Chapter 2

The next morning, I dreaded going to work more than usual. Normally, it wasn’t as bad, and I had almost gotten used to it. A quick nod to the security guy, a ‘Hi’ to my colleagues, and finally, I could get lost in front of the screen for the rest of my day in the office. I think everyone had gotten used to it, too, because it had been a long time since anyone invited me to hang out after work.

But this time was different. I knew she would try to talk to me during the day, so I decided to skip my lunch break just in case she would wait for me in the cafeteria.

I had carefully planned to face her after work to give her back her phone, and that would give me an excuse to leave quickly by saying that I needed to catch my bus home. I never expected she would be weird enough to actually look for me, but I underestimated her, and it almost cost me weeks of my work. When she popped her head into the room and announced,

“Hi.. Amy”, I almost spilt my coffee over the keyboard.

I blinked and looked at her with rising panic.

“H-hi….”

My eyes found her name tag.

“.... Mila…”

She smiled and walked over to me, and I made a mental note to put an effort into remembering her name.

“Aren’t you having a break…?”

I shook my head and pointed at the screen.

“W-working…”

She sighed and patted my head, almost giving me a heart attack.

“You should take care of yourself. I will get you something, okay?”

She smiled and disappeared down the corridor without giving me a chance to protest.

I tried to take a few deep breaths to calm my rising panic. I had gotten so used to being laughed at or, at best, ignored that I was suspicious whenever someone was nice to me for no apparent reason. I could feel how my body tensed in preparation for what was sure to come.

It’s just a stupid prank, no big deal, I told myself and went back to work, trying to ignore my rising anxiety. Things like this didn’t happen often any more, not since I became an adult, but it had been my constant companion throughout school. So often that I almost…almost had become used to it.

It will be fine, I tried to tell myself. It won’t be that bad. There was a clear limit to what an adult could do to you in a workplace if they wanted to keep their job.

My panic skyrocketed when I heard the door opening, and Mila came in with a cup of coffee and a doughnut in her hand.

“There you go”, she smiled and put it on my desk.

“T-thank you.”

I tried to smile, and she looked at me, concerned.

“Are you okay?”

She stepped closer, invading my space. I nodded vigorously and pointed at the screen.

“S-sure.. I am fine.. W-working.”

“Amy..”

She put a hand on my shoulder, and I flinched and instinctively pulled back.

“Leave me alone!”, I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.

She stepped back, looking at me confused.

“I am sorry”, she said quietly.

She glanced at me one last time before leaving. When the door closed, I collapsed over my desk, tears rolling down my cheeks. Why did they have to do this to me? Why couldn’t they leave me alone?

—----------------

Like always, I managed to pull myself together and finish all my tasks. If there was one thing I was good at, it was my work, and I was not willing to let go of the only thing I could be proud of. No matter what it would cost me to be this way.

It was only once I was back home that I realised that I hadn’t given her her phone back. Damn. I pulled the device from my bag and stared at it as I collapsed on the sofa.

Why? Why did she have to play with me like this? It was the worst. Pretending to be nice just to… Tears flowed down my cheeks, and I threw her phone on the sofa. Why?

Suddenly, the phone rang, breaking the silence. I stared at it with rising anger. I’d had enough. I picked it up and screamed,

“Leave me alone! Leave me…alone..”

My voice broke, and a quiet sob escaped.

“Amy.. Amy… It’s okay”

Her soft voice almost made me believe that she really meant it. I really wanted to believe it, but… But I couldn’t.. I didn’t dare to..

“Leave me alone”, I whispered into the phone, but I couldn’t bring myself to end the call.

“It will be okay, Amy..”, she whispered softly, ignoring my request.

It made me happy. Deep inside, I had always wished for someone to ignore it and stay, no matter what I said or did.

I am not sure how long I lay there listening to her voice telling me that everything would be okay. It felt strangely comforting, and in the end, I pulled the blanket over me, took her phone into my palms, and whispered,

“Thank you, Mila.”

I wasn’t sure if I was ready to fully trust her yet, but at least I was willing to give it a try.