Crow’s Guide to Ruining a Date.

The air outside felt cold, but not colder than Kaiee’s patience. Crow was already walking ahead, hands in pocket, humming some weird anime opening under his breath.
“Oi mc today you go doki doki with that childhoodo friendo, ne?” Crow grinned back, eyes sparkling like a child who just discovered chaos.
Mc sighed. “It’s not a date, Crow. We’re just catching up.”
Crow gasped dramatically. “Oooohhh catching up sugoi sugoi so romanticccc maybe kissu at sunsetto?”
“Shut up before I throw you into traffic.”
Crow nodded wisely. “Hmm, mc-san very tsundere today. Must be true love.”



They walked through the busy street until Crow suddenly stopped, eyes locked on a chocolate shop window.
“Bro… bro… look at that Chocorateeeeee”“You just ate breakfast,”c said, trying to pull him away.
Crow pointed dramatically at the display. “But that one look like heaveno on Eartho. I need that or I DIE!”
“You’re not getting it.”
Crow turned slowly, smirked, then shouted loud enough for the whole street to hear:“HELP! THIS AMERICANO GUY KIDNAPPEDEO ME! POLICEEEEE!”
Everyone stared. Mc froze.
“CROW I SWEAR TO GOD”
“Chocorate. Or I continue.”
“Fine! Just shut up!”
Crow smiled triumphantly as mc dragged him inside the shop. Two minutes later, Crow came out munching chocolates, skipping like a child.
“Ahhhvictory taste like sweeto coco you good friendo Mc glared. “You’re a walking problem.”
Crow winked. “And you love me for it.”



At the café, mc spotted Liria, his childhood friend, sitting near the window. She waved gently, smiling. Crow instantly whispered, “Bro… she cute as hell. You dead. You gonna simp hard.”
“Shut. Up.”
They sat down. Liria smiled warmly. “mc , it’s been forever.”
“Yeah… you look uh same. Just less scary.”
She laughed softly. “Still bad at compliments, huh?”
Crow leaned on the table like a drama queen. “He bad at everythingo except ignoringo my wisdom.”
Liria blinked. “Uh… he’s kinda funny.”
Mc groaned. “Please don’t encourage him.”
Crow nodded proudly. “Arigato Liria-chan finally someoneo respect my art.”



Halfway through the date, Crow wouldn’t stop talking. He interrogated Liria like it was an interview.
“So tell me, Liria chan, what is your blood typeo? Your biggest regretto? Favorite animeo? Kaiee needo this for his lovo life stat sheet.”
Mc slammed his hand on the table. “Crow shut up!”
Crow shrugged. “Just trying to helpo your rizz-o, bro.”
Liria laughed so hard she nearly spilled her drink. “You both are so funny.”



After leaving the café, the three walked toward the park. Sunset glowed through the trees, painting everything orange.
“That was fun,” Liria said. “You’ve really matured, mc."
Crow coughed dramatically. “Lie detectedo.”
Mc gave him the death glare. “Crow…”
Crow kept going. “Anyway, Liria chan, if Kaiee ever bore you, my hearto very openo. Also my walleto kinda emptyo but that’s detail.”
Liria laughed again. Mc covered his face with his hand.
“I should go,” she said finally. “It was nice seeing you both.”
“Yeah,” mc muttered. “Nice seeing you too.”
She waved goodbye and walked away. Crow watched her go, then smirked.
“Bro… she laugh at me more than you. I win date battle.”
“Crow… you weren’t even supposed to BE on the date.”
“Still win though.”
Mc sighed. “I hate you.”
Crow grinned. “No you don’t, Americano. You lovo me. Deep deep inside your hearto.”
“Next time I’m leaving you at home.”
“Then who gonna save you from social deatho?” 
Mc couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head. “You’re impossible.”
Crow threw his half-eaten chocolate into the trash. “Impossible but lovable~ desu ne.”
The streetlights flickered on as the two idiots walked home, arguing about who was more “rizzless.”Somehow, even with the chaos, mc first “not a date” didn’t feel so bad after all.