Isekai

He groaned himself awake. His head felt as if a hammer was trying to form it into a brain-like shape again and his limbs ached. What had happened to him? Was this a hangover? From not drinking alcohol? The memory blackout was there, and the rest of the symptoms …

It was cold. A bit too cold. Apparently he hadn’t even made it into bed.

Please be at home at least.

He opened his eyes. That was definitely not his home. That was … not even anywhere he knew. If he had collapsed on his way home, he should’ve either been on asphalt with parked cars greeting him, or maybe a hospital with white walls and then he should be in a bed with white and warm sheets. But how had he gotten onto a marble floor?

Maybe he had died and this was supposed to be heaven? He sat upright and looked around. The cold smell of incense and the faint sound of music were signs in favor of him being in heaven. That it was cold and there were more bodies strewn on the floor around him, told a completely different story.

Were the other people dead? That would definitely rule out heaven. Or could you die in the afterlife? That was an interesting concept that he should think on another time. He took a closer look at the other bodies. They didn’t have any injuries and, judging from their steadily rising and falling stomachs, they were also breathing. So they were probably just unconscious. The possibility of being in haven was back in play.

Closest to him were a man and a woman, hugging each other closely. The man was probably around twenty years of age, had short, black hair and complexion that hinted at him being outside pretty often. A white t-shirt, a brown leather jacket and leather trousers made him look like a wanna-be gangster. Someone who had forgotten that he’d need tattoos and a scar to fit the bill a bit better. A shadow on his angular face said that he’d shaved roughly a day ago.

Okay, definitely not heaven!

The girl in his arms seemed to be around sixteen years of age. A short black skirt hugged her thighs, her legs were kept warm with a pantyhose and she wore high-heeled boots. A white blouse, a bit of makeup and two earrings told him that she was trying to look good. Whether it was for the other guy or herself, he couldn’t say. With that getup, she wasn’t his type at all.

Nope, angels were supposed to dress differently. Still not heaven!

A bit off to the side was a man in his thirties. He wore his black hair down to his shoulders but had it bound into a ponytail. He hadn’t shaved for a few days and stubble had appeared on his face. Combined with his outfit, some scale mail and an ax, he looked rather like he was a poor excuse of a dwarf. Maybe he had been part of a Live-Action-Role-Play before somehow ending up here. He was sporting some impressive abs though. Maybe he really had a role model in a typical dwarf.

Behind him was another person. High-heels, blue jeans, a white turtleneck sweater and hair that went down to the small of her back. She was probably the same age as the fake dwarf. With glasses she’d fit the typical picture of an office-worker. A thick purse at her side probably contained all sorts of useful things. Like tissues. He felt a sneeze coming on and suppressed it.

Now I’m sure. This is not heaven.

He didn’t know any of them. But if he hadn’t died, then where was he? And who was crazy enough to kidnap someone like him? A breeze cut through the room and he shivered. Wherever he was, the place had no windows. The dome above was held by several marble columns and beyond that … There was no city. No streets. Just rolling hills and mountains in the distance that disappeared partly behind clouds. Wherever he was … this was not his country anymore.

He turned around at the creaking sound of two double doors opening. It was the only wall the building had. Was this some temple built on top of a mountain? Since he hadn’t been interested in monasteries at all, he had no idea where he was.

A tall man with clean-shaven head and brown robes stood in the door. The robes were bound with a brown sash at his hips and he thought he had seen some sandals below the cloth. A stereotypical monk. This place really looked like a typical monastery. He squinted his eyes. But why would monks kidnap him? Or anyone for that matter?

“Welc-”

“Where the heck are we?” A voice cut the monk off. The young man of the couple had awoken and rubbed his head.

“Let me start once again,” the monk said. His voice was still calm, and there was a … no, actually, his face was stoic and without emotion. “Welcome to the temple of Luaria. You are the first to awaken after being summoned.”

“The what now?” The temple of Luaria? Granted, he didn’t know all religions, but if she had a temple, then he at least should have heard of her.

“The temple of Luaria,” the monk repeated. “Which is located in the province of Exia, in the Kingdom of Kohren.”

He sneezed. Of course he couldn’t keep it suppressed forever.

Okay, not heaven, but not earth either. Unless this is some very elaborate ploy.

“I don’t care where this is. I need to get back to New York. I have a date this evening! Please call a cab!” The youngster got up and ignored his girlfriend, who started to groan. Well, if he had a date with her, then he might need to look for a new location. If not, then he was a two-timing asshole.

“You can’t go back. At least not yet,” the monk answered stoically. “I will answer any more questions as soon as everyone is awake.”

Was this some kind of hidden camera event? Or maybe “The new Big Brother, Monastery Edition?” He looked around, hoping to find some kind of camera or another. Then again … these people knew how to hide cameras. At least they needed him to sign something, before they could use the footage.

“Wait a moment,” he whispered more to himself than to anyone, but that seemed to trigger the youth.

“What’s up, old man? Are you responsible for all of this?” The youngster was far too close for comfort. With a push he was at least at arm’s length. “Hey! What's your problem?”

“What's your problem?” he shot back, hoping that someone more reasonable would wake soon enough. “I was just wondering what language you were speaking.”

“Have you hit your head, or what?”

Please, someone else. Wake up now!

“What’s going on, Tommy?”

At the sound of the new voice the youth was out of his face and next to his girlfriend.

“Don’t worry, deary,” he said in a soothing tone. “I’m sure all of this is a misunderstanding. We’re home soon.” The way he cared about her belied the behavior he had shown just moments ago.

“Has anyone noted the license plate of that truck?” the pseudo dwarf asked and slowly got up. “That was one hell of a ride. Where are we?”

“Now that all of you are awake,” the monk said slowly, “let me tell you why you are here.” There was a small pause in the monk’s speech. Almost as if he waited for all of them to turn their attention to him. “You have been summoned to this world to complete a task only you can complete.”

The story got even more ridiculous. This had to be some kind of television prank. Or maybe he was asleep. He hit his cheek and felt the sting of pain. Maybe not a dream?

“That sounds like a quest worthy of Torvald Greysword, accomplished warrior of the Mountain Dwarves.”

There was a loud slap, and his forehead stung all of a sudden. Maybe that facepalm was a bit too hard, but it was worth it. The pseudo dwarf apparently had been on a LARP before appearing here. He had to give him credit though. He kept playing his role. But what had they drugged them with that they had no recollection of getting here?

“Your opponent is the goddess Saesquar,” the monk continued. “The dark lady has amassed quite a following and has managed to steal some of Luaria’s powers. Luaria herself is not powerful enough to deal with the dark one, and has therefore ordered us to summon the chosen ones from another world.”

How could someone sound as if he was reading from a script, and at the same time as if he was more on the side of ‘the dark lady’ than on the one he was supposed to worship? He shook his head. Time to test the dream theory again. Maybe a slap wasn’t enough. Maybe he really had to pinch his cheek … Outch.

“And how are we supposed to fight that dark lady of yours?” the pseudo dwarf asked. He even managed to emulate stereotypical dwarf-speech. He probably could’ve played Gimli from Lord of the Rings.

“You come from another world,” the monk continued. “Thus you are not bound by the beliefs of this world. You are not bound by our gods. You are bound only to your gods. Borrowing their power is the key to overpowering Saesquar and restoring Luaria’s rule.”

“God almighty taught us through Jesus that violence is not the answer.” The office lady stepped forward, her hands folded as if in prayer.

“Yeah! It seems our old geezer doesn’t want to get involved in your little feud. And neither do we,” Tommy declared. “Now, call the cab!”

“As I told you before: I can’t sent you back. That is not within our lady’s power. If you want to return, you have to fulfill the task you’ve been summoned to do.”

“What will you do, if our god won’t come to our aid?” It was a valid concern. He didn’t believe in god, and if there was no god, there wasn’t anyone who could aid them in this ridiculous task. The show writers really needed to get their shit together.

“I am sure he will,” the monk answered.

“Why?”

“Because every god is bound to protect his people.” With that he turned around, signaling that the discussion was over. “Please, follow me.”

The pseudo dwarf looked at them and shrugged. Then he followed the monk. The office lady was next.

This was a ridiculous scenario. But maybe these two were right, and the faster they got through all of this, the faster they could get back home. To enjoy a nice long weekend. He ruffled his short hair, then followed as well.

“Hey! What’s with the cab?” he heard Tommy’s voice, but ignored it.

“Let’s just follow them.” The soft voice of the girlfriend tried to persuade the other youth. “Maybe cooperation will get us home faster.”

So that girl had had the same thought.