Chapter 5:

Way Too Good (Suspicious) of an Offer

That Time I Got Reincarnated from a Convenience Store, Just to End up in a Magical One


“…Okay, another one, you ready?” I asked.

“Yeah!”

“Ehm… ‘Why did the Rolling Stones stop making music?’”

“Why?”

“…Because they got to the bottom of the hill.”

“Ahahaha!”

“Wait, you gotta hear this one too… ‘I went on Amazon to buy a lighter but all they had were 3,472 matches.’”

“Ohohahhhaaa!”

“And this one too. This one will be the last one, I promise… ‘What do you call a poor Santa Claus?’”

“What?”

“You don’t know?”

“No, spit it out!”

“…St. Nickel-less.”

“AAAAAHAAAHHHAAA!”

“What the hell!” I couldn’t take it anymore. “You can’t understand literally any of those jokes! You’re not even listening to me, are you?!”

I slumped over the counter in resignation.

Gilli paused for a moment, but then smile lit up her face again.

“Yeah, I can’t, but they are like, super good, you know.”

I reached for the bottle of Bulkar and took a swig. My head was already a bit foggy, but not quite enough to make me feel comfortable around a drunk like Gilli.

“How can you even be a priestess,” I sighed.

“Hmmm… am I really a priestess?” She looked at me questioningly and defiantly.

“Wait, so you’re not?”

“Of course I am! You fall for everything way too fast, Sei. You can’t hold your liquor at all. Ahahaha!”

“How was I supposed to know?! I don’t believe a single word that comes out of your mouth, you drunken, lewd priestess!”

“Lewd? Oh, come on, that wasn’t very nice of you.”

There’s no use denying the ‘drunken’ part anymore, I see.

I sighed again and looked around the dimly lit shop. It was already after closing time, but somehow, I’d ended up sitting here with this wreck, sharing a bottle of Bulkar (which, by the way, was a pretty tasty drink—kinda like whiskey).

“Aw man, I’m in such a damn mess.”

“Why?” Gilli’s gaze was hazy, her face dreamy, but I felt like there was at least a small spark of sobriety still left. As long as that spark was there, I was willing to confide my problems. Actually, I would probably do it anyway.

“Would you believe that two days ago, some stupid redhead with cat ears (I’ve already decided to ignore the fact that they were obviously fake) showed up here and she ordered crystalline dust for some ritual and then just never came back! Would you believe that?! Yesterday I found out her guild got cut off from the portal system or something, so now I’m up to my ears in debt because of her.”

“Wait, wait, wait—how much did you even buy to end up in such a debt?”

Gilli suddenly seemed way too sober. Her eyes flashed with interest.

I didn’t know what to make of it, so I just answered honestly.

“Hmm… around thirty kilos.”

“Thirty kilos?!”

The priestess’s eyes bulged, and she stared at me like she was trying to find the slightest hint that I was joking.

“Yeah.”

“A... and it’s still here?” she asked cautiously.

“Yeah, it’s still in the storage, but I don’t know why…” I stopped.

Wait… wait, wait, wait! Don’t tell me that…

“Could I buy it?”

I stared at her, mouth open. She really wants to buy it? Really?! Let’s goooo! If she buys it for even a hundred, then—

“Three hundred and twenty glens,” Gilli blurted out.

Three hundred and twenty glens!!!

“I’ll take it!” I reached out to shake her hand, but my heart immediately sank in disappointment.
Wait, am I really such an idiot? How would she even have that kind of money? She’s either messing with me or trying to scam me.
I was just about to tell her my suspicion when she suddenly sprang from the counter and bolted toward the portal.

“Give me half an hour! I’ll get the money, so stay right here and don’t you dare… don’t you dare call someone!”

Call someone? Before I could ask her anything else, she vanished through the portal.

That strange conversation had sobered me up a bit, and since I didn’t have much else to do, I started cleaning up. Luckily, the sweeping and mopping were handled by magical brooms and mops, but a good shopkeeper can always find something to tidy.

However, it really didn't take even half an hour before the portal hissed again, and the out-of-breath priestess emerged, dragging a massive sack on her back.

Whaaaaaaaat?! She actually got it? But wait, I haven’t won yet. It could all be fake.

Fortunately, I had one hell of a useful machine: a magical device for verifying money. From what I’d read in the manual, it was basically impossible to trick.

I silently gestured for her to hand over the sack. She didn’t resist at all and eagerly passed it to me. First, I inspected the coins with a trained eye, and then walked over to the machine. I swallowed dry and looked at Gilli. She looked completely confident.

Moment of truth, I thought, and turned the sack upside down.

The machine swallowed the coins with clanking and whirring, like a hungry tiger. I stared at the device, hypnotized—like a dad who just dumped last of his kid’s college fund into a slot machine, hoping for one final jackpot.

The last coin dropped into the vault and… everything checked out. Not a single coin was fake.
Shocked, I looked at Gilli.

“How the hell did you get that kind of money in half an hour?” I croaked.

“This stuff’s used in church rituals. I think it’s a good price, so I just borrowed some money from the fund,” Gilli explained, a bit awkwardly.

I squinted at her, feeling completely lost. What do I even do with you now, girl? Send you away? With that much money? No way! I might never get this kind of chance again! No matter where she got it from, money is money!

“I’ll go get the crystal dust,” I muttered and headed for the storage room.

I grabbed the large box, hauled it back and dropped it onto the counter with a thud.
Gilli threw herself at it eagerly, opened it, and checked the contents. I glanced over her shoulder and didn’t see anything besides little bags of crystalline dust.

I shrugged and held out my hand.

“Transaction completed.”

Gilli grinned.

“Nice doing business with you, Sei. I… just hope we meet again.”

She grabbed my hand to shake it, but suddenly yanked me closer and shoved something under my nose. I didn't have time to register what it was, but suddenly my nose was filled with an intoxicating sweet scent of flowers. My head spun—and the next moment, I fell into a deep slumber.