Chapter 549:

Fruity Labor Day bros

En Passant Grandmaster

As Iori continued on her way, she ran into two mustachioed men grilling hot dogs and slicing up a watermelon.

"Ey, Happy Labor Day!" one said as offered her a hot dog.

"Labor Day?" Iori asked.

"You take the first Monday of September off to celebrate it," the other man stated.

"Uh, didn't that shit pass ages ago for you guys?"

"You got a Labor Day here commin' up, and where there's Labor Day, there's fruity fellas like us grillin squirrels on the grill."

Iori blinked in confusion. "Uh, what the fuck? Squirrels?"

"Yeah, deez are squirrel dogs. Look like normal hot dogs, but they're squirrels."

"Vinny from down da block had em in his tree, so we cut it down n' cooked the whole nest."

"Just told him Sponge n' Fruity were havin a Labor Day grill down underground, and he told us to cook Staten Island."

"Any normal hot dogs? Not in the mood for rabies roulette," Iori nervously smiled.

"No, fuck you," Sponge grumbled as he tossed a hot dog in Iori's face.

Iori glared as the hot dog hit her face and dropped to the ground. Suddenly, a rash appeared on her face, causing her to scream in pain.

"WHAT THE FUCK!? WHY'S MY FACE BURNING!?"

"We used the radish rash juice on em. Will give anyone an allergic rash, guaranteed," Fruity stated.

"If you wanna make da rash go away, gotta drink the fruity juice, but only fruity fellas can drink it," Sponge stated.

"GIVE ME SOME THEN!" Iori fumed.

"Nah, you're not fruity."

"Chess. You win, I strip n you can grill meat on me. I win, you give me that fucking fruity juice!"

"Whoa, we're family friendly this holiday. But you got cash? This bit's a net negative for me so I could use the change."

"Fine!"

"Oh, and we play as a team, cuz we're only 901 each," Fruity interjected.

"Who cares, I'll kick your fruity asses anyway!"

Once again playing as White, Iori opened the game by moving her pawn to e4, with the Laybuhday bros mirroring her with e5.

"We ever cook a horse?" Sponge asked as Iori moved her knight to f3.

"We about to," Fruity replied as he moved his knight to c6.

The mirroring continued with knight c3 and knight f6, perfectly setting the stage for Iori to play one of her favorite openings.

"It's October, you idiots, that means it's HALLOWEEN MONTH!" Iori manically laughed as she captured the pawn at e5 with her knight.

"Halloween? Nah, we only celebrate Labor Day," Sponge frowned as he shook his head and captured the knight at e5 with his knight.

"Too bad, it's the month of spooks," Iori smirked as she moved her pawn to d4.

"Ah no, we gotta move da horse back," Fruity frowned as he moved his knight to c6.

"Nope, I'm just passing through," Iori smiled as she moved her pawn to d5.

"Hey, that's cooking," Sponge nodded as he moved his knight back to e5.

"JUST KIDDING! GIDDY UP, MOTHERFUCKERS!" Iori snickered as she moved her pawn to f4.

The Laybuhday bros shook their heads and moved their knight to g6. their troubles weren't over yet though as Iori moved her pawn to e5, sending their knight back to g8. Then came the decisive moment of the game as Iori moved her pawn to d6. the Laybuhday bros turned to each other and whispered to each other before finally settling on moving their pawn to a5.

"FINALLY OVERCOOKED YOURSELVES!" Iori madly laughed as she moved her knight to b5.

"Uh, no. You see what we droppin on the grill? It's a check, the bad kind," Fruity scowled as he moved his queen to h4.

"For you," Iori retorted as she moved her pawn to g3.

"Nah, we just pull it back off the grill with the spatoola," Sponge grumbled as he moved his queen back to d8 with a spatula.

"After burning it to charcoal ya mean. Check!" Iori grinned as she captured the pawn at c7 with her knight.

The Laybuhday bros turned to each other and sighed, realizing the only move they could make was capturing the knight at c7 with their queen. This meant bye-bye queen as Iori wasted no time in capturing it with her d-pawn. In their dejection, the brothers made another big blunder by moving their rook to a6, allowing Iori to capture it with her bishop. The bros did capture said bishop with their b-pawn, but dejection had already wrapped it's greasy tentacles around them.

After Iori moved her bishop to e3, the bros attempted to counterattack by checking with bishop b4, but it was easily thwarted with pawn c3. And in true Laybuhday bro fashion, the bros then moved their bishop back to f8.

"You two sure love moving pieces out than back to the start," Iori snickered as she moved her queen to d5.

"Ey, we're used to droppin meat on the grill then flippin it onto the plate," Fruity growled as he moved his 8-knight to e7.

"And dropping the ball," Iori taunted as she moved her queen to a8.

There was little the bros could do, but move their pawn to a4. Their spirits were dropping, but some excitement came their way as Iori castled queen's side.

"Ey, dat's a burger flip! Real fruity of ya," Fruity smiled as he moved his pawn to d6.

"And you know what's even fruitier?" Iori asked as she captured the pawn at d6 with her rook.

"Labor Day?" Fruity asked as he moved his pawn to f5.

"No," Iori glared as she moved her pawn to e6.

"Mustache rides?" Sponge asked as he moved his knight to d5.

Iori couldn't help but laugh at the guess. "Nope, it's mate! Er, check, mate in 1," she grinned as she captured the bishop at c8 with her queen.

"Well least you gave us more love than that guy from South Beach," Sponge sighed as he moved his king to e7.

"Yeah, now here's the real checkmate. Give me that fucking fruity juice now, so I can get this rash off my pretty face!" Iori smiled as she moved her queen to d8, winning the game.

The full game:

White: Iori Ishikiridokoro (2488) Black: Fruity Laybuhday (901) and Sponge Laybuhday (901)

1. e4 e5

2. Nf3 Nc6

3. Nc3 Nf6

4. Nxe5 Nxe5

5. d4 Nc6

6. d5 Ne5

7. f4 Ng6

8. e5 Ng8

9. d6 a5

10. Nb5 Qh4+