Chapter 552:

Barbecue boots on

En Passant Grandmaster

Back inside Inferno's den, Joel opened up his game with Iori by moving his pawn to c4. "Yeah! We starting off with a BOOM! Flavor town heading your way!"

"Lol, that's the English," Iori snickered as she moved her pawn to g5.

"What!? What's that!?" Joel gasped as he moved his pawn to d3.

"Uh? The English Opening-"

"NO! That move you made! My buddy, B-dub says that's a Borg Trek thingy!"

"Uh, is this a Borg variant? Not sure if it is. But if you want a name for it, here's the Four Lights Gambit!" Iori grinned as she slammed her pawn down on e5.

"Four lights... FOUR LIGHTS!? I HEARD FOUR LIGHTS!" An unshaven bald man, who appeared to be homeless, cried as he stumbled over.

"Packard, they're in the middle of a game," Milkia scowled as a bouncer escorted the man to a seat.

"Yeah, everyone knows it's 5 lights, or was it Phoenix lights? Who dun care!?" Joel scoffed as he moved his knight to f3.

"And lol to you," Iori smirked as she advanced her pawn to g4.

"What!? That's easy! Now I-"

But Joel suddenly paused and went silent before slowly moving his f-knight to d2.

"Tch, thought he'd take," Iori thought as she moved her knight to f6.

"You tried to fool me! Now I'm gonna grill ya!" Joel roared as he moved his pawn to h3.

"Nope, you're ass is getting roasted, or will be roasting meat when it becomes a grill!" Iori grinned as she captured the pawn at h3 with her g-pawn.

"I'm taking you down to the town of brisket!" Joel fumed as he moved his pawn to e4.

"Uh, you sure?" Iori smirked as she captured the pawn at g2 with her h-pawn.

"I'm not getting tricked! I got me a lone star rating of 22-something!" Joel retorted as he captured the pawn at g2 with his bishop.

"You mean 1522," Iori snickered as she moved her knight to c6.

"I said the 22 part!" Joel fumed as he moved his knight to c3.

Iori silently smirked and moved her bishop to g4. Joel also went quiet as he moved his knight to d5, though the peanut gallery kept cheering loudly.

"I wanna see that girl get sirached on the grill!" One guy called out as Iori moved her knight to d5.

"Joel's ass becoming a grill would be fecal funny though," another quipped as Joel moved his knight to d4.

"Anyone know who's winning?" one asked as Joel moved his bishop to d2.

"No, none are supposed to. There are bets going on this match," Milkia glared as Iori grinned madly and captured the knight at d5 with her knight.

Joel shot Iori an odd scowl as he captured the knight at d5 with his c-pawn, but remained silent.

"He hasn't caught on. His ass is getting grilled," Iori thought as she moved her queen to f6.

But he would on the next move as he blundered and moved his rook to h3. "NO! My rookey rook! It's my castle towers! I'm gonna- huh?"

Everyone stared in bewilderment as Iori forwent capturing the rook in favor of moving her own rook to g8.

"Uh... UHAHAHA! YOU BLEW IT!" Joel laughed as he moved his rook to g3.

"No I didn't," Iori grinned as she captured the knight at f3 with her bishop.

"You did! I get a bishop now!" Joel grinned as he captured the bishop at f3 with his bishop.

"Then why's your rook going?" Iori snickered as she captured the rook at g3 with her rook.

"You blew it! I can equalize now! You almost had me, but you blew it!" Joel taunted as he captured the rook at g3 with his f-pawn.

"Nope! Check!" Iori smirked as she captured the bishop at f3 with her knight.

"OH SHIT!" Joel cried as he captured said knight with his queen. "SHIT! SHIT!"

"Touch move, touch take, specially if you start capturing a piece," Iori snickered as she captured the queen at f3 with her queen.

Joel began to sweat as he moved his bishop to a5, with his complete collapse following shortly after as Iori's play of queen h1, check, led to him moving his king to d2 without thinking, allowing Iori to capture his rook at a1 with her queen.

"NO! My A1 sauce rook!" Joel cried as he moved his king to e3.

"And next up, your king and ass!" Iori maniacally grinned as she moved her queen to f1.

"My ass is made of titanium now!" Joel retorted as he moved his pawn to g4.

"Perfect for converting to a grill! Check!" Iori snickered as she moved her bishop to h6.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Joel cried as he was forced to move his pawn to g5.

"And that's it! Checkmate! You just got cooked, grilled, and roasted!" Iori laughed as she captured the pawn at g5 with her bishop, winning the game.

The full game:

White: Joel Duendink (1522) Black: Iori Ishikiridokoro (2488)

1. c4 g5

2. d3 e5

3. Nf3 g4

4. Nfd2 Nf6