The Girl and the Sculpture (Part 1)

   Hey, Rian-kun! Sorry for being late! —Says Cho while approaching me.

   I've told you that you can omit the honorifics, Cho-chan. And remember, it is 'Lian', not 'Rian'. Repeat after me, Li - an. —I reproach to her.

   Hum... but you are still calling me 'Cho-chan'! Call me Cho only, then. —She exclaims to me pulling a face.

   Cho.

Cho's face turns red immediately. It is true that most young women still feel kind of ashamed whenever someone they do not have a close relation with calls them with their first name. But, hey, it is funny.

   Just joking, Cho-chan. —I tell her with a soft laugh.

   I will get used to, OK? Rian... -kun. —She tried with great effort to call me without the honorific.

Yet I really appreciate Cho's effort to change that little detail. For me it can be something not that important —really unimportant actually—, but for her is a rule of thumb. I will be with here through her process of getting used to me. Well, I have to.

Every Thursday I help Cho at the souvenir shop near by the Kitsuwaki shrine. Sometimes we meet at the Shrine; other times at the store. Helping there makes me improve my Japanese and to collect valuable information for my book. Every person has a history that represents them. A little boy that met his favourite superhero, a young women with some love troubles, the office employee who suffers from work exploitation or an elderly that wants to have her ashes spread over Fuji-san. There are stories for everyone. Each story is unique. I might better say different. They are special because a little detail. It is just like light novels, anime or mangas: there are plenty of isekais, love comedies and slices of life, but each one is different. I love hearing each story. They tend to be very short —normally the conversations last between three and five minutes, and sometimes there is a person that tells me in one minute all its life. Nonetheless, they are interesting. They are full of life. Full of emotions. Full of the things I am looking for.

   Hey, Rian-kun! Have you already put the letter outside? —Cho asks

   Not yet. I will put it in two minutes.

   OK! I am counting from now... Hundred and twenty, hundred and nineteen, hundred and eighteen... —She starts counting rapidly.

While I finish wiping the counters, I hear Cho counting. I think it is kind of cute. I can see she is having a lot of fun. That is the most important thing. 

This store also has a lot of history. It is not inside the woods, but it is five minutes away from the shrine. The store has twenty years open already. How many visitants receives a year? Roughly one thousand a year. Most of the visitants come from the people that visit the shrine. I think one thousand people is a lot for a small village like this one. And there are no plans to try to increase that quantity. Most of them are locals and from near by cities. These counters seem somehow old, but they have been purchased two years ago. They kind of give some vintage vibes: a glass panel covering some polished wooden planks, in which the items are distributed in a kind of messy way, all really compacted, but yet still is organised to the eye, it is easy to look for the object you want. You can see some key chains, necklaces and bracelets of different colours. Some have tiny figures of mythical-represented animals like foxes and dragons. Others have a phrase written in kanji. A few have both figures and phrases. 

There also are some short and tiny desks in the centre of the store, with some books piled up. The two tables are covered with a white with red strips cover. The cloth is mainly composed by linen, and the stripes made with cotton. You can feel how the stripes are over the linen. The books are varied: I see some history and religious books and old novels, like from the seventies. I barely find contemporaneous literature between the books. Luckily they have the last volume of Kokoromonogatari. It is one of my favourite series. I started to follow it when I finished watching the anime, and wanted to know more about that universe. I usually read it between my shifts. 

There are also some shelves hanging in the walls, decorated with some colourful stripes of thin paper and glitter, like if it was done by a child. Do not get me wrong, it can give a childish sensation, yet it fits perfectly the environment: it gives a sense of positive energy that fulfils the old surroundings. There are some sculptures over the shelves. Medium-sized clay sculptures that represents mythical-like animals such as foxes and dragons. Cho told me they were made by some local clay craftsmen around forty years ago. Yet they seem like they were finished last month. It is impressive how people here take care of things. One figure always catches my eyes: a fox clay sculpture. The details are just impressive: the body is deformed, one eye is bigger than the other and the tail is more stale than fluffy. Like if a five-year-old child have created it as a classroom project. However, you can see the effort put into the work. Excluding the deformation and everything else, the facial hair of the fox was done beautifully, and the colours fits amazing. It is like the child that decorated the shelves also did this sculpture. The most surprising thing is the price tag. That figure is on sale. And it costs around seven thousand yen. I believe it is still on sale because of how curious and cute it is. Also, I do not think people take seriously that figure. I want to meet the artist. I want to know what is in his or her mind. I want to know what was he or she thinking when making the sculpture.

Now, I grab the the sign and the stand. The sign is a circular wood log, of two centimetres of depth and ten centimetres of diameter. It has some little rocks arranged to spell "youkoso" in hiragana, and under it it is engraved the English translation "welcome", just in case any foreign tourist comes by. We did it two months ago, as a way of making the store more appealing. 

   You are kind of slow. Five minutes ago I finished to count. —Cho says to me

   I was thinking about this store, like always. —I say.— You know how much I like to appreciate every little detail.

   Ah, yes. You like to appreciate little details, but you don't pay attention to my hints.

   What?

   Nothing! Forget about it...

   OK...

I did not understand, which hints? It might be not so important if she tells me to forget about it. I may have to start paying more attention to her.

   Hey, Rian-kun... bring those buckets. It is time to clean the shrine.

   OK! Should I also borrow the boots from the store next to us?

   Nah, I have already bought new ones. Look!

Cho poses like a model. She shows me how her boots fit her. It is pair of black rubber boots, with yellow soles. There is a zipper behind the boots, so it is easy to put on and adjust. Now I realised why I noticed that Cho is taller than usual. The boots combines perfectly with her sky blue jeans. Her jeans are also kind of old. I believe they should be a little more stretch fit, but they seem to be a more relaxed fit. I still believe they give a sparkle of freshness to Cho's figure. She extends her arms to the sky, as she wanted to touch the sky. As if she wanted me to see her full body. I elevate my sight a little bit, somehow slower. I see she is wearing a non-sleeve white-with-yellow stripes t-shirt. Between each stripe there are thin blue lines. The lower part of her shirt is under the jeans, so the belt with a circular buckle can be seen. She has a beautifully and balanced slender figure, which can be clearly appreciated by the fit of the shirt. Her natural face could easily overwhelm the fantasies of other Japanese young women. She does not need any makeup to enhance her expressions. I could say that makeup may ruin her beauty. A red with white dots headband contrasts her black and fluffy long hair, which is tied in a ponytail by a sapphire blue hair bow. All of those characteristics compacted in a one-and-sixty-tall body. The perfect Japanese beauty.

   They fit you great, Cho-chan! —I tell her looking at the boots.

    Just bring the buckets, you dumb! —She tells me walking away, kind of angry.

Yes. I was a little dumb. Well, not a little. Was that the "hint" she told me to notice? I should have told her how beautiful she is. I must tell her, but I can't. I will try to apologise later. It is said that you can win the pardon of a woman with food. Fortunately, I have some edamame beans left. I am stupid. And I know it.

We have been walking slower through the woods and followed another route. It seems that Cho wants to change airs. I do not know what is up with her.

   Hey, Cho-chan...

She ignores me. She seems still angry.

   Hey, Cho-chan... will you forgive me?

   About what? Why are you apologising? —She answers.

   Aren't you mad about earlier?

   Earlier? What happened earlier?

   Ehm... the thing about your boots...

   Which boots?

   The ones you are wearing...

   These boots? Ah, yes. The boots. What is about that?

Women are difficult to decipher. They are like a puzzle ready to be solved, but without a piece. The actual puzzle is to discover how to deal with that problem. But that is the wonderful thing about women. They are unique in their way. That makes them special.

   Cho-chan... —I extend my hand with the bag of edamame beans.

Cho turns her head to me. She then proceeds to releases a loud and energetic laugh she was retaining since we were in the store.

   You really want to gain my pardon with beans? —She says while laughing.

   Oh, you... —I punch her softly in the shoulder.

   You should have seen your face —She keeps laughing.

   Now I am the one feeling embarrassed. Jeez... —I join to the laugh.

This was the first time I laugh this energetically in years. I had forgot what was to laugh seriously. I had forgot the real happiness. The happiness I was missing. The happiness I have never met. I am really grateful with Cho. I remember this feeling now. I remember what is to be happy. I remember what is to love.

   But, Rian-kun, seriously. What do you think? —She asks me with a serious face.

   About what? Your whole outfit?

   Hum... —She nods, kind of embarrassed.

I got surprised. What should I answer? How should I answer? Should I tell her how beautiful she is? Or should I tell her what she might already know?

   I mean, you look really pretty. Today's outfit really matches your personality. Really matches who you are. —I said to her.

She takes a deep breath, smiles a little bit, and makes a short jump ahead and looks at me.

   You have passed my test, Rian-kun! —She says energetically.— That is what you should answer when a girl asks you for how she looks with something.

   Well, naturally you are... —Before I try to finish the sentence, a strong breeze makes a loud noice and keeps me from saying the word.

   What was that? —Cho asks.— The breeze couldn't let me hear you.

   Nothing important...

   Nah... it was something! —Cho exclaims with a curious sigh.

   It was just that naturally you tend to do those kind of tests. I should have known! —I say in an attempt to avoid making things awkward. 

Obviously, that was not the thing I tried to tell her. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she is. But I did not wanted to make things awkward. I wanted to ask her about that interesting sculpture that caught my sight back in the store.

   Hey, Cho-chan. I wanted to ask you about something...

   Is it about the shrine? The village? Or maybe... me? —She says that last word as the classic cliché phrase wives do in anime.

   Nah. It is about that weird sculpture back in the store. —I say accidentally cutting the joke.

   Uhm... —She pulls a face.

   You know, that figure of a deformed fox, with one eye bigger than the other and a stale tail.

   Yeah, I know which sculpture you are talking about. What would you like to know about it?

   I was wondering who made it. 

   Why do you want to know?  —She asks, like if she was trying to protect a secret.

   I am interested in this story. Each time I see it, I can feel the emotions he or she put into it. I can't tell which are those emotions, but I know there are strong emotions. Closed emotions. Emotions that should never leave that sculpture. I feel it. I know it. I am interested on it. I am interested on the person. I am interested.

   I can see you are interested... But, are you sure you want to know that person?

   What do you mean by that?

   Let me rephrase my words. —She put a serious expression on her face.— You said that this person had strong emotions buried in the sculpture, didn't you?

   Yes, I did said that.

   Do you know why is that? So you know what would happen if you ask her about the sculpture?  If the sculpture is like a closed chest containing strong emotions, then she may wanted to forget about it. Maybe she had a past that she wanted to forget. A past that she wanted to eliminate. How would she feel if you try to research on her story? On that story that she wanted to forget? On that story that she wanted to eliminate?  —She little by little approaches me.— What would happen if that were you? Would you like to be researched like a bag in the customs?  Like a backpack entering in a presidential meeting? Like a person pursued by the Naicho? Like a person trying to scape from her past? From my viewpoint, I wouldn't like that. Would you?

I feel like I cut a wrong cable from a timed explosive. I shouldn't ask more about it. I will think about that later, maybe tonight before sleeping. I may change the topic for a little while. We are near the shrine, anyway.

   Sorry, Cho-chan. I think it was insensible from me. You know how I am, I am really interested on others' stories. I will try to find another way to discover those emotions. One less intrusive. One that doesn't need to make the other person uncomfortable. —I told her trying to calm her, resting my hands over her shoulders.

   No, I am the one who should apologise, Rian-kun. I overreacted. I am sorry. —She told me with a tear on her cheek.

I pull the handkerchief that I grabbed from my house and cleaned that tear. Now I really have to change the mood before it turns worst. I hope I do not mess it up more than it already is.

   Do you like bread?  —I asked her.

I tried to control the situation with that stupid question. Why did I asked that? Is it really a mood changer? Shouldn't I have tried to use a more standard phrase like "the weather is kind of beautiful" or "today I did this..." or "tomorrow I am doing that..."? Instead of that, I go with a very random and logical question I could come up with. About bread. And it isn't something like a interesting fact. It is a question. "Do you like bread?" Am I still in elementary school?

   Wrong question. —I reply my own question trying to correct my mistake.

Surprisingly, Cho laughs. Behind those tears, I can see some laughter. Her cute smile was back! I do not know if it was the question or the attempt to correct the mistake. The thing that matters is that she seems better now. I will keep an eye on her, still.

   You dummy. —She says while laughing.— That is not how you change the mood!

   I know, I am very bad at it. I am sorry, really sorry. —I started to laugh as well.

   ...But that is what I love about you. Thanks Rian-kun. —She immediately pulls her body away from me, grabbing the bag of edamame beans in her way.— Now, let's continue!

She starts marching while pointing to the direction of the shrine and eating some beans. All tensity disappeared. Thanks it was not that serious. I do not want to ruin the mood again. I won't ask about the topic... at least not today. I will try to find a better way. Even though you can't tell, Cho is pretty much clever. She is that person that knows what to do in which situation. This is actually the first time I see her like that. Anyway. I will stop for now. The shrine is the objective, not Cho.

We have arrived. Here is the entrance. Two short poles that seems like bird huts —although those are not bird huts— marks where the road to the shrine starts. The poles and stairs have some moss all over there. In the right edge of the place, there is a small wooden hut. I do not know what it is used for —or even if it is used for something. The hut seems to be about to fall apart. I believe it was painted brown some time ago, and now the paint is starting to fall because of time. Is that how people also work? We kind of fall apart as time pass. We get to a point that we stop growing, and instead of keeping to grow or to be younger, we get old. Our skin gets dryer. Our teeth turns yellow. Our muscles goes softer. Our bones weakens. We start to see things black and white. No more colours. That is life, unfortunately. But what if we could conserve of youth? What if we could conserve our teeth? What if we could conserve our strength? What if we could conserve our colours? What if we could conserve our life?

I started to think more than necessary, again. Anyway. As we get closer to the shrine, the moss starts to be less and less. There is little moss now. We normally come here every two or three weeks to clean the close surroundings of the shrine. This place is not really that supervised or visited. The shrine that receives more attention is the Tanzan one. And it even has two shrines. Nonetheless, I believe this shrine is better. Is more attractive. It is greener. It combines better with nature. 

   I will tell you something interesting about this shrine. —Said Cho.

   What's that?

   There is another name for 'Kitsuwaki' shrine. It is also known as Kitoya shrine. —She starts telling a short story with a curious expression on her face.— All, let's say, 'green thing' surrounding the shrine is called Moko no Mori, the Woods of Moko. During the Taika Reform in 645, it is said that Fujiwara no Kamatari, who was Japanese statesman during this period, was chased by Soga no Iruka, another statesman. When Kamatari arrived here, in this shrine, he said that he will not ever come here again. At the end, Iruka was assassinated by Kamatari. Interesting, isn't it?

   Why Iruka was assassinated? Isn't it something crazy for a simple statesman?

   The thing is that Iruka was accused of trying to murder prince Naka no Ooe in the Isshi Incident. After that, his son Soga no Emishi committed suicide. That meant the extinction of the Soga clan. It is a very complicated story to tell. I beg for your pardon. —She said those last words with some sarcasm.

I now understand something new. Cho is not only clever, but she has a lot of information in her head. She could seem like an airhead, but she is not. Not even closer. She is one of the most intelligent people I have met. That makes her more interesting. And I love how she tells history. How she can sum up lots of pieces of information in a couple of minutes and make herself understood? She has an inner talent. Of course, I will not commit the mistake of saying that aloud. I know how stressful it can be to hear from someone you know that you are a genius and talented person. 

   I can imagine the complexity of the situation. I mean, the most complicated thing I've ever thought of was how does a worm think.

   Why would you like to know how a worm thinks? —She was really curious.

   Why? Just for curiosity. You know, worms are interesting. Now, I m talking about earth worms. Do you know how they live? They have no eyes, but they can perceive when they are in the dark on in light. They have no ears, but their body is sensible to vibrations. They have a brain that is connected to their body through nerves that sense light, vibrations and even tastes. They breathe air in and carbon dioxide out, but they don't have a nose nor lungs. They use their skin in a really complex way. Worms have five hearts. Their lives are complicated.

   Yes... but, why? Why do you want to know how they think? What's the point?

   I want to know what is their objective in life. You know, they won't be able to defend from birds or fishes, it is almost impossible that a worm could fight back. If they cannot fight back, what is the point on survival? Humans are predators. Mantis are predators. Even domestic cats can be considered as predators. What is the prey of the worm? Flies? Earthworms cannot fly or stand for much time. Ants? Earthworms eat leaves and other plants. Which is their future objective? Just being eaten? Or maybe they have a plan to conquer the world by reproducing themselves for many and many years? That is why I want to know how worms think.

   Mmm... and, then, what about goats? They don't have another animal as a prey. What's their point on existing then?

   Goats can defend themselves. They can use their horns to charge into the enemy. If they are alone, they can reproduce a sound that communicates other near by goats about the situation. They can defence themselves. Worms cannot.

   And what about NEETs? Humans survive to develop. But NEETs don't do anything for society.

   NEETs don't do nothing for society, but they give money to companies, thus there is develop. It is not that NEETs just stay at home doing nothing. They consume. They can consume technology, food, drugs... NEETs are all different. But they contribute to a certain market. Sometimes NEETs are investors and contributes to market economy. Sometimes NEETs are unemployed and allows employment to other people that needs employment.

   So NEETs are fine?

   Of course they aren't! They may contribute to market, but not for society. It would be better if they contribute to both society and market, but reality is hard. Reality is crude.

Cho look away, as if she could understand how crude is reality. Does she understand reality? I mean, she must know that reality is hard, but does she understand that reality can be even worst? Of course, I have just known her for five months now. It is obvious that I would not know her entire history. But I did not expected that it would be that bad. I should not be digging more. I am interested, but I do not want to make her feel uncomfortable. She looks at me again

   Mmm... you've got some points there. I cannot think of something else. —She said.

I feel that is a lie. Her eye gives me the sensation that there are more things she knows that may prove me wrong. But is like if she does not want to talk about the topic anymore. I can tell from her eyes. People says that the eyes are the entrance to the soul. Many detectives can detect lies and other valuable information of the victim or accused just by seeing their eyes. Eyes represent people. Eyes equal people. What is she not telling me? Anyway, I do not have the right to demand knowledge about her. I cannot demand her story. I shall wait until I could ask. It can be in a month. It can be in a year. It can be in a decade. No one knows. I will know whenever there is need to know.

   Initially, that is what I want to know. While I think, I may come up with more things I would like to know. —I said.

   You know, I cannot say I am not interested after everything that you told me. But I still think it is pointless to think about that. You could use that time in other activities like helping me, for example. —She told me with a soft laugh.

   Maybe I could...

   Or maybe, just maybe, you could ask me out or something... —She said that last words like mumbling.

   What? I couldn't understand those last words. —I answered, knowing what she said.

   Nothing... forget about it. —She looks to the sky why telling me that.— You can go back to the store. I will be fine from now.

   Are you sure? I can help you with the cleaning, like always.

   Nah. Don't worry. I can do it this time.

   You sure? We normally take a lot of time to clean this. I will be worried if you come back late. —I told her, somewhat worried.

   But that is because we talk a lot. Like, ninety percent is pure chitchat and the rest is cleaning.

   Yeah... But are you sure?

   YES, I AM —She says to me with long spaces between words while pushing me.

   Ok... I will be back then. Call me if you need any help. I'll come running.

   Yeah, yeah. Be safe! —She tells me while doing that expression you will do to your dog to avoid him eating your meal.— I'll be back by 5!

   OK, then. I will have some takoyaki by then. —I throw the bag with beans to her.— Have these ones.

   Thanks!

That was weird. Why she would not like my help? Did I do something to make her angry again? It seems she needs time to reorganise her emotions. Emotions. That make me think about the sculpture. Maybe she is related to the person that made the sculpture? Maybe she made the sculpture! If she made the sculpture, then those early reactions would make a lot of sense. And that cold "thanks". I do not know what happened. I want to know, but I do not know if it is the time to know. Anyway, enough worries for today. I will head back to the store. I will wait for her there.