Another Love Song

A place that didn’t exist. A light that would never blind anyone. A smell that would never neutralize someone’s nostrils. An architecture that would never clash with the one around it.

This place didn’t exist… or did it?

I pushed open the door of this industrial hangar, a bay window at the front illuminating the dark alley in which it stood. Around it were tall buildings – office blocks, shop backs, but no open door inviting anyone in, except this one.

Many people passed by, but none seemed interested in the light coming from the window. Was it because we couldn’t see through it? Or because their minds didn’t even notice it? Strange as it might seem, life had its mysteries and secrets. Things were happening in this city, and some of them were disturbing.

I gently closed the door and walked forward with firm steps, as if I knew my way here. In front of me was a mirror maze. I refused to look at my face. Tears, screams, pain, and countless nights of research would not present me at my best.

“He will hear me! He has to hear me! He has to help! He has to give it to me!” I thought, going left and right, avoiding touching any mirror as if they would kill me at the slightest contact.

Seeing my reflection everywhere only out of the corner of my eye, I thought I was going crazy. When would this maze ever end?

The smell of old books filled my nose, better that than what I had smelled these last few days – the stench of burning still staining my nostrils, forcing me to remember what had happened.

I saw the end of the maze and ran to it, only to enter a small room hidden between the mirrors. Overflowing bookshelves surrounded the acacia desk in the center, which sat on a large rug that must have been worth millions for its softness, artistry, comfort, and the technique used to create it.

“Ryota! What a surprise! I didn’t see you coming! What gives me the pleasure of your visit?” 

I saw Hayate, this pale-looking, thin, and short man, dressed in a simple white shirt and black trousers, covered with a long coat. His short blond hair was all messy, and his glasses stayed on his nose by I didn’t know what miracle. He looked at me from over the pile of books and papers on the desk, his smile illuminating the dimly lit room.

I stood there. Smiling was not my thing. No one could expect that from me after what had happened.

“You didn’t see me? Stop mocking me! With these damn mirrors you could see me from afar! Now tell me where the doll is!” I shouted, fury twisting my face to the point I surprised myself when my voice broke as I tried to shout something else.

“Why should I give it to you? You should know that! You’re the one who asked me to hide the doll and not give it to you, no matter how you asked me!”

My face softened as I saw Hayate’s expression shift to anger. I took a chair that was under a pile of books and placed it in front of the desk – which I cleared of all the mess. I sat heavily on the chair, leafing through one of the books while he stared at me in complete disbelief.

“You’re insane, Ryota! Really… insane… You have to accept it! That’s imp-”

The book I had in my hands struck the desk so heavily when I threw it that dust fell from the ceiling onto us.

“Don’t say anything like that again, Hayate! You’re the only one I told this to and asked for help… you were the one I trusted the most and yet you’re here saying things like that!”

“I can’t deal with this! I have my own problems too! Since I’ve been keeping this doll, there’s not a day I’m not scared to sleep. There are ghosts in there, wandering in the mirror maze. I’m going insane just thinking about it-”

“Give it to me, then!”

“I can’t!”

“Give it to me!”

“I CAN’T!”

“But why!? I need it… It’s the only hint I have… the only thing that can bring me closer to the point of breaking this curse!” I couldn’t keep a face full of anger as my thoughts took a sharp turn to all the images of her. My heart ached so much I had to clutch my chest to ease the pain, even a little.

“We don’t know anything about it! Don’t you remember? You’re the one who told me the story around it – that one time when she was reincarnated, she had this doll with her that came out of nowhere. For me that’s strange too, and maybe there’s a link with this curse, but how would you know? We’re not magicians or super-beings!”

“And yet… look at what’s happening around us… what’s happening to my wife… how could you think we wouldn’t be able to find a way?”

My desperate face must have swayed Hayate’s mind, as he stood and came toward me. He put his hands into the pocket of his long gray coat and pulled a doll out of it. It was a creepy yet fascinating porcelain doll representing a little girl with a dress, hair, and a hat – the kind that would make you scared at night if you saw it in the dark.

He handed it to me, his hands trembling as if the decision he’d made terrified him. I put it in the pocket of my coat.

“I know what you’re up to. Just don’t risk your life.” He sat back on his side of the desk, his voice filled with fear. “As for the other problem… I didn’t found anything, and I suppose it’s the same for you, Ryota?”

“Yes. I don’t know how, but nobody seems to acknowledge that she dies each time. It’s as if made-up memories were implanted in their brains to make them believe she was there, while in reality she was gone.”

“I see. I’m sorry.”

“For what? It’s not like it’s your fault. I dragged you into all of this against your will.”

“I’m sorry that I’m useless. Having a PhD in physics won’t help me understand all these strange phenomena. If only Atsuko were the only element that seemed supernatural… but there’s more.”

He laughed nervously while I just stared at him in silence, watching my friend trying his best in front of me.

“I don’t know where to search anymore. At this point you might as well go into the street, look for some suspicious guy, and hope he’s the one who put the curse on both of you. At least I’m not living Atsuko’s death every time – my mind would shatter. You’re much stronger than I would have thought.” He gave me a faint smile, filled with sadness.

“You’re wrong, Hayate. You’re far from the truth. I’m not strong. If I wasn’t keeping these researches going… a simple blow of wind could shatter me.”

I stood and shook his hand as a goodbye – or maybe a farewell, I couldn’t know. I didn’t want to know.

I reached the door, making my way through the maze once again, maybe for the last time, still hiding my reflection from the curiosity of my tired eyes.

I went outside. It was pitch-black. The bay window no longer illuminated anything, and this building, already hidden from people’s eyes most of the time, had now disappeared into the abyss of the night’s darkness.

“I can’t tell him that my body can regenerate… He would try to stop me if he knew that-”

My phone rang and distracted my thoughts. The little screen was the only source of light now, with no moon to show me the way. Only a message, a single one.

From Atsuko: Dinner’s ready! Where are you? Come back before it’s cold!

My jaw dropped. My heart sank. My whole body trembled, nearly making me drop my phone on the ground.

I ran. I ran fast, only looking at my feet. I had to go home. She was there, waiting for me. She was back. She was once again alive.

“I have to do something quickly… I don’t want to lose her again… I don’t know when it’ll be the last time I have this chance.”

A beautiful and melodic song could be heard from one street. Which one? I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I didn’t have time to waste on such trivialities.

Even though I didn’t focus much on it, I started humming the melody again and again, so much that it made me feel sick.

The song was beautiful, echoing inside me, making me shiver.

And yet, it was just another love song.