Macaroni Dreams — Meilin

We boarded a horse cart over to Tian Cheng.

“We didn’t get to ski on the snowy mountains…”, Himari whined while stretching her arms.

Yulan chuckled, “To be honest, I don’t think the snow mountains of Becher are as good as they sound.”

“Eh?” Himari still looked upset.

“Last time I went to one of them, I almost froze to death. The snow gets in your eyes, and your clothes get all wet. It really is not as good as it sounds.”

“Even a warrior like you gets cold, nya?” Haruki mewed, his tail swishing back and forth.

“Cat, I’m a warrior, not a superhuman,” Yulan said teasingly.

I always get a warm feeling whenever they chat like that. It’s a fuzzy and delightful feeling in my stomach. I’ve never been happier. I could remember the times Haokei chatted with her friends to distract them from ridiculing me. I’ve always thought of Haokei as my savior, keeping my classmates at a safe distance so that I wouldn’t get hurt.

That was the main reason why I didn’t want to return to Earth. Now that Haokei is gone, I’ll only have myself to rely on to escape from their harassment.

I wanted to see Haokei again. She saved me from ridicule; she didn’t deserve such a cruel fate.

“Look, look, Meilin!” Himari pointed at the scenery outside, “It’s a field of orchids!”

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Yulan tucked her hair behind her ear. “It reminds me of home already.”

Himari turned to Yulan, “Oh, right. You came from Tian Cheng, right? Meilin told me a bit about it, but she’s not really the best storyteller. No offense, Meilin. So could you tell me a bit more about it?”

Yulan seemed a bit overwhelmed by Himari’s enthusiasm, but quickly adjusted as the two of them chatted like old best friends.

This horse cart felt significantly more comfortable than the one we rode from Kazemura to Becher. It had vivid, red cushions for our seats, with curtains covering the front of the carriage.

The carriage swayed gently, lulling me into sleep. The world faded.

When my eyes fluttered open, I saw:

The same white ceiling, the same brown floorings, and the same set of lights that flies would fly in circles around.

I was home.

“Mom?” I exclaimed, walking around the living room.

My nose twitched as I smelt the lovely smell coming from the kitchen. Mom’s macaroni soup with ham! My stomach grumbled. I was starving. The proper last meal I had was lunch in the tavern.

Wait…tavern?

What tavern?

My memories of Elysium had become increasingly blurry, and the more I tried to retrieve them, the blurrier they became.

Moreover, the appetizing aroma entered through my nostrils. I can’t wait to taste the macaroni—

Mom left the kitchen, holding two bowls in her hands.

“Mom, let me help you with that—”

She passed me without uttering a word and laid the dishes in the places where my dad and I usually sat.

Perhaps I had been too drawn to the food; I didn’t notice the tears welling up in her eyes.

Forcing a smile, my mother sat down in her usual spot and stared at the empty seats. “Good morning. I made breakfast today. These are the macaroni you love to eat, Meilin. I hope both of you enjoy it.” She bit her lip, tears rolling down her face and dripping onto the table.

“Go on. Eat up.” Mom picked up a spoon and fed it to the air with shaking hands. “I’m so glad we finally got to eat together again.”

Then, she wasn't able to take it and wailed out in despair.

I remember now.

“I’m sorry, Meilin. I’m sorry for pushing you so hard. I’m sorry I’m unable to maintain a good relationship with your father. So please…enjoy this meal. You have to go to school soon.”

I noticed my perfectly ironed uniform hanging on the doorknob.

A mother who had lost her child. She couldn’t accept this cruel fate and continued to live on, imagining her family still existed. Imagining everything was okay. But it was not. It was all a lie. They were no longer with her. But she refused to believe that.

Before I knew it, tears started pouring out of my eyes as well. And I sobbed alongside my mother.

I didn’t know what to do anymore.

I miss Earth.

But I don't know why I would live if Haokei weren't there anymore.

I woke up as a ray of sunshine shone in my eyes.

My body trembled, and I touched my cheeks, realizing they’re still wet. I was lying on someone’s lap, and that someone was gently caressing my hair.

I opened my eyes and saw Yulan, with her hair let down. She was humming softly, her gaze soft and gentle.

“You’re finally awake.” Yulan smiled, gently stroking my forehead.

When Yulan ties up her hair like she usually does, she embodies the role of a warrior. But when her hair is let down, it reveals a softer, kinder side of her that resembles a loving mother.

Yulan murmured that Himari had been worried sick about me. Himari was lying on the other side of the carriage, sleeping next to Haruki; both of them looked dead exhausted.

“But I just slept. Did something else happen?” I asked, confused about the situation.

Yulan frowned, “You were crying. You looked like you were in great pain, and you kept murmuring.” She wiped the remaining tears off my face. “You had a vision, didn’t you?”

“Yes. But it wasn’t such a big deal—”

“Himari had told me about how you weren’t from Elysium. You just arrived here around two weeks ago. Such a change must be difficult for you.”

Yulan’s eyes softened, as if she, too, knew the ache of losing a home, “You must miss the friends and family, as well as the environment back there.”

I’ve never really felt that way. Sure, I missed Haokei, and I missed my parents. But I don't miss school; I don’t miss the exhausting days hiding from Haokei’s friends.

“Not exactly.” I sighed, “I mean...Elysium is quite nice. It’s a vibrant and magical place.”

Yulan smiled, “That’s good to hear. However, leaving everything behind to start a new life is still a daunting task. It was a grueling experience when I first moved to Becher.”

I opened my mouth, then hesitated.

Usually, I wouldn’t share my troubles with others.

That will only make me a burden, and who knows if the person will use that information against me…

But this dark cloud had been hovering over my head ever since I left Earth.

And I knew Yulan was a person I could trust.