Turning Point

I couldn't believe my eyes when we had ended up back in the red-light district after having just been here the day prior. From the look on Kazuya's face as he parked the car, he seemed used to the sight of all the debauchery, like this was just another day. I remembered him mentioning that he wasn't a fan of this place, so I began to feel even worse knowing that I was the reason he had to be dragged back here.

Just as I opened my mouth to speak, Kazuya interrupted.
"This guy, Jin, owes us big time. He's been putting off paying us back for months now, and Charlotte wants him dealt with."

My breath caught in my throat. I stuttered,
"D-dealt with?! N-no! I'm not killing anyone!"

"No one said anything about killing. Shut your damn mouth and listen!"
Kazuya tugged at my hair, pulling me from my seat in the car and onto my feet.

"Charlotte likes to send a message. She's a bit old-school... and a bit flashy."
Kazuya released me, bringing a cigar to the edge of his lips.
"If Hidaka Jin doesn't pay you six million yen, you'll be responsible for taking his finger. Yubitsume is what we call it. It's either done as a way to repent to your Oyabun, or it's done to folks who break our trust."

"What?!"
I shouted, my hands already beginning to shake at just the thought alone.

"I told you, Charlotte's old-school. But it works damn well if you want to send a message."
Kazuya began to walk, and for some reason, I followed.

Taking someone's finger?! That's insane! I couldn't do that to somebody! There's absolutely no way in hell I could ever slice someone's finger off for missing a deadline.

"What happens if he doesn't pay me the full amount? Like, if he pays two million instead?"
My voice shook as I tried every way to justify Hidaka Jin's safety. I hadn't even met this man yet and I was overwhelmed by anxiety.

Kazuya stayed silent. That was everything I needed to know.

No way! No way! No way! No way! No way!

"I'm not doing this! I didn't agree to hurting other people when I drank that saké!"
I desperately clawed at Kazuya's arm, trying to stop him from walking closer to the sign that read 'Hidaka's Ramen and Beer.'

"Shut up and get in there! I'm missing out on quality time with my family to assess you!"
He shoved me forward, tossing me to the ground as he puffed that disgusting cigar.

"I can't! There's no way in hell I'm ever going to chop off a finger!"
I shouted in a hushed tone, trying not to cry while curious bystanders gazed at us from the nearby host clubs.

"Then give me your pinky finger as compensation! It's either yours or his! Charlotte will personally slice yours off if you don't walk out of there with a bag full of cash or a finger! Do I make myself clear?!"
He tossed a rose-patterned tanto blade onto my lap. The scabbard was well polished, and the paint had been coated with real gold dust.

I grabbed the beautiful blade, stuffing it into my blazer pocket and hovering my hand over the door's handle.
Please, Hidaka Jin, have some money available. I beg you.

* * *

The inside of Hidaka Jin's ramen shop was exactly as I had expected it to be, given its location in the center of the red-light district. The wallpaper showed years of wear and tear from heavy use, the floor near the counter was lined with milk crates filled to the brim with fresh vegetables, yet the stools seemed to be in wonderful condition, probably due to customers complaining that the old ones were falling apart at the seams. The smell of fresh miso broth loomed in the air, and the man behind the counter was slaving away over a cauldron.

I made my way to the kitchen area and took a seat at the edge of the counter, my bottom resting against its wooden surface as I admired this man at work. He definitely hadn't heard me enter, which was something I took pride in. I simply waited until he would turn around and discover me.

When he did, he let out a bellow of shock, stumbling backward into the counter while screaming,
"What the fuck?!"

"Relax, Hidaka Jin. I don't want to hurt you."
I put a finger to my lips. Despite the pure fear in my own eyes, I think it was my silence that startled him the most.

"You... don't want to hurt me? That's a load of bullshit! You're with the Bara-gumi, aren't you?!"
Hidaka Jin raised the soup ladle he had been holding high in the air, as if ready to strike me at any given moment.

"I... am with the Bara-gumi, yes."
I hopped off the counter, taking a few uncertain steps toward him. He towered over me with his height, and the soup ladle was giving him an advantage over me, who seemed completely unarmed.
"It's just you and I, Jin-san. We don't need to escalate to violence. Just hand over the six million yen that you owe Charlotte and I'll forget this ever happened."

Hidaka Jin's eyes widened. His hands began to tremble slightly.
"What is this, some sick joke?!"
He dropped the soup ladle, which clattered to the floor as he held his face in his palms.
"Six million?! She said it was four million last month! Just how much interest is she planning on adding?! How much does she think a lonely ramen shop owner actually makes in a month?!"

"Jin-san, please just listen to me. You don't understand what I'm going to have to do if you don't give me six million."
I began to plead with him, but I wasn't getting through to him in his state of delirium.

"No, it's all your fault! People don't eat here anymore because they know I'm affiliated with Charlotte! It's because of you people that I can't make back the money I'm borrowing for renovations!"
He frantically grabbed a vegetable knife from the counter, waving it at me with brutal force.
"What is Charlotte even thinking?! Sending a girl the same age as my daughter to collect my debt?! Is this some kind of message?! You leave my family out of this, Bara-gumi!"

I leapt backward, landing softly against the countertop and pulling the tanto blade from my breast pocket.
"Jin-san! I'm not your enemy! Just give me what you have and I'm sure we can work this out-"

"Work this out?!"
Jin began to slash against the counter near my feet, causing me to leap back and land on one of the many tables in the dining area.
"You're here to kill me, aren't you?!

"No! I'm not going to kill you! Jin-san, why can't you just listen?!"
I shouted at him, gripping the tanto blade so tightly that my fingers went numb.
"I need that six million yen or I'm going to have to remove your finger!"

He froze. His unblinking eyes glared at me with a mix of disbelief and fear.
"You... say that like it's just an average Friday for you, little girl. Like a chef without a finger is a perfectly normal sight. You don't know anything about this world, do you?"

It was then that Jin revealed his right hand. He raised it up to my face, showing me only four fingers attached to it. His pinky finger had already been severed in the past, and now Charlotte was demanding that I sever the other one over money.

I could feel my pulse quicken at the sight of it. The pieces slowly connected. Hidaka Jin had asked Ninagawa Charlotte for a loan to renovate his shop, but the people of the red-light district learned that he was affiliated with the yakuza, which led to a decline in sales. Not only that, but when he didn't make enough money to pay back his loans, Charlotte had his finger severed, solidifying the rumor and driving away the last of his precious customers through physical evidence. This revelation was enough to make my stomach churn. The woman I was working for was truly detestable.

"What's taking so long, puppy?!"
A deep, gravelly voice called out from the doorframe. In unison, both Hidaka Jin and I turned to see Kazuya, standing there with one hand tucked in the waistband of his pants.

"Kazuya, wait! This man is suffering because of Charlotte! He doesn't have the money to-"
I was cut off by the familiar clicking sound of a pistol's hammer.

Kazuya stepped closer, pulling a Walther handgun out of his pants and resting it at his hip.
"That's too bad. Now hurry up and cut his finger off."

I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I stared in pure disbelief as Kazuya raised the barrel of his gun, not at Hidaka Jin, but at me. His finger hovered over the trigger, and his sights were dead-set on the space between my eyes.

To my surprise, Jin stepped forward, putting himself between the barrel of Kazuya's pistol and me, offering me his hand with a saddened smile on his lips.
"That's enough, Kazuya. She can have my finger."
He spoke with sorrow in his voice.

I desperately shook my head side to side, feeling tears begin to well up in the corners of my eyes.
"I can't! You don't deserve this!"

"It's okay. Next time it will be my ring finger, then my middle, index, and so forth. It was going to happen one way or another, kid. The only difference is that you were unfortunate enough to do it."
He willingly lined the edge of his left hand's pinky finger with my tanto blade, staring me dead in the eyes.

I can't do this! I'm going to throw up! Why is Kazuya being so mean?! Why doesn't Charlotte just give him more time?! Wait, wait, wait! This can't be happening! I would never do something like this!

I began to hyperventilate. I could barely hear my own sharp gasps through the ringing in my ears. My vision was tunneling as Jin stared unwaveringly into my eyes. Through my intense, erratic panting, I could read his lips saying,
"Do it!"
Over and over.

With a sickening crack, I brought the tanto blade down onto the floor, blood seeping around my hands like warm water. The ringing in my ears stopped, and in my hand was a cleanly severed pinky finger belonging to Hidaka Jin.

"Ah!"
I shrieked as I tossed it aside, watching Jin double over in pain as he applied pressure to his gushing wound.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
I screamed out as my hands trembled. I could see the pained expression on Jin's face, and a cold, unnerving smirk plastered on Kazuya's.

"Fuck! God damn it! Fuck you, Bara-gumi!"
Hidaka Jin screeched as he glared up at Kazuya.
"Leave children out of this! You could have easily done this yourself, you sick bastard!"

"What we do with our members doesn't concern you, Hidaka Jin. Little Mika here just proved herself to be a weak, pathetic little mutt that can't even perform a small task without my supervision."
Kazuya's smirk faltered, turning into a scowl of annoyance as he stared at me, still whispering apologies while I trembled on the floor.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
I didn't know who I was apologizing to anymore. Was it Jin, or Kazuya? Was I trying to make amends for harming an innocent ramen shop owner, or was I attempting to save myself from punishment by my current employer?

Kazuya put his pistol back into his waistband, wrapping Jin's finger in a small handkerchief and motioning for me to follow him.

I scrambled to my feet, nearly tripping over Hidaka Jin as I exited the shop, still weeping and apologizing long after leaving. Who I needed most right now was Harumi. I wanted nothing more than to see and talk to her. I knew that Harumi would help me get over my crisis; even if it was simply to justify my actions as necessary, I felt like she would know the right words to soothe my soul.

Naturally, given my luck, Kazuya didn't take me back to Harumi's apartment, but to an entirely new location I had never been to before: an office building in the heart of Arakawa-ku, surrounded by seemingly normal businesses potentially unaware that this structure was the official office of Ninagawa Charlotte, leader of the Bara-gumi.

I couldn't focus much on what was being said between Charlotte and Kazuya, but I do remember the look on Charlotte's face when Kazuya explained my episode of defiance moments before severing Jin's finger. She was undoubtedly pissed.

* * *

That night, I was placed back in the metal cage inside the warehouse, left completely alone in silence with nothing but the memory of Hidaka Jin's finger resting in my palms. Once again, I didn't sleep a wink.

"I'm sorry."