Ario Sapporo Mall

It was the first of August. A new regulation implemented by the orphanage made peer outings mandatory two times a month, though they encouraged us to do them once a week. For me, I was content with doing the bare minimum for maximum laziness. Nevertheless, I wanted to immediately get one out of the way.

During the evening, I was in the dining room eating a sweet snack. Ringomori was also here, on the other side of the table minding her own business. We didn't speak, but that was okay. We enjoyed our company comfortably.

The idea for my next peer outing came to me when a notification buzzed on my phone. It was from my rhythm game's—D4Dream—social media account. I only used social media for news and anything revolved around the game. The post was promoting a limited sale on select items at a mall in Sapporo this coming weekend; persuading me to go.

Shortly after reading the post, I submitted my outing registration form to the front office. I didn't particularly care who joined me, but a faint thought of the pie shop reemerged. I hoped for the best and knocked on wood as I left the office.

Not long after, I was in the laundry room when a caregiver notified me that someone submitted a form of participation for my peer outing.

"R-Really, who joined?" I asked.

Before the caregiver could answer, a third party entered the room and answered for her.
"I...did," stammered a familiar voice.

I turned around to see her head peeking behind the door frame. She practically hugged the wall as she entered the room, a mild shiver struck her arms. The caregiver bowed and left us alone.

I whispered, "Guess knockin' on wood does help."

She tilted her head.
"What...was that?"

"A-Ah, n-nothing. Anyways, you've joined me this time. W-Why did you want to go to the mall?"

Staring down with her hands clasped before her, she said, "Well...there is something I would also like to buy there. So it works for both of us."
Her head gently raised as I connected with her golden peach eyes.

"I-I see."
I turned away from her to softly clear my throat of any nerves. My phone was pulled from my pocket and I opened the calendar app.
"W-Well then, I was thinkin' we could go, um, Saturday. Is that okay?"

She approached me and leaned forward to inspect the date.
"That works for me as well."

"Great. We can meet up at CLARIS and eat breakfast, then wait at the bus stop across the street. S-Sound good?"

A quick nod was her approval. She took out her own phone—that she apparently had this whole time—and opened the maps app to plug in the directions to the mall.
"Luckily a bus ride is only ten minutes."

Another caregiver happened to walk by and poked his head through the doorway.
"Sorry to interrupt, but why don't you two leave together from here? Why meet somewhere else?"

His question stumped us. Ringomori and I faced each other with perplexity in our eyes, with a hint of obscurity emerging on our faces. We turned back to the caregiver and simply shrugged simultaneously. He raised an eyebrow before leaving. I was certain he didn't understand our arcane dynamic, but we did.

Returning to the topic of the peer outing, I asked about what time we should meet at the pie shop. She responded with a giggle.
"Are you planning on showing up late again?"

"Attackin' my insecure lack of punctuality? That's low. I'll do my best to be on time."

"Then…" she pondered and looked around the room.
She didn't say anything right away, but instead was fixated on the dryer that had seventeen minutes and twenty-five seconds left before completion. She faintly gasped and quickly faced me again, this time with a luminous face as if a light bulb activated above her head.
"What if we meet at an oddly specific time, like 11:17:25 in the morning?"

My head leaned left with my eyes looking right. I pondered her suggestion by pushing my cheek with my tongue.
"…Why?"

"Well, you said it was difficult to remember commonly used time, so I thought mayhaps you can remember the time better if it was something absurd and specific. It would also confuse others, which could be...funny."

I gave her a fleeting smirk, agreeing with her enigmatic suggestion. It could be something else only we had in common. For some reason, I wanted that.

Saturday morning. I woke up late because I didn't sleep well last night, which shouldn't be much of a shock. I rubbed my eyes and could tell the circles underneath were getting darker, baggier. Like most mornings, I desired to laze around, not even wanting to eat or shower yet and instead lay in bed and fail to remember anything about my previous life. I would have done just that if I didn't check the time and see that it was 10:44:33.

Ah shoot! I'm supposed to be meetin' her in thirty-two minutes and fifty-two seconds!

I fell out of bed and sprung up with haste, gathering my clothes and towel. No time was wasted undressing and turning on the cold water. The sudden brisk and urgency gave me the energy I lost from the lack of sleep. Once I finished, I outfitted myself in a darker toned long sleeve and baggy cargo pants, put on deodorant, and packed my backpack with peer outing necessities.

I can't make her worry again.

I left the orphanage at 11:07, dashing towards the pie shop. August was typically the hottest month of the year, proven by the cloudless morning that allowed the sun to heat up the city—and dry my hair—at a rapid pace. That being said, the hottest was still cold, with the forecast predicting cooler temperatures later on. I was fortunate with stoplights and arrived at my destination.

I entered the pie shop and saw her already seated at one of the individual tables by the window.

"Good...morning, Vieira-san."
Her greeting was soft. She wore an outfit similar to last time, donning a navy blue hoodie and lilac bandana this time.

I returned the morning sentiment with similar energy—or lack of—and sat beside her. Before I could relax and regain a sliver of my breath, she showed me her phone screen.

Her wallpaper was of a small tree no taller than she was now. The tree bore fruit from its branches, I could only assume they were Toki apples. A minor headache that I assumed was the result of my rushed morning denied me from examining further. However, the wallpaper wasn't even the reason why she showed me her phone.

"You arrived two minutes and twenty-two seconds early. I commend you."

"Ah, I did? Woo-hoo," I exhaled while weakly raising a fist to the air. "It's too much trouble to be early, I'll go back to bein' late."

"As if being late did not cause you similar trouble. Are you hungry?"

It was a quiet morning for the pie shop, which made it easy to order breakfast. I wasn't surprised to see the same cashier from before already have our orders ready on the monitor, waiting for us to confirm it. I never noticed before, but the tag on his uniform apron displayed his name, "Hara."

We paid for and received our food, then returned to the window tables. Our bus was scheduled to arrive in ten minutes, giving us plenty of time to eat. Outside the pie shop were residents of the ward leisurely jogging and walking their pets while enjoying the rare summer high. I spent more time staring at the different shoe brands and dog breeds than returning the good morning wave I knew they were giving me.

We finished our pies in sync with the arrival of the bus. I quickly took an antidepressant as we left. Unlike the pie shop, the bus line was packed. We allowed the other passengers to board first, leaving the back vacant for us; she had the window seat. She recorded the journey as we went deeper into the city. It was nearly noon when we arrived at the enclosed and most popular mall in the city: Ario Sapporo.

With world famous and local brands, plus a rich variety of restaurants, there were a total of three floors to this building; the first having the most stores. We were greeted by cool air conditioning at the south entrance. The first thing we did was gander at the holographic directory to see what was nearby.

"Let's start here," I offered. "Then we can just go with the flow and enter whatever shops interest either of us, yeah?"

She nodded her head and chirped a quick, "Mhm."

Since a camera would make her stand out more than she'd like, she opted for her phone to timidly record her experience. From what I saw, she'd only capture things that she believed were worth documenting—trying to enjoy the experience to the fullest. I knew she did it in remembrance of her parents, but I internally questioned the target audience she had in mind.

On the first floor, we quietly window shopped through multiple clothing stores and an accessory shop, looking at all kinds of necklaces, earrings, and bracelets. None of it intrigued me enough to make a purchase, but it made me imagine an alternative version of me that had confidence and style to pull those looks off.

There were a few times where I surveyed my surroundings and noticed that I was alone, either because I or she wandered off to satisfy our individual curiosity. Today was the first time our silent stage went mobile, so it was difficult to be on the same page, or store.

Hope she's not lost. It'd be my fault if she got hurt.

Using my height to my advantage, I looked around the sea of headtops to try and spot her bandana. Towards one of three atriums inside the mall was a food marketplace. I had my doubts that she would roam nearby, but then I spotted her recording a small flower stand adjacent to the marketplace.

As I slithered through the congested crowd, a worker from the stand approached and started conversing with her. She was unable to meet his eyes, holding her phone tightly against her chest. I tried picking up my pace, but my movement became more restrained as I bumped and apologized to more people.

I was closing in.

"…I'd get these for ya," I heard the worker say. "Ya have something like that, what is he to ya?"

"I...I...I…"
Her cheeks were notably pink, but not the same pink as the cherry blossoms and more like the pink of fresh vomit. Finally, I made it to her.

"Ringomori-san!" I called out from her right.

She turned and looked up, her hair hastily sweeping the air.
"Cha—Vieira-san!" she shouted quietly. "You...You found me."
She retreated closer to me.

I said, "Sorry for branchin' away from you. Are you okay?"
The worker remained quiet, falling back to the flower stand without a second look.
Noting his dismissal, I asked, "Should we get movin'? I promise I won't wander off."

"Okay," she said and nodded. "However, it was my fault that we got separated. I will try to stay close to you from now on."

She started walking away, but I took a few extra seconds to browse the flowers that had caught her eye. There were orange and yellow weeds grouped together in bouquets. A cursory thought entered my head, but didn't stick.

A whistle accompanied by an "Oi" grabbed my attention. I looked to the left of the flower stand and saw the worker. He didn't say anything more, but instead displayed an amused smile, followed by a sudden wink.

What's that supposed to mean?

My left arm felt a tug, causing me to turn my head. I looked down and saw her petite thumb and finger punching my sleeve. She bashfully refused eye contact or speech, but tugged a few more times as her other hand hovered over her chest.
I-I never noticed her nails were painted red. I-It's…a good color.

We then entered a sports store. The interior was packed with jerseys of many worldwide teams, along with training equipment of different sports.

"Do you still play sports, Vieira-san?" she asked.

"I'm not that into them, but I guess soccer does pique my interest sometimes. What about you?"

"I am terrible. I always end P.E. activities in last place."

"I can picture that."

We left the store and found ourselves at the far end of the first floor. We still had more places to browse, but I was becoming eagerly impatient about buying the stuff I came for.
In order to not bulldoze over my companion's experience, I asked out of courtesy, "Which floor is the thing you want to buy?"

"I believe it is on the third floor."

"Really? Mine too. Want to head up now?"

We tracked back to a set of escalators that led to the second floor. At the top was another directory and I allowed myself a look. That was where something caught my eye.

Wait, they have that here? I need to check it out! I’ll have to ask—

"May we stop here beforehand?" she asked, pointing at the exact location that I was looking at.

She had stolen the question straight from my mind. Without needing to discuss further, we made our way to an arcade section at the far east corner. We saw signs and posters involving D4Dream, and once we reached the entrance, I saw the name of my favorite idol band.

""RONselia!"" I exclaimed, but not alone.

My ears twitched and caused me to flinch. There was a low harmony in my exclamation from another source. There was no one else around me, besides my companion taking a photo of a RONselia poster with an ear-to-ear smile. Harmony required two, and we were each one part.

Leaning forward, I saw passion in her eyes, as if it had taken the form of hearts; evidently close to the cheerful squeal she expressed. Putting two and two together, a new commonality was harvested—RONselia.

Mouth agape as tingles were sent throughout my entire body, my excitement was uncontainable. I needed to know more.

"I never knew you liked RONselia too?!"

She recoiled at my sudden increase in volume. Slight concern appeared on her face as she looked up from her phone.

"...Well—"

"When did you first start listenin'?!”
I was eager to know.

"I...started listening to them...in early elementary school. Back when they were still active."
There was a long pause with her lips still parted as if she was going to say something more about the matter, but her dispirited gaze seemed like she was unconfident in her words.

I jumped in and said, "I wish I could've known them back then. My first time hearin' them was when I entered middle school, since their disbandment was big news with everyone."

She still appeared disinterested in the conversation. Maybe the disbandment was still too soon for her.
Wait, were they the apple of her eye that she lost?
The hearts in her eyes had wholly dissipated, causing me to reel back and restrain my excitement. To avoid deepening the awkwardness, I veered away from the actual band to their fictitious counterpart.

"D-Do you play their rhythm game?"

"No...I do not," she said while raising her head. "I am not that skilled at video games anymore; lost motivation. However...I do read the manga that is concurrent with the game's stories."

"A-Ah, you do? I've been wantin' to read those, but my I tend to procrastinate on readin' physical books. Game stories on my phone are the best I-I can handle."

"I understand, but I am certain the manga will keep you entertained as much as the game."
Her sullied expression started to fade.
"You get different angles and honest emotions that the game's animations are not able to offer yet."

"Noted. If I get a chance to get a book, I'll take it. For now, let's check out this arcade, yeah?"
I stuck out a hand in the direction of the entrance.
"After you."

Rusty but still genuine smiles led us inside. It felt like we crossed a magical gate and were transported to another world filled with our idols. I never desired to come to places like this alone, because sharing the experience was half the fun—a half I didn't have. But now that I did, I felt something I'd only known from living vicariously through the rhythm game characters.

Ecstasy. That feeling had been swirling around me since breakfast. I'd gotten to know her better, and a part of me was relieved that she was happy to continue with me—after a bumpy start.

The arcade had many aisles like a shopping mart, except instead of groceries, there were games; mainly RONselia related. Children sprinted from the machines holding plastic capsule toys and character plushies, a place like this was perfect for creating childhood memories. Ringomori and I felt a bit out of place, but there was no judgment in this other world.

We browsed and played whatever games caught our attention. Neither of us were great at the physically challenging games—like the dancing ones—and usually came up short of the prizes. My attempts were caught on camera, and when I failed, her cheeky giggles were also captured. With every snicker, she put her hand over her shoulder. We found our calling elsewhere.

I was particularly skilled with the button rhythm machines, getting perfect and great combos with songs I'd already mastered on my phone. I also learned that her depth perception was quite honed, as she penetrated the claw machines' many disadvantages. The prizes we won were related to RONselia members and their stories' side characters, each one accompanied by a fun fact courtesy of her; a dedicated fan.

Sure, the arcade was called "Kids Town" and written in a childish font, but I was certain adults also came here to satisfy their kid-like desires they had once in a while. For me, those desires were erased; likely to never return. Was it selfish to think I deserved them back?

After an hour or so horsing around, we both spent an amount of money that would worry any accountant. Alongside games, the arcade also had a variety of gacha machines with tiny acrylic stands of the characters and voice actresses. The mall was ingenious to have all these cash grabs in one location, knowing kids, adults, and a couple of depressed teenage orphans couldn't resist.

I collected nearly everything related to the band's DJ, who was my favorite.

She said, "Out of everyone, I would have not assumed that you liked Aoi-san. Her character arc in the story made me cry a little."

"I feel like I could connect to her character a lot. Her story in-game was well-animated, I'm sure it's like that in the manga."

"You need to read it, you will feel more immersed and connected with her. The way the drawings are carefully detailed makes you appreciate the efforts the artists put in. They are probably breaking their backs to provide us with such stellar content."

We won pins and stickers. My euphoric high was the best I've felt in a long while, maybe ever in my new life. Although, even with all the fun, I still couldn't avoid an unshakable curse all depressed people had; doubt.

I subconsciously conceived a sorrowful thought that lingered in the back of my mind. It grew with every bit of ecstasy.
Am I allowed to be this happy?

To have fun while carrying the label of depression felt undeserving. Society had garnered a belief that a depressed individual mustn't show signs of happiness, or else it was agreed that the individual was simply faking for attention—because apparently some people thought feeling "sad" was "cool." For that reason, even if I knew there was no way people would find out about my diagnosis, it was difficult to sort out my feelings. I knew I didn't have to conform to society's arrogant standards, but without doing so, I'd only be left more behind. Maybe I was the only one who thought like this.

To prevent my outing companion—or anyone else—from seeing my overthinking, I equipped myself with a thin and fixed smile. That was the norm that anyone like me would do, to hide my feelings with a mask. Masks were helpful, like the ones the bank robbers wore to hide their identity; I was also hiding mine. The robbers did it for monetary gain, what did I do it for?

After another hour, we silently agreed that we had our fill of fun. It took a good amount of willpower to restrain ourselves from spending more, but we eventually left the arcade with our backpacks stuffed with new winnings, and I gained more knowledge about her and her devotion to this series I also liked.

"It's past two now, are you hungry?" I asked. "I am."

"I could go for lunch as well. From what I remember, there should be a food court on this floor."

I surveyed the nearby stores around us.
"Ah, you're right. I see a sign over there."

"The perks of being tall," she radiantly said.

The food court was near the arcade, on the opposite side of the central atrium. We entered the area and skimmed the different restaurants. There were typical western fast food joints along with local family businesses.

"Do you have a favorite food, Vieira-san?"

"Nope," I responded immediately. "Post-accident me can't really taste or smell, so all kinds of food are bland to me. That's why I haven't really whetted my pallet as much as most teenagers. You?"

She thought about it, but before she could say her answer, I decided to have a crack at it.

"Wait, let me guess. Anything with apples in it?"

I looked down at her and she was already staring blankly at me. Her cheeks then tickled pink as blossoms as she puffed them and turned away; I was right.

Moving the conversation forward, she asked, "Would you like to eat at this chicken place?"
She pointed at the restaurant ahead.
"Their specialty is orange chicken. Have you tried it?"

"Sometimes I eat it at school. It's okay, I guess."

"I recommend you try some here, it might taste different."

Just as she said that, I abruptly began developing a craving for it, and agreed with her recommendation; she ordered a karaage bowl. We sat down at a nearby table and placed our order marker. She looked through her videos in the meantime.

There was a delicate grin on her face the entire time. The volume on her phone was low, but I could hear our voices every now and then. Whenever there was a moment she enjoyed, her grin grew by the centimeter. But, for some strange reason, it would shrink unnaturally. We inadvertently locked eyes for a split second before she jerked away. That was all I needed to sense something was off.

She returned to me with the same smile I was haplessly familiar with. A smile that she gave all of her energy to display, but joyfulness was no longer present in her eyes. Only I knew what she had been doing, because I'd done the same: Showing the opposite feeling—wearing a mask.

"Y'know, it takes more facial muscles to smile than it does to frown. That means it's harder to keep a smile for a long period of time."

Her true self was showing, with a shrinking grin and faster blinking.

I continued, "You're probably questionin' your worth, believin' you shouldn't be allowed to have this much fun or else the world will cave in on you. Those thoughts are runnin' in your head, right?"

She sunk her head, and the movement of her shoulders led me to believe she was fidgeting underneath the table.

"You...You are correct about that. I...I am sorry for trying to...deceive you."
Her voice was quieter than the absence of wind.

"That's alright. I should be sorry too, I've been doin' it this whole time. I know that feeling too well. It's just...instinctive."

"It is, and it feels terrible to do, but still easier than opening up. I first wore a blindfold to stop seeing the reality around me, but after my mother's death, during my move to the orphanage, I put on a mask because of the kids around me."

"I get it, well, half. It's hard to adjust to a new life without adult guidance. Without parents, or any contact with any relatives, life becomes lonely and that makes it easy to disassociate yourself with everyone around you. That loneliness grows a burden on your shoulder."

"Precisely," she said, slightly raising her head. "It is omnipresent and it feels like it becomes heavier when more people are around you. You feel like if you get careless by having fun with them, that burden will take advantage and fall onto them as well. You become genuinely happy, but then your thoughts question if you deserve it, and then everything sours."

"But you don't want people to see that or else they'll spend their time concerned about you, and that just makes you feel worse even though it shouldn't, so you force yourself behind a mask."

We paused for a moment, the only sounds my ears picked up were footsteps and chatter of other people in our proximity. She was the first to speak.

"Wow…" she said with a scratchy voice.
She briefly turned away to clear her throat.
"The only person I opened up about this was Shizuko-sensei. Oh, and his wife, since she's my doctor. However, comparatively to you, they only understood only a small fraction of my feelings. I'm not accustomed to someone who completely understands me, so I instinctively masked myself when it wasn't necessary."

She finally looked at me, some joy returned to the peaches that were the windows to her soul.

"You're right," I said, "it's unnecessary. You don't have to do that with me."

"Very well, then. I will, on the condition that you agree to espouse your own advice and not put on a mask with me, please?"
At the edge of the table, her little index fingers twiddled in circles.

"Fine by me. It's like what you said before, bein' similar can be better than bein' unique—at least for us."

"We can be lonely together."

There was nothing left to say, and we simply concluded the conversation with unfeigned smiles. While she propped her phone against her backpack to continue watching her videos, I thought back to what my therapist said about seeing with my other senses.

Should I do this? I-I mean, I have a vague idea of how she's feelin', so I don't have to confirm it like this, right?

I, with little confidence and max nervousness, placed my right arm with my palm upwards on the table. Leaning forward, I wobbly slid it across to her hands that rested daintily before her.

I didn't touch her yet, but one glimpse into my eyes told her what I was asking. In lieu of denying my selfishly weird request, she, without question, laid her left hand onto mine. I wrapped my fingers around her, there was a fresh warmth radiating from her palm, flowing to her fingertips.

If I held her hand at any point earlier, what would I've felt? Cold? Well, it doesn't matter now, she's warm. She gave a fake smile, and if I didn't know better, I would've believed it. Luckily I did know, because it led me to the words I heard and the warmth I'm feelin' now; her true emotions. I understand now why seein' isn't everything.

I hadn't noticed until I let go—after holding her hand for a minute—but there was a rapid flow going through my entire body. Loud palpitations echoed inside my ears and my temperature was rising on my back. I placed my other hand over my heart, and felt it going a mile a second.
Wh-What's this feeling?

She retracted her hand, prompting me to say, "Ah, thanks. I was tryin' something Shizuko-sensei suggested I do more often."

"Hmm? What would that be?"

My arm returned to my side.
"Some weird method usin' my senses."
I was going to tell her the therapeutic science that went into the method, but then our food arrived in a tray.

The waitress placed my bowl of orange chicken in front of me, then set down Ringomori's karaage. It was safe to say we were starving and didn't want to waste any more time.
We put our hands together and said, "Itadakimasu."

I picked up my chopsticks and grabbed the first nugget. As I took the first bite, the taste and smell pierced through my taste buds and nostrils straight to my head. My pupils dilated as my mind started projecting an image before me.

I remembered something. I had unlocked a memory.

➼ ➼ ➼

I found myself walking up to a table of the same food court, but I was at a much smaller height. Furthermore, I wasn't with Ringomori, but a tall woman in a coat and heels holding my hand. Her warmth was apparent, but also a different kind from Ringomori's touch. A warmth I hadn't felt at all in my new life; almost motherly.

I sat down at the table with her on the other side, then our food came. I looked down to see what I had gotten. Without hesitation or use of chopsticks, I began pigging out until I received a gentle scolding from my mom. It was the second time I could remember her voice.

"Chamaru, what did I tell you about makin' a mess when eatin' your food? C'mon now, use these napkins to clean up."

I felt myself pouting at her, grumpily saying, "It's not my fault they make these so delicious here!"

"That's exactly why you shouldn't eat it so fast. You should enjoy the food you love, remember its taste and smell so that once it disappears in your stomach, you can always look forward to the next time you'll eat it again. Soon, your stomach will start cravin' it just by hearin' the words orange chicken."

"Really?!"

"You always get this whenever we come here."

"True!"
I took another bite—its taste was distinguishable.
With pure jubilation, I declared, "That's because it's my favorite food!"

➼ ➼ ➼

In one blink, I had returned to my peer outing.

"Did something happen, Vieira-kun?" Ringomori asked. "You seem a bit dazed all of a sudden?"

"N-No," I answered, my mind still scattered. "It's nothing."
I shook my head and regathered my thoughts as I took a careful bite of the chicken.

What the heck was that? W-Wait, did she just call me… Ah, never mind that. Why did I remember that now? Why…didn't I know that existed until now? Should I tell her about it?
I looked up at her, enjoying her meal with her eyes closed.
No, I don't want to derail the mood right now. Plus, I don't even know what to make of it yet. Well, there's something I can tell her.

"Ringomori-san, goin' back to your question from before, I'm sure now that this right here is my favorite food."
I raised a piece of chicken with my chopsticks, then took a healthy bite from it with nostalgic bliss.

She tilted her head to her left.
"Hmm? Was one bite all it took to confirm that for you to change your answer?"

"The taste of chicken told me everything I needed to know."

"Noted," she said.

We continued eating our food and letting it digest for the better part of an hour. Unorthodox to the dinner table, she finished her bowl before me. Instead of vacuuming the chicken like I apparently did before, I took my mom's advice and savored the taste and smell. I pondered my memory more, but came up with zero answers to my aforementioned questions, concluding that it could be something I bring up later with Doctor Shizuko.

Once I finished and threw away our trash, she said, "Shall we go to the third floor now? We're halfway through the afternoon and still haven't reached our destination."

"Right, let's go."

The third floor was home to an idol merchandise store for a myriad of groups, past and present. A great number of customers were present for the RONselia limited sale, so we needed to be swift with our purchases. My poor wallet begged for mercy.

The social media post that prompted this peer outing teased a few items, one of them being the top of my wish list. I browsed the apparel until I found a midnight purple hoodless windbreaker with a large reflective RONselia logo on the back, and the name in small letters on the front. I'd like to debut it in the upcoming autumn season.

"Are you goin' to buy anything?" I asked.

"Well," she hummed while rubbing her chin. "I was pondering the idea of buying a cute accessory I could put on my schoolbag, but I'm stumped as to what it should be."

I took my own gander at some of the accessories behind us and found something that could akin to her liking.
"Here, how about this?"

She turned around and I dangled the pin of a raccoon in front of her. The raccoon was female and the mascot of the band. In the story, she became the pet of the vocalist.

With beaming eyes and an open smile, she took the pin and twittered, "Tsukki-chan! How could I forget about you?! Awh, this image is when she got adopted by Lisa-chan, how lovely. They're both my absolute favorites."

"Is that so? You should buy it. I'm sure it'll go perfectly with all the Lisa-chan merch you already have."

"How did you know I have a lot in my room?"

"I didn't."

She bought the pin and I bought the windbreaker, even recording the transaction. With that, we opted to window shop for another hour as we made our way back down to the first floor. The only new purchase was a pair of apples—courtesy of her—at the marketplace. As we were leaving the mall, she gave me another piece of apple trivia.

"Apples are considered to be 'nature's toothbrush' to many people, mainly farmers."
When I asked why, she said, "Its hard texture and fibrous skin helped gums and teeth against cavities and scrubbed away lodged food and scraps. Can always rely on them to clean up after a hefty meal."

"To nature's toothbrush."
I toasted my apple with hers.

The weather outside was much cooler with increasing wind compared to the morning, which persuaded us to walk back to the orphanage in the summer breeze. The streets of Sapporo appeared cleaner than before, and the buildings nearby weren't very tall.

About halfway into our walk, we stopped by a small residential park and decided to take a break on one of the vacant benches.

"My feet are killing me," she groaned. "I'm more sore from this than the hike up a mountain."

"Because you decided to venture through all three floors of a small wearin' flat shoes. Rookie mistake that I also happened to make."

"It seems like we both still lack social experience."

"No surprise."
I looked at our surroundings and noticed that we were the only ones in the park, though there was the occasional pedestrian walking along the sidewalk.
"I never got to draw anything from today. Nothing really stuck out to me this time."

"Well…"
She put her hand over her mouth, attempting to conceal a yawn that still slipped through her fingers.
"There is still time to find some inspiration, Vieira-kun. Mayhaps you can connect it to RONselia."

To our left was a line of trees reaching the height of the buildings behind, and to our right was a line of small businesses without obstruction. I saw "Family Homemade" on one of the signs and it sparked a thought.

I pointed to the sign and asked, "Ringomori-san, can you make your own desserts? Y'know, like apple pies?"

She leaned forward to see the sign, then dropped her eyes to the ground.
"I would bake them all the time before I became an orphan. Once I moved into the orphanage, I lost my motivation and passion for baking."

"Ah, that's too bad, I bet you'd make good desserts. I wouldn't mind tryin' them one day."
I shifted my gaze towards her, she clenched her hand tightly against her chest as she shrunk her posture.

With less than a whisper, she said, "That makes me...a little embarrassed…Vieira-kun."

"A-Ah, I didn't mean any harm by it. I-I mean like, you could get a part-time job somewhere like CLARIS and I would order from there. I-I'm sure you'd skyrocket their business."

"I...see. I never really thought about part-time jobs, or even university for that matter. They always send me down an overthinking rabbit hole that's difficult to climb out of. I know I should focus on them soon, because I'll be on my own once I'm out of the orphanage program. What about you?"

"Well," I said while rubbing the back of my head, "my situation's a bit different. In the lawsuit of my accident, my family was awarded compensation from the person responsible."

"So you don't have to worry about money when moving out? Or will you still work during your time in university? If not, that's quite lucky."

"I wouldn't say I'm lucky. I may have survived the accident, but I had to trade in my memories and parents. Plus, it was mainly to pay for my medical bills, the funeral and cremation costs, and post-accident therapy for my supposed trauma. There's still plenty to spare, but since the sole survivor is currently a minor, I can't use it until I'm eighteen, luckily not twenty."

She leaned back on the bench, tilting her head to face the sky.
"Do you have an idea of what to do once you leave the program?"

"Not an iota. I never really bothered to think about how to spend my money either. I might just be a miser or a gambler."

"Be wise with your fortunes. As an orphan, there's bigger hurdles for us to jump over. It's like what they say, go big or go home. In our case, if you fail to go big, there really isn't a home for you to return to. Some kids are able to call their orphanage a home, but not everyone can see it that way."

I joined her in leaning back and sky staring. The baby blue was beginning to turn purple on the edges.
"If you had my money, what would you do?"

"I would buy back the home my parents and I lived in. Even with the money, it would only be a pipe dream, but still..."

I wasn't expecting a steadfast answer like that. Her expression was gilded, as if she had thought about that question and answer on her own time.
"What happened to it?"

"The bank took control of it. I sometimes walked past it coming back from school. Later on, it was bought by another family. Once they moved in, I could never find the courage to revisit it, even though it's close to where we live."

Her answer made me wonder about my old apartment, only remembering moving out from it. Unlike her, I had no genuine attachment to it. Maybe to her, it meant more than just a house.

I wonder where it is? I asked myself in my mind.

Without warning, a light weight fell onto my shoulder. I shifted my eyes downwards and noticed her lilac bandana covering my vision. Deducing what happened caused a fluttering sensation in my chest to resurface.

Tired already? Maybe she didn't get much sleep either, for whatever reason. I wish I had my notebook out already, I could imagine how we look from the front and draw that.
Involuntarily, I managed to catch a smell from her hair.
What's this? Shampoo? It's this what they call lavender? No, I've vaguely smelled this at CLARIS before, so it's sweet? Honey? What's that like? Whatever it is, it suits her well.

I stared at the transitioning colors that led to the afterglow over the sky.

After her brief siesta, we left the park and arrived at the orphanage where we separated into our own rooms again. However this time it wouldn't be the last time we spoke to each other. I showered for the second time today and she followed after me. After dinner, we were the only two to remain at the table working on our outing report.

"Vieira-kun," she said. "I've been thinking of re-downloading D4Dream. If I do...would you like to become my first friend?"

I displayed a smile of reassurance that calmed her anxious nerves.
"Sure, you'd actually be my first friend too. We can do the buddy missions they have."

"Hopefully you can show me how to improve my skills efficiently."

While her game downloaded, she went to her room and I turned in our outing reports to the office. Waiting for her return, I thought about my day.

If anyone else but her tagged along, today might've been another gray world experience. Like the person she called the apple of her eye, was she becomin' something like that for me? Maybe not apples, they don't really connect to me.
There was a common saying, and I thought it suited her well.
She's like my Buddha in hell.

On the lava river where she faced me, I needed to meet her face too and align our rowing paces. Then our canoe could flow through the river only we knew.
I wondered, What's her destination here? and figured this lava river—like all rivers—would lead us somewhere.

She returned with multiple paperback volumes of RONselia's manga and her camera. I picked up a volume and began flipping through the pages, completely astonished by the cute and fluffy art style. The purity of these pages were asking to be redrawn.

"I'll start readin' them tonight."

She placed her camera in front of her small yet maturing chest at the edge of the table, facing forward. She intended to record her phone and thumbs as she played the game. I sat next to her in order to provide tips and tricks as she progressed through the tutorial. It wasn't until then that I noticed the calming aroma intertwined with her hair again, it was something I could actually smell—it suited her perfectly.

We were alone in the dining room playing games and talking trivial for the rest of the night, until curfew did us part. I didn't sleep early again, but it wasn't for the usual reasons. This time, I was at my desk reading manga and drawing a certain memory involving a park bench.