Crossing a line

No one answered me straight away.

“It's not a very nice thing to talk about,” said Toshi at last.

“I can image.” I smiled, perhaps a little too widely.

“Perhaps this should be a private conversation,” said Yua. “We all know but I can't imagine you want all of us staring at you the whole time.”

Would it be rude to agree with her straight away?

“I don't mind,” I said.

The sooner I found out more about Shizuka, the sooner I could figure how to deal with any obstructions between me and my chances of settling in this world. It was starting to feel less like a coma dream and more like I truly had been transported to a completely different universe. One that I felt like I might not mind existing in.

“Should I tell her?” suggested Kohaku, looking around at them all.

I didn't mind who told me, as long as they wouldn't skip out on the facts just to spare my feelings. Which ruled out both Tatsuya and Toshi too.

“Maybe I should -” began the fair haired dragon shapeshifter but Uchi cut him off.

“It's not safe for you to go back to Nippo because almost everyone there believes you're a murder,” she said. “And Ras wants you dead because you tried to kill him in the past.”

Damn. Way to not spare my feelings in the slightest. The air in my lungs suddenly lost quality and I turned towards Shizuka's guardian, who stood with her chin tilted upwards in a challenge. The welcome I had half hoped to see in her eyes glittered like suspicion. Now I knew why they had been hesitant to tell me more about Shizuka and why this apparent confirmation of her identity complicated things for them.

“Do you-” I hesitated and scanned the room for their current feelings prior to my question. “-think I'm a murderer?”

“No,” said Tatsuya straight away, his mild eyes momentarily less than human.

“Of course not,” exclaimed Toshi. “You heal people, not kill them.”

“You'd have to be crazy to think you, of all people, would murder someone,” said Washi. “Kohaku on the other hand-”

“Don't give me a reason to prove you right, boy,” said Shizuka's friend, smiling menacingly at him before turning back to me. “None of here believe you would ever do something like that.”

I glanced at Yua, who nodded solemnly in agreement before finishing her tea. Uchi didn't say anything, one eyebrow arched questioningly, and I wondered if she knew more about Shizuka's capabilities than she was willing to let on or if she just wasn't the expressive type. As much as I searched both of Shizuka's memories, I didn't feel any killer instinct within her. Did that mean she was innocent? And did that mean something had happened to change that part of her personality?

I searched my own memories and Alec's very punchable face floated to the front of my thoughts. I remembered pressing my thumb into the hollow of his throat after he tried to gaslight me about the severity of is betrayal and watching the panic bubble up in his eyes like boiling water in a saucepan. Had I been capable of murder at that point? I probably should have been worried about that being a question, even within the safe boundaries of my own thoughts.

“And what about Ras?” I asked. “Do you think I tried to kill him?”

“No one would blame you if you did,” muttered Kohaku, ignoring Yua's disapproving cough.

So he wasn't popular even before Shizuka died. That was something to ask about later.

“Ras is obviously still alive,” I said. “So who is it they think I killed?”

They all exchanged quick glances with each other. I turned to Uchi.

“Ten people at least,” she said, readjusting her shawl as she sat down next to Yua. “Possibly over thirty, many of whom were your own patients.”

I had already gathered that Shizuka was a healer of some kind but hadn't realised she ran her own show. Had she taken over the shop after Uchi had retired? Or had their paths split at some point? Either way, it seemed like she had been a well known doctor of some kind.

“Why?” I asked.

“Why those people?” said Yua. “We don't know. You died before anyone could find out.”

“No, I mean why does everyone else believe I'm guilty?” I gestured at them all stiffly. “You said it yourself. I was a healer, not a murderer. That it'd be crazy to think otherwise. Was the whole village already insane or something?”

I laughed shortly. The sound died in the stillness that followed my words. Tatsuya's gaze dropped to the floor, shifting only for a second to meet Washi's eyes as his brother placed a hand on his shoulder before lowering again.

“People were going missing from the village and no one could work out where they were going,” said Yua. “None of them ever came back and everyone was afraid that they would be next. They needed to answers or culprit to blame for their losses, and the day you died Ras had evidence that pointed to you.”

“What evidence?” I wanted to sit down but the balance of trust in the room wasn't as stable as I needed it to be and I couldn't risk disrupting it more.

“He said your other victims had notes,” growled Kohaku, folding her arms. “I told them to show me but no one would've believed me anyway, even if I had told them it wasn't your handwriting.”

“So they took his word for it because they needed someone to blame and it didn't matter if that person was the local healer, is that right?”

I couldn't deny that people on Earth often had the same mentality. Innocent people died simply because the masses wanted closure, even if the unveiled truth was dangerous.

“Unfortunately so,” said Yua.

I never expected gratitude from anyone. Not in my last life nor in this one. But surely this was crossing a line that everyone could see.

“It's because we're from Outer Town,” said Kohaku, her nose crinkled. “They were happy to forget where we came from and accept your help when they needed it, but when you needed them they were happy to forget all of that too.”

“And they still believe it because no one ever looked into afterwards.” A new thought washed away the settling effects of the lavender and Uchi's tea, and I swallowed hard. “Or is it because people stopped disappearing after Shi – after I died?”

“There were no more unexplained disappearances, Shizuka,” said Uchi. “And no more notes after we lost you.”

That made things difficult. Could someone have framed Shizuka for their own murders and then stopped after she was gone to keep the village off their scent? Ras, maybe, since he was the one who had conveniently been attacked and just happened to have notes written by her. Or was there someone else who had a grudge against her?

“Then why do you still –” My voice faltered and I paused until it was back under control. “What makes you all so sure that it wasn't me?”

“Because we know you, Shizuka,” said Tatsuya as he stepped forward. His earnest face blinded me like the sun and I blinked back tears. “And we're more than happy to help you learn who you are again, if you need us to.”

“I might have to take you up on that.” I laughed again and rubbed at my eyes quickly. They pretended not to notice but their mingled concern and affection told me otherwise. “Maybe you could start by telling me who you are.”

“Now?” asked Toshi, her own eyes watering as if she wanted to throw herself at me again.

“Whenever.” I shrugged. “It's not like I'm going anywhere any time soon, right?”

“Except back to the village,” said Yua.

“What? Really?” Had she already come up with a strategy to prove my innocence? Or was she hoping I had new evidence hidden somewhere under my sleeves? “We are?”

“Aoto and Yor will be waiting for us,” she said. “We need to come up with a plan together, and I'm sure they'd both love to talk to you too.”

“What about those Inquisitor people though? I thought they were after me,” I said, drying my palms on the front of my kimono. “Or does this have something to do with that dark magic stuff Ras was talking about?”

It seemed I had unintentionally shattered the atmosphere once again. Toshi's alarmed eyes shot straight to Kohaku, who in turn looked at Yua, as if the seated woman would offer her a verbal escape route. Tatsuya and Washi seemed both curious and confused. Uchi's growing fury, on the other hand, rumbled at the edges of the room like a distant storm.

“What dark magic stuff?” she asked coldly.

“It's nothing,” said Kohaku when Yua blinked slowly at her. “Ras was just saying anything to annoy me.”

“Oh?” Both of Uchi's eyebrows lifted. “Then why does Toshiko look like she just got caught stealing one of Yua's models?”

“No, I don't,” squeaked Toshi.

“You steal her models?” asked Kohaku, shaking her head. “I don't know why she looks like that but I'm telling you the truth. He said that after he saw Shizuka and he knows dark magic will get us in the most trouble.”

“You would do well to remember that, child,” said Uchi. “Magic is not something that should be wielded carelessly. The spirits that protect our world demand our respect. Using their energy without being invited to would be akin to stealing from a dragon that burn down our entire world.”

“I'd be upset if you stole my energy,” said Tatsuya solemnly, adding when Kohaku turned exasperated eyes on him. “I wouldn't burn your world down though. Not without asking questions first.”

“If anyone was going to use dark magic, it would have been him.” She pointed at the shape-shifter. “You saw how far he was willing to go to bring Shi-”

She stopped and, even though none of them looked at me directly, I knew what she had been about to say. I had felt it from the moment he had appeared before me. A desire that burned like dragon's breath hidden by fluffy clouds. Despite all his blushing, Tatsuya had appeared wearing armour and faint frown marks that revealed years of unhappiness, frustration, and the skill set needed to vent both on those he deemed appropriate.

“He did say it after he saw me,” I said, giving them all a legitimate reason to look in my direction. “Ras, I mean. He wouldn't have known what to make of my return any more than the rest of us, right? I can see why he'd jump to something as scary and wild as dark magic.”

“Did your world have dark magic too, Shizuka?” asked Uchi. The distance in her eyes chilled my blood. “You seem to be somewhat familiar with it.”

“Some people there believed in it,” I replied. “I wasn't one of them. But this world is another story and the sooner I learn more about it, the better for all of us.”

“You wish to know more about a world that has not yet accepted you?” She frowned.

“Of course.” I forced the corners of my mouth upwards. “After all, I haven't accepted it yet either.”

Toshi laughed, then coughed into her fist to avoid the old woman's glare. A smile erased the lines between Tatsuya's eyebrows but he didn't look straight at me the way he normally would have.

“We should go,” said Yua. “We have a lot to discuss but could I have a word with you before that, Uchi?”

“You may,” said Shizuka's guardian. “I'll back you some supplies while we talk.”

“I'll get the drion ready,” said Kohaku. “I need to make sure the wagon is safe enough for us to get back.”

“I'll help you,” said Washi, following her out of the front door.

“Toshi, if you're up for it, could you go back to Aoto's and tell them we're on our way back?” asked Yua. “If you're fast enough, you might catch them before they set off.”

“On it,” replied the energetic woman. She came over to me first. “I'll see you back in Nippo, okay?”

“See you there.” I nodded and considered raising a hand.

She hesitated before holding her arms out and I almost choked on her uncertainty.

“Is it okay if I hug you now?” she asked, looking even younger. “Before I go?”

Was everyone in this world that touchy or was Shizuka affiliated with a particularly clingy crowd? Either way, they were all very good at proving how touch starved I had been in my previous life. I spread my arms out and she wrapped her own around me, burying her face in my neck for a long second.

“I'm so glad you came back,” she murmured and I might have believed the sincerity that seemed to have rubbed her tone raw.

But her eyes lingered on Tatsuya as she waved at him and she didn't say good bye to anyone else in the group before disappearing on the spot. It was hard to work out how much my impression of her was stained by the person she reminded me of and what that meant about my opinion of Tatsuya. The door was already open and, though it rattled in the wake of her speed, it stayed that way.

“Let's wait outside,” he said, touching the back of my left upper arm as he passed me. “You look like you could do with some fresh air.”

“As long as it's not the free falling kind,” I replied as we left the dark house.

I squinted in anticipation but the daylight was starting to fade. A sight made very apparent by our vantage point on the hill. One that I would never have been able to see back in my original home town. I closed my eyes and considered all the other views and experiences this world could offer me if I just played my cards right and tried not to repeat too many of my past mistakes. Including being too considerate.

I stopped halfway between the front steps and the drion – the creature that resembled a griffin – and Tatsuya paused too.

“So,” I began without looking at him. “Were you and me more than friends?”