Chapter 11:
Why the heck are novel titles so long?! Why is every single story an Isekai?! What happened to creativity?! I could give you my whole life story in a single sentence but I'm not going to. Find it out for yourself. Peace and love. No hard feelings.
We're still at the museum. Me, the main Protagonist, Emushi, along with Kendo, Haruto, Ariso, Rite is there for some reason, along with side characters one and two, Miramirai and Anahana.
We're typing away furiously at the computers in the museum, for some reason, when we suddenly hear that stupid laugh again.
"Hee Hoo Hee Hoo Hee Hoo". It echoes through the chambers.
"Did someone call the police?" Rite said.
"What's that? Oh, the ambulance." Haruto said.
Everything starts shaking in the museum. Everyone begins to panic and run away, whilst the guy who announced all of this is running away with a briefcase. We all stand up and watch the shaking. The precious paintings, which obviously don't have any real value until the artist dies, fall to the ground.
"Why does he have a briefcase?" I said.
"Isn't it obvious? That's the prize money. Clearly the audience who are watching this can figure that out for themselves. They're not stupid, and for some reason, people hate exposition. Well I'm here so deal with it." Kendo said.
Suddenly, anthropomorphic animal people hybrid thingies appear from the others room and run inside the room we're all in.
"Why are there anthropomorphic animal hybrids? Why have my worst nightmares come into fruition?" I exclaimed.
"Oh wow! They look so cute!" Ariso exclaimed.
"They're humanoid animals with intelligence equivalent to humans running towards us! They're going to eat us alive!" Rite screamed in fear.
"Can't we domesticate them? They're like dogs and animals, right?" That was Haruto...again.
Out of nowhere, as the plot demanded it for my sake, a massive purple beam swept across the room, and they started becoming twinkly fairy dust. All of us were beyond astonished.
"Why did they turn into twinkly sparkly dust to cover up that they died?" I said.
I looked to the left and saw Kendo with a beam shooting gun thing.
"For some reason, the novel that I wrote has become real. In it, furries invaded the world, but then the hero had a gun that turns them into twinkly sparkly dust to make it more appealing to children." Kendo said.
"Wait, does that mean...?" I had a brilliant idea in my head.
I then turned my head to look at Haruto, and he looked exactly like a ninja...from when we travelled to Thear. Ariso looked like her Magical Girl Transformation Sequence Form from Thear.
"I'm surprised she didn't go through the Transformation Sequence. But wait..." I said, looking at Kendo with a sinister look.
"Hehehhe...."
"Yeah, you're story was about me being a Zanpakuto, right? Fine..." He said.
So, I was there, transforming into a Shinigami again, with Kendo as my Zanpakuto. He had his echoey voice.
"Who was laughing at the start like that? We have to thank them. They gave us these amazing powers back!" Ariso said.
"You know that the person laughing was the main villain, right?" I said.
Kendo jumped out from his Zanpakuto form into his human form. He was wearing the same clothing as me, but he looked cooler. He had a gauntlet that looked similar to the Anthropomorphic Annihilation Beam Cannon.
"Thanks to the plot being retconned, I can switch between being a sword and being human. Phew. Anyway, everyone's novels are coming to life. I still have the Anthropomorphic Annihilation Beam Cannon. Let's run upstairs guys." Kendo said.
Enemies from all over the place started appearing inside the museum. People started running away, and the only ones left in that computer room was us four, the main characters. There were zombies, samurais, ninjas, demons, dragons, anthropomorphic things, humanoid creatures from all kinds of fiction, and flying cards...
"Let's try out the powers again! Shikai!" I screamed so loudly.
"Wait! I liked being in human form..." Kendo said after echoing all over the place.
He became a butter knife, but this time, it had a black handle like a butcher's knife. The weird assortment of enemies started running towards us weirdly.
"Now that I have the power to retcon things, take the power of my retcon!"
I started waving the butter knife around, and it began glowing my favourite colour, blue. Then, all the creatures around me began falling and gasping for air. They started falling like flies, and then they became twinkly sparkly dust.
"Hey...I forgot where I put my pocket sparkles..." Haruto said.
"Wait, how powerful am I as a butter knife? We're breaking the rules of the story here! Why is the Shikai so powerful?" Echoey voiced Kendo exclaimed.
"I retconned the power. Now I can spread the organs flat of anyone within a viewing radius of us. It's not as cool or powerful as the beam or the broad sword, but it will do." I said.
We ran away outside into the real world and saw that creatures began appearing into existence. There was a random massive tower not too far away, and we looked at the top. Dragons, angels, demons, anything from mythology we could rip off, was there.
"Wow. All of this is like a rip-off of a huge Kaiju battle. All the troupes are here, and they've come to play." I said.
"Who is that up there?" Ariso said, squinting her eyes, wonder who it was. She realised. "Oh, hello Biranu!" She began waving at him.
He was wearing his normal purple outfit, looking like a fool.
"Wait! How do you know who I am! This is the first time we've met, and I've never spoken to you. Not once!" He screamed from the top of the tower.
"What's that? I can't hear you. You seem to be jamming some signals or something." I said.
"What's that? I couldn't hear you from there. Maybe we need a split-screen, or zoom in or something?" Biranu said.
"Yeah, maybe. What's your goal? And why has everyone suddenly gotten quiet around me?" I said.
"Oh, no reason. I was trying to see your conversation." Haruto said. "I have these cool ninja powers, and I was waiting for your signal to attack."
"It's not nice to interrupt people having conversations, is it?" Ariso said.
"Well yeah, but you guys are part of this too. Maybe if you guys backed me up, then we could progress the story a little, you know?" I said.
"Enough of the charades! I hated that game anyway. I'm such a villain that I have no idea why I'm doing this! But these creatures will not be stopped unless you can find the Novelite Crystal! I came up with that name on the spot, by the way!" He shouted loudly.
"Guys! I heard the plot speaking perfectly to me. It told me that we need to destroy the Novelite Crystal, otherwise the world will be run over by fantasy creatures made by the mind of twelve year olds!" Haruto said.
"What an evil plan! We must stop him at once!" I exclaimed.
Kendo appeared in his human form standing beside me.
"What have we gotten ourselves into this time...I guess I should roll with it. This seems enjoyable to say the least, and it's just us." Kendo said.
"Have you forgotten about us?" A familiar voice, which I didn't want to hear, said.
Behind us is Miraimirai, Anahana, and Rite. They are dressed up as Protagonists like us. They're also ripping of other Mangas. We'll leave that for next time. I love cliffhangers, almost as much as I love spoilers.
Peace and love. No hard feelings.
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