Twenty-one

Standing by myself, I was at a loss. The last thing I wanted was to be alone here, but I knew better than to follow Selene. That left me with two choices. The first was to go back into the building where everything happened, and the other was to visit Rebecca. I didn't think I could handle going back into that building alone, so my decision was made.

With a sigh, I began to jog away from the building, leaving Selene somewhere behind me. I was lost in my thoughts about everything that had just happened. How could I attack Selene like that, and why did it seem like I couldn't control my body? Thoughts like this continued to run through my head the whole time, and I couldn't answer any of them.

Finally, I made it to a clearing and paused as I saw an open field filled with roses. I hesitated for a moment but slowly walked forward, careful not to crush any flowers. I didn't have to walk for long before I found the spot where she rested.

Sitting next to the mound of dirt, I didn't know what to say. I stretched out on the ground and just laid next to where Rebecca was, trying to think of the right words. Eventually, I opened my mouth and began to ramble.

"Hi Rebecca, as you can see, I made it out. I was the only one out of all 200 of us. When you died, I absolutely lost it. I fought and killed everyone. I don't remember seeing the doctor, though. Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about that. I feel like he deserves to die, but I have so many damn questions".

"Do you remember all of those painful injections that he gave us? How the two of us would huddle in the corner after them and try not to show weakness to the others? I think it gave me some sort of power. I don't know how to describe it, but on the outside, I am amazing. I can't feel pain, and I heal immediately. I am the perfect warrior."

"On the inside, though, I'm struggling. I can convince people that I am happy, but I felt so alone once you died, and I still do. I never told you about myself, but I watched my family die before I met you. I was captured just like you, and I didn't know what was going on, but meeting you, it gave me purpose. All I wanted to do was keep you safe, and I failed at that. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I couldn't keep you safe."

Saying this, it took all I had to keep my composure. Looking up, I noticed that dawn was approaching, but storm clouds covered the sky. A few drops of rain began to splatter the ground around me.

Taking a deep breath, I continued.

"You know, I have someone with me now. I found her in a cave, and she tried to kill me. Turns out she is a demon. Crazy to think they actually exist while we spent our whole lives worrying about bread. There is so much to explore now that I am free of where we grew up. I just wish you were here, too. I am going to help the demon find her friend, and it may pull me far away from here, so I wanted to say a proper goodbye."

The rain was pouring at this point, and I stretched out my hand and watched the drops splash off my skin.

Chuckling to myself, I continued, "I guess it is some weird effect from the injection, but I can't feel anything physical anymore. I can see the rain, but if I close my eyes, I can't feel it. The woman I am with, Selene, is trying to convince me this is a good thing, but I am not sure."

"Ever since we met, I refused to open up to her. We were finally starting to get close, and I just messed everything up.

"There were men partying near where you died, and I got so upset. I normally get upset. You saw my anger when I was fighting to get us food. But this was different. I lost control and attacked Selene. I was helpless as my own body hurt her. It even sounded like someone else spoke using my body. It sounds weird to say, but I feel like something else is in my body."

Closing my eyes to ignore the rain, I said, "I'm scared, Rebecca. There is so much going on now. I wish you could tell me what to do."

Laying on the ground, I wished with all my might that I would hear her voice, but I was only met with the sound of rain. I laid on the ground next to Rebecca in silence, unsure of what else to say. With a sigh, I continued softly, "I'm going to have to go soon, though I'm not sure where. Thank you for listening, and I hope you are resting easy. I promise that I will come back to visit you again. I just can't promise when."

Feeling like I had said everything that I needed to, I slowly opened my eyes. At first, I was confused with what I was seeing until I realized that a wing was spread over me. Looking behind me, I saw Selene standing, using her wings to shield me from the rain.

Slowly getting to my feet, I pushed all the mud off of my cloak and looked at Selene, who stared back at me with a sad expression. Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks as evidence that she had heard my conversation with Rebecca.

I began to try to apologize again, but she held up a hand, silencing me. After a small pause, she said, "We have a lot to talk about, but I want to get out of this rain. You may not feel it, but I do."

At this point, going back into that building was the last thing I wanted. I could have all the physical strength in the world, but I would never be strong enough to feel ready for this. Talking to Rebecca was rough, but going into that building would be worse.

Selene sensed my hesitation and, in a much softer tone, said, "I know you're nervous, but I'm not mad, and you're not alone." With a chuckle, she added, "Besides, I think you owe me."

I knew she was right, and with a nod, I replied quietly, "You're right. Let's get going."