Words Of Aoi:Reflections on sins,Willingness To Atone

When is it enough i wonder?
My ears stay wide open for any signs of anything while i body just floats in the RESTO tank.It is almost evil to me to admit that this is one of two occasions that i find this abomination of a tank almost heavenly.

That was one of three times my neck has been broken and i find it a most annoying way to almost die,again.
The pain of this,is tat for the first four hours of RESTO tank time i my eyes and mouth can not open and i can not even move around in the tank as i can the last hour so i can only listen.

Usually to scientists discussing on how to prolong my too long life and ways to augment my cheerful personality into something more"Pliable",or i have to hear perverted guards as they discuss how they would love to experiment with my body.

Of course i would then fantasize on one of two things during these times.

A:how i would slaughter them and this whole facility with nothing but blood on my hands and body and a sword in hand with a smile like the nile river.
B:the thought of my Handsome Writer Man chasing me,keeping me running because i have nothing else save my hate of these devils to keep me alive,to keeping me fighting at all.

That was why i tried so hard to keep him away,i thought if i just handed him the child he would just do as i said but i should just kill myself already because i murdered him by underestimating his cleverness.

I wonder if the child is okay?I think to myself a moment before i dwell on the fact i was so close to ending this.
I always knew that the endgame victim i would have to slay would not be a warrior of old reanimated like i,Soji-San,Akechi-San and the others i found.
It would have to be the first one this was done to,the one that had the correct formula i destroyed to make us remain young,fit and able instead of deformed and monstrous.I am forever proud of the fact that before it could go on to make things worse my father....

My brave father,got me out of here and destroyed it and the serum,only failed at destroying the facility which soon as i am done using this greater evils to stop the lesser ones i will end them all.

Stopping this man would have sped that up considerably because he has the WHISTLE that someway always recalled us when we first were reanimated and i could use that to bring them all here and stop this,even after finding out who he was and that he had a journalist son.

I fight against the  pain and try to force my eyes open and they only open a sliver but it is enough to see that the lab is empty,Handsome Writer Man is knocked out on the ground with a little bit of blood on his temple,my blood from my fists......

That very fist pounds hard as the strength given by GOD to fight and to save kicks in,i pound so hard and so much that my weak body protests violently in the form of spasms but i still try and pray so hard.
My father would not ever forgive someone,even his beloved daughter for murder and what i did in underestimating was just that.
Murder.

The man who was the first in all this just smiles on at my fight,smiles at the blood on Handsome Writer Man's temple that makes me physically ill,He always just smiles.

I can see why Handsome Writer Man never took his last name,wanted no one to know who his lineage was.

The grandson of a cruel noble that i had only heard of,someone that threw there child out the window to dogs that fought over him but somehow he lived.
Somehow thrived as a blacksmith that dabbled in powders and discovered a secret to heal old or dead wounds with the help of a benefactor who was rumored to be someone of Oda Nobunagas era.

What does any of this matter to me now?
I just pound harder until The Handsome Writer Man wakes up and loses more of his heart i fear.
If that will get him to stop us,this place?

I will die loving him more for it,even if what he does here is out of hate for us.