A Giant Problem

The dragon soared higher, beyond the clouds, dodging a torrent of spells. Fireballs, arcane bolts, icy shards, and some others Paddy couldn't identify started raining up from below. His heart pounded as he stared down at the shrinking world beneath.

The sky up there was something else, brilliant hues of violet and gold tangled together, the distant horizon stretching endlessly. There were not many words to describe it… other than beautiful.

Paddy: "Well, I’ll be…"

A sudden gust of wind slammed into him, and reality snapped back.

Paddy: "Ah, thank God I got over my fear of heights!!!"

Then, in true Paddy fashion, he started yelling at the dragon.

Paddy: "You big overgrown bastard! What the hell do you think you’re doing? Tossing me about! You’re a menace, that’s what you are. I swear, you’re lucky I’m not as big as you are!"

The dragon moved its eyes slowly, and fixed Paddy with a look that was equal parts amused and exasperated like it fully understood every word he had just spoken.

A smoky snort escaped the beast. Without warning, the dragon let go of the lamp he had in his mouth.

Paddy: "FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!-"

He screamed, plunging through the air.

Wind howled in his ears as he plummeted, scrambling to grab anything.

He glanced back just in time to see the dragon swooping down. Wings wide, eyes narrowed, and headed straight for him like a comet.

Paddy: "Oh, this is it. That’s the end!"

Suddenly, a massive hand shot out of the clouds, catching him mid-fall with the gentleness of a parent picking up their child.

Paddy blinked up, stunned. Towering above him was a giant, a mountain of muscle and earth, eyes as deep as caves, and a grin that looked like it could crack boulders.

Giant: "You alright there, old timer?"

Before he could answer, the dragon, still zooming in for the finish, got a fist slammed right in its snout.

WHAM!

The dragon spiralled backwards, tumbling through the sky. Paddy blinked as the beast vanished over the horizon, leaving a trail of smoke and stunned silence.

The giant chuckled, holding Paddy steady in one hand.

Giant: "You’re lucky I’m in a good mood… and that I absolutely loathe those beasts."

Paddy adjusted his coat, trying to act cool while secretly grateful.

Paddy: "Well, thanks. That was a bit… dramatic for my taste."

The giant gave a slow nod, eyes twinkling.

Then, without another word, he lowered Paddy to the ground.

The path was full of adventurers who’d just seen a man plummet from the sky. But now all eyes were on something else.

Even the prince stood frozen. Paddy followed their gaze upward and realised with a chill, this wasn’t just big. This was a legend. Giants weren’t supposed to be common anymore.

The giant glanced down at the dozens of gawking faces, and smiled faintly.

Giant: "...Afternoon."

Half the crowd let out a scream. He simply stepped over them and walked away into the distance.

The three of them stood in the giant’s fading shadow. Balloon brushed herself off. Paddy stared at the sky. The prince cleared his throat.

Dermott: "…It looks like we won’t be getting any evidence for defeating it then…"

…

They stood there in awkward silence.

...

Dermott: "Don’t worry, people!"

He suddenly shouted, throwing his arms wide.

Dermott: "I, the Summoned Hero, have defeated the dragon! And it was I who brought forth the giant to protect us!"

…

The crowd erupted in cheers. Adventurers clapped him on the back. Someone tossed him into the air, and before Paddy knew it, the prince was crowd-surfing his way toward the town like a victorious rock star.

Paddy: "…They know that he’s lying, right? I mean… they saw the dragon get punched."

Balloon: "Sure. But the truth’s boring. This way, they get a parade.."

They watched the celebration fade into the distance.

Balloon sighed, grabbed Paddy’s lamp, and dropped it to the ground. With a lazy hop, she stepped on it like a skateboard, grabbed him by the back of the collar, and glided smoothly home.

They came gliding into the street outside their HQ.

She let him drop the last few inches with a thud.

Paddy: "You could’ve… y’know… set me down gently."

Balloon: "And miss that sound you make when you hit cobbles? Nah."

Paddy walked into the doorway, glancing around the cluttered room filled with half-finished boards, tools scattered everywhere, and Boner furiously scribbling diagrams on the slate.

Paddy: "So… how’re the skateboards coming along then?"

The skeleton didn’t even look up.

Boner: "You haven’t been gone that long! What did you expect? A miracle?"

Jak shrugged, tossing a small wooden wheel across the room.

Jak: "We’re working on it, boss. Sorta."

Paddy gave a theatrical sigh, kicked off his boots, and dropped himself flat on the floor with a thump.

Paddy: "Well, I’m exhausted. That’s enough 'work' for one day."

The gang exchanged amused looks as Paddy closed his eyes.

Jak: "You reckon he’s actually gonna get anything done?"

Balloon grinned, shaking her head.

Balloon: "With him? Depends on whether someone else builds it first."

Suddenly, the whole building shook.

A deep rumble rolled through the streets, rattling windows and sending loose tools clattering to the floor.

Jak froze mid-swing with a hammer.

Jak: "What the hell was that?!"

Outside, the distant roar of chaos grew louder, mixing with screams and the clang of metal being crushed.

Paddy sat up, eyes wide with a small bit of rage.

Paddy: "I can't get a simple rest... for two minutes!"

The group rushed to the windows and looked out over the street. Traders, townsfolk, and adventurers alike were running. Some screaming, others pushing carts or clutching whatever valuables they could grab.

The distant rumble grew louder, shaking the very air. Balloon’s eyes narrowed.

Balloon: "That’s no ordinary disturbance."

Without a word, Paddy grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

Paddy: "...Let’s just see what kind of mess we’re dealing with."

They followed swiftly, spilling out into the streets. Together, they sprinted toward the city gates, and burst onto the plains outside the city walls.

Ahead, the sight stole their breath.

A gigantic, glistening green slime writhed across the grasslands, inching closer with relentless purpose.

It wasn’t chasing anyone.

Instead, it sloshed forward like a massive blob of living jelly, its surface shimmering with swallowed metal. Rusty swords, broken helmets, iron bits, all sucked into its gelatinous belly with wet, squelching sounds.

Villagers and guards alike were scattered behind them, fleeing the relentless advance.

Paddy’s eyes widened as the slime grew closer and his stomach tightened. 

He realised that it was the same slime he had let get away days ago, on his first quest. There were now beads of sweat forming on his brow.

Balloon: "You alright? You look like you just saw a ghost."

He cleared his throat, trying to play it cool.

Paddy: "Oh, no, no. Nothing. Just... admiring its size, that’s all."

Jak raised an eyebrow.

Jak: "Admiring it!? Seriously, boss? But I’ll admit… you’ve got balls, I’ll give you that!"

A nearby voice carried over the crowd.

Adventurer: "Who let one get this big!?" 

Murmurs turned into shouts as blame spread like wildfire.

Paddy shifted uncomfortably, glancing around.

Paddy: "Well... uh... someone’s gotta deal with it now, right?"

Balloon smirked.

Balloon: "Yeah, Paddy. Looks like you’re it."

The tension thickened as the slime swallowed up everything metallic in its path, inching ever closer to the city walls.