The journey for safer lands, and the struggle for a good night's sleep

Hello Goddess, I still don’t know if you’ve been watching me. So, I’ve decided to give you a rundown on how things have been. After splitting off with my new slime friend, I found myself starting my trek to that town I saw. I could tell from how far it was that it would take a while to get there, so I prepared myself mentally to camp in this dangerous forest.

The first night wasn’t so bad at first, I roasted one of the apples I had and enjoyed its caramelized taste. I then layed down and used a log as a pillow, however my peaceful dreams were cut short.

*Drip drip*

“...Eh?”

I felt something dripping down onto my face, and woke up to see a drooling bear grinning over me. I slowly got up, grabbed my luggage, bowed to the bear out of courtesy, and ran away like it was an 80s gag manga. I spent the remaining hours of the night hiding inside a dead tree. After that I found myself planning for my second night in the woods. I decided to put one of my skills into practice, this wasn’t my first time getting a rude awakening from a bear. I had a few close calls like this back home too, so it’s time for me to use my unique skill! Sleeping in trees! It’s sad I know, I acquired the skill when I was ten. A bear chased me and I climbed up a tree to escape it, I ended up falling asleep in that tree. I feel I’ll be safer up on a tree branch then waiting down below. Let’s see how this works out.

****

The second night didn’t work out well at all, I should’ve expected as much. That’s what I get for thinking all the parts of the forest were the same. Especially considering *gulp* how I encountered…Eep! I don’t even want to think about it, but I have to tell you! I roasted one of the pears I had, and after a decent meal climbed a tree in order to have a safe nap. However, that was a big mistake. You see the part of the forest I’m in now is insect territory, I saw a giant ladybug and hercules beetle earlier. I used to collect beetles as a kid, so the hercules beetle excited me! As for the ladybug, they’re symbols of good luck so I took it as a good sign. I was wrong, very wrong! I was woken up again, because I felt a tickling sensation. When I opened my eyes, I noticed something sticky around my body and mouth. I then realized it was a spiderweb, then I noticed good old Charlotte coming towards me. At that moment, something came over me! I felt like I was having one of those protagonist awakening events…No, that’s a big fat lie. Here’s the basic rundown of what actually happened.

“NNUUUU BOOOOSSHHHUHHHH WWWIIITT TIIPPP OOOOKKKKEEEEYYY DDDDOOOOMMMM NNNEEEE(EW GROSS GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!).”

I then started using the caterpillar technique in an attempt to wiggle free, it didn’t work. A very terrifying death was looming closer, and I was too scared to even close my eyes. I began to wiggle faster, and Charlotte got closer. I started to lose hope, I even hoped that I wouldn’t give my eight legged adversary indigestion. However, the web finally gave way! Leading me and Charlotte to plummet to the ground, or rather Charlotte did. The web acted like a bungee cord for me, as for Charlotte well let’s just say the market was selling spider skewers. Never thought I’d see one of those abominations skewered by a tre-NO! I’m starting to remember, it was too disgusting please let me forget! I don’t even know what to do anymore! Maybe my next night will be better.

****

NIGHT THREE WAS AMAZING! My whole day was nice in fact, as you can guess after my terrible night I started rushing to leave insect territory. When it was day break I found a stream to bathe in, when I finished I saw some funny looking hippos come to feast on the vines along the streambed. One of the babies got curious about me and ran up to me, it was so adorable!

I then kept moving from there, and decided to search for more food. I found a nice banana tree, so I decided to tug at the vine it had. That way I could shake down a few bananas. That's when the tree began moving, and I found out it wasn’t a banana tree. I was some kind of camel, and I accidentally woke it. After explaining myself, it let me have a few bananas. I also ran into some grassy monkeys and a fox with flowers blooming on its fur. They all seemed nice, I guess that’s to be expected of the herbivore side.

Soon night fell and admittedly I was scared, but after eating two bananas I decided to hit the hay. I woke up again, it was because I felt soft things all around me. I looked up to see a whole bunch of puffy squirrel like creatures napping around me, I then noticed what sounded like a lullaby coming from close by. I looked and saw two giant puffy squirrels, I guess they were the parents of these guys. I didn’t mind it at all, it made me think of my soft bed back home. I wonder how my pillow buddy, my stuffed penguin, Mr. Plappers is doing?

Needless to say I woke up next morning feeling refreshed, I also noticed some nuts in my bindle. I guess it was a reward from the squirrels for letting their kids sleep. With my body well rested and my ambitions pushing me forward, I continued my trek!

****

-Until now that is.

“WHY ISN’T MY LIFE EVER EASY!”

“RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

I was being chased, by a pack of goblins no less! If only that guy from the book I was reading were here, he’d know what to do! I found myself dodging behind trees and using the brush in an attempt to throw them off. However, those little buggers were prepared! Especially the fat one, he had some strange fixation on me! Eventually I found reaching the end of the road, I was stopped by a ravine. It was a deep drop, if I fell down there it would be game over. Like in one of those try-hard video games, why does fall damage have to always be the final boss! Soon my green assailants caught up to me, and began snickering. However, since I was fed up at this point I snapped!

“WILL YOU STOP LAUGHING!”

The goblins stopped and began to look at each other, then I began to walk closer to them.

“YOU THINK YOU’VE WON! YOU THINK I DON’T HAVE A WAY OUT OF THIS! WELL GUESS WHAT!”

Two of the goblins were shocked, one looked puzzled, one was impressed, and the fat one was hungry. I then turned my back on them, and ran!

“HERE IT GOES, BAAAANNNNNZZZZAAAAIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I jumped across the ravine, mainly because I wanted to look cool. If I die here, at least it’ll be in style. However, I made the jump! I surprised myself, even the goblins were shocked. So you already know what I had to do.

“HA! In your faces, take that you smelly goblins!”

I began to do my celebratory dance, and one of them got mad. I guess these things are like monkeys, because he jumped to make it across too! However, he didn’t know about the adrenaline I had or the kung fu videos I watched growing up. I pulled my right leg in and got into position, right when the green sucker was about to land I gave it a nasty surprise.

“DONKEY KICK!”

I punted the little joker into the ravine, I could hear it screaming as it fell.

“RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

That was awesome! My foot is killing me, but it was worth it. I looked up at the others, and they were terrified. They knew the outcome of what would happen if they followed me, I had the high ground in this situation. One of them began to go on a rampage, he tried to jump but his friend stopped him. One of them fell on his knees and cried, and the fat one began to do some weird moaning thing. Maybe it was their song of the dead? The goblins began to leave, but the guy who tried to come after me looked at me. He gave me the throat slit gesture and walked away, looks like I have a nemesis now. I sighed and walked into the new territory I’ve entered. After an hour of walking I finally saw it. The walled land where that castle resided, and now I realize how stupid I was being. What I saw wasn’t a town, it was a full blown city!

****

BAD LUCK COUNTER: 5