wait to contribute, is that it?"

She glanced toward the ground.

"Shut it, Sada."

"You're the boss, Jou-chan. I just like seein' you happy. And I only get to see you like that when you're beating the hell out of Leviathans. Or people."

"Like you really care about anyone but yourself."

"That's harsh. But I can always trust you to see right through me. It's only natural, given how alike we are. And that's one of your best qualities."

"Enough, we're here. I'll meet you tomorrow for the briefing."

"Right, sleep well then. I bet you'll rest like a baby. Meanwhile, I'll be looking forward to tomorrow's entertainment."

He started to walk off, but stopped and pinched the brim of his hat.

"Try not to keep me waiting next time, too. Can't exactly look after you if you go off getting distracted by every little thing. What was it this time, eh?"

"...was nothing. Just a dead cat."

She slipped into her room, but I didn't see the door close fully. Waiting for the man in the fedora to pass back downstairs, I snuck into my room.

Sliding the door open revealed that the room was compact, bijou in a 'this was all new to me' kind of sense. But it wasn't an elegant feeling. Distress slithered over my skin. Before I had time to fully absorb the futon laying in the centre of the floor, the desk and the drawers with the CRT television sitting on top, or the paper lantern hanging from the ceiling, I tossed my things into the room and retreated outside.

It was too early. It was too much. I needed some air.

I recalled there was a garden near the courtyard and decided to go for a walk to clear my head.

---

The setting sun provided a satisfying evening tint to the foliage as I wandered into the garden, which mostly consisted of semi-maintained hedges, alongside the occasional row of flowers. The lack of care extended to their buds, as they struggled to push through and blossom despite the fact that spring had already started.

Along the path past the hedges, in a circular area of the garden beside a pond, I saw someone casting various shadows in the glow of the bollard lamps. These shadows took on various poses, and in their hands, I spotted a silhouette of what looked like a sword. Wandering as quietly as I could, I edged around the corner to catch a glimpse of whether the shadow had an origin.

A figure appeared through the night. She almost blended with it perfectly thanks to her black shirt, her torso was only visible through the white buttons along its front, a colour shared by her long, loose leggings. She would strike a pose, hold it for a few seconds, perfectly still, then shift into another. The transition between each was like a flow, unbroken and precise, at one with her umbral blade.

"Taurus!"

A ring of yellow light erupted from her waist after she entered a certain stance, and the same light emblazoned her sword, leaving an ethereal aura hanging in the air around it.

She began a chant while holding the sword in front of her, clearing her throat and closing her eyes to focus herself.

"The stars in the sky are but solitary. However, through their arbitrary lines, humans imparted unto them meaning and connection. It is by this tenet that I access the power of these grand associations. For the bonds between people and the stars are equally arbitrary... but equally strong and eternal!

Pulse of the Glittering Sky:

Constellation!"

Her hair was sleek and sheer yet voluminous and exuded the muted tones of the night sky: a deep, dark blue. Most of it was tied back into a high ponytail, and her right eye was obscured by a long, curved scoop of it that reached her chin. A drooping ahoge sprouted from the top of her head and crescented an impressive distance in front of her.

It wasn't normal for me to be so transfixed by someone's hair, given my relationship with mine, but I found myself drawn in by its supernatural allure. I wanted to hit myself for acting no different than how I imagined people reacted when they saw my hair.

My curious stare must have burned a hole into her back, because the woman spoke up.

"You know, I come here to practise alone."

Swivelling to greet me, she was taken aback, recoiling as her sword leapt from her hands, ringing against the ground. Her stoic expression was shattered, and I could see her scrambling to pick up the pieces. But what lied underneath was soft and welcoming, even in the dimness.

"Oh! Oh. Hello. Hey. Hey is better, I think.

I wasn't... expecting someone new. Well, that's a lie. I'd heard about it. I just... forgot it was tonight. You're the new member?"

I nodded, unsure whether to approach or not, but edging forward anyway. She sat on a low wall that surrounded the area she was training in and patted the space next to her as a sign to join. I sat, but nowhere as close as to where she had signalled.

"Nice garden, don't you think?"

"Y-Yes, it is."

"I come here on most nights. That's not an invitation by the way. More of a public service announcement. I'd like to be able to focus. Aside from that, I'm free game."

I wasn't sure how to reply, aside from with a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand. She had already crossed her legs, resting her folded hands on her knees.

"I guess we haven't got much time to get to know each other. The Captain isn't known for giving us much of a rest between missions. Let's start with something simple. What did you do before you came here?"

"Before I came here..."

"Yeah, you're not the only one who's not too eager to discuss that..."

I felt bad being lumped in with the people here that likely had much more tragic reasons for not being able to share their past. The reason I couldn't easily tell her was that I had nothing to say. I'd never had anywhere to call my own or a calling in life that drove me. Nowhere would take me.

"As for me, well... I guess I could tell you what I did for work."

"Oh... what was it?"

"Pizza delivery girl."

She wore a blissfully blithe expression as she told me this.

If I had a list of unexpected things I'd discovered today, that might actually top it.

"Shocked? I'd be lying if I said it was my only line of work, but that was my day job. Had to pay the bills like anyone else, after all.

I actually started wearing my hair in a ponytail because of that job. I had to squeeze it through the hole in the back of the cap I wore as part of the employee uniform. I wasn't a fan of the colour scheme, though. I get that red and yellow makes sense for a pizza chain but neither of those colours are for me. It's nice to be able to add blue back into my wardrobe."

"I can't help but ask... is that your natural hair colour?"

"This?"

She combs her hand through her ponytail, letting the tips drop from her fingers.

"No way. It's naturally black, but I've had a penchant for dyeing it for years now. Wasn't allowed to at my day job, but now the only rule is shirt and trousers."

"And even then you get a different shirt option."

"I bet you've been curious about that, huh. I'm afraid I can't share the reason with you. It's the kind of thing that the higher-ups wouldn't want a newbie hearing about yet. Sorry. I do like the black though. Makes it look a bit less like I work at an office for a living."

You're telling me.

"Anyway, I take it your hair is natural?"

"Y-Yeah..."

"Sore subject? I won't drag it out then, but take it from me, it's a good look."

I wasn't sure what to think about hearing that. I'd had people compliment my hair in the past but it never felt genuine. It was either out of surprise or novelty, in the same way that someone might be amazed by a display at a science exhibit. But this time, it seemed casual, almost lax and indirect. It made me regret my genuine interest in her own hair a bit less.

"Hey, sorry to change the topic but... I heard a cat around here earlier but I haven't seen it since. If it's not a coincidence, then it's likely something we'll want to mention to Saga."

"Saga?"

"Right, you haven't met her yet. Regardless, did you see it anywhere?"

"I think the girl... Jou-chan? I heard her mention something about it."

"Jou-chan? Oh, you mean Eri. Of course, she hasn't introduced herself yet. Okay, time for a little excursion to Eri's room. 

Come to think of it, all of our rooms are on the same floor."

As we stood up together, she went for a bow but changed her mind midway through.

"Ha, sorry, I'm still used to that."

"I don't mind. There's a lot I've had to get used to here. Bowing is far from the biggest change of habit."

She replied with a sort of tip of the torso, something most would consider more of a nod, but it got the point across.

"Hoshizuna Reika. Oops, I mean, Reika Hoshizuna. Most people here refer to me by my surname anyway, so I guess order doesn't matter much."

"Uh, Beryl. I mean, that's my name, Beryl."

"I bet you've had to say that a lot recently."

It still wasn't a comfortable experience for me, not after my snap decision to only use my first name, but I'd had to face the fact that I was in a new place and it was necessary to have a name. Even machines have codes that they're identified with, and Beryl just happened to be mine. Thinking about it any further would just be an inconvenience.

Something tells me this is far from the last time too.

---

Hoshizuna rapped her knuckle against the door at the end of the hall.

There was no response, but that didn't stop her from trying again, a bit louder this time.

"...go away."

"Eri, I've got something to ask."

"What?"

"Have you seen a cat recently?"

At hearing this, Eri clattered the door open. I saw her in profile for the first time. She was dressed comfortably, her hair neck-length, sharp, ragged and messy, and the same black that I had seen earlier that day when she was stood atop the monster. But she was so much shorter now.

"Cat? There's no cat here."

"Beryl said she heard you talk about it earlier. Any idea where it went?"

Eri shot me a cursory glance before returning to Hoshizuna.

"I found one earlier but it was too late for it. Nothing could be done. Anyway, it's late and you're disturbing me."

She went to close the door, but moments before she could, a clinking sound echoed in her room, followed by a shattering and a weak mewl. Eri winced as she drew her lips together, holding the door in a pre-closed state where she was just visible, doing her best to hide.

Hoshizuna shuffled to the side so that her eyes slid through the gap to meet Eri, who had already begun averting her own away from Hoshizuna.

"So... I take it that wasn't a cat?"

Eri's face dropped, resigning herself to the inevitable.

"...Fine, come in."

As we entered Eri's room, we were met with more than I could focus on. Objects were strewn across the place without much attention, and her sofa had a pair of tights and magazines drooped across it. The table in the kitchen area was the most noticeable, though. That was because of what was on top of it, and what was now in pieces on the floor next to it.

A cat, and the bowl it had broken moments ago.

The feline was lain out on its side on an old blanket, legs splayed. Placed in front of it, somehow not on the floor as well, was another bowl, which contained a slab of tuna. The one on the floor had at some point contained water, by the fact that a puddle had formed around the ceramic shards.

"See? There's nothing we can do. It can't even drink."

"When did you find it?"

"...recently. Does it matter? You've found the cat."

"Well, I wouldn't mind looking after them for a bit. It has a chance."

"I..."

She couldn't bring herself to look at it, but the silently breathing cat hung in the corner of her eyes. Hoshizuna swung in with a snide comment:

"I can see it now: Eri Tsukumo - Resident Cat Lady."

"You know that's not it! Fine, take the cat. It's not like I can do anything for it anyway."

"If my suspicions are correct, we won't need to. I'll take them back to their owner."

"Their owner?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure this is Saga's cat. Although, I don't think it's hers, per se. It's not considered a pet."

"I see..."

Hoshizuna walked up to the cat, stroking along the bridge of its nose.

"Come on, little guy. We'll take you home."

She scooped them up into her arms, unable to see Eri's downcast eyes. She walked back toward the door, and I followed until Hoshizuna came to a halt.

"Eri... you always wear your uniform still even though you can't go to school anymore."

"It's... because that's what I was wearing when they took me to have my RepliCor implanted, alright? It's all I have to wear besides my Anahata uniform. That a satisfying enough answer? Now get out, I've got to clean up this mess."

Waving the cat's paw at her as she went, Hoshizuna departed from Eri's room along with me, sliding the door to a close. Eri crouched by the broken shards, starting to scrape them into a dustpan, but soon, she dropped it, sitting on the floor and drawing her knees into her chest.

Eri was satisfied in letting nature take its course. The cat had died and that's the way the world would go. There was nothing to gain in her getting involved in it. So why did she take it in? Did she feel pity for it? Or did it remind her of herself? 

Why did she go back?

A sad, lonely creature, left to die, and she had to be the one to save it, even if that's not what it wanted. Once again, it wasn't her choice to make. There was nothing she could do.

She inched her hand toward her chest, and the mechanical pounding was still there. It had never left since then.