This is why you should never trust gatekeepers!

Finally, at long last I’ve finally reached a human settlement. It goes without saying how I react to this.

“I’M FFFFRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY SUFFERING IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS MY ERA NOW, YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I yelled this as I ran through the grassy plains, and towards the wall of the city. That’s also when I realized something, how the heck was I supposed to get in this place? More than that, this is going to be my first interaction with people in this world. Will I even be able to comprehend what they’re saying? Don’t people in this situation usually get some language comprehension skills, wait a moment, do statuses even exist in this world?

“Let me try for a moment, STATUS APPEAR!”

I try to call out my status but nothing appeared, I then tried to do it with my thoughts but once again nothing. No way, this world doesn’t have a status system. How does one level up? Matter of fact the only thing I feel right now is fatigue, even after I won against Charlotte during the second night and that goblin from an hour ago. I don’t even want to remember that spi-CHARLOTTE! Just think of that children’s book, I’ll call her that name! That said, what the heck am I supposed to do? Well, guess I have no choice but to wing it. With that in mind I began to walk over to the wall and tried to fix my outfit to appear as normal as possible.

****

Finally there I was, standing before the entrance to the walled city. I began to take in the wall before me, including what sat at the top of the wall. At the top of it stood archers at the ready, along with a ballista with a sharpened log already set. Around the giant gate leading inside stood guards, the weapons the each carried varied. I almost questioned why this place was so heavily guarded, but that’s when I noticed something. There was a banner hanging about the gate, it had the same insignia as the flag that stood at the top of the wall. The insignia was of a woman holding a rose, almost as if she coveted it. The design was beautiful, I found myself mesmerized by it. At least that was the case until I heard a voice.

“Hey, what the heck are you standing around for!?!”

I looked back down to see a knight with a spear walking towards me, so much for a first impression. I closed the gap between us and tried to introduce myself.

“Hello my name is Sot-”

“Why on earth do you look like that?”

I couldn’t help but scratch my head, how do I even answer him? I’ve been chased by goblins, lost my shoes to an orc, and I even almost got eaten by a giant spider. Goddess Fianna, are you sure no other divines have it out for me? I found myself sighing as I prepared to tell the knight my story.

“Well to start off, I just came out of that forest behind me.”

“Forest behind...Wait, you mean “That” forest?”

The knight began pointing towards the forest that I came out of, I nodded my head as a response. The knight’s face was covered by his helmet, but based on his silence I could tell he was puzzled by something. The knight then pulled out a whistle and blew into it, immediately an arrow came flying towards me.

“WHA-”

The arrow pierced the ground in front of me, I took a moment to look at it and upon lifting my gaze I found myself surrounded by knights.

“W-WAIT! What’s going on!?!”

“Don’t play dumb with us, you got those weird clothes and claim that you just came out of the Rosarian Forest. You must think we’re stupid, you’re clearly a monster in disguise!”

“WHAT!”

No way, am I ugly or something? Why on earth do these guys think I’m a monster! Still, I need to get them on my side somehow.

“Please listen, I’m not a monster!”

“Really, then what proof do you have?”

“Tell me, how would a monster be able to perfectly mimic human speech?”

“...You raise a good point. Hey fellas! What do you guys think?”

The knight looked back to his friends asking for their opinion. All of the armored men began looking like they were in deep thought, that’s when one of them gasped.

“What’s up Cameron? You look pale all of a sudden.”

“Uh, I just realized what this guy could be.”

“Really, and what would that be?”

“HE’S A ZOMBIE! HE MUST BE, JUST LOOK AT HIM!”

…What? I’m a zombie, there’s no way these guys are gonna-

““““AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! ZOMBIE!!!!”””””

YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS! You all really think that me, with my handsome face, is an undead! I have good looks, I know I do, my own mother said it herself.

“You guys I’m not a zombie I swear.”

“That’s exactly what a zombie would say!”

“Just listen, look at me. Do I look like death to you?”

The knights gave me a good look for a moment, and then responded.

““““You look like you got kicked dead by or horse””””

“Huh!?!”

Ouch, that hurts, I know I look like a beggar right now but I’m innocent I swear. Before I could respond again, one of the knights walked up to me and came in close.

“Uh, can I help you sir?”

“...”

The knight rejoined the group, and covered the face guard of his helmet with his hand. He than began to point at me with his other hand.

“He may not have the face of a dead guy, but his clothes say otherwise. Not to mention, his smell! I just went over to confirm, and this guy smells like-”

“WAIT A MINUTE, THAT’S RUDE!”

First my clothes and now my smell, momma did you lie to me? Because these men in suits just love bullying me! I tried to keep myself from crying, but that’s when one of those guys seemed to have an epiphany about something.

“Wait a minute, what if this guy’s telling the truth. What if he’s not a zombie?”

His fellow knights started looking at him, finally I might get the benefit of a doubt. Was what I hoped until that guy opened his mouth again.

“What if this guy is one of them?”

“Huh?”

What does this guy mean by “One of them”? However, after he said that, all the knights stared at me. It was like I was receiving death glares from behind their helmets. What am I supposed to be? The men prepared their weapons, almost looking like they were about to finish me on the spot. However, the one that approached me first had other plans.

“PREP THE INTERROGATION ROOM! WE’RE TAKING THIS GUY IN!”

“WWWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

At this point in time I couldn’t hold my tears back anymore! I’m getting arrested for no reason! CURSE YOU BAD LUCK! Soon the knights began to enclose me, I wanted to run but I knew they’d snipe me on the spot. I simply put my hands up and started to cry, before you ask if it wasn't out of fear. It was to catch them off guard and-

“MOMMY! PWWEEAASEE! THESE MEAN MEN WANT TO TAKE ME!!!!”

“Your mother can’t save you now boy! Prep the muzzle, I don’t wanna even hear this guy’s voice. Let alone smell his breath!”

…Okay, I admit it, I’m scared. The knights brought out some kind of muzzle and put it on me. They then grabbed my arms and carried me away, like I was some kind of criminal. Momma, your boy is going behind bars, please forgive me! Also, Miss Fianna, are you absolutely sure none of the higher powers hate me!

****

BAD LUCK COUNTER: 6