I Should Have Known

It had been a few days now since the apartment exploded – not entirely, but I couldn’t live there anymore. My home had become uninhabitable. Every memory built in there, every photograph, clothes, a lot of things had burned. And my wife… had died, once again, once more, once too many times.

She had died, and yet, for the hundredth time, everyone believed another version of it, telling me that they had tried to reach her, that she was at her mother’s house, and that she would stay there for a while until the apartment was repaired. Lies. Liars. How could such a lie have been implemented in their minds? Didn’t they question her work? She had to go to work and couldn’t miss more than a few days. How could they just accept this?

Everyone believed it was just an accident and that hopefully no one else was hurt, so they didn’t talk much about it. Yet something was bothering me – for me it wasn’t an accident.

I tried to call my mother-in-law, trying to know if I was hallucinating – maybe Atsuko had already reincarnated and was there without me noticing.

My hope was destroyed. Another version of the story had been implemented in her mind. Another one. Atsuko was not there. Why was I the only one who could see the truth?

I had to stay at a hotel, waiting, going to work as usual, and trying to do my research until I decided to see Hayate. It was all quite normal.

I never would have thought I’d receive a message – a single message, full of hope but terrifying.

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“She can’t be... There’s no apartment anymore… but I have to see for myself… That’s impossible… why would she be there? Atsuko, why are you reappearing at this moment…?”

My breathing came in ragged gasps, my lungs burning. I felt the pain as if my muscles were tearing apart with every step I took. I ran. I was running. My mind was not clear and my eyes couldn’t see well. I was guided only by my emotions and my memories in this city.

The streets were empty at this hour. I passed by dead buildings where no light nor life could be seen. The sharp sound of my sneakers hitting the ground echoed in the night, which only allowed the moon to give me few of its rays of light through the thick clouds so I could see my feet.

The wind – there was none. It was empty, stifling, terrifying. It was scary to be all alone – to be alone in this moment, right here, right now.

I turned left, right, again and again, trying to draw on the insignificant energy reserves that lay within me just to keep running. I didn’t know where I was anymore. I was simply following my path until I reach the place that had caused me so much pain and sorrow.

After a final left turn, my building was there, stretching up before my eyes, the top disappearing into the sky, giving the impression that the clouds were swallowing it to hide the truth from my eyes.

I pushed the building’s door open, entered my code, went through the last door and started climbing the cold stairs – even through my shoes I could feel the chill seeping into my warm and sweaty body.

A small, muffled laugh echoed around me in the stairwell, but no one was there. I quickly bounded up the stairs two at a time and finally reached the third floor, in front of apartment 306, the door barricaded with yellow tape prohibiting access to anyone who might try to enter.

“It’s my home, no one can refuse me access to it!” My teeth clenched and my face twisted with fury as I took a second to catch my breath.

I tore off the two strips and opened the door gently, as I always did before.

“I’m home!” I said with a wide smile lighting my face, my hands trembling on the handle as I closed the door.

Yet, there was no light.

Yet, there was no dinner.

Yet, there was no sound.

Yet, there was no sign of life.

Yet… there was no Atsuko in sight.

I groped my way to the living room. I could see the damage again: the bay window was completely shattered, and a tarp simply covered the gaping hole. Debris was scattered everywhere on the floor, along with clothes, kitchen utensils, and the sofa, broken in two and charred like the rest of our furniture.

“What a pitiful sight...” My tears started to stream down my cheeks, their bitter taste drenching my lips.

I crouched down, holding my head and breathing heavily to regain my composure before I went crazy.

The sound of a notification echoed in the silence. I raised my head, surprised and terrified by it.

“Who’s there!?” I shouted as I stood, ready for every possibility.

It wasn’t the sound of my phone. It was someone else’s. I didn’t have much to help me see except the moonlight and my own phone, since the workers told me that everything had gone out with the explosion.

I turned on the flashlight and started searching in the dark for someone, for something.

Nobody answered my call. No sound came from any part of the apartment. I was supposedly alone and yet, something strange was there, waiting for me, and it had forgotten to turn off its phone.

I walked slowly, with a steady and calm breath. My fist clenched, I was ready to fight anyone who dared try to ambush me. I wanted answers.

“If Atsuko isn’t home, where is she? There’s no other place for both of us that we could call home, nothing else that would be in her memories. I’ll have to go back on the streets after dealing with this thing, or else it’ll be too late.”

The laughter I had heard earlier on the stairs could be heard again in the distance, but very muffled. It was a strange laugh, a laugh that didn’t seem to come from someone, but from something else.

After inspecting the living room, the kitchen, the entryway, the bathroom and the toilet, I was left only with the bedroom.

I put my hand on the handle. I gripped it firmly, swallowing so hard my throat burned.

The same notification sound as earlier resounded just on the other side of the door. Now everything was clear.

“This sound… it’s from Atsuko’s phone!” I opened the door without hesitation.

My stress could even be heard in my voice as I spoke. Opening this door could mean the world to me.

“Atsuko-”

I stopped mid-sentence. I was shocked, my eyes wide and my mouth gaping open. The scene in front of me was not normal.

No one was here. Not even Atsuko.

“What exactly was I hoping for?” I whispered, my expression shifting to a more serious and emotionless one.

I pointed my flashlight toward the bed. On it was Atsuko’s phone. I rushed to it, completely stunned.

“Why is this here? It should have been destroyed in the explosion!”

I examined the phone while sitting on the bed. I unlocked it and went through everything, looking for information. I opened the messaging app and her conversation with me.

I dropped the phone on the bed.

The message I had received had really been sent from Atsuko’s phone – but not by her.

The phone rang and the screen showed an unknown number. I picked it up and answered, clearing my throat so I wouldn’t stutter.

“Hello, Ryota. It’s been a while, no? But you may not remember me… It’s making me sad, you know?” A strange voice came out of the phone, that of a seemingly old man trying to mock me. I could feel his laughter under his words.

I couldn’t keep my calm. I exploded in rage.

“What’s happening, Leo!? Why are you calling this number? Are you…”

“And you? Why are you there, picking up a call from the phone of a dead person? Are you some kind of creep?”

I clenched my free fist so hard that my nails pierced my skin, blood pouring out of the wounds. I didn’t care.

“What do you want!? You’re supposed to be avoiding every kind of contact with her, not try to call her whenever you want!”

He laughed, a spineless laugh, the laugh of someone who had let his mind wander for too long in the deepest and darkest parts of evil.

“How can he know… that she died? How…? Oh… I understand now.” I came to a realization I would rather never have had, as a saddened expression drew itself across my face.

Leo ended the call and a few seconds later the phone rang again, a message appearing on the screen.

From Ben.to: Now, find me.

“I should have known… that it would end this way.”