The Ginger Death
A week after getting in contact with his allies Haji walks up to a Starbucks outdoor area as he thinks "Augh, Censored, that hacker would insist on a face to face in public before he'd help with my current plans..."
As he gets closer he sees the person he's looking for sitting there like nothing else is happening in the world nonchalantly sipping a cafe latte as the waitress brings over a large cup and says "The cold brew catnip tea you ordered."
"Augh... Why would he go ordering a cold brew catnip tea!?" Haji thinks stunned at what he just heard before casually approaching and jumping on the table and seeing a tablet next to the Cold Brew Catnip Tea before taping the tablet causing it to light up revealing an app is open that will allow him to communicate before typing a message that reads "Why did you have to pick such a place as this?"
Haji's ally giggles calmly before whispering "When Isi got said you were alive I wasn't surprised but when he said you'd been reborn as a cat I seriously thought he was trolling me, seriously, who would believe something like that would happen to you of all people Hitoshi."
"Censored, I'm not telling him my new name." Haji thinks as he quietly licks up some of his tea before typing a message that reads "If you don't mind I'd like to skip the jokes, I have a serious issue to discuss, namely the fuzzball in the alley 100 metres behind me."
Haji's ally looks to the location Haji mentioned and spots Mittens before whispering "What did you do to anger that guy, Hitoshi or do you prefer Haji?"
"Who knows why he's got a bug up his Censored but all I can think of is eating his food once." Haji replies via the tablet between licks of tea before licking the tea while sending a message via the tablet which reads "Also... Don't call me Haji!! I hate that name and the guy that gave it to me!!"
"Augh, if only cats could legally change their own names without their humans' help..." Haji continues after stopping licking at his tea before looking back at the Alley and meeting Mittens eyes deliberately letting him know he knew he was there causing Mittens to run away and hide somewhere before he uses the tablet to say "Once we're done here let rocks for brains know I said I wanna do what we did with the CEO with Mittens but I want something more creative than that time if you know what I mean."
"Ah, that trick is it?" Haji's ally replies curiously before drinking the last of his cafe latte and digging out his wallet as he says "Well it's been fun Hitoshi, I'll pass the message along to Isi about the plan for this Mittens guy."
After hearing that Haji finishes as much of his catnip tea as he can before saying "Gotcha, I appreciate the tea Yukio."
"I'll pay the check before I go, try not to get caught again by that cop, you may be a cat but they might execute you twice." Yukio replies as he pulls out the money for the bill before putting it under his mug and saying "You should get going before they come for the money."
Haji nods before he turns and jumps down from the table and runs into an alley before Yukio says "I've left the money under my mug, keep the change!"
"That guy never changes." Haji thinks as he walks through the alley having stopped running once out of sight and checked for any sign of Mittens before continuing by thinking "Most people would never guess he was a self made billionaire cheated out of his fortune by his fathers legitimate son only to ruin both of them and become filthy stinking rich."
As Haji finds his way to the main road and heads for the train station Haji thinks "That guy gives even me the creeps some times, he not only destroyed his brother and father financially but got me to seduce his sister and convince her to murder the rest of the family before I killed her."
"That woman was a knockout in the looks department and that personality she was hiding, if she weren't a target I might have kept her as my woman." Haji thinks maniacally as he sneaks into the train station and onto a train headed back to his part of the city as he thinks "That said, Yukio is not someone I'd want to cross, he may play the good boy and generally convince everyone he's a hero but it's all an act, he's a killer as prolific as me."
"We met while both after the same target, seriously, I thought scenes like that when two killers run into each other while hunting the same prey only happened in cheesy Manga!" Haji thinks as he dodges the security camera trying to find his way to the train back to his part of town before thinking "Then as our agreement as killers he asked me to off his relatives and said I could use whatever dirty methods got the job done."
After finding his way to the train and sneaking on Haji thinks "Just remembering his face when he found out I was going to seduce his sister and make it look like a murder suicide, it gives me such chills I'd not dare remember it on a train if I were still human for fear of giving myself away."
"While looking into that family as part of putting my strategy together I found there's been at least five generations of Serial Killers in that family who were better than me." Haji thinks as he hears his station's name called on the intercom before getting ready to get off as he thinks "Frankly, if that guy wanted me dead I'd be dead again faster than I could say dead."
As the doors open, Haji gets the shock of his life when he sees Ichiro standing on the platform seemingly waiting for someone as he hides behind the edge of the door as he thinks "CENSORED!! What timing, why did he have to be here at the train station now of all times!?"
Haji slowly backs up deep into the crowd attempting to hide from Ichiro before getting a familiar feeling and looking behind him and sees Mittens standing about 10ft back from him near the back of the train car and thinks "Mittens!!? How the hell did that Censored get on the train!!?"
As Haji stands there shocked at the sight of Mittens suddenly the alert sounds indicating that the door will be shutting causing Mittens to crouch like he's ready to make a move the moment Haji goes for the door.
Seeing what Mittens is plotting, Haji readies himself to act as he thinks "You Censored... I'm going to have to deal with you before long but for now I just need to ditch you."
As the doors begin to shut Haji jumps forward toward them causing Mittens to respond by pouncing on him but before Mittens can pin him down Haji uses a wrestling reversal to flip him over before kicking him out the doors.
As Mittens goes flying out the doors he watches Haji flip back onto his paws with the arrogant sneer of someone who is trying to say "I win!" and glares at him clearly pissed as he watches the doors close while uprighting his body in mid air and landing on his paws.
After the doors close and the train gets moving Haji thinks "That gets rid of that pain in the tail for now, now I just need to figure out how to get home from the next stop."
As the train intercom announces the name of the next station Haji thinks "Censored. Middle School Judo Team, High School as part of the Wrestling Team and College as part of the Karate Club then years of human life never needing it, if you told me back then I'd use it against a cat I'd have probably plotted your murder..."
"Augh..., these circumstances make for brutal irony, that evil god is probably laughing maniacally about this." Haji thinks as the train comes to a stop and the doors open before he runs out.
Three days after Haji's meeting with Yukio on the way to one of his safe houses Haji notices a familiar feeling behind him and checks a traffic mirror and sees Mittens following him and thinks "That censored cat!! He's following me again!!"
Haji heads into an open field with Mittens following before Haji loses him in the tall grass and heads down to a river knowing Mittens will follow his scent and notices a certain plant nearby and jumps on a rock in the middle of the water to avoid the plant before working his way across the stones to the other side of the river thinking "If that's what species of plant I think it is then he's in for a bad day."
Haji watches from the other shore as Mittens looks around for him and gets dangerously close to the plant Haji was wary of before Haji sticks his head out and goes "Nya!" at Mittens thinking "Now to let him know where I am!"
After Mittens hears Haji's "Nya" he jumps out of the long grass brushing against the plant on the way and lands on one of the stones before jumping to the next but as soon as he lands on it freaks out and starts rolling around on the stone as his fur seems to smoke where he brushed against the plant while he screams in pain as Haji watches thinking "Hah! Fool didn't know to watch out for Giant Poisonous Hogweed!"
After realising he's given himself some time, Haji runs off into the grass and heads off to a safe house but exits quickly after a few minutes before heading in the direction of a construction site.
After sneaking into the construction site Haji uses a mirror on a construction vehicle in front of him and sees Mittens has recovered enough to power through the pain of the sun on his blistering skin and is now following him again as Haji thinks "That Censored is as tough as nails to not be hiding until dark after getting that sap on his skin."
Haji walks through the construction site knowing full well Mittens is behind him as he walks into the building being built and finds his way to the stairs as he thinks "Go on, keep following me for a bit, I'll make you wish you'd hidden under a parked car until dark..."
Mittens follows Haji into the building with a look like he's just waiting for an opportunity to attack Haji all the while forgetting he's in a construction site as Haji thinks "This fool may be stealthy but he's still just a cat, I can make this guy regret he wasn't a human in his previous life as easily as he catches mice."
Haji heads up the stairs of the building all the way up to the highest constructed part of the stairs knowing Mittens is following him and sees a pile of eye beams tied together with cables and attached to a crane's hook and thinks "Perfect! I was hoping for a temporary elevator with someone about to go down on it but this is just as good!"
Before Mittens can catch up without getting closer than he thinks is a distance at which Haji will notice him, Haji notices the cables on the eye beams tightening and runs over and gets on them avoiding letting Mittens see where he went.
As the Eye Beams lift off and move to midair and begin to descend to a lower floor for use in an unfinished part of the building Haji thinks "With this I can ditch that moronic feline again and he'll probably spend three hours wandering around wondering where I went!"
As soon as the Eye Beams reach their intended floor Haji jumps off and runs toward the stairs thinking "This should allow me to carry out my plan without issue!"
No sooner than he thinks that he hears the sound of paws coming down the stairs and thinks "Censored! That Censored actually figured it out quicker than I thought!"
After hearing the sound of Mittens coming down the stairs Haji runs down the stairs as fast as he can thinking "Censored!! If not for a cat’s sense of smell I'd be able to ditch that censored for a bit!"
Haji rushes down the stairs as fast as he can but just before running down the last few bottom stairs jumps against the wall and kicks off and lands on all fours a good distance in a direction he couldn't just run at without reducing speed and starts running off out of the building.
After managing to exit the building Haji jumps on the back of a truck leaving the construction site and watches Mittens furiously chase him like a truck chasing dog in response to which Haji Sneers at him thinking "You'll never keep up with a truck at such a low speed you looser!"
As Haji watches Mittens chase the truck with a look of rage like a cat possessed and not falling far behind the truck as it drives, Haji looks on in bewilderment as he thinks "Just how is he keeping up!?"
"Wait! Cats can run at 48kph and this is a 50kph zone!" Haji realises with a look of utter shock remembering how fast cats can run before hearing the sounds of construction ahead before turning around ready to make a move as he thinks "Censored! Why did there have to be construction on this road today!!??"
As the truck rolls to a gentle stop Mittens runs up on the truck and jumps onboard expecting Haji to be helpless but instead lands face first in a ripped bag of concrete mix before seeing Haji jumping over the front of the truck and onto the road as Haji thinks "That ought to keep you off my back for a minute, that stuff gets in everywhere!"
After jumping off of the truck Haji runs into a nearby alley with Mittens not far behind as he thinks "So still on my tail huh? Fine, keep following me, I'll just have to carry out my plan with you following me then!"
Haji runs through the alley until he hits the main road and runs across the road just before the lights change, leaving Mittens to watch angrily as Haji runs off along the main streets with traffic between Mittens and Haji.
After Haji manages to put some distance between him and Mittens, Haji looks for a specific landmark and upon seeing a certain sign thinks "Perfect, I'm exactly where I thought I was!"
As soon as he sees the sign and hears Mittens coming again he heads into an alley next to the sign and runs up a set of fire escape stairs as Mittens follows while thinking "Go on, follow me, your day is going to only get worse from here!"
As soon as Haji reaches the roof he runs across a cable to a neighbouring roof as Mittens watches having reached the top of the stairs with a look of confusion and mild tiredness.
After seeing which direction Haji went he looks at him as though his stamina is running low and he's wondering how Haji isn't exhausted and what he's up to.
As Haji begins walking along the wire with relative ease Mittens looks bewildered at the sight of him managing to walk on the cable so effortlessly.
After regaining his breath Mittens walks over and glares at Haji who is now on the other roof with a look like he's determined to get across even if it takes all day going slowly.
After resolving himself to cross the wire Mittens manages to work his way to about the halfway point barely avoiding flinching at light breezes three times before noticing Haji glaring at him ominously with his paw on a paw sized lever attached to an extremely sharp blade right above the cable.
Mittens looks at Haji in utter shock and terror realising he's literally walked right into a trap as Haji sneers at him pushing down on the lever cutting the cable.
As the cable falls out from beneath Mittens Haji looks at him with his sneer still intact as he thinks "Farewell... Mittens..."
As Mittens falls toward the ground he looks like he's sure he's going to die but suddenly gets caught in a perfectly positioned net and realises that this was the plan as suddenly a man in a nearby window shuts the top saying "Gotcha Mittens!"
As soon as he realises he's been captured Mittens flips out and starts kicking, hissing, spitting and screaming as loud and violently as he can while trapped in the net.
As Haji watches the whole thing from above he looks at Mittens and thinks "Exactly as planned!"
Upon Mittens being taken inside the window Haji remembers the email from when he was in his safe house that read "We've finished the preparations, lure the target to the location marked on the map and use the trap from the pic, after that we'll take it from there and deliver Mittens to his buyer." and thinks "This couldn't have gone more perfectly if I were still human!"
"That Censored will soon be meeting the human who will be the bane of his existence, he'll wish I'd been merciful enough to just kill him soon enough!!" Haji thinks as he giggles maniacally before turning to the fire escape stairs ready to head home but sees Yukio standing by the stairs and thinks "On second thought, I guess I'll take this opportunity to get some more prep work in for some murders!"
After seeing him Haji walks over to Yukio with a look like he wants to talk as Yukio puts a tablet on the ground next to him as Haji approaches.
"This went better than expected even after Mittens showed up early." Haji types on the tablet causing it to read his message out loud for him before he types "So what kind of twisted freak did you find as the buyer for that fury little censored punk?"
"Haha! You're right, when I saw Mittens following you on my drone camera I was worried a bit and that car chase was like something out of a manga!" Yukio laughs with an amused look on his face as he looks at Haji before saying "I found an eccentric old geezer in the countryside with a clingy granddaughter and a private army to go with their massive family estate, he'll hate it!"
"Hah! I knew you'd come up with something diabolical Yukio! Lol Lol Lol" Haji writes on the tablet before it reads it out loud with a strong curl in his tail before typing "Mittens fate aside I'm planning to kill the annoying Human I'm living with but I also want to get a start on my list, got any info or willing to help with carrying out the murders?"
"I do have some intel available actually." Yukio replies with an enthusiastic tone and a sinister look on his face as he replies "As soon as I heard you were still kicking I knew you'd want my help so I got to gathering information on your most likely targets!"
"Good to hear, I figured you'd be prepared before I brought it up!" Haji replies via the tablet with the curl in his tail getting stronger before loosening as he types "So what kind of job do you want me to do in return?"
"As always you're straight to the point when it comes to our shared hobby!" Yukio replies with the look of someone plotting something truly evil before he says "As you've no doubt guessed I'm in need of you to get something done, I'll tell you what in an email in a few days."
"Got it, I'll wait for the email before I act then." Haji replies with the Tablet before saying "Before I forget to mention it, this app is easily some of your best work, I could barely get by with the alterations I made to the settings on my computers but your app made it a piece of cake to communicate and get stuff done."
"Hahaha! Not every day you receive such high praise from a cat!" Yukio replies ecstatic from the humorousness of receiving praise from a cat despite their image as being nigh impossible to impress before getting a somewhat more serious look and saying "Any need for me to arrange for you to get a ride home? It is a long way from here to where you've been living!"
"Not a good idea, that detective has been sniffing around and is suspicious of me as is." Haji replies via the tablet before looking seriously at Yukio and saying "As I said in previous emails, he's been keeping his eye on me and I'm also pretty sure he may suspect I'm not the harmless ball of fluff I look like, he's also found that safe house Mittens attacked me in so caution is a must."
"Gotcha, if that guy's on to you then we may need to kill him in some way before too long." Yukio replies with a cold and sinister tone and a look like he's already writing Ichiro's Obituary before saying "If he gets suspicious about Mittens let me know and I'll put things in motion so that we can end him when you give the word."
After hearing that Haji nods and runs down the stairs thinking "Good to know he still has my back even now that I'm a cat, but if I miss tonight's episode of my favourite show because of that cop, helping me with Mittens ambush won't save him from my wrath!"
After Haji gets home entering through the cat flap he heads straight to his food bowl and starts eating while thinking "Getting rid of one's enemies is hungry work!"
"I just wish Yasuo would order me some food more in line with my tastes." Haji thinks eating his food without realising Yasuo is walking up behind him as he thinks "It's not like I'm expecting something out of a cooking Manga but something with Tuna or turkey would be nice."
While he's eating Yasuo suddenly reaches out and pets Haji while saying "Have a fun time hunting mice my little Haji!?"
Upon realising Yasuo was behind him Haji nearly chokes on his food and jumps behind the fridge out of shock as he thinks "WHEN THE CENSORED DID HE GET THERE!!!???"
As Haji hides behind the fridge he looks at Yasuo completely freaked out as he thinks "Seriously!! Put a bell on you Ninja!!"
Upon seeing Haji's reaction Yasuo looks completely apologetic as he says "Sorry Haji, I forgot you don't like it when I'm all touchy with you!"
After he calms down Haji looks at Yasuo with a seriously annoyed look as he thinks "Augh, I REALLY wish I wasn't living with someone so touchy, I'd really prefer someone who knows the meaning of the words 'Personal Space' for a housemate."
"Guess I'll go find somewhere to take a nap until it's time for my show!" Haji thinks as he bolts out from behind the fridge and runs into the hallway but suddenly stops when he hears the sound of Yasuo opening the fridge door before looking around and seeing him taking out a pudding before turning back to the hall and continuing to head off looking for a suitable spot for his nap as he thinks "Guess he was just after a sweet treat, must be on another Death March to meet a deadline."
"That aside, if he calls me 'little Haji' just one more time the next deadline he meets will be his last!" Haji thinks as he finds himself a nice quiet spot and settles in before thinking "Augh, that censored nickname makes me want to hack up a hairball every time I hear it!"
To Be Continued