Near Death, Zero Experience

After separating myself from the pick-up party, it was time to eat. Eventually, finding a particularly tasty-looking café, I ducked in for a ye olde club sandwich and cup of what this world called coffee, which was pretty watered down.

Sitting on a second-level balcony, I enjoyed my breakfast while washing it down with coffee topped up with a healing potion. After a particularly big gulp, I lifted up my shirt and glanced over the wounds from the previous battle, marvelling one last time over the miracle of magical healing. Deep gashes were healed instantly, smoothed over without scarring, as though they had never happened.

Earth could sure use these, especially since a little goes a long way. But I guess that’s why they wouldn’t have it. Someone would just patent it and sell it at a ludicrous price that only millionaires could afford.

A scream from below caught my attention. Quickly peeking my head over the balcony, I watched a Second Year with red hair running away from an intersection. Behind her, a pair of corgsquitoes chased, their bellies empty and stance revealing an aggressive hunger.

“Well, time to get back to work,” I muttered to myself, raising the quarterstaff to my shoulder. “These bad guys aren’t gonna bonk themselves.”

Jumping from the balcony to the road, I landed three-point hero style. And as I stood, confident with myself and my capabilities after a week of killing vermin, I felt a blast of hot, foul breath rush over me. The heavy huff tussled my white hair and plastered it with a thick mucus.

Slowly, I looked up at the snout of a massive creature that had rounded the corner behind me.

“Oh—crap,” I muttered softly. “She was running from you, huh?”

I jumped back as two heavy paws swiped for me. Managing to deflect the first with my staff, the second cut across my gut. Claws like razor-sharp daggers ripped open my belly as I instinctively grabbed at the tatters of cloth and flesh.

“Again?!” I cursed, stumbling as I rushed away from the beast, hand on my bloody belly.

Focusing on a healing spell, my hands glowed, and the once fatal wound closed enough to slow the bleeding. But I wasn’t given a chance of relief as sharp teeth clamped down around my ankle, pulling my feet out from under me.

With a tumble to the ground, my head hit the pavement in a loud crack. But my world didn’t go black. Instead, I watched through wobbling vision and points of light as the beast reared its head up for a second bite.

Its maw bit into my left thigh and, instantly, I felt a pulse of burning precede heavy numbness that raced from the wound in all directions.

I gently pivoted my head to see what I knew to be true—

I was turning to stone.

Watching in frozen horror as the six legs of the creature climbed over me and approached the top of my body, the realization that there was nothing I could do began to sink in. It looked down and sniffed at my head as I could feel the sharp teeth beginning to grip around my skull.

“Not this way,” I cried out as the stone reached my lungs, and the last of the air fled my lips.

As my final moments came to pass, I watched through the teeth of the monster at the quickly darkening sky above. With a clap of thunder, a bolt of lightning arced toward me, and my world went dark.

ooo

KR-PEW!

I looked up from the sight of the rifle and stared down range at the limp rabbit. My heart ached as I watched the brown fur stain with red.

“Good shot, son.” My dad replied, patting my shoulder as he took the rifle from my hands. “You may actually be good at this.”

“Dad…” I muttered as we walked over to the heap of fur. “I don’t want to do this.”

It was my spring break from middle school, and while all the other kids were getting together, having sleepovers, and enjoying the lengthening daylight, I was on the family ranch.

Dad grabbed the rabbit by the hind legs and lifted it up. Blood dripped from the body, splashing into the pool beneath it.

My shot had been dead on, hitting the creature center mass and ending its life instantly. Likely painless, but I couldn’t help but feel my heart break as I looked away.

“Can’t do what? Shoot vermin?” He forced the corpse into my hands.

I flinched, immediately dropping it. This was the wrong move.

“Tahvin, listen.” He grabbed me by the back of the neck and directed me towards the countless acres of farmland. “You see that? That’s money. That’s how we afford to give you the best education available. The best tutors. The best clothes. Those pests mean less for you.”

He pulled me back to face him and shoved the rifle into my arms.

“Real men hunt.” He scolded me. “If a wolf was coming for you, would you just lie down and let it eat you?”

“Maybe—”

The man growled as he rubbed at his face. Grabbing me again by the back of the neck, he pushed me towards the field.

“No, you wouldn’t. Now go do your job and kill the vermin cutting into our profit. Or else—”

He raised a hand, and I instinctively flinched.

“Ahh!” I shouted as the nightmare woke me with a start.

My voice echoed through the marble hall of the familiar medical ward.

“What the hell?” I asked, looking around the room for a moment before sitting up. “Two in one day?! That’s—fuggin’ bunnies.”

Usually, there was a nurse here monitoring the students. But currently, it seemed I was alone.

Looking myself over for a moment, I confirmed I was in one piece before standing and reaching for the edge of the bed. Accustomed to this process, I grabbed for the small clipboard and glanced at my chart.

Yep, that was a basilisk that got me. I thought to myself, as the memories flowed back. The rooftop, the hero landing, and the basilisk attack.

Flipping the sheet, I looked over the intake form, noticing a name. A Second Year student who had brought me into the infirmary.

Rionriv Singlemoon. Did you drag my petrified ass all the way here?

“What are you doing up?” The nurse cried out as she approached.

Quickly putting the chart down, I looked over at the long white gown of the approaching woman as she continued her lecture. “You should be resting, Mister Ishara.”

“Sorry, I woke up and was confused,” I said, sitting back on the bed. “But I think I’m all better.”

Stepping up to me, the nurse placed a hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes intently. She muttered an incantation under her breath, and as she did, her eyes flashed a snowy white. A sudden cool sensation from her fingertips crept through my body as she caressed my cheek. A moment later, as her eyes returned to normal, she removed her hand and crossed her arms.

“You do appear to be better, so I’ll clear you to leave the infirmary, but I recommend another day or two of rest. You were on the edge of life and death for nearly a week after all.”

“Okay, I will do that; thank you!” I turned from the nurse and began to rush out.

Holy crap, a week?! I missed a week of training—damn it!

“Goodbye, Mister Ishara,” The nurse called after me. “Be careful. I don’t want to see you back here again.”

“Yeah, I-I’ll do my best,” I said softly, exhaling a shallow breath before rushing from the hall. "Thanks!"

Flinging open the door, I stopped in my tracks.

Standing before me were three figures. A familiar elf-groundling duo with another—a woman of fiery red hair and deep mocha skin.