My boring life as a mercenary
This chapter is an extra made up of small everyday situations and curiosities involving Kireng, his teammates, and Litte Clove’s residents. It's not required to understand the story.
Evening, at the apartment:
I'm sitting in front of the table with my smartphone in hand. I look around to confirm that no one is home. Looks clear. As far as I know, everyone is outside, except for Loser. But right now, he is locked inside our room, working again.
- Good, finally some time for myself. - I whispered while looking at my phone, excited.
You know what that means, right? There's only one thing a young man alone at home can do in a situation like this, especially with the surprisingly good internet connection we have. That thing is…
WATCHING HIS FAVORITE V-TUBER WITHOUT BEING AFRAID OF HIS FAMILY’S JUDGMENT, OF COURSE!
- Claymore-chan, here I come!
I opened her stream and, it looks like it has already started. It's been a while since her last stream, so I'm looking forward to it. I wonder what she has prepared for us today?
When I was about to pay attention to what Claymore-chan was doing, a sudden noise caught my attention. I quickly looked around the apartment, and everything seems the same. Wait... Is that Joe laying down on the sofa? Was he there before?
Well, it doesn't matter. I know Joe won't judge me and understands the difference between appreciating a good stream and-
The lights went out for a second and then turned back on. What was that?
- Hey, Joe. Do you know if there’s a problem with the wiring?
No answer. I looked in the direction he was, and Joe is sitting on the floor leaning his back on the sofa with his face down.
- Do you understand, guys? AP mines are way more dangerous and lethal than movies or games show you. When you step on one, it's over. There won't be any kind of visible or audible warning. It will explode before you could even realize it. If you want to be a good soldier and not die like an idiot, you must inform yourself properly and never trust Hollywood! - Claymore-chan said in her stream.
Dammit, I lost her explanation thanks to-
The lights went off again. They went back on after two or three seconds this time. I looked around once again, and Joe is laying down on the floor. Is he… getting closer?
-However, ALWAYS remember. Despite everything I teach you during my streams, that doesn't mean you are ready to handle explosives or use a gun. These are not toys! You need to be of legal age and have a good amount of training to learn-
One more time, the lights went off, but they didn't come back. All I want is to watch Claymore-chan in peace... I got up and went to the switch that's near me, in the kitchen, using my phone's lantern to see. When I clicked it, the lights turned back on normally.
I was about to go back to where I was sitting when I noticed Joe is sitting there. Is this a horror movie now? I turned the switch off and, after a few seconds, turned it back on. Joe now is on the floor again, very close to me. Now I'm curious to see where this is going. I did it again, but when I turned the lights back on, Joe disappeared. I looked around, and I can't find him.
No answer. Where is he? Oh, I get it. He's hiding somewhere, and next time he'll try to surprise or scare me somehow, right? I prepared myself and turned the lights off and on once again. Nothing. I walked around the apartment, and Joe's nowhere. I tried to turn off and on the lights a few more times, and nothing happened again. Am I going crazy?
I looked behind me, and Joe is back to his initial position, laying down on the sofa. I stared at him for a few minutes.
So... There's no gag this time?
Near Little Clove’s biggest hospital:
A small dog was walking alone down the street when it smelled something that interested it nearby. The dog headed for the scent and found a bowl full of high-quality dog food near the hospital entrance. There was also a bowl of water.
First, it made sure that there was no danger nearby and approached the food. Then, it sniffed the food for a few seconds, and it started eating.
- YOU CUTE LITTLE THING, YOU FELL FOR IT!
A huge man crossing his arms like an "X" and wearing doctor clothes appeared out of nowhere. He's jumping right towards the small dog. The animal obviously noticed his scream and dodged in time. The man landed like a superhero.
- Oho... So you are quick on your reaction, my cute friend. Impressive. - he said as he stood up and straightened his coat. - I see no collar and no other puppy with you, so that means... Are you perhaps by yourself?
- Woof! Woof! - the dog got in a defensive position and tried to intimidate the man.
- Say it, dear puppy. - the man offered his hand to the dog while smiling. - Would you mind coming with me?
The dog bit him. Hard.
- So brave! - tears start to run down from his eyes. You can't exactly tell if it's from emotion or pain. - Seeing such a precious little creature like you not being frightened despite the adversities of this world is so beautiful!
The man tried to pet the animal with his other hand, but after noticing that its bite had no effect and seeing a big hand coming for his head, the dog ran away in fear.
- Wait, no! Please come back! - the man started chasing it.
- Doctor Mitchell, what are you doing? Your patient is waiting for his- Ah.
A nurse came out of the hospital searching for the doctor and saw him chasing a little dog. They are running around the hospital.
- I'm not getting paid enough for this. Doctor Mitchel, you have a patient waiting for you, and you are scaring the patients and their visits.
- It's okay! They do not understand the importance of puppies in medical treatment! Give me five minutes! - Mitchell said without losing his pace.
Another nurse noticed all the commotion and got curious.
- Since I'm new here, I didn't know this hospital also treated mental patients.
- We don't. - the first nursed said while doing a facepalm.
- Really? Who is he then?
- The director of this hospital...
-And also... - she's looking at the doctor with lifeless eyes. - my husband.
- Hello everyone! Welcome to our first "My Boring Life as a Mercenary's Q&A"! My name is Loser, and I'll be your first host. - he said, smiling.
- Who are you talking to? - I asked while trying to find someone in the direction Loser is looking. - Are you trying to break the fourth wall again? You know that's supposed to be my trait only, right?
- Okay! -he ignored me. - Our first question is a good one! How do you guys keep your shape and train for possible missions?
- I'm pretty sure no one ever asked about that.
- The answer is simple. Since we can't afford a gym for everyone and there are some specific training activities people may call the police if they see us doing, we use a vacant lot in a place further away from the city. There, we gathered some trash and old materials that people no longer need and use them, for example, to exercise and train our aim! - he is pointing his finger up while explaining. - But of course, we do not shoot with our firearms. Guns are loud, and bullets are expensive, after all!
- You gotta be kidding me. Why did you never tell me about this place? I was training like a fool all by myself this whole time!
- Second question! - you won't mind if I hit it once, right? - Why would a world-renowned mercenary group like Black Stream bother to train a nobody like Kireng and other recruits when they could easily get more qualified agents?
- Hey, Loser. Can you give me the name of the person that made this question? I wanna have a small chat with him.
- Now that you say it, I have no idea. - he shrugged.
-You idiot! Of course there's a reason! If you say it like that, the readers will think that's a plot hole!
- Now for our last question! - already? - Isn't that story supposed to have some romance?
- Is it?
- You guys don't need to worry about that. In fact, in the-
- That's a spoiler, you moron! How do you even know what's going to happen?
- Well, I guess that's it for today! I hope you all enjoyed it and I'll see you all in the next Q&A!
- We are definitely not doing this again.