Ground Rules

Rose made me sit down on a stump not far from where I spawned so I could explain the situation. There were a fair few issues we had to sort through, but that was a good place to start.

“Listen, Rose,” I spoke up. “I don’t know how this is possible, but I ended up getting stuck in my own video game and now I have no idea how to get out.”

-¿Can you not just log out of your computer?-

“Hon, no…” I shook my head. “I’m literally in the game.”

-✿That’s amazing! I’m so happy they put you in the game! You’re voice acting sounded so good✿ Hey, are you playing remotely because they wouldn’t let you leave work?✿-

“Rose, I got sucked into my computer and now I’m trapped in this game.” I spelled it out nice and clear. “I can’t even open up a menu to log out or anything.”

-ʚYou’re so funny! I can’t believe they made you the MC of an isekai!ʚ-

I didn’t think that’s how she was going to rationalize it, but fair enough.

“I wish I were being funny, Rose. But I don’t really know any other way to explain this to you. They didn’t just make me some cameo character in the game. I have, through some supernatural means, ended up in the game itself to fix it.”

I couldn’t have been any more clear. Rose was a tad spacy, and I loved her all the more for it, but even she had to get that explanation through her head.

The text box didn’t open up right away this time. It was a good long minute before there was movement on the HUD.

-Wait, you seriously got isekaid?-

Now she was getting it.

“Yes!” I replied. “I’m trapped in the game we were working on and I can’t move myself.”

-Ray, what do you mean that you can’t move yourself? What’s going on? How did this happen?-

“What I mean is that my body isn’t responding to my will. It looks like you’re the one controlling me.”

Rose stood me up and spun me around a few times, then stopped me while I was facing a tree.

-OMG. So, you’re actually the YOU from the real world?-

“Unfortunately…” I looked down at my currently unflattering body.

-And I’m the only one controlling you?!-

“That seems to be the case.”

At least it was Rose and not some random playtester. I couldn’t even imagine how much of a bullet I dodged with that one. Those kids were all about ruthlessly stress testing the games mechanics, and that meant they’d put me to work like a flying trapeze act.

I suddenly started spinning in place again, which made me want to throw up.

“Darling, please stop doing that! It's making me sick.”

-Sorry. I do that in games when I'm thinking. Tee hee… ;}-

We needed to set up some ground rules very quickly or she was going to unintentionally tear me apart. I forgot that Rose could be a playtest gremlin too, and this un-toned body of mine could only take so much abuse.

“Hon, you need to be careful here. I think I'm really limited by what my real body can do, so try not to overwork me.”

-So it looks like anything I make you do in game affects your real body. Like, you got tired from all those power attacks. Remember?-

“Yeah. L-look, I need some slack here,” I could still feel those burns from earlier. “So… uh… please go easy on me, darling…?”

-♡You betcha, baby!♡ I'll take real good care of you♡♡♡-

Maybe there was a way to get stronger if I leveled up, but I didn’t have access to the skill tree yet and it didn't look like the leveling system had been properly implemented.

Which build of the game was this, anyway?

“Did you happen to see any numbers in the corner of the start menu, Rose?” I asked.

-It said Beta01-17.649-

Rose had a great memory for numbers. It's why she worked at a bank.

“That’s the most recent build…” I sighed out. “It also happens to be the most broken.”

It must have been such a mess that we actually spawned sentient life, and they were calling their creators for help. Nobody would ever believe this was possible, yet here we are.

I was just glad that I had some way of communicating with someone on the outside. Although, it would have been a lot easier if I didn’t need to read everything Rose typed up backwards, but that was a small price to pay until we figured something else out.

"Okay, I think we..."

Wait, where did her HUD go? It was just in front of me a second ago…

“Hey!” I shouted as I noticed it was on the ground looking up at me. “Are you trying to see under my loincloth?”

-Nice pokadot undies you got there, handsome (,,◕⋏◕,,)-

Why was I even wearing this awful outfit? I looked like a warrior down on his luck. We needed to find me some new clothing or people might confuse me for a streaker.

Also, where was she getting all those text emojis? She was pushing them out pretty fast, so she must have had a whole bunch of them on standby, probably with a second monitor.

“Hey, Rose?” I looked at her HUD, which quickly moved back in front of me. “How are you playing the game right now?”

-The game opened up on your computer at home. I sat down and the next thing I knew, a new game started and you were laying on the ground, belly up.-

I definitely didn’t download this game to my PC back home. That would have gone against the studios security policy. Whatever dragged me in here must have put the game there too. It couldn’t have been a coincidence that Rose was the one who discovered it.

“If you get any emails about saving the world, ignore them or you might get sucked in too.” I warned her.

Maybe that wasn’t the most likely thing to happen, but I wanted to be cautious anyways. I didn’t want two of us stranded here.

-Roger, Ray!-

“Roger? who’s that?” I tilted my head.

-Seriously? I said roger, Ray. Like, I accept your command. Come on, you're the nerd here! Don't make me feel silly! (⊙▂⊙✖ )-

Well now I felt like the silly one.

Anyways, we had to get down to business. Since this was a video game, I had to wonder if there was an objective I'd been given aside from “Save our world.”

“Rose, check the quest logs for me, please,” I requested.

-How do I open it?-

I was going to say that it was the U button on the keyboard, but she was probably using her controller.

“Press the select button next to the big Z in the middle of your controller.”

The pause menu opened up. That wasn't what I wanted. There were two little buttons next to the big Z button and she picked the wrong one.

“Hon, opposite button on the left.”

The pause menu switched over to a map of the area, which also had a list for every active quest. There was a single quest line available for me right now which was titled “Heal our land.” Before I could read it backwards, Rose sent it to me in chat.

-There’s one quest here that says you need to get over to a place called Spawn Town Inn and find someone named Tensei-

Tensei was the mascot and guide of the game, so she hopefully was going to have some info on my situation. This might have just been the main quest line for new players, but it was worth checking out regardless.

“Okay…” I took a breath and composed myself. “That inn isn't far. I need you to get me over to Spawn Town.”

-Got it! Let's goooo!-

Rose discovered the sprint button and had me book it down the path. My legs were already sore!

“Hon, wrong way! And slow down!” I shouted trying to catch my breath. “I can't…breathe!”

-Woops! Sorry baby! My bad ಥ‿ಥ-

She spun me around and started moving at a nicer pace than before, now in the right direction.

-Spawn Town, here we come!-