Conversation with Myself: Delay and Burnout

Psss... It's time to wake up, Hisao. It's time to write.

   Hmm... give me five more minutes.

Hey! You're late right now. You don't have plenty of time. Remember, the deadline is in four weeks and you only have 15000 words until now. You haven't even completed Cho's story. When are you thinking to finish it?

   AHHH! I've just remember. Ahh... what should I do?

Do you even have the idea of the story? You're describing her as if she had suffered a lot. But if you don't have any idea of what happened to her, then you'll need to rewrite that chapter. And you don't have time for that.

   I know I don't have time. But, right now, I can't write. I'm stuck. I decided that I wouldn't have any plan for this novel.

Yeah, I know that. You don't have to tell me that. Anyway, why don't you grab a piece of paper and write down everything you need to revise. Let's do that for today, OK?

   Yeah, I think you are right.

Well, while you're doing that... should I explain our readers what's happening right now? They should be confused because of this change of scenarios and why isn't Lian or Cho here... Or why you're called Hisao.

   What readers? It's not like if we were in a novel.

Yeah... you should be right.

   Here's the pen and paper. So, let's start. The first thing I need to create is the background history of Cho. So... what story should I give her? What kind of story do you think Cho must have? Something tragic? Maybe a little hard childhood?

Hmm... I'm not sure. What are you trying to achieve with this novel? I mean, as far as I read, I could notice that your characters aren't so memorable. They're not so unique. They're like any other character you could find in one of those internet amateur circles. Are you trying to make them memorable with their stories?

   Indeed. Well, you're my conscience. You should know what I want.

Of course I know what you want, but your readers don't.

   Yeah, that's true. OK, then. What are you thinking about?

The actual question would be "what am I thinking about"... badabumts

   Stop making jokes. Those aren't your strength, as they aren't mine.

I know, I know. I just wanted to break the ice. Anyway... why don't you research on the internet?  Isn't your objective to collect everyones' stories and tell the ones that must be told? It's on your synopsis.

   Yeah, but I've been researching for a couple of days, but haven't found anything useful. I have them noted in here: here is a girl that didn't have a father model on her growth, a teenager who couldn't count with the help of her families and friends to fulfil her dreams and a young women that was exploited when she was a salary woman in Tokyo.

Hmm... the second one sounds like Keiko. And the first one seems to fit the reason why Reiko is like she is with Lian. Am I wrong?

   Nope, you're right.

Then why not to use the last one?

   I don't feel it as something memorable. I believe that the idea of being exploited is too common.

I see... And haven't you think on a way to make it more memorable?

   No, I don't have any idea.

Well, you should have to know at least how tragic do you want to do it. Maybe we should check on it later.

   Yeah. For now I have a vague idea of Reiko and Yashi's story. For Reiko I was thinking that her father left her with a relative in Asuka when she was five.

Isn't it really normal? I mean, I've read some novels and seen some anime with that base prompt: a main character goes to the countryside in order to rethink about something.

   I know. But, in this case, the father left her in Asuka so she tries to see things in other ways. You know that Reiko is a genius, especially when it comes to thinking. But the urban city only makes her think on a very realistic way, in a crude way. That's why the father wanted to change that small detail. He wanted for her to experience the joy of imagination. But he wanted for her to discover it by herself. That's why that he 'abandoned' her in Asuka. And that's why she's always thoughtful.

Uhm... Yeah, I believe that changes a bit the usual prompt.

   Yes, but I'm aware that it's still not that unique. It has a little twist, but that's all. 

Will you change the idea, then?

   I might. I'm not sure yet. I'll first focus on making Cho's story memorable.

OK, then. And what about Yashi? Which is his story?

   I planned for him a simple story: his daughter went abroad for exchange studies and died in an accident which involved two local gangs. His daughter's dream was to work abroad, and that exchange opportunity would give her the chance to fulfil her dream. 

And where's the punchline? Where's the drama that will make your readers jump from their chairs? What's the uniqueness?

   It's not in the story. And I'm not thinking on doing it so dramatic. I'll write this story so the readers will feel wholesomeness. 

Wait... you? Writing something wholesome?

   Hey!

It's not to insult your writing, but you've never been able to write some wholesome. I mean, at least the way you write drama makes some people feel it. And wholesomeness is in other level. God tier. It's easier to tell than write wholesomeness. 

   I know it's something outside my league. But I want to improve. 

Hey! It isn't time to improve. You don't have time. Maybe you should look for another way...

   I can't. This story is important if I want to make Reiko's story appealing. You remember that Reiko's dream is to go abroad, right?

Yeah, I do.

   The conversations between Reiko and Yashi will be important for this to happen. For her to go abroad. For her to stop thinking realistically.

I see... OK, I won't go deeper on that. So, what's next?

   I need to introduce another character at the end of this volume. I only need to introduce it. Then, I'll start the next volume with his or her story.

Interesting. Then, why don't we keep that point for another day?

   What do you mean?

Maybe, instead of adding a brand new character, you could add someone related to one of the already existing characters. Maybe an old love of Cho, Reiko's father or Yoshinori's grandson. By the way, readers, Yoshinori is 'Oosan'.

   I know Yoshinori is Oosan. He is my character.

I know you know, but readers don't know.

   Readers?

EHM... What do you say about my idea?

   It could work. I'll write it down.

Nice. 

   So, that's all for this volume.

And Lian's story? Have you planned already?

   No, but I'll leave it for next volume.

Nice. So you grab the attention for potential readers awaiting for next volume, right?

   ...

Right?

   Actually, I haven't even started with his story...

But... he's your main character, isn't he?

   No, not actually. He's more of a support character.

But everything happens around him. I mean, he's the one telling the stories.

   Yeah, he is the one telling them, but he is just a mediator. The main characters are the ones that appears in each story: Cho for her story, Reiko for her story, Yashi for her story, and so on.

Are you sure about it?

   Yes, I am.

There are many novels that failed because of that. Because of using the 'main character' as a mediator, more than the principal character.

   I know. But if I do it nicely, I may be recognised in the light novel community.

I mean, you could. But it's not secure.

   But there's the chance.

There is...

   That's why I am doing it like a slice of life and not a linear story. That's why I've chosen to do many stories instead of only one.

OK... I'll trust you, then. Well, I'll trust myself. Anyway, readers, you now know how's the story is going.

   Hey, I still don't understand why you are talking to the readers. I mean, there's no one reading my thoughts. Only you. There're no readers. Why are you trying to break a 4th wall that doesn't exist? We aren't on a book.

I mean...

   Yesterday I followed your game just because it sounded good. But now it doesn't make sense.

Ehm.

   What happened?

I've just realised that there are many words typos, grammar mistakes and incoherences in your novel.

   Ah, yeah. I know. I'll revise them in the later stage. You know how I write. I don't have a schedule or an outline. I just write whatever comes to my mind.

Yeah, but you must be sure to revise it. I've seen that in the last chapter, the one that you do the ode to language, you put your name instead of Lian's.

   Oh, I'll correct it later, then. I mean, it's something that can be ignored or replaced easily. You know how impressive is the human mind. Take your example.

My example?

   Yeah, your example.

What do you mean?

   We're like two different people talking. But you're only my conscience.

Ah, yes. Your conscience.

   Yes, my conscience.

Anyway, what are you going to write right now?

   I think I'll finish Cho's story.

Do you know how to elaborate on that?

   Maybe I'll try with a workplace problem, but not related to exploits. I'll do a bad love. What do you think?

Well, I'm your thoughts.

   Yeah, true. I'll do that, anyway.

And how is this bad love? Remember you have to make it tragic.

   Maybe Cho suffered partner violence?

A toxic relationship?

   Yes! That.

Uhm... seems fine.

   Yeah, it's still normal. Not that memorable. But that event, the breakup, may have changed Cho's personality, specially in love relations.

That looks more interesting. Go ahead with that.

   I'll do. I'll continue writing, so stay quiet.

Yes, I will... So, there you have, readers. Keep going through the story, and just enjoy. Judge his writing by yourself. Well, enough of breaking walls. See you later!

                                                                                       — The Narrator.