Five Years Ago, Part One

Yani was out of bed before the first chime of her alarm had ended. She was normally on time for school, maybe a little late, but today was different. It was going to be her and her classmates’ first time speaking with the gods. They had been practicing interpreting code, but up until that point, it had all been pregenerated. It was simple sentences from no particular god, for the purpose of their training. Today was the first time she would attempt to communicate with any of them for real.

Once she had her uniform on, her parents were already waiting for her downstairs. Naira was there too, in her private high school uniform. She smiled when she saw Yani.

“Your mother and I are hoping for you to communicate with Apex or Dram.” Her father spoke first. No good morning, just a statement of what was expected of her. She wouldn’t have expected anything less.

“It doesn’t work like that, father.” Yani replied, keeping her tone tight to her chest. “We can’t tell the gods who we want them to choose. They’re the gods. They tell us.”

“I understand that, but you’re a Kazemi. We have certain expectations for you. We raised you to value our connections to Apex and Dram, so do you understand why it would be disappointing to us? I don’t want you to show us you don’t care about them, but it sounds like that’s what you’re doing right now.” Her father stared her down.

“That’s not true! I care about all the gods, just like our teachers taught us!” Yani felt a prickling at the corner of her eyes. She walked stiffly to the door where her bag was, grabbing it and swinging it over one shoulder. “You sent me to school to learn, so that’s what I’m doing. I’ll try my best to make you proud, but…”

She stepped out, letting the door slam behind her. It was the closest she could allow herself to come to teenage rebellion. Her parents enjoyed the prestige of having a daughter who was training to be a Godsinger, but if they didn’t like her, they could take that away at any moment. She had to prove that letting her have this freedom was worth it.

She arrived to school before anyone else she knew. It gave her time to get settled in the worshipwell lab, where they practiced. The equipment wasn’t exactly like a real worshipwell, but it had the spaces for their link buttons, and the old-fashioned monitors in front of them could provide ore-prepared phrases from various gods. The students were meant to learn to decipher those phrases until it became natural, a true second tongue.

Now that they were only two years from graduation, it was time for them to specialize. If the metaphor of a second tongue were to continue, then it would be the difference between the same language in two different countries. Each Godsinger could only truly understand one god, both because of the rules and because of a lack of time and educational opportunity. Understanding two could theoretically be done, but no one would ever want to.

A few more students began to filter in as the sun rose higher in the sky. One tried to sit next to Yani, but she hissed her away before placing her own bag there. That space would be reserved for June, who was clinically late, even later than Yani normally was.

Finally, June arrived, and the two of them leaned into each other, giggling with excitement.

“I hope I get Imon!” June whispered. “Working with the god of love would be so romantic.”

“She’s got family and weather too, y’know.” Yani whispered back. “You could just be helping sports girls make sure their games don’t get rained out, all day every day.”

“Yeah, but that’s not important. Not as much as love! But who are you hoping for, Yani?”

“No one in particular. Whoever wants me. I figure they know more about what’ll make a good Godsinger for them than we do, so why bother hoping for something that might not be accurate? Better to go in without expectations. Then you’ll never be disappointed.”

“Boo, you’re no fun.” June was going to say more, but their professor walked in, hushing students all the while.

He began to give the rambling reminder speech for any students who had, impossibly, forgotten the importance of today. He explained that the gods had been communicating with the professor, each one having claimed the students they wanted to talk with. Yani wondered if they ever argued over a student, or if they, in their perfect wisdom, knew just where each one belonged.

Her parents may have picked their favorites, and of course she wanted to please them, but deep down, Yani wasn't sure who she was hoping for, despite how June poked at her. She knew she wanted to serve a god with a shrine in her city, since her parents wouldn't allow her to live on her own in another one. That still left so many options, though.

Was it disappointing to say she just wanted someone to want her? It certainly seemed like June made a sad face when Yani said things like that to her. That wasn’t something she was ready to get into with her own mind, though. She just wanted a purpose. Someone to serve, who needed her, or even just wanted her around.

The worst option was for no god at all to claim her. It was a distinct possibility, and as her professor began to pull up the list of students and tell each one which god wanted to speak with them, the worry reared its head in Yani’s mind.

One unlucky boy was told that no gods thought he was a match, and he ran out of the room crying. Yani’s heart clenched, with empathy for him, but also with fear that that would be her too.

Finally, the professor was standing in front of her. Jube would be told right after her, and Yani hoped she wouldn’t run out after her if Yani was rejected. She would want her to stay, and do well.

“Yani. Imon would like to speak with you. And with June as well, actually.”