Chapter 5:

The Pursuit of Freedom

who I am is not who I want to be



The concept of freedom had always been an intoxicating elixir for Karma, a word that could ignite her passions and be woven into any debate. Zack recalled a particular occasion when they discussed a movie depicting the harrowing journey of enslaved individuals who fought their way to freedom on a deserted island. Intrigued, Karma expressed her profound love for films that portrayed the relentless struggles for freedom, believing that within their narratives, she might glean insights into her own unquenchable thirst for liberation.While Zack was still a budding hacker, Karma's journey had commenced at a much younger age, providing her with a formidable three-year head start in the world of hacking. Her proficiency, combined with an uncanny ability to think beyond conventional boundaries, made her an exceptional hacker. Zack, who had initially carried the label of a "script kiddie," had immensely benefited from her mentorship and guidance, ultimately shedding that limiting classification.During one of their heartfelt conversations, Karma openly shared the driving force behind her decision to become a hacker. "I realized, Zack," she confided, "that nothing in my life changed when I prayed for freedom." Hacking, in her eyes, was the embodiment of absolute liberty, a realm unburdened by the stifling shackles of rules, restrictions, or external commands. To her, hackers were akin to gods, immune to the constraints of society's "order-obeying machines."In an attempt to fathom Karma's perspective on freedom, Zack questioned what true freedom meant to him. Unlike Karma, he found no oppression in obeying his parents or friends, viewing these compromises as integral to the bonds of familial and social relationships.Karma's yearning for freedom, however, transcended the physical realm; she sought emancipation from the psychological scars and emotional struggles that held her captive. Any attempt to impose opinions or rules upon her was met with staunch resistance, her perception colored by the ever-present fear of losing her coveted freedom.Zack, resolute in his desire to bridge the philosophical chasm between them, revisited the movie about slaves who had triumphed over physical incarceration and achieved freedom from their bondage. When he shared his thoughts on the film with Karma, she eagerly agreed to watch it together, hoping to unearth her own path to freedom within its narrative.As the credits rolled, Zack couldn't help but anticipate her disappointment. The movie had focused predominantly on physical emancipation—a realm distinct from the psychological wounds that bound Karma. As she watched, Zack sensed her lingering dissatisfaction, yearning to understand the root of her discontent.After the screening concluded, he delicately broached the topic. "What did you think of the movie?"Karma responded with a faint smile. "I haven't given it much thought, but I can say it was worth my time."Her uncharacteristically optimistic comment left Zack cautiously hopeful.Ice cream, a delightful indulgence that permeated Karma's life, was another facet that could not be overlooked. Her obsession with it was legendary, and no meeting between them was complete without a sweet treat. Her mood could shift from joyous to despondent in an instant if Zack dared to deny her the pleasure of ice cream. Her eyes would sparkle with childlike delight as she savored each scoop, and Zack had witnessed the transformation in her countless times.Karma's pursuit of ice cream flavors knew no bounds. She was on a perpetual quest to taste every conceivable variety in existence. On her birthday, Zack took her to a new ice cream parlor, where she delighted in sampling six different flavors in one sitting. Her descriptions of each flavor were so vivid that Zack couldn't help but be deeply affected by her boundless enthusiasm.The simple act of consuming ice cream held a transformative power over Zack. In the past, he had hardly noticed distinct flavors; candy and fruit all tasted the same to him. However, after two years with Karma, he found himself discerning the nuances between flavors, experiencing the merging of sensations on his palate. He had not only embraced her passion but had also developed a newfound appreciation for the complexities of ice cream.Karma's love for ice cream was unwavering, and she took offense at anyone who dared to disparage it. The one exception to her masked visage was when she indulged in ice cream. Zack, curious about her persistent use of face masks, couldn't help but inquire about her peculiar habit.With a playful touch of humor, she responded, "It makes me unique and special. It also makes me feel secure from devils like you."Zack burst into laughter, unable to contain his amusement at her lighthearted response.