I'm Sorry, Can You Speak Japanese?

Bloody finger... Severed, bloody finger... Hidaka Jin... I'm sorry.

I chewed nervously on my thumbnail, watching the familiar sight of the sun peeking through the windows atop the warehouse's walls. It hadn't been more than two days, and I found myself back inside this disgusting cage, sulking like a dog, having not slept even a second.

Déjà vu struck even harder when Nobu made his grand appearance in the warehouse, practically bursting into laughter upon seeing me back here after such a short amount of time.

"Holy shit! The loser dog returns! What happened, kid? I thought the boss was holding your assessments yesterday."
Nobu annoyingly tapped his cigarette against the iron cage's door, smirking like a psychopath at the sight of me trembling.

"Shut up."
I whispered.

"What's that? Can't hear you, kid!"
Nobu retaliated with a cruel chuckle.

"I said, shut up!"
I grabbed the bars of the cage, my seething frustration with my own actions starting to take control of my tired mind. I glared at Nobu with pure resentment.

"I'm sorry, can you speak Japanese? I'm not sure I heard you correctly."
Nobu reached into the cage, grabbing the collar of my suit and yanking me headfirst into the cage's bars, my nose slamming into the rusted metal.
"I'll give you one more chance to address your Shateigashira properly!"

I let out a frightened squeak, my nose dripping blood all over my new suit. I let out an audible gulp and softened my temper.
"My assessment went south... I'm being punished for attempting to retaliate, Aniki."

Nobu smiled at me for referring to him as Aniki, big brother, and released my collar from his grasp.
"What did you do? I'm sure there's a good reason you're stuck here."

I pinched the bridge of my nose tightly, speaking softly into my cupped hand.
"I hesitated to perform yubitsume on a client. Kazuya insisted I was being soft and that my childish mind wasn't ready for such a... big task."

"Ah, classic Charlotte-sama. She's always trying to send a message with her yubitsume and her ridiculous flashy suits that she makes us wear."
Nobu offered me a cigarette, to which I shook my head.

"Are you here to let me out? I want to go apologize to Hidaka Jin as soon as possible."
I gestured toward the cage's door.

"Let you out? Sure, I'll let you out. But apologizing is a definite no."
Nobu fumbled with a pair of Charlotte's keys, unlocking the door and watching my every move as I stepped out.

"Why not? I took an innocent man's finger yesterday! He at least deserves an apology!"
I shouted at him, my eyes portraying visible confusion.

"Are you stupid, or something? What kind of yakuza apologizes? Listen here, loser dog,"
Nobu gave me a handkerchief.
"Imagine if someone asked you for money. You kindly gave them their requested amount, but the only rule was that they pay it back within a certain timeframe. Now, imagine if they suddenly stopped returning your cash, and your friends saw them over at the pachinko parlor instead, or at the car dealership laughing with a salesman as they drove off in a brand new Porsche."

I grimaced at the thought of it all, and nodded my head slowly.
"So, Hidaka Jin was using Charlotte's money to gamble?"

Nobu shrugged.
"It's just a hypothetical; I'm not talking about Hidaka Jin solely. We have so many clients seeking loans from us, and a vast majority who end up using those funds on simple pleasures. Hidaka Jin may have been an exception, but the same principle applies. Those who don't pay become living messages."
He casually pointed to his pinky finger.

"I think I get it. But don't you ever feel remorse? Taking someone's finger isn't just a casual message; it's completely inhumane!"
I finally made eye contact with him as I wiped the remnants of blood from my upper lip. What Nobu said next; I was certain it would stick with me for the rest of my life.

He said,
"You'll get used to it. Sometimes, it's even kind of fun."
With a smile curling around his lips.

I stayed completely silent until Kazuya picked me up later that day for round two of my assessment. I didn't dare ask Nobu any further questions about what my future holds, or what he considered right from wrong. Hell, I didn't even ask Kazuya what was in store for me. Though, when my time came, I wished I had known sooner.

* * *

To my surprise, Kazuya brought Charlotte to the warehouse. The two of them stepped out of the black sedan, Charlotte's face already showing signs of that same wicked scowl she had when I first met her. That Yasha yokai scowl.

I bowed my head low.
"I'm sorry about yesterday, boss."
I spoke in a loud voice.

Charlotte grabbed a fistful of my hair, yanking my face upward as her palm connected with my cheek. My head snapped to the side, and I could feel a stinging sensation traveling up my ear.

"Don't you dare apologize, mutt! You had one simple task, and you made a fool of yourself. Yubitsume should be done with complete resolve and dominance, not trembling apologies."
She spat in my face, her mucus smelling of tobacco and fish.

Tears spilled from my terrified eyes as I nodded.
"Yes, boss! It won't happen again!"
I shouted with quivering vocals.

"Next time you pull a stunt like that, I'll put Kazuya's cigar out on your forehead! Do you understand me, puppy?!"
Charlotte snapped back.

"Yes, boss!"
I yelled through my tears.

"Good girl. Now, I expect you to be on your best behavior with Harumi tonight. You'll be helping her with drug trafficking, since you clearly don't have the resolve for loansharking."
She hissed at me, stuffing her pipe bowl full of tobacco.

"Boss, that wasn't what we agreed upon."
Kazuya interrupted, anger evident on his face.

"Calm down, Kazuya. I'm still getting a feel for her skills, or lack thereof. Harumi will return her after tonight's cargo delivery."
She sneered as she motioned for me to sit inside the car.

Kazuya bowed his head.
"Boss, let me take her out one more time. I'm telling you, she only had a beginner's fluke. I see potential in her as a future loanshark."

Charlotte paused for a long minute. Kazuya kept his head perfectly lowered, not even thinking twice to raise himself. She finally nodded her head and spoke,
"Fine. Don't disappoint me, Kazuya."
She glanced down at me with a scoff.
"You aren't allowed to stay at Harumi's tonight. You'll have to find somewhere else to sleep."

I nodded my head, bowing just as low as Kazuya.
"Thank you, boss!"

Why should I have to thank her? I don't want to go back out with Kazuya, but if I try to argue, I fear the worst. Better to just play along, I suppose.

I sat in the backseat of Kazuya's car, keeping my arms crossed and my head down. To tell the truth, I was doing this to hide the fact that I was sneaking in a few minutes of sleep.

* * *

When we arrived at Charlotte's office, Kazuya demanded I move to the front seat after she departed, mostly to keep an eye on me, given my track record of defiance over the past few days. He mumbled something under his breath about how I was more troublesome than he was at my age and cranked the radio high enough to keep me awake.

"Kazuya...san?"
I looked up at him, slightly unsure of what to address him by.

"Just Kazuya is fine."
He responded, calmly.

"Kazuya... I promise I'll do better this time."
I purposely tilted my head into view, making sure he could see every inch of my face. I wanted him to see that I was more than just a helpless puppy; that I was someone he could trust to get a job done. My fear was simply a mistake, and something like apologizing for taking a finger wouldn't faze me anymore. Kazuya had personally pleaded that I accompany him instead of Harumi, and that had to have meant something. For now, I would trust in Kazuya and do my best to show him that he could trust me too.

Truth be told, the fear still lingered. I could feel my heart begging me not to take another step into this dark world that was looming ahead, but I forced my mind to block those emotions, hoping that maybe acting a bit more like Nobu would earn me enough street cred that I would be viewed as someone useful for Charlotte and Kazuya.

"I'll believe it when I see it. If you can handle the next client, I'll personally vouch for you to Charlotte. Deal?"
Kazuya did his best to hide a creeping grin, but I could see it under his tough facade. It made me incredibly happy.

"Deal. I won't let the Bara-gumi down,"
I said with utmost confidence.