Chapter 23: The Insomnia Epidemic

It is 2:00 AM on a Tuesday. I am asleep. Or, I WAS asleep.

"Takeshi-kun..."

A ghostly whisper floats through my room. I jolt awake, heart hammering. Izuwa is standing by my bed, looking like a sad Victorian ghost in her long white nightgown.

"Izuwa? What's wrong?"

"I had a nightmare," she whispers, clutching a pillow. "Can I... sit in here for a bit? Until I'm calm?"

It's Izuwa. She's harmless. "Sure. Just sit in the chair."

Five minutes later.

"OPPA!"

Inoue kicks the door open. "I CAN'T SLEEP! My brain is playing Crimson Rush songs on repeat! I need you to sing me a lullaby!"

"I don't know any lullabies, Inoue."

"Then sing me a rock ballad! Anything! Your voice is soothing!" She hops onto the end of the bed.

Two minutes later. Azuwa appears in the doorway, arms crossed, looking annoyed but also wearing suspiciously cute matching pajamas.

"I have detected a disturbance in the household's sleep cycle," she announces. "I am unable to achieve REM sleep with all this noise. I must monitor the source of the disturbance to ensure it ceases quickly." She sits on the floor, leaning against my dresser.

Then, naturally, the final boss arrives.

"Onii-chan!" Ayumi wails, barging in with Hina in tow. "We felt a disturbance in the Force! Other girls are in your room at night! This is a code red violation of the Sisterly Territory Treaty!"

"I was just trying to get water," Hina yawns, looking perfectly put together even at 2 AM. "But Ayumi dragged me here. Though, now that I'm here, your room does have a certain... rustic, boyish charm. It’s cozy."

"Everyone out!" I groan, burying my face in my hands. "I have a math test tomorrow!"

"We can't leave! We all have insomnia now!" Ayumi declares. "It's highly contagious! The only cure is... The Cuddle Cure!"

"That is not a real medical thing," I say flatly.

"It is too! I read it on 'WifeMaterial.com'!" Ayumi insists.

"I have an alternative proposal," Azuwa says, adjusting her glasses in the dark. "Since we are all awake, we should utilize this time efficiently. Takeshi-nii can read to us. A monotonous, boring voice is proven to induce sleep."

"Hey! My voice isn't boring!"

"Read us your history textbook, Oppa!" Inoue cheers, getting comfortable on my feet. "I bet learning about the Meiji Restoration will knock me right out!"

Defeated, I turn on my bedside lamp. I grab my history textbook. Five pairs of eyes watch me expectantly from various spots around my room.

"Fine. Chapter 14: Industrialization and its socioeconomic impacts..." I begin reading in the most monotone, robotic voice I can muster.

Ten minutes later, I look up. They are all wide awake, staring at me with goofy, lovestruck grins. They aren't listening to a word I'm saying; they are just happily watching me read.

"He looks so smart when he reads big words," Inoue whispers loudly to Ayumi.

"I know, right? The way his brow furrows is just dreamy," Ayumi whispers back.

"His pronunciation of 'socioeconomic' is adequate," Azuwa murmurs, hiding a smile behind her hand.

I slam the book shut. "That's it. I'm sleeping in the bathtub."