Confess your sins

“I'll tell her,” I said before he got drunk on his own gloating. “After you've moved her away from the edge.”

“You're worried about her being over here?” He placed a hand on her shoulder and Toshi flinched, looking more like the child I remembered than the young adult who had carried me to the safety of Aoto's garden. “For someone who somehow managed to crawl back out of the Jaw, you're really not as clever as I thought you'd be. Do you really think I'd throw my own niece into a place like that?”

“Who knows?” I replied icily, bracing myself for the tidal waves of Toshi's trauma. “Her own father did much worse than that to her.”

“You don't know what you're talking about,” he snarled.

“Do you?” I asked. The wave of her pain seemed to made of acid rain, searing into my skin, as she looked away from me, mesmerised by memories she didn't deserve to dwell on. “Is that because you helped him do it? Is that why she ran to a stranger, another child, rather than the uncle who should have protected her from his own brother.”

“I never –”

“What? Are you saying you didn't know?” I smirked, the expression lodged like a foreign body in my face. “How neglectful.”

“Shut up, you damned wench!” he moved towards me but the man beside him grasped his elbow. “Let go of me! I'll silence that witch once and for all.”

“Aren't you forgetting something?” The leader sounded like the same person Aoto had confronted outside his mansion last night. “She can't confess her sins if she's dead.”

“I don't need her to confess – argh!” Ras tripped over his walking stick as the spokesperson of the Inquisitors pushed him aside.

“Well, I do,” he said, grabbing Toshi by the arm instead and turning back towards me. “Shizuka, is it? My name is Eiken. I never thought I would meet the legendary killer herself like this. Thank you so much for coming here alone and not causing any more trouble for us.”

“I would say the pleasure is all mine but that would be a lie,” I said as my palms heated up and Toshi's sense of betrayal burrowed into my bones like worms, disgusting and unforgettable.

“It wouldn't be the first time you've lied though, would it?” he said in the same creepy voice. “And before you even think of using your Trioling powers against me, just remember that I'm not this girl's uncle and her life doesn't mean that much to me.”

“What? That wasn't part of the deal,” barked Ras from where he had landed on the ground. “Get your hands off my niece.”

“Silence.” The head Inquisitor nodded and two of his men restrained Ras, ignoring his furious yelling. “I promised you a front row seat to Shizuka's death and I'm about to deliver that to you now. How dare you act as though an Outer Town insect like you has the right to demand anything from me?”

He was only a few steps away. Could I possibly reach him before his guards stopped me? Did I have enough power and control to melt them all and save Toshi at the same time?

“Never though I'd agree with Ras but her life also means a lot to me,” I said. “So what do you want for it?”

“First, I want you to switch places with me and this lady here,” said Eiken, pulling Toshi to her feet. “Can you do that for me?”

I circled towards the Jaw and tried my best not to pay attention to it, focusing on Toshi's face as she stumbled after him. There was no point hoping for forgiveness from someone who had no reason to forgive me. I shuddered as I turned my back on the canyon and placed my hand against the Spiritless Tree, unable to believe I was in this exact spot once again. How did someone end up like that three times over? Had I cursed myself in a life before this one?

The warmth of the bark threw me off balance, a sensation I had experienced only once before, and as did the sight of the cherry blossoms hanging from random branches. Far from the magnificence of the tree I had seen before I died but apparently bearing more life than the people of Nippo had seen in decades. I needed to know what had changed to trigger such a monumental event but there was a good chance that I never would.

I was distracted from the miracle by the two people creating the fog, who stopped and turned their palms towards me in unison. I had a feeling they could produce more than just vaporised water and almost welcomed the thought of being turned into an icicle. The cold would surely soothe the burn marks of Toshi's disappointment in me.

“That's great,” said the leader. “Now I'd like you to confess your sins for all of us to hear.”

“I was born a human, not an angel,” I said, rubbing the goosebumps on my arms. “Sinning is part of our nature so you're going to have to be a bit more specific.”

Eiken splayed his palm in Toshi's direction and I jumped as the tip of a sharpened spike that appeared to be made from bone stopped inches from her temple. She barely reacted to it, still trying to claw her way out of the memory pit I had thrown her into.

“Did you really kill Ras' brother a decade ago?” he asked.

I swallowed but answered loud and clear, hoping she wouldn't hear me. “I did.”

“Why?”

“Because he was planning to break the contract he signed and kidnap her again with his friends,” I replied. “And anyone else unlucky enough to be there at the time. I couldn't let him do that.”

Toshi blinked several times and then lifted her head, searching for the truth in my eyes despite the distance between us.

“What about all of those other people who went missing?” asked Eiken. “Did you kill them too?”

“That's right.” The confession opened up the flow of my thoughts as if each one untied a knot that lay deep in my brain and I wondered if this had anything to do with the tumour I had on earth. The one that would have taken me down if the car hadn't beat it to the punch.

“Why?”

“Because they needed to be stopped too, just like Toshi's dad, and no one else was doing anything about it.” Righteous rage slipped into my lungs like smoke and I coughed to clear it before it could choke me to death.

“Did you try to kill Ras back then too?”

“I did,” I replied.

Relief and anger played across the aforementioned man's face like shadow puppets during a haunting performance. After many years, he had finally been granted the validation he needed to move on from my attack and the affect it had on him was mind-blowing in its complexity. He looked pleased about being right but also like he wanted to cry because he was. My fingertips tingled.

“Why?” asked Eiken.

The fog around him started to dissipate and I could see the glee on his reptilian features.

“Because he was investigating me,” I said, fighting to keep my tone flat even though a warm sensation started to accompany my words. “And I couldn't let anyone find out about my secret.”

“You were willing to take the life of an innocent man just to make sure no one found out about what you were doing?” He covered his smile with his fingertips. “How awful.”

“I wasn't sure he was innocent,” I shot back. My throat felt swollen from all the swallowing. “I'm still not sure, to be honest.”

“Why were you so protective of your secret?” He pressed me, ignoring Ras' indignant yell. “Was it because you were scared of the guards? Or was it because you didn't want your friends to know who you truly were?”

“I wouldn't have had to kill anyone in Inner Town if the guards had done their jobs properly,” I said and fire flickered across my voice. “Instead of turning a blind eye for the sake of their own comfort.”

“So it doesn't concern you then?” he asked. “It doesn't matter if your friends know what you did? Is that because they helped you with your plans.”

“No,” I said at once. “None of them had anything to do with it.”

“Good,” crooned Eiken. “It would be a shame if they had to die for a crime they didn't commit.”

“What do you –?” One of the Inquisitors beside me swept his arm in the direction of his leader and my question leapt to its death as the fog cleared.

Revealing Tatsuya, Washi, Kohaku, and Yor who carried Yua in his arms. I didn't need to ask if they had heard everything and I wanted to throw up as their combined shock and horror struck me in the stomach like a merciless fist but I couldn't move. The fog hadn't just been there to conceal the Inquisitor's numbers after all.

“Shizu?” began Kohaku, her steady gaze strangely lost. “Was that –?”

“It's true,” I said shakily, getting rid of the temptation to defend myself, cutting the string of the kite shaped like my future. “All of it.”

“You're not just saying that to save Toshi, are you?” asked Yor. His trademark smile was gone and I wasn't sure if I would ever come back. “Did they make you say it?”

I shook my head and waited for the others to react. It was over. The secret was out and, unless two miracles happened today, I had no future here either. But Yua simply whispered something into Yor's ear and he passed her over to a very distracted-looking Washi. Tatsuya just stared at me with the same unsteady brightness behind his eyes and a solemn expression.

“Now that everyone is here, let's move on to the main part of the show, shall we?” suggested Eiken, who still had Toshi held hostage. “You have two choices.”

As much as I loved being able to have a choice, which was more than I had ever had while I lived as Sheila, this scenario was starting to annoy me.

“Let me guess,” I drawled as a ringing noise filled my ears. “I either jump or I watch you hurt the others and then die anyway.”

“See, Ras?” said the lead Inquisitor. “She is clever.”

“You and that other guard both had similar ideas, even though it happened so long ago” I said. “Is that because you two knew each other? Or is it because you were both inspired by the same person?”

“I think that's enough questions for today,” he replied but his gaze darted in the direction I expected it to. “I'm sure you've decided what to do by now.”

“I have.” I paused in the middle of turning towards the Jaw and Tatsuya didn't fail me.

“Shizu, don't!” he exclaimed, stopping in the middle of his rush towards me and looking down at his hands. “What?”

“What's wrong?” asked Kohaku.

“I can't change into a dragon,” he said, despair trickling down from his scalp to his feet. “Why isn't it working?”

“I'm sure Yua and Yor have lost their powers too,” I said, continuing after Yua nodded at me. I braced myself for the next wave of treachery-induced emotions. “You might want to ask Washi why that is.”

“What?” The two brothers said simultaneously, exchanging a glance before looking back at me.

“I want to ask him why he forged letters with my handwriting,” I said, clenching my hands. “But you might want to ask him what exactly he put in your tea this afternoon.”