19. Hanako Doesn't Know Anymore.

 It was the sound of the drumming on metal that woke her up.

At first, Hanako was annoyed, having been disturbed from her sleep. Then she realised. How was this possible? She could hear a rat-atta-tat-tat on every part of the armour.

Why though? And where was she?

Holding out her hand,  Hanako found the noise to be nothing more than ordinary Salt, lashing down like summer hail.

All around, shadow people flickered in and out of sight, struggling to climb a waterfall made of pure white powder. Most of the shadows would slip off, sometimes catching the one below. It was the first time Hanako had heard darkness scream.

Seriously, what the hell?

Shifting around, the girl noticed her arm was caught on a dead person. Panicking, she tried desperately to free herself, but ended up dropping toward one of the fiery pits below.

Halfway down, the fall was suddenly halted.

Relief turned to horror when she saw another dead man grasping onto her body. The corpse was hanging out of the infinite waterfall of Salt.

"You're lucky," A voice said from somewhere beneath her feet. "Not many people get a second chance." Hanako wondered if it was another of Seth's tricks. "You can let go now, it's safe." The girl paused, unsure whether to trust the word of a random spirit. "If you don't listen to me, we can't begin."

What to do? What to do?

Pushing away the dead arms, Hanako landed safely on what appeared to be a scaffolding platform. On the edge sat a fourteen-year-old girl, dressed in a school uniform. Her outline kept phasing out of reality, like a bad projection.

Hanako blinked in disbelief. She knew this girl; they had been friends throughout school. Her name was Izumi Nakano.

"’Welcome." Izumi said, getting up. "Long time."

Hanako took off her helmet and stood still. After wondering if this could be a dream, she stepped forward and hugged the other girl.

~ How are you here?! ~

Izumi broke off and signed back:

~You don't have to sign. Use your voice. ~

"V-Voice?" Hanako said and covered her mouth in shock.

"There you go." The other girl said, smiling. "Hey!"

"Hey-ey." Hanako said, still finding it hard to push the words out. "Where...are we?"

"It doesn’t really have a name," Izumi said. “Some call it the waterfall of Suicides. It’s actually salt made from the tears of those who couldn’t cope.” She gestured toward the dark phantoms struggling to hang on. "The shades climb and climb for as long as they can, but they lose grip and go straight to Hell. No peace and a pain that never ends. The price you pay for taking a shortcut."

"You're here too."

"Excellent circumstances," Izumi said and parted the cascade like drapes. "Come on, we can't talk here."

The doorway led to a bright classroom, which shifted in and out of sight, as if being washed over by an invisible tide.

"A school?" Hanako said.

"The eternal classroom. Young souls come here, broken and warped, never to return, or feel warmth." She turned to Hanako. "Those responsible think they’ve escaped, but it will one day it'll come for them."

"It?"

Izumi smiled. "No spoilers."

"So why aren't you like the others?"

"While I did break some rules, there was a mishandling of the paperwork. So I'm stuck here. Apparently, this is a very, very rare case, and I should feel lucky. I mean, if anything, you got it worse and you're still alive. Kinda."

"In the other world, I'm trapped in my own body." Hanako said, slightly annoyed, "I had to spend months training, so I wouldn't get torn to pieces or hunted down by crazies."

"How's that going for you?"

"It sucks. Every day, something wants to kill me. Plus, there's no TV or Internet."

"I know, right?" Izumi said. "It's like all the worst parts of life and no dogs. I miss dogs and cheesecake, but mostly dogs.”

Hanako smiled. “Remember when the four of us went shopping for clothes and had those chicken croissants after?”

Izumi stopped and looked confused.

“You and I never did that.” She said.

“No, I remember it clearly.”

“Obviously not. It was mostly me and the others. You never wanted to come. Probably thought you were too good for us, moody as you are.”

“No, no…” Hanako said. “I was there.”

“Listen.” Izumi said, no longer smiling. “You wanted to be alone, so we left you alone. You got what you wanted... so, whatever.”

A different memory surfaced. Hanako is on a bus, gazing out at the restaurant where other girls are laughing.

Of course, she was too good for that crowd.

Of course, she knew better than anyone how the world works. I know best. Except I didn't. I let my pride guide everything, and it left me with nothing.

“What about the bike ride to the mountains?” Hanako asked. “Pass the old petrol station?”

“You weren’t there either. I do remember telling how the place might have been haunted. It was an epic. I made banana sandwiches and we ate...”

.”…by the Sawmill.”

“Yeah. Did you confuse your memories with mine?”

“I don’t know why.”

“It’s your fault for living inside your head for too long.”

Hanako uttered a brief laugh. “I should have done more. Now it’s too late.”

“You’re not the only one.” Izumi said. They came to a green door. "You wanna see something cool?"

The exit led out to a street full of houses and lawns. Nothing would have looked out of place, except it was all devoid of colour. The shapes of the suburbs were recognisable, but all painted in a uniform grey. It reminded Hanako of a brand new colouring book.

"Where are we?"

"Everything you see is unprocessed reality, existing below the surface of what we know. I have been allowed special access, because who am I going to tell? A bunch of Ouiji boards? Yeah, this is where I tell you not to freak out."

"I'm dead and my head is a tornado," Hanako said, flatly. "I think I'll manage."

The other girl pushed out a sigh and nodded.

"In short, we are the dreams of giant robots."

Hanako blinked. Once.

"Can it be shorter?"

"Not really. Look, in order to stop giant robots from destroying the universe, the higher-ups have to keep them entertained by creating a false reality. You know those spots in front of your eyes? Dead pixels."

"So what happens when their person dies?"

"They’re reset with no memory of their past life. If the dream chooses to self-destruct? Well, you saw the big waterfall. We’re all shades, and where we end up depends on how strong we are. Not in power, but spirit. How bright our inner light is.”

Hanako felt dizzy. Falling to one knee, she was barely able to keep up with all the new information.

"You said it would be cool." She said. "That's not cool, that's messed up."

"I meant seeing the world with no colour would be cool. The rest is yeah...not good."

"So if you're a dream, why are you here?"

"A glitch." Izumi said, helping Hanako up. "Usually, suicides are not allowed to walk free. It’s just a prison of unending misery." She looked away. "This is our punishment, to be trapped in a Hell-space as shadows, forever lost in an eternal nothingness."

"That's sad."

"Which is why it is important to live life while you can. Don't give up, no matter how much it hurts. Yeah, bullies will ruin your day, but School isn't forever, and you'll never see them again. Treat every day like a battle, one you have to survive. And every day you survive is a tiny victory, grow stronger through endurance."

"Easy to say now."

"I didn’t say it was easy,"  Izumi said. "You think I wanted any of this? All I have is regret for the rest of eternity. Pain doesn’t end with the body, it carries over, and it NEVER goes away."

"I'm sorry you had to go through it."

"It's my fault. I should've known, once you leave school, life has so much to offer. It won't all be sunshine and rainbows, but there are still places to go, people to meet. All that is waiting, if you just hold on. Hold on to one more year of feeling alone and having to deal with morons in the real world and online. Stupid, bitter morons who make your life miserable and will forget you exist once you're gone. And if you die, they get to live their lives, go on holidays, and play happy families, while you're in a grave rotting away. How is that fair, after everything they put you through?"

“Someone else said the exact same thing,” Hanako said. "Is that why you sent for me?"

"Someone needs to be told," Izumi said, stopping at a door in an alley. "I know all about your situation. I just wanted you to know, it's okay to feel down. Just don't lose hope, even if you think there is nothing to hold onto." She held her friend by the shoulders. "Promise me, you'll never give up!"

Hanako nodded. "I promise."

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes,"

"Good, because you're not going to like this next part."

They entered a shed and exited into a small garden located at the back of a large Edwardian hotel. Hanako looked out onto the garden restaurant with its decorative pier stacked with solid oak picnic tables. The restaurant itself was a white dome of leaf-patterned wood and tall glass windows.

She remembered how good it looked in its day, filled with a lunchtime crowd. The way sunlight twinkled on the rolling river.

"How long has it been?" Izumi asked, jumping up onto a low wall. "The Reinhardt-Commonwealth Hotel. We had our first holiday together."

"I remember," Hanako said, as her firend caressed a branch of Plum Blossoms. "It was the happiest time."

“ C'mon, let's go find ourselves."

Izumi drifted past the white garden and into the main area. Two curving staircases swept down into the great lawn, divided by a gigantic Italian fountain. The edges were filled with colourful flowers, creating a wavy pattern of yellows and pinks. The brightness of the lawn was so dazzling that she had to look away.

"Where are we going?" Hanako asked, upon entering the main building.

"Top floor, near the roof. You said something about seeing a ghost, and I had to calm you down."

Hanako stopped halfway up the stairs. "Was that me I saw?"

"Freaky, eh? You ended up haunting yourself."

"It is said we are destined to repeat the same thing forever. Reincarnate and make the same mistakes."

"Not me," Izumi said, with a snort. "Suicides aren't allowed to be reborn. We're ghosts for all time, doomed to carry our mistakes and watch all the things we could have had." Hanako was moved to say something, but was distracted when two people emerged from the elevators. It was Beth's parents, followed by Hanako's sister Ami, dressed in polka dots. "Oh, this just gets better."

" Ami," Hanako said, with quiet disbelief. "It's her, it's really her!"

"Don't get excited, she can't see you."

"I know, but it’s been so long," Hanako said. Beth's father was dressed in a cream suit and a white shirt while carrying a red cooler box. Her mother wore her favourite red and white striped dress. Hanako tried to move through the door, but a force field prevented further access. "No, come on!"

"Two bodies cannot occupy the same point in time."

Hanako stared at the door. "I'm in this room. We were getting ready to go for a meal."

Izumi looked at her watch.

"You shouldn't be around here for this next bit."

"So why bring me?"

"I meant, the view is better out front."

They used the wide stairs and raced down to the lobby. For some reason, every person they passed started moving in slow motion.

"What's going on?" Hanako asked.

"Ah, no! They've found me."

"Who are they?"

"The 'Ukulele Sisters'. They're like social workers for the afterlife and strict with curfew."

"You're dead, why do you need curfew?"

"It's part of my punishment."

The two girls headed outside, in time to see a crowd of onlookers stare up at the creeping wall of fire.

"Is that..?" Hanako asked.

"'The Alien apocalypse. It’s weird how we both survived."

"Didn’t last long.”

"To live is to suffer." Izumi said. Her attention was turned to an old car making its way at speed down the long drive. "Here they come, to take my fun away."

"What is going on with you?"

A 1959 Oldsmobile Dynamic 88, complete with fins and chrome lining, hurried down the driveway. Seated inside were two females, dressed identically in matching white suits and ties, over a bright red shirt.

The brunette was the first to exit the car. She was young-looking, close to thirty years old with long brown hair. She had huge expressive eyes and spoke with a soft accent.

"Nakano Izumi." She said. "What do you think you are doing out of hours, young lady?"

"I have a visitor. I wanted to show her around."

The woman smiled and held out her hand.

"Good afternoon. I'm Zoë. This is my partner-in-crime. Chloe." The other woman tipped her hat. She was an attractive woman of Korean descent, late-thirties with white, cropped hair. "I didn't catch your name?"

"I'm Hanako."

"Excellent." Chloe said, with a clap. "Now we're all introduced. It’s punishment time." She reached into her jacket pocket and brought out something long and black. The two girls gasped, but relaxed when it turned out to be a notepad.

"It's never a gun," Zoë said, shaking her head.

"They don't know that!"

"Will you get on with it?"

"Nakano Izumi." Chloe said. "What is the meaning of this blatant defiance?"

"I wanted to show my friend the firewall."

The two women looked at each other, then back at the girl.

"Why?" They asked in unison.

"A bloody great wall of fire came out of nowhere, who doesn’t want to see that?"

"It doesn't excuse you from gallivanting in the past," Chloe said.

"Ooh, gallivanting," Zoë said. "I love that word."

They began to repeat the word back and forth before breaking into laughter. Hanako fidgeted anxiously as the Apocalypse wall of death crept ever closer.

"Shouldn't we be leaving?" She said.

Chloe waved her hand dismissively. "All in good time, it won't affect us."

"This is like a hologram," Zoë added, gesturing around. "Once the past has run its course, it cannot affect the observer. Namely us."

"Having said that," Chloe said. "I do have drum practice."

The two women and Izumi piled into the car, leaving Hanako to stand around.

"There are no buses around here." Zoë said, tossing a thumb backwards. "Get in!"

Hanako climbed into the back seat as the fire passed over them. In the blink of an eye, they were back outside the eternal school.

"Yay." Beth said. "I'm here again."

"This is what happens when you take the easy way out," Chloe said.

"And because I broke curfew?"

"Of course," Zoë said.

"What happened to excellent circumstances?"

"EXIGENT." Chloe said, with a roll of the eyes. "I swear you do it on purpose."

"What will happen to her?" Hanako asked.

Zoë nodded.

"After some discussion, a Pub lunch and rom-com marathon, we have decided that she should get all the science questions in the next game of Trivial Pursuit."

"Even if you don't land on the colour," Chloe added.

Beth was horrified. "Oh, come on, not fair!"

"A punishment is not supposed to make you feel good, Dummy. Anyway, it's time this one went back."

"Wait!" Beth said. "Let me say goodbye. I don't know if I'll see her again."

Chloe wiped a tear. "Oh man, I wasn't ready for this."

"Don't you start!" Zoë said, "You'll set me off."

Beth took Hanako aside.

"We don't have much time."

"Can I see you again?"

"I don't know. I'll ask around. I mean, I can always haunt you, but you'll never know."

"I'll know." Hanako said, hugging her friend tight. "I'll always know."

 The light grew brighter until it blinded her vision.