Hesitation Killed the Cat

“What you’re trying to tell me is… you got caught?” Mamoru’s voice questions over the phone’s speaker pressed to Junko’s ear. The air around her turns cold at the tone of his voice, and Junko can feel the blood rushing through her veins, and hear the sound of her heart pumping rapidly in her chest.

Junko sits upon her messy bed, and her posture is rigid. Her clasped left fist lays taut in her lap, and her feet sit sturdy against the floor beneath them. Swallowing a gulp of anxiety, Junko nods her head, “Yes, dad,” She replies meekly and honestly. An irritated and angry sigh echoes through the phone’s speaker.

“How could you do this, Junko?!” Mamoru shouts at his daughter over the phone, causing her to flinch at his harsh volume, “You’re putting the entire Task Force at risk with this whole ordeal, you know that?! I put you in charge because I trusted you, as my daughter! And now you’ve gone and thrown away all that trust!”

Junko’s lips draw inwards - attempting to stop her quivering bottom lip. Squinting her eyes at her father’s ridicule and reprimands, Junko clasps the phone in her right hand tight. “I know, and I’m sorry for-”

“No, you don’t know, Junko! That’s the problem!” Mamoru interjects rudely, continuing to shout into his daughter’s ear, “You’re way too focused on that damn school to even pay attention to the job I granted you. Do you know how lucky you are to have this opportunity?! And you’re just throwing it away like it’s nothing!”

Junko sniffles back a sob quietly, and shuts her eyes at her father’s words. “I am so sorry, dad. I completely let everyone down. I… I don’t have any excuses for my actions. I am so, so sorry…”

Silence overtakes his previous yelling spree as Mamoru says nothing in response to Junko’s apology. His wordlessness only makes her feel worse about herself - causing Junko to curse herself out within the confines of her own mind during his silence.

“You are to drop out of that stupid college, do you hear me?” Mamoru decides, shifting into a more serious and domineering tone rather than his previous infuriated and enraged voice. Junko’s eyes shoot open, and her lips part from one another in shock. The grip on her phone loosens tremendously - nearly dropping the device completely.

“All college is good for is wasting your money, especially when you have a perfectly good career I already handed to you!” Junko remains silent at her father’s ignorant preachings, and her mouth continues to hang open. Tears form at the cracks of her eyes, before she blinks them away - back into hiding.

“You have another assignment tomorrow - you remember that much, don’t you? Don’t fuck this one up.” After those sentiments, Mamoru hangs up, leaving Junko to listen to the jeering noise of the disconnected line. Dropping her right hand to her lap, Junko’s posture concaves in, and she brings her hands to her face in shame. Falling backwards onto her bed, Junko stares at the ceiling above her, and drifts away into the dreamland she so vividly paints within her mind.

The next morning, Junko finds herself leaving the advisory office at Setagaya Junior College. Against her will, Junko was forced to unenroll from school, and to stop pursuing her Botany major. That morning, she took her motorcycle to campus: not wanting to taint the path she coated with relaxing memories when she walked to the train station after class.

Despite the Spring sun overhead, Junko wears her leather bomber jacket and jeans. The light pours onto her body like a taunting spotlight, and she feels as if everyone is laughing at the Junior College drop out. Hugging her arms against her sweltering torso, Junko makes for her bike parked across the street.

Once she descends the familiar staircase, Junko brings her gaze from her moving footsteps to her surrounding environment in front of her. At the casual act, Junko accidentally makes eye contact with a passing stranger. However, the passing individual is no stranger at all: it’s Kei Okazaki. The moments from a few nights prior resurface in her mind - as if she is not reminded enough of it from her father.

Unable to look Kei in the eyes, Junko sprints past him, and heads for the street. Keeping her gaze down, she passes Kei in an instant. But, as soon as she runs beside him, his hand stretches out and grabs her bicep - forcing her to stop running. Junko jerks back from the momentum, and fearfully stares at Kei as she resists against his touch.

Kei stares right back into her frigid eyes - trying to rip apart the mysterious guard she has up, and understand who this girl really is. Despite having seen her kill someone, Kei finds himself more drawn to Junko than he was in the beginning. He doesn’t see Junko as some serial murderer; he sees her as a passionate botanist with hopes and dreams subsided by her father’s demands.

Overcome with emotions, Junko finds herself crying. No sobs or cries came from her mouth, but rivers upon rivers of tears flush from her eyes, and cascade down her reddened cheeks. Sorrow, shame, fear, confusion, and anger - upon hundreds of other indescribable emotions - rush out of her in the form of tears. Kei, surprised by the sudden show of expression, looks down to Junko with a hidden anger in his eyes.

Drawing his eyebrows in, Junko prepares herself for another round of yelling and reprimanding. However, instead of opening his mouth and throwing words at her, Kei opens his arms, and pulls Junko in for a hug. At first, it was rigid and cold. Neither of them are used to this form of contact from people they did not really know. Then, after a few seconds, Junko allows herself to fall into a vulnerable state, and ease into the hug Kei so openly offered.

She keeps her hands at her chest - not reaching to hug him back. He rubs the back of her leather jacket, and he feels the residual heat from the sun bouncing off of her back. Squeezing his eyes shut, Kei hugs Junko tight one last time, before pushing her to arm’s length. “What happened, Junko?”

Junko looks up at Kei’s sad and fearful eyes, wanting to tell him everything from the beginning, all the way to the end. But, at her father’s command, the Task Force must remain a secret. “You won’t understand…” Junko whispers, as her cheeks begin to dry up. Kei scoffs and allows his arms to fall back to his sides. Sensing his hostility, Junko’s anxiety festers in her eyes as she examines her angry friend.

“I don’t do this because I want to, Kei!” She yells, raising her voice to a volume she normally does not bring it to, “I’m doing this because it’s something I have to do! Never in a million years would I have pictured myself doing this kind of job. I want to be a botanist! I want to open a flower shop in Hokkaido! But there’s absolutely nothing I can do, because this is the life I was forced to live!”

“Who says that’s how it has to be?!” Kei yells back, equally as frustrated at the situation as she is, “Your dad? Screw your dad! You don’t deserve to subject yourself to such a cruel lifestyle just because you think you have to. Be selfish, Junko! Live for yourself, and not for others, for once in your life! I see it in your eyes - when you talk about the future you want. You can have that future! Just be selfish!”

Throwing her hands to her face, Junko aggressively shakes her head - not wanting to hear the words Kei is speaking. If she did listen, she would start to agree with him, and pursue this unreachable future she so desires. But, leaving behind her family, her friends, and an entire city to pursue her lousy dream is not something benefiting the greater good.

“No…” Junko whispers to herself, “I can’t… I can’t do this. You don’t get it…” Junko takes off in a sprint, escaping Kei’s persuasion, and heads for her motorcycle across the street. Kei’s hand just misses her arm as he reaches out to hold her once more, and he watches her retreating figure dance through the oncoming traffic ahead.

Back at headquarters, Niko and the officers are surrounded around the kitchen table. Yuuto drove Niko and Ren today, since Niko slept in while Junko took off for Setagaya. They all listen as Niko shares the story of him eavesdropping on Junko's conversation with Mamoru the previous night.

“Are you serious, Niko?” Ren whisper-shouts to the young boy. Niko nods his head slowly and sympathetically in response. “Yup - she has to drop out of college. So if she seems a little off today, that’s why. Just let her be for now.”

Jiro’s eyes are shielded by the brim of his cap as he leans back on his hands. A grim, deep line draws upon his lips as he listens to Niko’s retelling of Junko’s night. Next to him sits Yuuto, who chews at his thumb nail with scrunched eyebrows. Kagome shakes her head at Yuuto’s right - at the head of the table. Ren’s eyes show genuine concern for the wellbeing of his friend and Lieutenant across from Jiro, and to his left, Niko fiddles with his fingers in his lap.

As a heavy silence sits upon the group sitting at their kitchen table, a short clamor is heard at the entrance. Turning their heads towards the origin of the noise, a windswept Junko appears in the apartment. The density of empathy and worry floating in the room is visible to Junko’s naked eye, and she realizes her friends must know what has happened to her since the last assignment.

Swallowing a tense lump in her throat, Junko closes the metal door behind her. She chooses to blatantly ignore the massive elephant in the room as she grips her keys tighter in her fist. “Mamoru wants this next assignment finished with today,” She asserts to the onlookers at the table, “Jiro, are you ready to go?”

Jiro manages one curt nod without a single word. Standing from his rooted position, he brushes off the back of his baggy denim jeans. Yuuto stands as well, keeping his eyes on his Lieutenant positioned at the doorway. 

“Our target should be en route to her warehouse in about…” Yuuto turns his phone on after taking it out of his pocket to look at the time, “Thirty minutes. Getting to your predetermined vantage point should take about ten minutes, and I’ll be keeping watch on his journey from here.”

Junko smiles inwardly at Yuuto’s intel as Jiro joins her at the door. The others at the table stand, as well, watching Junko’s every move from the table. Grabbing the black backpack at the foot of the doorway, Jiro throws the artillery-filled sack on his back, and fills his arms through the straps. “Kaito got everything I needed?” Jiro asks Ren, who nods softly in response.

Junko turns her back to the room, and breathes a silent sigh as her eyes land on the cold metallic surface in front of her. “Keep us updated, Yuuto,” Junko commands before ripping the door open and filing through the exit, with Jiro in tow.

The stranded friends watch the door swing back to a muffled close, and the ‘Tokyo Prefectural Police Department: Special Operations Task Force’ sign looks rusted over a bit from age. Niko sighs from his sister’s reserved actions, and his mind worries over her wellbeing. Yuuto drags his gaze down to his feet, where he watches his legs carry him to his computer setup in the back corner of the room.

“Mamoru is such an asshole,” Kagome spits, kicking the low table - making it shuffle to her left, “Junko had one outlet away from all this shit, and he just takes it right away from her?! I mean, how could you do that to someone, let alone your own daughter!” Ren sighs as he bends down to correct the table’s positioning, and bounces back down to a seated position on the floor.

Niko shakes his head at Kagome's outburst. “School wasn’t an outlet for Junko,” Niko corrects, looking at Kagome’s irritated stance, “It was an escape.”

Junko and Jiro have arrived at their desired location, and situated themselves in front of two dusty windowsills that bask in the sun’s evening orange glow. The building they chose to rendezvous to was an old, abandoned, three-story factory that overlooks the road their target needs to drive upon in order to reach her illegally-acquired weapons warehouse.

Junko sat upon the open window, and let the sun rays dance on her thoughtful expression. On the windowsill positioned to the left of her own, Jiro kneels as he constructs his sniper from the parts within the black backpack. Sneaking a glance to his Lieutenant and best friend, he catches a sad and crestfallen emotion swimming in Junko’s eyes. A look of concern falls upon his face as he continues to stare at her.

Opening his mouth to express his apprehension, Jiro is interrupted by Yuuto over their earpieces: “Target is two minutes away from your location. She is driving a black van, and there are no passengers in the vehicle. Careful not to shoot any parts of the car besides the driver side window or front windshield - we don’t know what kind of explosives she is carrying in the back.”

Jiro quickly finishes assembling the sniper, and loads one bullet into its chamber. Cocking it into place atop the windowsill, Jiro looks back to the bag on the floor. Fishing his hand through the unzipped seam, he tugs out a pair of binoculars that he tosses to a now kneeling Junko to his right. Nodding in thanks, Junko takes the item to her face, and peers out of the window.

Throwing his hand to his hat, Jiro takes off the headgear as he infamously flips his bangs off of his face, and tucks them underneath his now backwards cap. Bringing his eye to the scope, Jiro observes the street below him - coated in the evening glow. “Target is approaching the stop sign now. Approximately thirty-five miles per hour speed. Make this quick, Jiro,” Yuuto informs in his ear.

“On my call, Jiro,” Junko commands lowly as she leans over the adjacent windowsill. The seriousness in her voice makes Jiro swallow a lump of anxiety as he realizes the severity of this mission, and its importance to the Chief of Police. His sweaty hands hold the weapon in his possession tighter, and he blinks through the scope.

Just then, a black van drives into view on the road below them. Junko remains silent, suspiciously, which makes Jiro throw a confused side glance at her. “Junko, target is in sight,” He reminds his quiet Lieutenant, who intensely stares at the approaching black van. “On my call, Jiro,” Is all she bluntly says in response.

The woman in the driver's seat begins to slow her speed as she approaches the stop sign. Jiro’s fingers shake as they hover above the trigger - anxiously waiting for Junko to give her call. “Junko? Target is approaching the stop sign, I should-”

“Do not shoot until I give the order, damnit!”

Jiro kneels frozen in shock at Junko’s anger-filled shout, and he watches the target come to a full halt at the stop sign. Squeezing the rifle in his arms tight to his body, Jiro watches as the target begins her drive once again, passing the stop sign. “Junko! Target is heading out of range! Give me the order!” Jiro shouts in frustration as the woman starts to slip out of view.

Junko grips her binoculars in her slender fingers as a vein of concentration presents itself on her left temple. Scrunching her eyebrows together, Junko remains silent to Jiro’s rebuttals. Realizing she was not going to answer anytime soon, Jiro anxiously groans at his situation. Taking matters into his own hands, Jiro realigns his shot. Then, in an instant, a bullet pierces through the driver side window and into the skull of the target below.

Pulling the binoculars away from her face, Junko angrily pounces a glare onto the shooter to her left. “Jiro!” She yells, standing from her kneeling position, “What the hell was that?!” Jiro stands as well, peeling his rifle off of the windowsill in front of him.

The fading sunlight glimmers against the many stray and frolicking dust particles wafting in the air, and the creaky floorboards beneath the two officers sound out a noise hinting old age at their every movement. The black van’s continuous engine vibrates through the Spring air, and reverberates against the opened glass windows beside the two officers.

“That was me doing my job,” Jiro answers sternly, beginning to dismantle his weapon, “I don’t know what you were doing, but I’m not gonna let you make Mamoru angry at you again for something that could have been avoided. Now come on, let’s go home.” Jiro shoves the last of his parts into the bag before zipping up the seams.

Walking towards the stairwell, Jiro turns around to the rooted Junko. Reaching out his hand, Jiro offers a sympathetic and concerned smile to her. She sighs, pinching at the bridge of her nose, before staggering over to Jiro’s position at the stairs. Grabbing his hand with her free one, they descend the staircase together.

The darkness of the night weighs upon Japan as the moon takes over the sky. Stars disperse against the contrasting bluey-blackness, and the moon’s white glow showers the shadowy surface of the Earth. In one apartment building, a pajama-clad Junko sits on her bed as she stares at a crumpled sheet of paper in her hands.

The curtains dance with the breeze that enters through her opened window, and a few wandering strands of hair sway past her face. Her tired eyes read the numbers displayed on the small, white piece of paper for the umpteenth time in the dimness of her bedroom. Heaving a great sigh, Junko stands to her feet.

Gliding across her floor, Junko reaches her desk. There, she extends her slender hands to her phone positioned on the desktop. Grabbing the object in her loose grasp, Junko stares at the black reflective surface. Squeezing the item in one last moment of hesitation, Junko turns the phone on, and a blue light echoes on her features.

Her eyes dart from the piece of paper in her left hand, to the screen in her right. A bright green button presents itself on the phone’s display, and offers one last opportunity to stop, and go back to bed. Raising her thumb, Junko passes on the chance and presses the button with the pad of her thumb. Her heartbeat accelerates as she brings the phone to her ear - hearing the taunting rings of agony.

Crossing her left arm through her bent right arm, Junko waits for any sign of life on the other side of the line. She begins to anxiously walk back to her bedside, where she falls back to a seated position atop her gray comforter. Finally, after what felt like years of uneasy waiting, the ringing ceases in her ears.

“Hello?” A tired male voice mumbles from the phone, “Who is this?” Junko’s eyes open wide, and her jaw drops subtly at the answer. Unable to stop her quivering bottom lip, her lips close as tears form in her eyes. Soft sniffles echo through the phone, and the male on the other side hears the sorrowful noises.

“Junko?!” The male confusedly asks in surprise, “Is that you?” Junko’s head falls, and her hair circles around her face - creating a barrier shielding her vulnerable expression from the rest of the world. Tears fall into her lap as her eyes squint shut, despite her attempting to shove the tears back to where they came from.

“Hello, Kei.”