Nightmares

Sunday – 8:15

"B-b-but what about that manager's speech?" the new trainee asked me as the initiation room's doors swung shut behind them. "I will miss important details."

"Don't worry about it," I answered. "I can tell you all you want to know. Before that, we are going to the cafeteria. There should be an especially tasty breakfast today."

While I led the trainee to the cafeteria, I remembered something. "So, you will need a codename. Have any ideas? Normally, they choose it for you, but you can do as you want with me as your trainer."

The young man stopped in place and thought for a minute.

"Larry," he finally responded.

"Hahaha, sorry. That won't work. I forgot to mention, all codenames here need to start with the letter ‘T’."

"Understood." After another minute in deep thought, he finally came up with another name. "Thaddeus."

"Hmmm, interesting. That name has strong roots. Quite hard to shorten that, though. Thaddy...no. That doesn't quite sound right. I will have to come up with an easy nickname later. We have arrived."

The cafeteria was by far the largest room on the main floor. It could easily house fifty trucks. I led Thaddeus to a table and then went to get a tray of food for them both.

I reached the line, and unfortunately, the initiation caused me to be later than usual, resulting in a much longer wait. I despised long lines almost as much as my nightmares.

Thinking about nightmares reminded me of my dream that took place that very morning, right before Tamari knocked on the door to inform me about being assigned to initiate the new trainees.

* * *

Sunday – 7:30

"You killed us!"

These words rattled in my head every night for the last five years. No matter how many times I went to therapy or rationalized my actions, they still haunted my sleep.

"You killed us!"

I should have been numb to it by now. At least, that's what I assumed. Repeated exposures should usually leave a lesser impact every subsequent time they occur. But if anything, these accusatory guilt trips just hit closer to home the more frequently they occurred. I had been doing this job for over two decades now. So why did they only start a few years ago?

"YOU MURDERED US!!!"

I woke up drenched in sweat, immediately knowing that it was 7:30 in the morning. It had become a daily routine, and my internal clock always knew when I was supposed to get up for work.

After a quick refreshing shower, I took a long look in the mirror, trying to find a glimpse of the monster that my subconscious seemed to think I was. Straight brown hair with early hints of grey speckled in, most likely due to the nightly stress. Brown eyes that I liked to think of as kind and warm. I didn't look like a stereotypical cold-blooded killer.

Then why did I continue to have nightmares?

Knock! Knock!

* * *

Sunday – 8:20

It was finally my turn in line, and I quickly snapped out of the flashback; my previous annoyed attitude quickly abated as I got a glimpse of the food. The cooks always made better food to impress the newcomers. Usually, they just made scrambled eggs and toast, both of which I wasn’t very fond of. Today, however, there was also cereal. I picked up two mini-packs of plain Cheerios and added them to the trays.

I walked back to the table, sat down, and started digging in. I could tell that Thaddeus wanted desperately to barrage me with questions, so I took my time slowly savoring the meal. After a short while, Thaddeus began to eat as well. The portions weren't large, so they finished pretty quickly.

"Ok Thaddis." I immediately cringed. Nope. That wasn't right either. "Ask your questions."

"Great!" Thaddeus exclaimed. "To start, how come---"

Ring! Ring!

Glad to push off the questioning further, I quickly answered my phone. "Hello. Toby here."

"Agent Tobias," came the response. "Your newest target has been chosen. It's extremely time-sensitive. Prepare for immediate deployment."

"Got it. On my way." I hung up the phone and then gestured at Thaddeus. "Come along. We have work to do."

"B-b-b-but my questions..." Thaddeus stammered.

"Don't worry about it," I said reassuringly. "I will teach you during the job." However, I had no idea that training this kid itself would be just another nightmare.