Power of Two

That was around 3 or so months ago. A lot has happened since then. To catch you up: Emilia and I moved in together. Since we’ve both been working pretty much since graduating from college, we had quite a bit of money saved up. However, with no income flowing in and a history of job abandonment on my end, our money was on a time limit. And a strict one at that.

Our apartment was small, but comfortable. It was nothing more than a hallway, a living room, a kitchen, and one room, but it was the space we shared. Emilia took the room while I took the couch. Our reasoning for this arrangement? Well… actually, I wasn’t sure. To be honest, I didn’t really mind either way. If anything, I fancied the couch better. It was right next to the kitchen. Easy access.

While I was comfortable with our new life thus far, I still had my qualms here and there. When we moved in together, I thought our new life together would be a little more… eventful? Emilia and I spent most of our days just watching movies, talking, or sitting outside at the park, stargazing at the scenery.

I enjoyed all of this, of course. But deep down, I knew that we were currently functioning on a time limit. When the money runs dry and the bills can’t be paid, we’ll be forced to go back to work one way or another. It felt like... like we were just running.

We weren’t fighting back like we proudly proclaimed we would, no. The opposite.

Today, Emilia and I had plans to go to our usual spot at the park. There, I’d bring my anxieties up to her. Truthfully, I had no idea how she’d react. I didn’t even know if she had worries like this. Not to say that she was simple-minded or anything. I just felt like Emilia had grown a lot more comfortable with this lifestyle than I did.

A few hours passed, and just like that, we arrived at the park. More specifically, we were on a bench located on the upper edge of a canal. To be honest, it was a sight to see. I gawked at everything in sight: the canal itself, the water that streamed through it, the occasional birds swooping down, the sky, all of it was so damn beautiful. Hm? Ugh. Emilia is being pouty again.

“What?”

“I SHOULD BE ASKING YOU THAT!”

“How come?”

I was, of course, messing with her. Instead of stalling, I decided to be frank with her and reveal my worries for the future. I rested my hands on my lap, then turned and took a deep look at her. From there, I let my heart do the speaking.

“Emilia. When we left the office that day, you made that grandiose speech about how you’d prove to everyone that you could follow your dreams and still become successful. I–”

I paused, trying to find my words. I didn’t think it would be this hard.

“... I followed you because I believed in you, and I still do. But to be honest, I’m a little worried about our future.”

Ugh. What was I, some girlfriend worried about her significant other cheating? Sure seemed like it.

As I spoke my hesitation into existence, Emilia looked at me, almost as if she’d been waiting for this conversation. She then cracked an Emilia-esque smile and stated the most listless words I’d ever heard in my life.

“Dreaming is all about not knowing. Let’s enjoy the world a little longer, then we can start stressing about the future. We’ll find something we can do. We just need time and patience.”

I darted my eyes. I couldn’t even face her. I needed to consume her words first.

“...What if we go homeless?”

“We’ll work our way back up.”

“...What if we run out of food?”

“We’ll struggle like wild animals.”

“What if–”

I ran out of “what-ifs”. I believed in her. I really did. But could I truly trust the words that came out of her mouth? Her words went against everything I’d ever done for the last few years, yet she sounded so confident. Where was her source of confidence coming from? She had an infinite supply that she could just tap into whenever. But me: I didn’t.

I looked away from her and took a deeper gaze into the water streaming through the canal. Something about the water flowing with no real destination in mind resonated with me. The water would flow left, then right, never making progress, yet it would always continue. Without reason or cause.

“...Over, and over, and over, and over, and over.”

“That’s how we dream, isn’t it?” I added, upon my realization.

She paused briefly before she spoke. Her face also grew red, almost like she’d become embarrassed. I didn’t blame her. As it stands now, I, another girl, was trying to consume her mindset. Something deeply intimate and personal.

Yet still, she replied.

“I don’t know if it’s how everyone dreams. But at the very least, it’s how I’ve always wanted to dream.–”

Mid-sentence, her eyes panned off. They’d shifted to a singular duck in the distance.

“See that duck over there?”
“Goose, you mean?”

“Whatever. Point is: notice how that goose is alone? It doesn’t have a group to run around with–to survive with. I find that to be not only sad, but in some ways, beautiful. It’s almost like a reflection of our world, right?–”

The girl gave me no room to respond.

“I want to always be able to find meaning in things like that freely. When I was cooped up in that company–always typing away about some complicated ass statistics, I never got that luxury.”

The more she spoke, the more of her words I felt myself swallowing. Her and my thoughts were wrapping around each other’s–bonding, unifying, until eventually, they intertwined.

I understood her, and likewise, despite me not having the courage to yet open up, she understood me.

I couldn’t let uncertainty overwhelm me. That’s what I did before, all those years ago, and my life got taken away in a flash. I steeled my resolve when I left my job; now, I need to see it through.

I stood up and puffed out my chest, prompting Emilia to follow suit, even puffing out her chest as well. Wait… huh? Seriously. “This girl, I swear.” Anywho…

Just like before, I locked my eyes on her. I then extended my hand out and proclaimed:

“...Mei Hiruno.”

A viscous pause ensued while she tried to figure out what to say. Then finally.

“Emilia… Terajima.”

This time, I paused. This was a lot more awkward than I thought it’d be, yet she continued playing my game, chest puffed out and all. Seeing how she mimicked my every action and even my thoughts, I stopped overusing my brain and, once again, let my heart take over.

“Emilia.”

“Yes, Mei?”

I closed my eyes and inhaled. Then, in one fell swoop, I exhaled, letting all my thoughts flow out through the stream of my breath.

“Let’s find our place in this shit hole of a world together. No matter what.”

My hand, which had been hanging idle for a while now, was finally taken by her, and we shook, almost as if making an unconscious deal.

I guess we’d officially become allies, huh? The thought of that made me feel… elated? Is this what that feeling was called? If so, then yes. I felt elated. I felt overjoyed that I was no longer alone.

I turned my head to the left and locked eyes with a ghost-like silhouette — a girl with long black hair, dark eyes, and a defeated expression.

She looked down at our conjoined hands. Slowly, almost painfully, her broken face twisted into a warped smile.

By no means was her smile perfect, but at least I… she tried. Without as much as a sound, the girl vanished. She became the past part of me that I chose to accept in this moment.

I turned my head back around and gave Emilia another look.

Truly, the power of one was no match for the power of two.