Who is this woman?

Beep! beep! beep! beep!

I knew it! I shouldn't join in with Tadashi. Worst mistake of my life! that bastard will receive an earful from me later...   

Where the hell is my phone? as I tapped on the bed multiple times in hopes to find my phone however something feels off, Is this my pillow? Is it a bag? who knows! I just want my phone. So I tapped again but this is really strange, It feels.... Soft.

As I turned my body while my head still hurts from the amount of alcohol I have drunk from last night, I saw something quite unbelievable, there's a figure of a person but my eyes are blurry since I'm not wearing my glasses. I squint my eyes to double-check and it's a woman, and my hands are on her belly. So that was the soft semi boney object I was repeatedly tapping! Her hair is blonde and her hair is an absolute mess. it looks like she just lost a fight. Her dress shirt is white with some stains, Possibly vomit? alcohol? soy sauce? I don't know. Some of her buttons are undone and her shirt is all over the place. Untucked and unbuttoned..... WAIT! WHAT AM I SAYING?! WHO THE HELL IS THIS WOMAN ANYWAY?! WHY IS SHE IN MY BED?!

I gently put my arms on her arm slowly but gently waking her up.
"Excuse me! Hello! Miss"
Goddamn it this woman is not waking up, She is in deep slumber, I can even see her saliva dripping down her mouth to my bed. Disgusting.

"Miss!..... MISS!!!" I exclaimed loudly, This is getting ridiculous, I grabbed her arms and started violently shaking her in hopes that she will wake up. Her eyelids started to move and she made a little groan.

"Excuse me! Hello!, Miss? Who are you and why are you in my bed?" I exclaimed while extremely hungover and nauseous. 

She finally wakes up, Still with sleepy eyes rudely awaken. Her eyes gently open and I can still see her mascara all messed up. 

Blink.....Blink.....Blink...

She blinked multiple times. Finally, she's conscious! it took 5 minutes of varying shakes to get this woman to wake up. She must really be drunk last night but I don't care, I just want to know who she is, how did she end up in my place, Why is she in my bed, and for her to get the hell out.

As she regained back her consciousness she rubbed her eyes and saw me. Rubbed her eyes again but this time looked at me with squinting eyes. She blinked a couple of times while moving her head forward and her eyes suddenly widen. The horrified look on her face and especially her eyes as she realized she is in bed with an unknown man. She then proceeded to respond to my rude awakening with a right hook.

WHAM!

She took a frame from my wall and began throwing it at me again and the corner hits my elbow and it fucking hurt. I was yelling bloody murder because of the pain, While she stands there all scared and petrified holding her genitals. Never have I ever been more offended by a woman falsely accusing me of rape and drugging her when she is the one sleeping on my bed. I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS WOMAN!

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
she was about to grab my lamp and threw it at me but I yelled like an alpaca and told her to stop.

"Lady put that down! You have thrown every object in my room and my arms are already bruised up."
"Hold on.."
"Hold on what?..."
"Did we.... Did we do it?..."
"Do what?"
"SEX! DID WE DO IT?!"
" Lady I don't even remember you, Hell I know if we bumped uglies"
" You probably raped me huh? Bringing me in your bed while I'm unconscious and doing god knows what from my body"
" Woman! I would never rape anyone okay! I'm not that type of person! I don't know about you but consent is very sexy to me and I'm not an animal. The fact that you are accusing me of such a heinous act while you just proceeded to throw a lot of objects at me and assaulting me!"

I am absolutely livid at this point! I was desperately looking around the room praying to god that hopefully. HOPEFULLY! I don't find any condom wrapper and god forbid a used one too as I saw how this woman acts and I can't even imagine what she is capable of if I unintentionally impregnate her. Just the thought of it makes me shiver.

"it doesn't seem like it."
"Oh thank goodness!"

The horrified and disgusted look on her face suddenly disappears as she breathes a sigh of relief. 

"Okay Let's stay calm, first let's go to the living room and discuss...This. Agree?"
"Stay calm? STAY CALM?! You're the one who just threw shit at me without me explaining the situation!"
"It's because I thought you molested me, I'm sorry okay?"
" FINE! alright, let's go to the living room and discuss....this."
"You have coffee, right? Ïll has one. Thankssss <3"

The nerve of this goddamn woman I swear. Asking an unknown stranger in his own home for a cup of coffee after carpet bombing me with objects, Her shit-eating grin while demanding a coffee. If there are no laws for physical assault resulting in serious injury I would have beaten this woman and throw her on the Verdana.

 As we stumble to the living room extremely hungover, I went into the kitchen to prepare her Coffee as she walks through the room and lay on the couch with one of her socks missing and some of her shirt buttons still unbuttoned.

"Hey, Do you want milk or sugar or do you prefer it black," I asked her politely as I hear the crinkling sound of paper in her direction.

"Ki..... Kiyoshi."
"Hmm?"
As I stir her coffee plotting to possibly spit on her drink to get back at her I find it odd how her voice trembled as she calls my name...... she.... calls....my... name. HOLD ON! HOW DOES SHE KNOW MY NAME?! 

I let go of the spoon and turned back and looked in her direction and I saw her holding a paper.
"How did you know my name? I haven't told you yet."
"Kiyoshi..... I..... I don't think that is the issue here. We have a bigger problem in our hands."
"Well? What is it?"

She handed me the papers as her hand trembles. It's a marriage license. and she is holding two pairs of golden rings. Wait a minute, Is my name written in there? I might be seeing things due to this wicked hangover but let's close our eyes for a second and re-read the paper, Just to make sure. JUST TO MAKE SURE! I took a deep breath, and exhaled and open my eyes and read the paper.

Name of the groom: Kiyoshi Satou, Name of the bride: Kana Miyazaki.

Uh-Oh! This is not good. DID WE JUST GOT MARRIED?! WHILE DRUNK?! 
I looked at the unknown woman named Kana and she is staring at the floor unable to process the information with hands on her head and covering her mouth.

My mind is firing with different emotions, Confusion, Disbelief, Shocked and not in a good way. Suddenly I started believing in god. I have this unbelievable urge to just pray and beg for this form to be somehow fake.

"God and to any other god out there, Please. I beg of you, Please make this form be fake. I will practice any religion and devote myself to you if I you tell me this is bullshit and just a joke made by Tadashi... Please I beg of you....."

As I do a hail Mary attempt to wish to make this form a joke... It has to be right? no one in their right mind would register two drunk people.

The woman just suddenly regained her consciousness and snapped back to reality. Welcome back I guess? she sat down on the couch and accidentally sat on the remote which promptly turns on the television in the room.

Both of us are unable to process this news so we just both stand there in silence and suddenly I hear voices from the Television saying talking about the prime minister and I heard the word  " The bill is enacted" My eyes widen as I remember our new marriage laws and I whipped my head towards the TV so fast that I almost give myself a neck injury, concussion, and a possible whiplash. 

"For the past couple of years, we have gone through a lot. We have averted a possible extinction of our population and through drastic and radical changes we averted the crisis and now we have a sudden boom in the birth rate and marriage rate. We have fixed the problem, However as one problem is solved another one arises. A game of catch and mouse I suppose. The meaning of marriage. Nowadays marriage is used as a tool. only to legally be married to get incentives from the government and that's it. We have an astronomical amount of marriage fraud. This has to change, With the bill passed by parliament, we gladly introduce to you the New Marriage and comprehensive divorce act.

Now, what is this law you may ask? To bring back the meaning of union and sanctity of marriage we reverted the marriage process back to where it was 20 years ago and now we have a heightened restriction on divorce. Let's make this work. Let's bring back the meaning in Marriage and treat it as a union between two loving individuals and not because it will be financially advantageou-"

Reporter: And that was the word of our Prime Minister Yoshino talking about the new Bill that will be enforced today at 12:30 pm. Now on to the new topic of the new up-

I grabbed the remote and turned it off. and she calmly asked,

"Kiyoshi... What time is it."
"12.... 12:10" I calmly muttered while my voice trembled silently
"And how far is the Registry office from here"
"Roughly, 20 mins"
"Kiyoshi. GRAB THE FUCKING CERTIFICATE! WE HAVE TO DIVORCE THIS! LET'S GO LET'S GO!"

She jolted up the couch and suddenly tidying her clothes, She buttons up her shirt and tucked it in her orange pinkish office skirt, I ran to the bedroom getting my keys and wallet and desperately searching for my phone and glasses from the sea of scattered objects lying on the floor and bed from the bullshit Kana did. I found my keys and my glasses and time to find my phone. My phone is ringing but I don't know where it's coming from. Kana is yelling from the living room telling me to hurry up and I kicked the picture frame and there it is my phone. I picked it up and suddenly saw Tadashi calling me. What is his deal! I don't have the time to answer it so I ran towards the door and accidentally slipped and banged my face against the wall and it fucking hurts! Kana keeps telling me to hurry so I grabbed my blazer and rushed through the genkan to wear my shoes.

I took my shoes from the floor and began wearing my socks. I finished quickly and was telling her to hurry. This made me realize that this is like the military. I can almost imagine a drill Sargeant screaming at the top of his lungs and calling me all degrading names. She is struggling to put on her loafers.

"What on earth are you doing?! hurry up!"
" I can't put it on"

Okay, I have enough of this bullshit so I grabbed her foot and yanked her off the Genkan which then she let out a scream of shock and I grabbed her shoes and jammed it right to her foot. I grabbed her wrist to pull her up and went through the door.

17 mins left...... I really hope we make it. Cross your fingers!