The Values of Takamiya Kisaki

A good thirty minutes or so of our remedial session passed by already, and suffice to say it was NOT going smoothly.

The light of optimism and charm I had seen in Kisaki's eyes just moments before started to fade away- I could see her shaking her head and muttering to herself whilst looking over my work. While she was clearly trying to put on a pleasant face, the facade was breaking apart. I can’t exactly say I’m putting forward my absolute best per se, but I think I was at least making an honest attempt in trying to understand her explanations. It was clear as day to me, in any case, that there seems to be a fundamental difference between the way she teaches and the way I learn. I don’t think Kisaki really understood this.

“Hiiragi, I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here. I want to see you improve, but you aren’t showing any signs of understanding this material when I look at our supplementary work.”

“I just think you need to slow down, or something. I just think you aren’t really guiding me, instead just like, dumping it on me.”

“Fine, let’s try and go over this again.”

Kisaki showed a weak smile, once again trying to keep her composure.

~

Another half hour passed, and nothing about the situation really changed. That is, except for the fact that both of us were growing more visibly annoyed. Good faith wasn’t going to be enough to salvage this.

“Are you even listening to a word I say, Hiiragi? You haven’t made any progress with the work I explained to you even now! I swear, it’s like you aren’t even trying to work with me here-”

I narrowed my eyes in response to her accusation.

“I AM trying to listen to you, but you’re not articulating any of it! You’re just explaining end results and descriptions and expecting me to understand it inside and outside from that alone, instead of working through it WITH me! You’re the one that isn’t listening!”

The conversation went absolutely nowhere as it went on. Our ideals repeatedly clashed with each other until it devolved into us screaming at one another. She looked like she was just moments away from trying to strangle me. I had to hold in my anger myself as she slung insult after insult my way when I had simply tried to explain my problems with her instruction style. It became exceedingly hard not to actually attempt to slap her in order to shut her up, but I didn’t want to stoop down to the level of hitting a girl- even if she showed zero concern for me. I ended up turning the other way after enough time.

Right as I was about to get up and leave, however, I could hear someone opening the door to the classroom behind me. Kisaki looked at them with a sort of familiarity as if she was expecting them or something. I assumed she called some member of the faculty, and I didn’t have good expectations. I certainly had no intention of sticking around, but when I turned, the person who came into view surprised me. It was Kitazawa Mayu. Normally she wouldn’t be at school around now, so I was confused, and it showed in my voice.

“...Mayu? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see how everything is going... I heard screaming from the hall down, after all. Is everything alright?”

“But you don’t have after-school activities?”

“Oh, I was the one who asked Takimiya to tutor you, Yuuto. I decided to stick around and see how that would go!”

“Kitazawa, I know you requested my help regarding Hiiragi, but he’s beyond me. My efforts appear to be in vain, I think Hiiragi is a lost cause.”

Mayu brushed off Kisaki’s words and approached me, putting her hand on my shoulder as she put her bag on another desk. She looked me in the eyes with a serious expression. For whatever reason, I felt uneasy.

“Look Yuuto, I know this isn’t something you want to do, but please, give her a chance! I don’t want you to fail, and I also know Takamiya doesn’t have many friends- I hate seeing two of my closest friends arguing all the time... I would like it if you two could, y’know, try to get along.”

“As if!”

Both of us ended up shouting in unison. We completely ignored the fact that what we had said was the exact same thing, and Mayu giggled a bit before continuing to speak.

“Truth be told, I figured you two could work things out because you’ve both told me you find each other attractive.”

This is news to me. She thinks I’m cute? Her? Don’t pull my leg. Why would someone like her find a slob like me attractive?

“You’re joking, there’s no way she finds me appea-”

…Kisaki ended up finishing my thought before I could.

“Hiiragi? Come on now. Why exactly would I find this imbecile attractive? Who do you take me for?”

Kisaki openly denied Mayu’s claim. Kisaki was clearly red in the face and flustered, so I actually had my doubts about her refutation. Honestly, I don’t think Mayu would lie about something like this- not that anyone would lie right to both of our faces like this. I did want to see how far this went, so I ended up speaking up myself in an attempt to stir the pot a bit.

“I suppose I have expressed my positive opinions on Kisaki to you, Mayu. I could never deny that Takamiya is one of the prettiest, if not, THE prettiest girl in this entire school if you were to ask me. I’d even go as far to say everything about her appearance is completely stunning almost as if she was tailored specifically to catch my eye. Back when I was a first-year, seeing her made my heart skip a beat. ...But I’m not a first year anymore, and I realized only after knowing her for a few years that I can’t stand being in the same room as her. Now that I know what kind of person she is, even if she’s drop-dead gorgeous you wouldn’t see me with her out of my own free will. ”

I ended up going on a bold (or foolish) tangent about how I felt about Kisaki. Right in front of her.

Oh my god. What am I doing.

I shrunk back a bit in shame. I, uh, may have been a bit too forward in an attempt to mess with Kisaki, and spilled all my thoughts without thinking them all through. I knew my face was likely turning a shade of red as an uncomfortable silence set in. When I finally regained the courage to look straight at Kisaki, she was somehow more riled up by my statement than I was, before she realized I was looking and subsequently composed herself. I guess Mayu certainly wasn’t lying about her...

“Ahem! Ignoring the words of this deviant... You must have been hearing things, Kitazawa. What made you think he was someone I was interested in? I certainly don’t find him attractive- he isn’t fit to be my prince in the slightest with his lackadaisical behaviors, even if he may somewhat look the part.” She said the last part in a hushed voice for some reason, even though it was clear from her actions that she thought I was cute. Aww.

“...Prince? You mean like a fairy tale prince that will lead you by the hand and all that?” I motioned in a refined yet exaggerated manner in an attempt to mock that idea.

“Yes, that’s right. I’m not sure if you could understand the concept of pure romance and true love... I’ll bet you’ve read so much perverted material to the point where it’s rotting your brain and affecting how you expect girls to act. As I said, your corrupted and sick view of love-”

I can feel my eyes starting to glaze over. She’s clearly losing it.

“Okay, wait. You are making a LOT of assumptions here about me. I don’t really like that...”

Mayu went to where her desk was in the classroom and signaled to the both of us that she was going to sit there while we went at it, which made a momentary break in the tension filling the air between me and Kisaki. I found myself speaking once again to avoid an awkward moment of silence.

“You may think I’m some sick sexual deviant or something because I may have mentioned that I enjoy some risky content- but you couldn’t be more wrong. I’ll level with you- what I want is to experience young love that makes me reframe my life in a new light. I want to share memories with a special someone, to protect them, to hold them in my arms, to find out the meaning of love together with them... I’ve been dreaming of that for a long time, and now that I’m running out of time, I-”

I quickly stopped myself when I realized I started making a declaration AGAIN instead of a rebuttal. I realized I must have started something when I saw Mayu crack the cockiest grin I had ever seen out of the corner of my eye. It took me a moment to realize that she wasn’t looking at me, rather at Kisaki who was visibly conflicted from my statement about romance. Mayu stood up once again.

“Well, aren’t the two of you just the most hopeless romantics?”

I genuinely had no idea how to respond to any of this anymore. I wasn’t as flustered as Kisaki or anything, but I was pretty speechless for sure. I’m starting to realize why Mayu did all this. Mayu’s smug face did nothing but support my theory. She knew both of us were looking for this and probably thought this could magically work out like it does in anime. Unfortunately, this isn’t one. I understand what she was going for, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Kisaki is NOT girlfriend material for me. Her constant nagging would make me go insane, I’m sure.

Kisaki spoke up before I finished thinking to myself.

“...Mayu, did you do this in hopes of setting us up..?”

“I might be guilty of that…”

“Explain. Now.”

“I knew you would only give Yuuto the time of day if it pertained to academics. You’re always so energized and motivated when it comes to your work, so I figured maybe you could show that same attitude even for Yuuto if we recontextualized the way you two interact.”

I was about to respond to Mayu, but before I could even make a single sound, Kisaki lost her cool- which startled Mayu and I with how fast she started screaming.

“Are you kidding me, Kitazawa? YOU WANTED ME TO WASTE MY TIME TUTORING THIS BRICK WALL THINKING I WOULD SOFTEN UP AND LET HIM MAKE ME HIS TROPHY WIFE?”

The two of us stood there, wide eyed as Kisaki suddenly snapped and gave the both of us a death stare with tears in her eyes. God knows I didn’t have any of the words now to diffuse this. This one’s on Mayu.

“That’s not what I meant-”

“Nonsense. Kitazawa, I can’t believe you took advantage of my feelings to try and fulfill this brat’s sick fantasy. I really thought you were looking out for the greater good, but it seems you’re just as perverted as he is.”

I wanted to bash my head against a desk, but I was too exhausted to make a show of it. I didn’t have the energy to fight Kisaki’s allegations either, so I just waited for Mayu to speak.

“Takamiya, I do care about Yuuto’s grades! But even more so, I really, genuinely want to see the two of you at least become friends when I know you’re more similar than you both think! You’re both honest to a fault, hopeless romantics, and passionate about your work to name just a few things..! You can’t imagine how frustrating it is seein-”

“...I really don’t want to hear it.”

Kisaki couldn’t hold back her tears. I don’t really understand why Kisaki was so upset, personally. I could see that Mayu was just trying her best to improve several issues with one solution, even if she hid her intentions at first. I started to genuinely feel bad for Mayu, even if she did this behind my back.

“...Hey, Takamiya-”

She ignored me. Kisaki haphazardly grabbed up her stuff and ran out of the classroom, leaving me and Mayu here. Mayu exchanged defeated glances with me and I gestured towards the door, which was enough for me to convey my feelings about the situation. She said “Thanks” and “Sorry” as she went to follow Kisaki. I was alone in the classroom now.

Hearing the silence in the room now felt uncomfortable, when I considered the spirited voices filling the room just a moment earlier. I didn’t particularly know how to feel about all of this, but I could also see how Mayu saw some similarities shared between me and Kisaki. Briefly, I imagined what it would be like to date Kisaki.

“She is attractive, driven, and romantic. Maybe-”

It didn’t take long for me to remember her constant vitriol aimed at me. I shook my head as if I were trying to shake off those thoughts. I should just go home. I finally picked up my belongings and cleared my head as I nonchalantly walked off of the scene where everything had unfolded prior.

I was greeted by the spring air once more as I made my way home after that long day.