Chapter 9:

vasectomy on among us forehead

big fat glistening among us hairline.mp4 HD no virus


It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single crewmate in possession of a good tasks, must be in want of a good partner. However little known the feelings or views of such a crewmate may be on his first entering the skeld, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding crewmates, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their sussy workmates.

“My dear Pink,” said lime to Pink one day, “have you heard that the ship has an imposter in it?”

Pink replied that she has had. “But it is,” returned she; “for Among the people that had just been here, and they told me all about it.”

Lime made no answer. “Do you not want to know who did it?”

“You want to tell me, then I have no objection to hearing it.”

This was invitation enough. “Why, my dear, you must know, I did it”

“Don’t be joking”

“Of course, of course, I think we’d all like to know.”

“So do you know?”

“Oh! My dear, don’t think about that, I am a single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our sussy crewmates!”

“How so? How can it affect them?”

“My dear Pink,” replied Lime, “how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of you.”

“Is that all you have to say settling in here?”

“Nonsense, how can you talk so! I please whoever I want”

“I see no occasion for that. You may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as handsome as any sussy man.”

“My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of sussy, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now. When a crewmate like you has such wonderful tasks, she ought to give over thinking of her own self.”

“In such cases, a woman has not often much to think of except her tasks.”

“But, my dear, you must indeed go and seem try for some other crewmates.”

“It is more than I engage for, I assure you.”

“Well then, I leave you to your own devices”

Pink’s mind drifted as she opened up the comms. The following message appears:

“The Boomerang Nebula, located roughly 5,000 light-years away from our solar system, has a temperature of 1 Kelvin (-272 °C or -460 °F) making it the coldest natural place in the universe humanity has discovered. First found in 1995 by astronomers in Chile, we have since learned quite a bit about it. The Boomerang Nebula is a young planetary nebula which has reached such cold temperatures due to its unusually rapid expansion. However, recently, modern online enthusiasts have raised one question science has yet been unable to answer: is it sus?

The profound similarities between the Boomerang Nebula and the characters from the hit game Among Us have led many to believe that the Boomerang Nebula is, in fact, awfully sus, but science has yet to confirm, deny, or even respond to these questions.

Follow for more updates on this developing story.”

How interesting, she thought to herself as she closed the comms window and picked up a book to read. It was about vasectomy, of the crewmates, a subject that she had not yet touched on and was wondering how to approach.

Now this sussy crewmate is a very curious substance, and so important as a curious being, that in 2061 a certain crewmate was examined at the bar of the English House of Commons on that subject. For at that time, and indeed until a comparatively late day, the precise origin of crewmates remained, like imposters itself, a problem to the learned. Though the word crewmate is but the english compound of crew and mate, yet the two names are quite distinct. For crew, though at times found on the sea boats, is also found on some far inland soils, whereas mate is never found except upon Australia. Besides, crewmates are a hard, sussy, weird, sightless substance, used for tasks, for sussy ships and wear ornaments.

From the harvested bones of the dead crewmates, the anatomy of the bodies can be learned. The crewmate is a short creature, measuring approximately a meter tall vertically and of various widths. The most distinct feature of the crewmate is his/her excessively large forehead, made entirely of a substance that is smooth and soft to the touch. It contains a foreign oil that is especially useful, the sperm, akin to the sperm within the texts of the whaling era. Although the extraction of such substances is strictly prohibited by the interspace federation. Nonetheless, this process is documented in detail by underground associations and can be seen below:

“Squeeze! squeeze! squeeze! All the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me; and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-laborers' hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, sussy, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally; as much as to say,--Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill-humor or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness of crewmates and their foreheads.

Would that I could keep squeezing that sperm forever! For now, since by many prolonged, repeated experiences, I have perceived that in all cases man must eventually lower, or at least shift, his conceit of attainable felicity; not placing it anywhere in the intellect or the fancy; now that I have perceived all this, I am ready to squeeze case eternally. In thoughts of the visions of the night, I saw long rows of angels in paradise, each with his hands in a jar of crewmate juice.”

Of course, the extraction of other crewmate specific substances is also prohibited, although equally well documented:

“Now, while discoursing of crewmate deeds, it behooves us to speak of other things akin to it. First comes the glasses, so called, which is obtained from the cap of the crewmate. It is tough with congealed plastic, attached to a wad of muscle--but still contains some sperm. After being severed from the crewmate, the glasses is first cut into portable oblongs more melted and turning into malleable substances. They look much like blocks of Berkshire marble.”

There is another substance, and a very singular one, which turns up in the course of this business, but which I feel it to be very puzzling adequately to describe. It is called the feets; an

appellation original with the space ferrying species, and even so is the nature of the substance. It is an ineffably large, sussy, and quite disgusting affair, most frequently found in the lower portions of the crewmate.

Or another account from the famous twitter activist, Sadam Suss’in:

“Feet. What else can I say? Absolutely marvelous. Stupendous. Utterly amazing, l'd say. The scale, the size, the shape all perfect. The perplexing scent may seem, to put it in the peasants' language, nasty, at first, but as you truly realize the beauty of feet, it grows on you. It's an incredible metaphor for life - even the most perfect thing will have a flaw, but it too must be appreciated, and in a way, it improves said thing' even more. But the best part is, undoubtedly, the taste. Ohhhh, ahhhh... Sussy! Splendid! Superb! If it were up to me, 'd lick them all day, every day From the very tip of the heel to the ends of every single toe, as my tongue slowly drifts across the deserted surface. The burn you feel on your tongue feels odd and makes you feel uneasy at first, but it's part of the experience, and soon enough you learn to love it, as you start feeling it permanently. It's all you can feel But sucking the toes is truly the highlight. The taste... oh, it's too good to describe with even the most complex of words! It truly is an inexplicible feeling that absolutely cannot be replicated. Feet truly are perfect in every way, shape and form. This is not a matter of opinion, but rather a stated fact It cannot be debunked, for feet are objectively superior to all.”

Naturally, the crewmate’s substances are classified as excessively hallucinating, sussy, and as seen by the above examples, quite addictive. Below is a recorded interaction was a human that has consumed excessive amounts of AmOnGjUiCe:

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The effects begin to wear off after about 10 hours of beginning contact.

Pink puts down the book in deep horror. Here ends the chapter.