Chapter 36:

Victory Debugger

Maizy's Tails: Mass, Memory, Disorder

Maizy didn't waste a moment. She reopened the wound on her arm she'd used for the hardening symbol and drew the time-reverse symbol on the tree beside Mom's body in blood.

Using her gift, she made Mom's body light and carefully placed it over the symbol.

This better work!

She pushed magic into Mom’s body. Nothing happened—at first. Then the wound in her chest closed up, her breathing returned, and her lips flushed pink. But Maizy could tell the soul was missing.

"Mom! Lay down in your body." Maizy enabled her serpent sight and saw a soul sink into the place where Mom's body lay.

That better be her. All the souls looked alike—except Branch, stocky and unmistakable. Oh, poor Branch. Tears welled again.

She continued pumping magic into Mom's body, using her gift in an attempt to give Mom's soul some mass.

Mom coughed.

It worked!

"DING!"

Maizy's eyes filled with tears. "MOM!" she squeaked, hoarse.

"GODS, Maizy!" Mom beamed, tears streaming. "INCREDIBLE! YOU'RE INCREDIBLE!" She pulled Maizy close. "Oh, I love you so much, my little kaydee!"

"I love you too, Mom!"

Then Mom suddenly sat up, knocking Maizy back. Her expression shifted. "Oh dear, Maizy... I'm pregnant! I'm about to give birth!"

WHAT!?

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"GODS! SHE HAS TWO TAILS!" Maizy blurted—the same words she'd heard so many times before.

Mom stuck her hand into her pouch to collect some milk onto her finger, then dragged it along her belly—leading from the bottom up into her pouch. It was a tidy little trail for the newborn to follow.

Maizy stared in amazement as her newborn sister—her literal, absolutely identical twin!—climbed the trail and wriggled into the pouch. Just like Maizy had, not so long ago in the frozen labyrinth.

Now she understood why the gods had locked away that magic symbol. I wonder if they'll lock it again?

"Oh no!" Mom shouted.

Maizy leapt up, ready for anything. She scanned for a weapon. "What? What's wrong?"

"I gave birth to a kaydee in the courtyard!" Mom grimaced. "What am I going to name her?"

Oh.

"Courtyardee? Tree-ee? Barka? Ugh! They're all terrible!" Mom looked genuinely worried.

Maizy thought for a moment—then lit up. "How about Victory? It makes sense, right?"

"Oh, that's perfect!" Mom beamed. "Her name is Victory!" She turned to Maizy. "Wow, you're really good with names! Ascendals and now Victory—wow." She flashed Maizy a big thumbs-up.

BOOM! Something slammed into the courtyard from the skies.

What now!? Maizy searched for a weapon, then turned toward the sound.

At the center of the courtyard stood a tall, striking kad. A woven fedora sat on his head, holes cut out for his ears. In his hands rested a massive battle hammer—easily a hundred times heavier than he was.

Instead of a poncho, he wore a hoodless black cape that shimmered with stars—as if the sky itself had been draped across his shoulders. It clung to his wrists and flowed with a will of its own, utterly defying gravity.

He wore kad-standard fingerless gloves with a midnight-blue ring on one finger. The ring pulsed with some unknown magic, shimmering like it held a secret too big for this world.

"PATCH!" Mom gasped. Her eyes went wide, and she smiled cutely at him in a way Maizy had never seen before.

"Sorry I'm late. The university was attacked too. I killed hundreds of granoliths on this day." He strode forward. "I probably smell like their blood."

Dad?

"I don't mind." Mom tilted her head, gazing up at him—utterly smitten. "I'm covered in blood too."

Apparently Mom forgot I exist, haha! Maizy laughed internally at this absolutely ridiculous situation.

Patch moved closer, sniffed the air in her direction, and his face lit up in a warm smile. "You must be Maizy! Oh, how I've wanted to see you!" He scooped her into a hug—Maizy didn't attempt a bite.

Oh! Her chest swelled with emotions—too many at once to untangle.

Her fur shifted from black to white as Patch held her. "There we go," he said, somehow steadying her with one arm while helping Mom up with the other.

He seems so... Calm. It felt so right to be held by Dad like this. For the first time, Maizy felt... safe.

He's so cool! Wait—do I call him Dad, or Patch, or... Maizy realized she'd never seen another kaydee or keedo with their father. The closest thing was Branch and Grove with her brother, the Woodmaster.

"Dad?" Maizy squeaked, hoarse.

"You can talk already?" Patch's face fell. "I knew I took too long."

"Nuzzlecheeks, she only just emerged eight days ago." Mom grabbed his arm. "It's fine! Remember, she was thirty-one days overdue."

Mom calls him Nuzzlecheeks? That's so cute!

"She only just found her voice a few moments ago." Mom grinned. "When I died."

Patch turned to Maizy—still cradled in his arm. "So you really can bring people back from the dead!" His jaw dropped in a shocked smile.

Mom must've told him about my titles.

Maizy nodded in all seriousness. "If the body's okay and the soul's still around, yes." Then a thought struck her—like a giant battle hammer swung by the coolest dad ever. "You can do it too! I'll teach you CPR!"

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WHAT, god of mysteries, noticed something was off when time froze—then stayed frozen just long enough to have a conversation with a mortal. Curious, he decided to pop on over to their location to see what was going on.

Blocked! Ooh, THEE is so devious. I bet she had HECK disable popping! WHAT didn't know how to wiggle into existence—yet.

He pulled up several status screens to see if he could figure out what they were up to. Information about the entire universe flickering past too fast to parse.

ARGH! Useless. He flung them aside. Paying close attention—the one thing he was supposed to do as this universe's god—was far too much work.

Then inspiration struck.

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WHAT popped into existence beside THEE and HECK—who were standing in the Bark Village courtyard, working their way through the surplus of souls waiting to be ballooned. "Why'd you disable popping?"

THEE turned toward WHAT and smiled as her nose grew all the way out until it touched him. "Why do you think, nosey nose?"

HECK laughed, "Hah! Nice."

WHAT squinted. "It's not nice to keep me out of the loop."

"Yep." She kept ballooning. "Instead of glaring at us, why don't you help? Some of these are yours." She used an invisible force to shove a handful of souls in WHAT's direction.

Grumbling, WHAT started ballooning, taking note of who was no longer deployed. Argh! These WOULD have been acceptable losses—if that troublesome triple villain had died. His face twisted toward maximum insufferability emoji on the SRPS. No soul had ever thwarted him this badly. OH, SHE IS SO ANNOYING!

His head burst into flames.

THEE and HECK both turned to him. THEE spoke first. "You really need to get over it. Just let her live. You should know by now—the more you meddle, the more she'll upset you." She wagged a finger at him.

She walked over to him with the warmest smile she could muster—the face of someone who was having just the best time torturing a child. "Say, why don't I take her off your hands?"

WHAT's head stopped burning. "What's your offer?"

THEE considered, then spoke. "Six million."

WHAT went back to ballooning.

"Seven, then."

WHAT didn't react.

THEE squinted. "What do you want?"

"Path."

"Nope! Absolutely not. We had a deal. He's mine now." THEE gave herself a stern face. "You promised I could borrow him—then you killed him before that could happen!"

WHAT tried to look innocent. "Me? It was the armed serpent! Besides, he was brought back to life." He waved a hand. "It was fiiine."

THEE crossed her arms. "Nope. No. You said very clearly, 'you can have Path in his next life.'" She mimicked WHAT's voice precisely. "And he's currently living that next life. MINE."

WHAT put on his most skeptical face—literally: he pulled it out of his ass. "That's... debatable."

HECK—who was gently whispering, "sorry," to each soul he ballooned—raised an eyebrow. "Oh no. It was debatable. Then we debated. Now it's settled."

WHAT had had enough. "We'll talk about a trade after she's been ballooned for a thousand wobbles." He harrumphed, then ballooned a short, stocky soul standing in front of him with its arms crossed, tapping its foot.

He paused, watching to see what text would appear on the balloon. He hoped it would match what he'd seen before—since this soul never had the chance to grow into an adult.

It was taking a good long while—like the soul hadn't decided what it was just yet.

"That's... strange." THEE frowned. It really was taking a long time.

WHAT licked the balloon, trusting his divine taste buds to reveal the problem. He stared off into the distance, pondering—then his eyes flew open in shock and sudden understanding.

THEE and HECK stared at him. "Well?" THEE pressed.

WHAT scanned the courtyard until he spotted her: Maizy, standing with her mother as a newborn kad made its way up into her pouch.

His grin turned wicked. Revenge dragged his thoughts into a very dark place, twisting his face into the most sinister smile he'd ever managed. He either didn't notice—or didn't care—that the balloon in his hand now read 'CHICKEN SEXER.'

Sensing trouble, THEE motioned for HECK to watch him closely.

In an instant, WHAT summoned another balloon—one from a soul he'd only just stored. He popped it, compressed the soul into a tight little sphere, and slipped it into the newborn now nestled in Mom's pouch.

"WHAT! NO!" THEE's cry came too late. WHAT gave the soul mass, binding it to the brand-new body.

HECK hadn't seen which soul it was. He turned to THEE. "Which one?" His voice wavered between shock and dread.

THEE turned—ever so dramatically—to meet his gaze.

"The Delkin."