Chapter 3:

That's not a knife

The Yowie Hunt Revival


Though faced with a horrific hell, should I fail to find a fucking yowie, this experience did yield me some kind of benefit as I was able to procure the frog's shot gun and somehow hold it despite having paws.

"Whatcha got, mate?" Dumbee asked as he waddled over.

I responded by trying to blast his head off, however, the gun appeared to be out of ammo.

"That's not a knife mate. Won't do ya any good out here," Dumbee frowned.

I sadly had to concede Dumbee had a point. If this thing truly was out of ammo, it was nothing more than a giant club. A knife probably would be better for self defense.

"Alright, I'll give you some help. Since you don't have a pouch, here's an item box," Richelieu's voice rang out.

A screen labeled, "item box" appeared before me.

"I'll also enchant the gun. Now you have unlimited ammo, and you'll be able to hold and shoot it proper. And that's all I have for you. Bye Bitch!"

I quickly tested out my new weapon. It wasn't bad, but I had to still get used to wielding it in my new kangaroo body.

After some practicing, Dumbee and I continued on our journey, with surprisingly little banter until nightfall hit.

"So do we camp?"

"Kangaroos don't camp mate. That's what humans like me do," Dumbee grinned as he began setting up a tent.

"I used to be a human you know."

"Nah, you're a kangaroo mate."

"Ever hear of reincarnation?"

"That a flower mate?"

"NO! I mean you die and get reborn as something else."

"But no one dies out here mate."

"Um, the frog got eaten, and there were skeletons."

"That counts as dying? Never knew mate. So why didn't they get reincarnated?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

We ended up going back and forth on the topic until morning. When we finally moved on, I was sleep deprived. I also lost a total of 34 brain cells over the course of our conversation.

As we traveled, we suddenly were surrounded by men wielding scimitars.

"Nomads mate! They got some of the nastiest knives around," Dumbee warned as the nomads surrounded us.

"Shit, they're too close to shoot. Got a knife, Dumbee?" I asked as a bead of sweat began to trickle down my face.

"Yeah, I got a knife," Dumbee smiled as he pulled out a very large hunting knife that was so big, it looked more like a sword.

He then spun around and sliced all the nomads, as well as me.

*Roux lost 69 brain cells in order to revive*

"THE HELL! I JUST DIED YOU IDIOT!"

"But you reincarnated, mate."

"This is more like respawn- Oh forget it!"

*Roux lost 1 brain cell*

We traveled some more and encountered more nomads. This time, I ducked to the ground as Dumbee spun round and round. However, he tripped over me before he killed all the nomads and we both got stabbed to death. It hurt like hell.

Luckily, we respawned a little distance away from the nomads.

*Roux lost 70 brain cells to revive himself and Dumbee*

Dumbee then charged at them, while I stayed and watched from afar. He somehow managed to beat them with his stupidity. We then proceeded onward until we found a small town surrounded by sand.

"The hell is this? A mirage?" I asked.

"My rage? I ain't angry mate," Dumbee smiled.

"NO an illusion, like it doesn't really exist, but it looks like it does."

"What's that mate?"

I facepalmed and lost 2 brain cells.

Sure enough, as we got closer, the image faded.

"Yep, it was a mirage."

"Nah mate, this is just normal ground," Dumbee chuckled.

*Roux lost 1 brain cell*

Suddenly, Dumbee went on guard. "Oh Shit, mate! He's here! The nomad king!"

I turned to see some nomads carrying a large fat nomad sitting on a throne. The large man leapt into the air and gracefully flipped around before landing perfectly with his sword drawn.

If I wasn't in such a bad mood, I'd have been impressed at his world class acrobatics.

"I am the king of nomads! You and your pet will die Mr. Zoologist," the nomad king declared as he twirled his scimitar around.

Dumbee pulled out his knife and prepared for battle.

BANG!

Not wanting to deal with this bullshit, I had whipped out my shot gun and killed the nomad king instantly.

The nomads ran off in fear as Dumbee put his knife away. "Why'd ya do that, mate?" he asked.

"Cause I'm tired of this shit," I growled as I hopped over to the nomad king's corpse.

After confirming he was dead, I looted him of his scimitar and valuables. Perhaps they might come in handy later.

After that, we continued on our journey.

"He have any Vegemite on him? I'm getting hungry, mate," Dumbee smiled.

"NO! HE DIDN'T!" 

I somehow lost a brain cell from all my shouting. Where's anger management therapy when you need it? 

Ze
icon-reaction-1
MyAnimeList iconMyAnimeList icon