Chapter 3:

The Teammates Who Don't Stop Helping Part 1

God of Exploitation AKA How I Survived a Fantasy World Through Leeching and Manipulation


"Okay, let's see my situation. I'm pretty bruised up, I've got some head trauma, and I'm stuck with absolutely nothing. Plus, when I die, I'm pretty sure that's it for me and this world. And to top it off, this is only the first place with monsters. Perfect start. I think I should see what these enemies are like then."Bookmark here

As I walk down the dirt path, I look at the grass around me, and the forests off at a distance. This is a really flat land area, so Charlieton was most likely some farm or lumber town, but definitely not a mining town like that crazy man was telling people. I know it was roleplay, but with the way those guys were probably killing each other, I have no idea what's roleplay anymore.Bookmark here

I heard some rustling in the grass. I see a flash of white. The grass crumpled as a swift animal jumps out in front of me.Bookmark here

"Oh, an albino field mouse. I know this is a starting town, but I was thinking of something more magical, you know. Like maybe a fairy, or some walking mushroom or something more attractive. Albino rats are pretty cool though, so let's kill this son of a bitch."Bookmark here

I march over to stop the critter, but it runs in circles whenever I make a step.Bookmark here

"Crap, I don't have any weapons. Wait, never mind, I got it."Bookmark here

I reach to the ground while staring at the white menace. I equip my new weapon and lunge for an attack.Bookmark here

"Taste the stomping of my fists!"Bookmark here

I punch the ground with my newly invented boxing shoes. Unfortunately, my hands are just as slow as my feet.Bookmark here

"Great, I did that for nothing then. Now I got like foot sweat and stuff. It's not my body anyways, I'll just like eat these shoes before switching back if I feel like it."Bookmark here

As I was busy talking to myself, I have lost sight of the rat. I could still hear scurrying, but every trot was ambiguous of location, until it already strikes. Bookmark here

"Ow! Did you seriously bite me? Now I'm gonna get like a bloody sock."Bookmark here

I turned around and attempted to beat the creature to the ground. It out-speeds me again, but this it began crawling up me. In a haste, I slam by body on the ground.Bookmark here

"Ow, that really hurt. I don't think I got him."Bookmark here

The rat walks up to my face to mock me.Bookmark here

"What the hell do you even want from me? Are you seriously going to eat me when I die?"Bookmark here

Almost as if reply, the rat grabbed onto my nose with its incisors.Bookmark here

"Ow! I'm not gonna punch myself in the face. Instead, I'll just slam my face into the ground."Bookmark here

I do exactly as I said. I feel the brush of itss tail, and then the impact of my own consequences. I feel really lightheaded now.Bookmark here

"Is this seriously how it ends for me? I'm going to die from an albino rat? How did I survive being beaten by some super strong guy with a ladder but I can't survive some stupid rat bites? And, maybe the face smash thing? Maybe that armor really did help. I think pain does not equate to my life span then. Wow, that's pretty torturous when I think about it. Anyways, this shouldn't be the end of me, but I'll just say goodbye to the Earth, I guess. Wait, why did I call it Earth? Is it called that? I mean, I could call it that, it's pretty much up to the people here who decide what this planet it called."Bookmark here

Suddenly, what appeared before me was a girl running full speed at me. From my angle, I can see she is wearing a short bright blue skirt and a small equally colored shirt. I think this must be a mage. She finally makes it to my lying body.Bookmark here

"Excuse me, are you a mage?" I asked?Bookmark here

"Uh, nope."Bookmark here

"AW CRAP, I'M GONNA DIE!"Bookmark here

"But I have healing magic."Bookmark here

"Oh cool. But why did you not say you were a mage then? I thought I gave healing magic to all mages."Bookmark here

"You gave you what to mages?"Bookmark here

"I said I give my thanks to them."Bookmark here

"But I'm not a mage."Bookmark here

"Exactly, you don't get a thanks until you help me, because I'm gonna die any second."Bookmark here

The girl pulls out her dagger, and strike the mouse on the ground. The mouse was not brutally murdered unfortunately, but incapacitated.Bookmark here

"Now them, let me heal you up."Bookmark here

Now that the situation has calmed down, I can see what type of person she is. She talks very sweetly, and seems happy to help me. She waves her dagger in my face, and a rush of wind starts blowing through the air. I could see she has long flowing brown hair, but she didn't care that it started covering her face. But I care, because now there's a dagger in my face now.Bookmark here

"You should be all better now!" she cheers.Bookmark here

I am full of energy again all of a sudden. I pick myself up and dust off my clothes.Bookmark here

"Thank you. My name is R. G. Can I get a name from you?"Bookmark here

"Sure, R. G. I am West Virginia, or you could call me W.V."Bookmark here

"Okay, that is like the same length as saying West Virginia, so I'll just interchange them when I feel like it."Bookmark here

"No problem. But there is a problem with you. You're not wearing any sort of armor. Don't you have any weapons?"Bookmark here

"Yeah, some weirdos tried to kill me, and pretty much destroyed any place necessary to go out adventuring, so now I'm stuck like this."Bookmark here

"Oh goodness, that's terrible! But you should've been able to get through this route at least. Let me analyze your stats for a moment."Bookmark here

WV took out her dagger and casted a spell on me. Some sparks came out of the dagger and revealed some sort of glowing window. She gasps at the sight of it.Bookmark here

"Oh my God, your stats! They are all 1 across the board!"Bookmark here

"What, let me see that."Bookmark here

I peer into the glowing screen. It’s hard to make out the symbols, but I can tell from the squiggles, every single stat I had is set to 1. My HP was the largest number. It looks like I only have 20 HP. Gee, that armor I had must've been super powerful stuff. Or maybe that guy was going soft for some reason, because this is ridiculous.Bookmark here

"How the hell am I supposed to survive with stats like that?"Bookmark here

"Hey, calm down. I'll help you out. What you need is some training."Bookmark here

"Oh yeah, that could help out a bit. So I assume I am still level 1."Bookmark here

"Correct, you have plenty of room for improvement."Bookmark here

"So, what about that rat you just killed. Did I get experience from that?"Bookmark here

"Oh that, unfortunately no. That's because that wasn't supposed to be a major threat. You can only get experience from those who really want to fight."Bookmark here

"You've gotta be kidding me. If I am susceptible to death from a freaking rat, what am I supposed to do to train?"Bookmark here

"I suppose I have time for this detour, but I can help you train for a while. I can also throw you some equipment to make the fights much easier."Bookmark here

"Oh great, for once I'm actually getting some actual help here."Bookmark here

Upon accepting her help, I suddenly feel something. I know some information about this girl. Her full name is West Virginia Doog. She was a special needs elementary school teacher. It should be obvious, but her personality makes a lot of sense now.Bookmark here

"Follow me. I'll protect you on the way to the next town." She says, and she charges through the grass.Bookmark here

When she said that, it actually occurred to me. Where am I supposed to go actually? How do I even get to the border world? Is this journey all for nothing? Probably when I get to town, I can have time to think about where to go. And if that doesn't work, then I guess I'm going to be stuck doing absolutely nothing productive for the rest of my living life.Bookmark here

Eventually, we make it to a town. It looks very well structured, and not so flashy like Charlieton. There is a river with a bridge that leads into the town. The town itself is densely populated with strip malls. The streets all lead up to a giant square with a monument in the center. Bookmark here

"Here we are, this is Boston."Bookmark here

"Boston? What's with the place names? They don't sound very fantasy like."Bookmark here

"According to what I read, people did that at first, but realized they didn't know how to pronounce them, like Diksawkberg. The correct pronunciation is 'Di-Ksa-Kberg.' They got sick of creating fantasy names, and chose whatever was the first city they could remember from the previous world."Bookmark here

"Makes no sense to me, but I'll take your theory."Bookmark here

"Here, in this bar. My teammates are waiting for me."Bookmark here

We walk in, and go down some wooden steps. Inside was a typical underground bar. There are some lit candles on the walls, and a long table for people to sit for drinks.Bookmark here

There are two teammates sitting at a table. One is a skinny man who is wearing all green clothes like Robin Hood, except lacking a hat in exchange for very short black hair. Though, he actually has a quiver and bow. Maybe this guy is a Robin Hood wannabe.Bookmark here

"Are you a Robin Hood wannabe?"Bookmark here

"Uh, no?"Bookmark here

"Damn it, second time I'm wrong in the past hour."Bookmark here

The other person is a girl with a dark long dress. She has her hair in a ponytail, and appears to be holding a long-ranged sword. Around her hand is a jeweled bracelet. Bookmark here

Both of these two looks more pessimistic than WV. They both look bored and don't seem enthusiastic to meet me. I don't want another incident like the last people, so I better be super positive now.Bookmark here

"Hey guys, I'm R.G. Nice to meet you all. What are your names'?"Bookmark here

"I'm Junior R," says the Robin Hood guy. He immediately looks away after telling.Bookmark here

"I'm Katerina," says the dark dressed woman. She gets up to inspect me more. "What kind of strength does he have, West Virginia?"Bookmark here

"Him? Well, he's pretty new."Bookmark here

Junior R suddenly gets up to speak. "Did you say new. I told you before, I don't have the patience to work with newbies like him."Bookmark here

"Well, what level are you guys?" I ask.Bookmark here

All of them look very confused.Bookmark here

"Can't you just analyze us, R.G.?" asks Katerina.Bookmark here

"Analyze? No, I don't know how to."Bookmark here

"But, everyone has the ability to analyze. That's how you know what level you are and what stats you have."Bookmark here

"Ah crap, I don't have that power." I was sent to this world with nothing, but I didn't think he'd also take away my ability to see my own stats. Or, maybe he didn't realize he could give it, and simply forgot.Bookmark here

W.V. intervened to say something. "Okay, so this guy has stats of 1 at the moment. I didn't want him to wander alone like that. He would have died to a rat."Bookmark here

"Yeah thanks, I totally asked you to mention that."Bookmark here

"But for now, he will be joining us. Once he becomes strong enough, he might even be great use for us in the future."Bookmark here

"I can't tell if you're just saying that to cheer me up, or you're all planning something like ditching me in the end. Either way, I can't imagine you all taking me in."Bookmark here

"Hey, I'm serious, R.G. We are one short of a teammate."Bookmark here

"That's because the other guy sucked so bad and ended up dying. And now you're seriously taking someone even worse?" Junior added.Bookmark here

"No, no! Last time we just picked him up and brought him to places out of nowhere. This time, we have analyzed this guy, and we will not stop training until he is prepared to continue the journey."Bookmark here

"Hey, how far are you in your journey approximately? Actually, I don't even know what the end goal is, so how far from here were you guys?"Bookmark here

Katerina pulls out a map and points to a location. "Here, we are going to Stupidest Mountain in the World, or SMITHW."Bookmark here

"Interesting name. Is there something that makes it so stupid?"Bookmark here

"That's the entrance to Hell, which is where Satan lives. He is the one controlling the devils. He named the place like, um... I don't even remember. Everyone's been referring it to Stupidest Mountain in the World to spite them ever since the discovering."Bookmark here

"Oh, that makes a lot of sense, but why did you return here?"Bookmark here

"West Virginia could answer that," said Junior.Bookmark here

"I just thought that we had enough money, and we had a lot of weapons and armor that were obsolete to us. So, we decided to come back here to help the less fortune. Like you, R.G.," said WV.Bookmark here

"Considering you have to move forward in your journey, isn't going back for a bit of charity kind of dumb?"Bookmark here

"That's what I've been saying," said Junior R.Bookmark here

"Hey, no need to complain, Junior. We got here through a magic hook. We could only use it one time for a roundtrip, and have to purchase another when we need to," replied WV.Bookmark here

"Yep, she really spent the money just go to a pointless charity."Bookmark here

"Every charity is all about giving away without taking anything back. I just want to help the less fortunate. We have way too much money and have nothing interesting to buy unless it's for materialistic purposes. Plus, Katerina said it was okay, and even encouraged to do such an act." West Virginia turns back to me "By the way, did you have any plans on where you wanted to go?"Bookmark here

This question was going to come up at some point. How do I even explain it them? I would sound crazy saying that I'm a God with these horrible stats. However, what do I even do to return to my world? I definitely can't go back there directly, but I can do something to get someone to bring me there.Bookmark here

"Do you guys happen to know where is the holiest church on this continent?" I ask.Bookmark here

I hear Katerina mumbling, and look at the map again.Bookmark here

"I know that the biggest holy rituals are performed here, the St. Petersburg Cathedral in St. Petersburg." Katerina glided her finger to the location, far across from where we are situated.Bookmark here

"You can't be serious. That's going to take months before I get there."Bookmark here

"Actually, if we return using the magic hook we mentioned, we'd be going here, Black Valley." Her finger pointed to the city. It isn't close, but definitely would allow me to get there in about a week or two.Bookmark here

"Do you have a goal in mind when you get there?" asked WV.Bookmark here

"Oh, right. I just wanted to like, understand God and that stuff. I don't even know what the religion in this world is anyways, but it looks like learning it will give me like some Holy powers or something. This world is full of devils anyway."Bookmark here

"Not a bad idea. Okay, then we'll help you get there. However, the outskirts of Black Valley are going to be very difficult. There's like horrible monsters with 50 hands that want to rip you apart, or ones that hide underground to suck you into their lairs."Bookmark here

"You're seriously going to bring him still, West Virginia?" asks Junior R. "I don't have the patience to help this newbie. Let's just sell whatever we have, and get the Hell out of here."Bookmark here

"We're just going to fight some enemies, and improve his strength to an acceptable level. Then, we can go back to our journey, and protect him from there." replied WV.Bookmark here

"So that's how it is? We're going to be meat shields for this utterly useless man in battles?"Bookmark here

"Hey, this guy really wants to go on a journey. For some reason, he looks really determined to get to this place. If you want, we can just escort him to the cathedral, and let him be." West Virginia turns back to me. "I'm sorry, but Junior can be really cranky about this stuff. We'll figure out what happens, and if you want to leave the party, you can do that any time."Bookmark here

I just want to get back to the border world as soon as possible.Bookmark here

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind. So, what's your plan? You're training me first, we go to Black Valley, and go to St. Petersburg. Is that it?"Bookmark here

"Unless you want to go to SMITHW, yeah, I guess that's a plan."Bookmark here

"Okay, sounds simple enough. I'll join you guys, and start training."Bookmark here

West Virginia grabs me and cheers. Junior R lets out a groan, and Katerina remains indifferent.Bookmark here

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It's not a definite plan, but I am just hoping this can work. If I can get to St. Petersburg Cathedral, I can join a prayer ritual, and pray to the Gods. According to what I can remember, we have a prayer communications center in the border world. More prayers of the same type get stronger communication, and the Gods will answer accordingly. It's a weird process, but basically, I need to somehow get my prayer across, and somehow get the Gods to bring me back to the world. From there, I have to deal with Printer Hatecraft. For now though, I am putting on my new gear, and setting out for training.Bookmark here

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