Episode 0.1 - The 30th Vacation - (part 2)

Machidna was pretty upset herself at this moment,

“My lord I know you restricted me from not using offensive advanced magic arts. But I guess there is no other option if you have to get rid of these pesky pests.”

I was really pissed off at this moment.
I recognized that spear that was just launched at us. It was a divine spear powered with light magic which is quite harmful to people like us demons. Thankfully the Machidna’s barrier absorbed most of the damage.

I had instructed Machidna and Leireath to avoid using offensive skills when I am on vacation. The first few vacation spots were ruined just because Machidna and Leireath went a bit wild. Henceforth I had ordered them not to use any offensive abilities until I said so.

At this moment I am really pissed off and just want to just obliterate this entire mountain range along with these pesky adventurers.

But that thought lasted for a second and I just took a deep breath and calmed myself,

“Stand down, Machidna I don’t want this vacation to turn into a barren battlefield. Let’s try talking with them first.”

“You still wanna talk it out even after they just launched a powerful attack just now. They have started such fights so many times for no reason. I can’t let this slide, we had enough of their crap. Let’s annihilate them for once and all.” suggested Machidna while glaring around our camp.

“Do you think I am not frustrated by their constant interruption? I would also like to purge everyone that has opposed me so far. But doing so has always given rise to more enemies and the cycle of revenge has been going on and on.” I let out a sigh, “Alright, this will be one last time I try to talk it out. If things work out then good and if not then you are free to do as you please.”

As soon as I said so Machidna nodded with a happy smile,

“But if they don’t comply with you, my lord and a fight is imminent, you won’t complain if I capture a few guys, right? I wanna dissect a few people for a little experiment of mine and increase my knowledge of humanoid physical and magical anatomy.”

I just looked at Machidna weirdly.
She looked like an innocent kid using a cute smile just to ask if she can capture and dissect guys like they are not people but lab rats. I know for a fact she does it for torture and not for educational purposes as she implies.

I let out a sigh,

“Sure, go ahead. I don’t even care at this point.”

If they don’t wanna talk it out, let them be tortured by Machidna.

Listening to my reply Machidna became excited,

“Now that’s what I like.”

She suddenly waved her hand and her staff, the infamous Nerfslay appeared. The staff she carries is made of the bones of a fallen reaper. Meanwhile, the jewel in the staff is one of the ancient relics said to be the solidified blood of an ancient devil. Combined with her own powerful magical prowess, she’s an unstoppable Goddess of destruction.

Hence why she acquired the infamous title ‘the Great witch of Doom’ that will end the world. Some even debate that she’s more dangerous than me, the Demon lord.

I looked around,

“By the way, where's Leireath? She took the full brunt of that blow from that divine spear. You could have provided her with a barrier as well.”

Machidna just snickered,

“You don’t have to worry about that gorilla girl. She will be just fine. For boring us with her horrible singing and dancing of hers, she deserved that anyway.”

“Hey, it wasn’t that bad. Poor girl did her best. But these pesky heroes and adventurers ruined her performance. I won’t let that slide.” Unconsciously I released the burst of power within me.

The atmosphere around me started to grow dense as I made my presence known as I, the demon lord was here. It was the same tactic how animals flaunt their fangs as a warning not to mess with them.

Before we knew it, many people armed to the teeth showed up around us. They were all wearing heavy magic equipment and armed with weapons that gave a powerful mana scent. There were a variety of people gathered here with proper formation.

The tank class equipped with heavy armor and a big shield and sword were in the first line of defense. Behind them were other foot soldiers like swordsmen, spearmen, and other similar adventurers. Finally behind everyone were the mages who had already started casting spells and the archers beside them had already pulled their bow aiming mana charged arrows right at us.

They had completely surrounded us.

For some reason, they still haven’t launched an attack yet.

Machidna and I were totally composed, not having the slightest of fear.

I stepped forward towards the adventurers gathered around,

“If it isn't for the brave adventurers of the Levern kingdom. I see you guys prepared quite heavily? Are you perhaps heading to some war or something?”

The adventurers didn’t reply and just stood on their guard.
But I can see them sweating nervously and they were quite nervous as well.

But of course, there are always those who don’t fear death. They might be brave or just quite the fool who doesn't treasure their life.

One of the adventurers in the back finally replied,

“Evil demon lord, say your prayers! We will finally stop your evil schemes. With Sir Galand here soon will turn this forest into your gravesite. Prepare to die.”

Ha! The same dialogue now I have heard like 1000+ times already. Kinda cliche.
His threat didn’t even bother me but-

“What did you just SAY?” just when Machidna stepped forward, “You have the audacity to threaten my lord in front of me.”

Machidna went on a crazy mode.

The surge of mana power started rising. Her eyes started glowing, a rich amount of mana power started gathering around her that was visible to the human eyes. She started levitating and her hair flying around like some crazy god-like being.

“I had enough.” Machidna suddenly snapped her fingers, “Pillar of Hellsburn.”

Suddenly in the sky, a giant void appeared in the sky.
From the void big molten rock, the size of a big hill appeared out of the void. It looked like the shape of a very big stake with still lava pouring from the edges. It slowly descended to where the adventurers were standing.

All the adventurers gathered here went pale,

“It’s the witch of doom! She just teleported to a lava hill.”

“Hey, the hell. We are so dead.”
“Stand your ground adventurers. Remember we are not alone, Sir hero Galand is with us.”

“But where is Sir Galand?!”

“He was hunting down the Berserker apes.”

“He’s on his way as we speak. Stay your ground.”

“Hey, I did not sign up to die. I am out.”

“Coward! If you turn your back, I will be the first one to slay you.”

“Bring it on! It’s better than taking on the Demon Lord.”

The adventurers were in utter chaos.
A little bit of display of power and they are already turning tail and fleeing.

Pieces of molten lava fell from the sky as the adventurers dodged it. The big rock of the molten lava descending from the sky looked like judgment day, the end of the world. The molten lava falling from above started a forest fire cornering the adventurers. The night forest lit up because of all the fire and chaos.

Some adventurers just fell on their knees and just gave up.
Meanwhile, some were fleeing while some tried to stop them.

“What a pathetic display,” muttered Machidna with utter contempt.

Well, they did break into my vacation spot and ruined my vacation spot. Although technically Machidna burnt down the forest it’s adventurers’ fault in the first place coming here.

My vacation spot is already ruined. But If I could at least negotiate or at least get a cease-fire between both parties, then it would do both of us good. After that way, they could see that I actually retired from being the demon lord.

But if they end up being killed by the molten rock thrown by Machidna, this cycle of hatred will continue.

“Machidna stop it. That’s enough.” I finally ordered her to stop.

I am here to have fun and not on a killing spree.

Machidna finally calmed down and came back on the ground.
The terrifying god-like appearance changed back to her lovely cute girl form.

“As you wish my lord.” she replied and then turned to the adventurers, “I spare your miserable lives. You should be grateful to my lord, even after you threatened him he was kind enough to let you live. Otherwise, I would have wiped you, rodents along with this entire mountain range.”

“Thank you, madam.”
“Thanks for sparing our lives.”

“Hey, stop thanking them. Where is your pride as a warrior.”

“Could you shut up!”

The adventurers were again in a mess.

Some cowered under pressure while some stood their ground.

These adventurers, despite coming here to defeat me always, now look at their pathetic state.

“By the way, my lord.” Suddenly Machidna came to my side.

“What is it?”

“Umm, what do I do with this molten rock hill though?” asked Machidna as she pointed at the floating gigantic molten hill that was frozen in mid-air.

Why was she asking me that?

“Can’t you just make it disappear?”

“I can’t. I summoned this from the crust of the earth. I can’t send it back.”

“Can’t you just create another void and send it somewhere else?”

“The molten hill is very close to the ground. If I opened a big void now to teleport this hill this might even destroy the mountain ranges. Also these pesky rodent adventurers, you just spared, will get sucked up in the portal and end up dying anyway.”

I gave her a wry look.

Now I, the demon lord after giving my word as a demon lord, can’t let them die. I am a man of my word after all.

“Could you possibly keep the rock in the air for a bit longer until these adventurers scurry off?” I suggested.

“I can, but I will have to keep my finger pointing up the whole time. So please let them hurry up before I get tired.”

“Alright, hold on.”

I stepped forward towards the adventurers,

“Now that you know you can’t defeat us, go back to your homes or else-”

Just when a flying golden light appeared in the sky. It was bright like a shooting star heading in our direction.

“A geez, I almost forgot about this guy,” I said facepalming myself.

“You evil Heathen, threatening my fellow comrades.” a voice of a man boomed from the direction of the shooting star.

Suddenly the adventurers who were all gloomy and pale started cheering.

“Sir Galand is finally here!”
“My lord has arrived for our rescue.”
“Let’s make the demons pay.”

“Go back loli witch!”

“Die! Demon lord!”

These worthless rats whose life I just spared, now they started showing their true nature. Maybe I should have let these adventurers die, the world doesn’t need such filth.

Machidna was shocked and angry,

“Hey, who the heck just called me a loli witch-”

Just when the golden flying light crashed with the floating molten hill.

There was a loud blast and the big molten hill burst into several big lumps of rock. The large chunk of debris rained down from the sky and bombarding the mountain ranges.

Machidna already lost control of the floating molten hill when the golden light crashed with it. The big hot debris of rocks bombarded over the mountain ranges while flattening all the adventurers.

I didn’t even feel a bit of a shred of pity for these worthless adventurers who change their color like a chameleon.

After a few minutes of raining molten rock debris, the mountain ranges once covered in the lush green forest were now barren land. There seemed like no survivor, the only thing there remained was big giant craters and lava from the molten rocks.

Just when from the debris a man appeared from the remains of rubble,

“What just happened?”

The man had golden hair that reached till his shoulder. Blue eye like sapphire which was right now filled with shock. He was wearing light armor with golden intricate designs. On his lower body, he wore a pair of heavy iron shorts that just looked lame. Meanwhile, on his foot, he wore leather sandals that had a pair of wings poking out.

He looked around in a state of shock,

“Where is this place? I was just in the Jera mountain ranges.”

Oh boy, here we go again!
This asshole does this shit every time!

Like every fucking time that I am tired of this.

I just hate-

I need to calm down.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself.

I glanced back at Machidna,

“Hey, easy now. Let me handle this.”

Machidna was right on edge and already preparing a few spells.

We don’t have to escalate this as it is now.

She glanced at me,

“I don’t think he’s in a state to talk, we should just attack while we still have a chance.”

I let out a sigh,

“You know we can’t kill him. At least not right now. Just sit back and let me handle this.”

Meanwhile, the new blonde guy who was the only survivor was looking everywhere in shock. He was still searching for his comrades.

“Oi Galand, what are you searching for, so energetically the first thing coming here,” I asked.

I just wanted to strike a friendly conversation and just let him know my presence. Right at this moment, he’s not right in his head. I mean he’s never been right on his head like ever.

The blonde man named Galand finally looked at me.

It took a few seconds,

“Andrius! You! Where have you brought me?”

See that’s what I was saying. He’s always on crack or something.

This man here is Galand Avarelia, the man blessed with divine light magic and godly physical abilities that might not be worse than Leireath herself. From birth, he was championed as the savior of humanity and trained to be a warrior. It’s said the ancient oracle even prophesied that he will be the one to slay the next demon lord.

To be honest he’s a powerful foe and the only enemy that I ever failed to kill in a one on one confront. That’s because this dude has drunk the immortal milk of Gaia and achieved immortality.

So basically Galand has a powerful magical ability that contradicts my power, physical prowess almost to the level of Leireath and is also immortal. He is the most generic overpowered protagonist of a novel that ever existed.

The only power is that he’s a big narcissist and clumsy while controlling his power.

“Where is this place? Where are my comrades that were with me at the Jera mountain ranges?” Galand asked me with an angry gaze.

This guy really has no clue what he has just done.

I let out a sigh,

“This is Jera mountain range until you attack the hill which then bursts into a big chunk of rocks that just flattened this mountain. Meanwhile, your comrades were flattened, burned, and got buried under that very debris. I never intend to kill them if you only could not just listen-”

“Liar! Liar! LIAR! You! You~ You killed my comrades yet again.” yelled Galand.

Galand got on his knees and picked the dirt from the ground,

“Rest in peace dear friends. Our journey was short but it meant everything. I will remember you forever and I promise to avenge your death.”

Two tears came from Galand’s eye like some kinda fake play.

Even Machidna just rolled her eyes while watching the soap drama.

I was so done with this shit show.

I stepped forward,
“Hey now! You brought that to yourself. This is the 30th time that my vacation was ruined because of you guys. Aren’t you tired of this? I already told you I am not the demon lord anymore. That thing is behind me now. Right now I was just camping in the Jera mountains to enjoy the hot spring bath. But you still relentlessly pursue me like a madman~ Hey, you even listening to me?”

“Silence!” shouted Galand while he was still making out with dirt. The voice carried a mysterious divine power that tried to push me away. It was his aura as the hero which contradicts the dark magic mana used by our demons.

I let out a sigh.

If this goes on, we have to yet again have to fight.

Galand has finally done playing with dirt and stood up on his feet.
The mysterious oppressing aura of his tried to suppress us, demons.

He was releasing strong bloodlust as he walked towards her menacingly, glaring at us like prey.

Machidna aimed her staff at him,

“I think he’s in no need to talk. Let’s slay him already.”

I am not scared of him in the least. I can’t kill him because of his immortality but it’s not like he can kill me either. If that was the case I would not be standing here after confronting this guy like 1000 times already on the battlefield.

I just waved my hand to instruct Machidna to stand her ground and she replied with a nod.

I then turned and looked back at Galand.

I started smiling at him.

Galand who was about a few meters away from him was ticked off,

“You find something funny?”

I just placed my hands on the hip and had a smug expression,

“Ha! You are nothing but a coward.”

“What did you say!”

“What’s that? You got dirt in your ear, after making out with the soil?”

“You bastard! Do you think I am in the mood of a joke-” after saying that, he quickly leaped using his full strength. His feet left a big crater as he launched towards me like a slingshot with his fist aiming straight to my face. He covered the distance in an instant in a mere second.

But I just stood there like a statue with my smug expression as if I was really finding something funny.

Machidna gritted her teeth and somehow forced herself to not get involved.

The powerful fist of Galand was imbued with light magic and his godlike physical prowess that can easily obliterate a hill to oblivion.

But the punch failed to hit its mark and just went past my face. I only felt a powerful gust of wind pass by my face.

Galand stopped in his feet with his punch still in the air, a little away from my face.

“Why the hell are you not defending yourself?” asked Galand frustratedly.

I still retained my smug expression which now turned into laughter.

Galand, despite being a narcissist, not thinking before his actions, and doesn’t even admit to his mistakes, still has pride like a warrior.

So when I didn’t fight back, he immediately stopped. His pride won’t let him attack me if I won’t resist.

“Stop standing there and fight me,” said a frustrated Galand.

I finally stopped laughing and looked him in the eye.
“Why are you so afraid of it?” I asked

Galand felt irritated,

“Ha! I am Galand, the bastion of justice. I fear nothing. Stop delaying the inevitable and fight me already.”

“So why are you so afraid of having a talk with me?”

“I don’t fear you. I just don’t want to have time for small talk. So assume your battle stance and let’s fight.”

I just shook my head,

“Nope, today I wanna have a good talk with you. Depending on that we’ll fight, and I even will go back and cancel my retirement. So we can have all, frontal war that you desire.”

Galand fell quiet for a few seconds and started thinking. Even though he had a big muscle brain, he still had a little common sense.

“So what is it that you wanna discuss with me?” he asked.

I walked away and took a seat on a nearby boulder and then waved the boulder next to signal him to do the same.

Galand politely agreed and sat with his arm crossed.
He still sat in a proudful posture,

“Hurry up, I have limited patience.”

“Hey, we have known each other for a long time. Why the long face?”

“Could you stop beating around the bush and just get to the point already?!” scowled unhappy Galand.

“Geez, I am trying to spark a conversation so we could get to know each other better. But you don’t seem to be not interested a bit.”

“Why would even I, Galand, the bastion of justice bother to lower myself to converse with you, the evil demon lord? You should be glad that I still haven’t yet killed you.”

I let out a sigh,

“You keep saying you can kill me but you never have succeeded.”

“So what if I haven’t succeeded yet, I will slay for sure this time. Let’s fight.”

“This! This is exactly why I hate you, man. Why? Why are you so obsessed with killing me?”

“Is that even a question? You are the demon lord, it’s my duty to kill as the divine hero.”

“But who appointed you on that duty?”

“It’s the blessing of the Lord who sent me down the earth to end your little scheme. I want to kill you to achieve peace for the mortals of the world.”

“But I quit being the demon lord, I told you earlier. I am done with that, I am now just a mere traveler with my two loyal companions visiting the world. So couldn’t you just stop picking fights with me already? We don’t have to shed more blood on either side.”

“You are not serious!” saying so Galand got up from his seat, “You are saying that you are not the demon lord anymore. But what about the death and destruction you caused so far after your retirement? Did you forget how the vacation spots you picked have gone barren and left countless bodies behind?”

I facepalmed, this guy doesn’t listen to a reason.
Machidna who was standing behind me was also bored as well.

Suddenly Galand’s eyes caught something and he rushed to a nearby rubble site.

We didn’t bother him and let him do his own little drama.

From the rubble site, he picked a skull.

Tears started to fall again from Galand’s eyes,

“See this. This person once was my adventurer party member who came here on the quest to defeat you. He once had a family, he had friends, he might even have a wife and children. How do I break this news to them? Do you know how much misery you have brought on this world?

Oh, here we go again.

Machidna interrupted him,

“The death of your comrades was brought upon by yourself. You attacked the molten rock hill and that is what caused the death of your comrades. Stop blaming us. Also, that skull you're holding belongs to a berserker ape.”

Galand glanced at her and then went back to the skull.

Even I can spot that it wasn’t a human skull as you can see the fangs. That must be one of the virgin apes that Machidna abducted during our camping, that poor thing.

Galand just tossed the skull like nothing,

“Anyway my point is that this is the 30th time you caused death and destruction after telling me that you retired.”

I let out a sigh,

“Could you stop blaming me for nothing! I never caused any of those events alright?”

Galand became more agitated,

“What about the time when you summoned that giant Fire breathing snake in the middle of human settlement? Don’t you remember how it burned the people alive in that town? Those poor villagers who knew nothing of fighting were burned to ashes.”

I thought for a second,

“Oh, that! I remember that wasn’t any fire giant snake, it was a paper dragon that I had made for the dragon dance festival. I used puppets to create the dragon festival that was being celebrated in the village. I agree my puppet was a little bigger and I made it look realistic but I never meant to harm them. I was just participating, and even the villagers liked my dragon dancing puppet.”

I suddenly became angry,

“You! You and your adventurers attacked it and set that paper dragon on fire. Soon the whole village was set ablaze. The villagers tried helping me to put out the fire from my paper dragon costume but your adventurers framed those very villagers as accomplices and started killing them mercilessly. I was the one who rescued the remaining villagers and sent them somewhere safe. Meanwhile, you guys took all the glory and pinning the blame on me. It was such a nice village and you guys ruined it!”

Galand was shocked,

“Lies! You have the audacity for lying to such an extent. You even went ahead and pinned the blame on us, the heroes.”

“You think I am joking? I can take you to meet with the village chief who I rescued. He still hates you to the core.”

Galand was overwhelmed by this. He still had his mouth wide open as he was trying to realize something.

Suddenly he gritted his teeth,

“And if you are so good. Then what about the time when you opened the portal to the abyss and wiped out the entire Ordis City. There were no survivors, heck there was not even a brick from that city ever survived.”

I just got a big headache,

“Why are you so dumb? Don’t you remember it was actually your attack that hit the city and obliterated it?”

I continued,

“Also, there was no abyss portal, that day I was at the river bank bursting firecrackers. I was on my vacation and bursting firecrackers was one of my to-do list tasks. That one big firework that I used was specially made by my magic. It was a harmless beautiful firework that would last for a few seconds before disappearing. It was you and your adventures who thought it was an abyss portal! And you! You used one of the powerful spells on my beautiful firework which just went past it and directly hit the city.”

“YOu! You were the one who destroyed the city! You can still go check the ruins and you’ll still find the traces of your magic lingering there. Those world mage associations of yours know this but they still pinned their blame on me. Screw you and your heroic deeds, if this keeps up you will be the one to destroy the world before me.”

Galand was antsy,

“You! Stop speaking nonsense. Why would the mage association keep me around, if it was my mistake?”

I let out a sigh and I am literally at the edge of my patience,

“Do I really have to spell it for you? Do you think mage association can even punish you for your wrongdoings? Also, that would mean losing control of a powerful soldier for them. Hence instead of fixing your wrongdoings they praised you for it and pinned all the blame on me. Humans, pathetic as always.”

Galand fell on deep thinking and almost struggled. I know it’s a hard truth but he needs to get over it.

It’s okay in the novel where there’s a cute clumsy girl that messes things up often. Like how the female character drops the dishes or stumbles on her toes because of her clumsiness. Most boys would forgive her in a heartbeat in those novels. Such characters are loved and are quite popular among the youths. Such girls awaken the most desires of men to protect her.

But here there’s a clumsy overpowered and immortal hero who can obliterate a city by mistake. Are you getting the picture?

He can’t just go ‘Oopsie, I just obliterated the dense populated human settlement to oblivion, tee-hee.’ sticks out tongue while taking a cutesy pose. Also, he’s a man, so that pose is just giving me PTSD.

So that’s that then.

This man is the worst hero that ever existed.
And this shithead is also immortal, so annoying.

Galand finally figured something out and looked at me with a smile.

Did he finally figure out his faults?

“Haha! Stop playing games! I know you are tricking me, making me think that it’s all my fault. Then I will fall into a depression and drop my guard so that you could take advantage of me. I am not falling for it. You had prepared quite well coming on such fake theories but you shouldn’t forget, I am the bastion of justice. I am Galand Avarelia. I am smarter than you.”

He backed away taking a battle stance,

“I will not fall for your trickery..” saying so he suddenly waved his arm.

Suddenly from the rubbles, a golden light came flying towards Galand that he caught it. It was his divine spear that he had earlier launched at our campfire.

This guy will never accept his faults,

“So you still won’t let me peacefully retire and let the world be at peace.”

I stood up looking if there was a chance he would change.

“Haha! I am the divine hero sent by the heavens to slay the evil. You are the fated demon lord that is meant to be slain by my hands. As long as your existence will be in this world, there shall never be peace. So stop trying to evade the inevitable and fight me!”

“I had already told you, my lord.” said Machidna who came to my side, “That guy is just playing hero for the sake of fighting. You’ll never get that man to be reasonable.”

It's when the words of Galand struck me.

The man is full of nonsense and crap but this one time he said something that made me realize something. My existence will always be a threat to this world, it's my destiny. But if I free myself from this world, then I don’t have to play the bad guy anymore.

“Galand! You are really a genius. I get it! It was so simple, why didn’t I think of this before.” I shrieked out in joy.

“What’s the matter, my lord? Why are you so happy all of sudden?” questioned Machidna.

I looked at her with a smile,

“Hey! I decided on our next vacation spot. This time it will be successful for sure.”

“Ha! Didn’t you say you will be going back to being the demon lord and purge everyone if this time it fails. Are you going back on your word, my lord?” she asked me while glaring angrily.

“I swear this is the last time, this will definitely work-”

“You said it the last time the same.”

“No! This time it will definitely work-”

“HEY!” Galand screamed while still being armed with his spear, “Stop ignoring me, and let's fight!”

I stepped forward with a brazen smile,

“Galand I will fulfill your wish. I will disappear in the existence of this world and free you from the shackles of chasing me for so long.”

“Stop tricking me with words and-”

Suddenly I felt a powerful aura coming our way.

I turned around and didn't know when this giant rock the size of a hill came flying at full speed at us.

“Shit!” Machidna swore as she waved her arm and teleported the two of us quickly.

“What the-” Galand shouted before being swept by the big rock and flying a few miles before crashing with a loud bang.

“That gorilla woman finally woke up, and the first thing she did was launch a rocky hill at us!” complained Machidna.

She had teleported the two of us to a safe place.

It didn’t take long before Leireath arrived,
“Forgive me, master! I was caught off guard and even zoned out. I should be punished for my ignorance.” Suddenly she looked furious as her eyebrows twitched, “I will go and slay that bastard and bring you his head.”

I just patted her should,
“Don’t worry about that, Leireath. I am just happy that you are alright. But anyway I’ve decided on our next vacation spot, we need to make preparations.”

“Are you still saying that?” asked Machidna annoyedly.

“Next vacation? What? It's already over?” Leireath was still confused.

“Alright Machidna, please take us back to our castle. We shall go on a vacation where our former identity won’t ever bother us. A vacation to another world. Haha!” I declared excitedly.