Chapter 15: A Scythe, a Smile, and a Stalker

Our party was now complete. We were a bizarre, dysfunctional family of misfits, and somehow, we were making it work. We'd even managed to complete a few quests without causing any major property damage (Chloe's 'mostly harmless' explosions notwithstanding). We were celebrating our recent promotion to F-rank (a momentous step up from F-minus) in the Beginner's ville guild hall.

"To us!" Rina roared, raising her mug of ale. "The weirdest, most chaotic, and surprisingly effective adventuring party in Mundania!"

Chloe giggled, accidentally knocking over a salt shaker which, to my immense relief, did not explode. Luna smiled and raised her juice, while her Grimoire grumbled about the low quality of the tavern's magical ambient lighting. Even Kenta looked proud, basking in his role as the leader of our little circus. For a moment, things felt… normal. Happy, even.

And then, the room went cold.

It wasn't a physical chill, but a deep, profound cold that seemed to suck the warmth and sound out of the air. The cheerful tavern music faded into silence. The rowdy laughter of the other adventurers died in their throats. Everyone, from the barmaid to the grizzled F-rankers, froze in place like statues.

Everyone except me.

My heart hammered against my ribs. I knew this feeling. It was the presence of a being far beyond this mortal plane. A shadow fell over our table, and a man was suddenly standing there, a man who hadn't been there a second before.

He was tall and unnervingly handsome, with hair as black as a starless night and eyes the color of amethyst. He wore sleek, impeccably tailored black robes that looked more suited for a high-fashion runway than a fantasy world. A magnificent, obsidian-black scythe was slung casually over his shoulder. He looked around the frozen tavern with an amused, detached air, and then his eyes landed on me.

A slow, devastatingly charming smile spread across his face.

"Aka-chan," he said, his voice a smooth, playful baritone that sent a shiver of pure dread down my spine. "I finally found you. Playing mortal is a cute look for you, but honestly, the occasional mud-stains are a bit much, even for you."

My blood ran cold. I couldn't breathe. My dysfunctional party members were still frozen, but their eyes were wide, fixed on the newcomer. Kenta looked terrified. Rina looked ready for a fight she couldn't move to start.

"Isao," I breathed, my voice barely a whisper.

This was Isao. The God of Death. The one who personally processed my soul every single time I died. The one who, for the last three centuries, had been sending me increasingly annoying D-Mails, asking me out for "a cup of cosmic coffee." My celestial stalker had found me.

He chuckled, pulling up a chair and sitting down at our table as if he belonged there. The temporal freeze seemed to loosen its grip slightly, allowing my party to breathe and tremble.

"Who… who are you?" Kenta stammered, his bravado completely gone.

Isao completely ignored him, his amethyst eyes fixed on me. "Seventeen times, Aka-chan. I've processed your file seventeen times. The banana peel was my personal favorite. So much pathos. So much potassium." He leaned forward, propping his chin on his hand. "I have to say, though, this is the most interesting you've ever been. Getting yourself kidnapped by a gacha addict? Inspired. Truly."

He knew. Of course he knew everything.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Observing," he said with a lazy wave of his hand. "The paperwork in the Underworld is dreadfully boring. You, on the other hand, are a one-goddess calamity. I wouldn't miss this for the world. Or, you know, for all the worlds."

He finally acknowledged the others. "Don't mind me," he said with another charming smile that didn't reach his ancient, powerful eyes. "Pretend I'm not here. I'm just a tourist. Here to watch the show."

He leaned back, his scythe gleaming in the tavern's dim light, looking utterly relaxed. A god had just crashed our party. And not just any god. My own personal, infuriating, ridiculously handsome stalker.

My new life, which was already a chaotic mess, had just gotten infinitely more complicated.