Confessions

I sat at my desk, waiting for Aki to wake up in the lounge. Miko had gone to check on her. However, I was still stuck, unable to shake that final image from my head.

She was smiling.

Aki was smiling.

It happened in the exact moment when Miko walked up to her, but before she shot her in the face. The corner of Aki's lips curved into a grin, but it held none of her usual charm or polite radiance. It was cold, calculating. The smile of a predator in no rush to begin the hunt.

Was that the other side of her that she was afraid of? The one she was worried might take control of her body? What was that thing anyway?

My stream of thoughts was cut short as Miko stepped out of the lounge, still dressed in her maid uniform. I couldn't believe she hadn't taken that thing off. Wasn't she done cleaning?

She silently walked over to her workshop table and sat down. She spent a few seconds just tinkering with a screwdriver, not doing anything else. I should have said something, but I couldn't muster the words.

"You know, boss. I'm sorry I disobeyed direct orders."

".!"

I wasn't expecting her to apologize.

She was still playing with a screwdriver on her desk, looking away from me as she spoke. She was refusing to make eye contact.

"But this thing with Aki..." She briefly stopped talking, her words catching in her throat. "Look, boss. I just gotta do what I gotta do, when I gotta do it," she said. "Doesn't mean I enjoy it, or find pleasure in doing it. I don't like being the executioner whose job it is to put down her friend whenever she starts to go rogue." Finally, she swiveled on her chair to stare at me. "So, after you learn the truth about Aki's condition, and you think there's an easier way to do what I do, please, boss. Help her. Help my best friend."

"..."

I was stunned. Silent. I wasn't sure what to say.

"Do you know why I gladly took my punishment, boss? Do you know why I'm still proudly wearing this godforsaken piece of clothing right now, even though every cell in my body is itching to tear it into a million pieces?"

I shook my head in response. I didn't know what she was getting at.

"It's because you chose to keep us around, boss," she said. "We were in the hall that day, Aki and I, waiting to be selected by one of the many graduating captains. But whoever read our files, or whoever Aki told her secret to, ended up walking away. They didn't want to get stuck with the worst team on the roster: a top shooter with no sense of collateral, and a first officer with a hidden berserker mode that could go off at any minute. They didn't want to get stuck with us."

Miko jumped off her seat and began briskly walking towards me. When she was finally standing in front of my desk, she continued talking.

"We know your punishment for coming in late that day was being burdened with us, the team no other captain candidate wanted. And after going on our first mission together and seeing what a disaster we are, or might potentially be, you didn't try to get us fired or pulled back from the core. Instead, you chose to keep us around."

Miko suddenly bent forward, causing me to jump back in my seat from shock, before realizing she was just performing a bow.

"Thank you, Captain," she said, her voice intense. It was the first time I was hearing her call me captain, and not boss like usual.

"Thank you for choosing to believe in us when nobody else did. You have earned our complete dedication and loyalty. Thank you, boss. Really, thank you."

".!"

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. I didn't deserve her gratitude. None of it. Not a single one.

I wasn't the clean, innocent person she thought I was. A few days after our first mission together, the Sakura-Sweets incident, where Miko had caused so much damage, I had stormed right off to HQ and made a spur-of-the-moment decision, one that I was starting to wish I had given more thought to. Safe to say, if the girls found out about it now, they wouldn't be quick to think I was such a nice person.

Hopefully, there was still enough time to fix my mistake.

***

Aki didn't wake up until a few hours later. Even then, I didn't get to speak with her right away. She spent most of the time hanging out by Miko's workshop, chatting with the shorter girl who was still wearing her maid uniform, even though her punishment ended hours ago. Maybe it was starting to grow on her.

I was busy on my computer when Aki finally approached me.

"Captain?"

I instantly closed out of the browser window I had opened, not wanting anyone, Miko or her, to catch a glimpse of what I had been doing.

"A-Aki," I said as I rushed to compose myself by straightening my jacket. "Looks like you are feeling a lot better."

"Yes, Captain," she said, lowering her head in a bow. "I apologize for ze earlier stress, and putting you through all zat."

"Hey, it's okay," I said to her. "I should be the one apologizing. If I had known the unique conditions that triggered your berserker mode... I mean, that caused the other side of you to emerge, I would have suggested we put on some sparring gear before training. Which frankly is a safety precaution we should have taken from the start."

Aki nodded, then gave a weak smile. She wasn't immediately going back to joining Miko at her workshop just yet. She was still waiting around in front of my desk, waiting for me to ask the question she knew was on my mind.

"Aki?" I called softly, reaching up to remove my sunglasses. "Do you think you're ready to tell me about this other part of you?" I remembered the moment she had promised to tell me everything shortly before Miko had shot her with her ice blaster. However, if she still wasn't ready to share anything, then I wouldn't force her.

"Yes, Captain."

To my surprise, Aki grabbed a chair and sat across from me. Her fists were clenched in her lap, knuckles white, as if holding back a tremor. A sadness had settled in her violet eyes, dimming their usual light. This was obviously something she didn't like to talk about, but she was going to proceed with it anyway. Because she had promised.

"It is called ze Vunigango, or ze ugly one," she began. "It is a spirit, a zemon, from my German side. Just like I inherited my affinity for fire magic from my faza, ze Vunigango is a curse passed down through my moza's bloodline."

I had my ears glued to every word. So this thing was part of her family's heritage. That was interesting. It also meant any potential solutions to get rid of it were practically worthless. It was a permanent part of her, not an alien entity.

"It is always hungry," she continued. "For battle, for vohr, for..."

Aki suddenly went quiet, her eyes glazing over with worry and fear. Somehow, I already knew what the last missing piece of her sentence was. I had already experienced the moment with her from earlier. I didn't want to interrupt her, but she had primed me to fill in the answer, since she was refusing to say it herself.

Maybe she was worried that just by saying it, she might possibly manifest the spirit to appear.

"Blood, right?" I asked, my voice low and respectful. "This thing, it's always hungry for battle, war, and blood."

Aki nodded.

"And that's why you're scared of it taking over your body."

Aki nodded again.

"Because with your abilities, there's no telling the amount of destruction the demon will cause once it's set free."

Aki nodded once more.

I sat back in my chair as I let out a sigh. I was quiet for a moment. Thinking.

"Forgive me, Captain, but I zid not tell you any of zis because I had it all under control. For seven years ze zemon has been lying zormant, due to a ritual zat vos performed on me ven I vos a child. But ven, Voluntina had us in her trap last veek, and v vere going to explode if I zidn't zu anything, so I recited ze spell zat allowed me to briefly borrow its powers so ve could escape, and now it's free again, and..."

"Hey, whoa whoa whoa." I stood up from my seat in an instant. "Take it easy, okay. Breathe. Alright. Just breathe."

She looked like she was about to hyperventilate as she went on a tangent, her breaths coming in short, sharp gasps. I didn't want that to happen.

Plus, my pulse quickened when I saw tiny sparks and floating embers beginning to warp the air around her. I most certainly didn't want her to accidentally trigger the demon to appear again.

"Just relax, okay?" I said to her.

Aki did as I recommended. She took in a deep breath, exhaled, and visibly settled in her seat.

"I recognize the sacrifice you performed to free us from Voluntina's spider trap. If it wasn't for what you did, I wouldn't have been able to activate my protection magic, and none of us would be here today. So thank you."

"I'm sorry I hid zis part of myself from you, Captain," she said. "I was just worried if you found out, zen you wouldn't want me to be part of your team."

"You're not wrong."

"I'm not, Captain?" Aki flashed a nervous smile, sweat threatening to drip down her forehead. "So, does zat mean you are going to let me go zen? Relieve me of my zuties?"

"I kind of already did," I confessed.

"Huh?! You zid?!" Aki jumped out of her seat in shock. "Vos it because of ze spirit inside me? It vos, vosn't it?"

"Sorry... No... Please calm down. It is, but it's also not what you think."

I sat back down in my chair and reopened the browser window on my computer, which I had hastily minimized when she arrived. I twisted the computer's monitor so she could see.

"Hey Miko, come check this out," I called out to my other agent. Both of them needed to see this. I wasn't planning on hiding it anymore.

The shorter girl, still in her maid uniform, set her tools down on the table and walked over to join us. They both began reading what was on screen.

"It's an application letter for transfer," I told them, feeling the need to verbally explain myself rather than allowing them to just read. "I had written the letter and filled out the forms about a week ago, shortly after our first mission together. I was trying to get you both transferred to another unit."

A little piece of my heart broke apart as I said the words. Despite the unpleasant nature of the news, I didn't want to hide it. I needed them to know the truth. I had tried to get rid of them. Any thought that I was some kind of nice guy was a lie.

They went silent, looking at me with a mixture of shock and disappointment, no doubt mentally struggling to process everything I was saying.

"I am a selfish jerk," I said to them. "If I had arrived just a little bit early that day, I most likely would have skipped over you just like all of the other captain candidates. Because to me, the two of you would have been too much of a hassle to manage."

I couldn't look them directly in the eyes anymore. I lowered my gaze to stare at my desk as I continued talking.

"So don't you dare think I am some kind of paragon of goodness. I am just as selfish as the rest of them."

I wasn't sure how much time passed after that as we all sat in silence. Whether or not they hated me after this didn't really matter anymore. I was sure they were going to pack up their things and leave anyway. I could have continued keeping it a secret from them, canceling the application without them ever finding out. But the guilt would have continued eating away at me internally. I didn't want that on my conscience.

"Well, yes or no?"

"What?"

I looked up at the girls in confusion.

"Ze application letter," Aki said. "It looks like you are in ze middle of terminating your request for new agents."

"Yeah, boss," Miko continued. "It's asking if you want to proceed with the request. You choose yes, meaning you get your new agents, and we get decommissioned. Or delete it, meaning you get stuck with us. For good."

Both girls stared back at me with resigned anticipation. It was my call to make. It was a no-brainer. I had to fix my mistake.

"Select delete to terminate the request," I told Aki. "I don't want to proceed with the transfer application. I want to leave things as they currently are, so please go ahead and choose the delete option."

Aki let out a breath I didn't even know she was holding. She looked relieved at my choice. That was good. I didn't want them to leave either. At least, not anymore.

I never should have tried to get rid of them in the first place, not without understanding who they truly were underneath the surface, underneath the chaos.

Aki reached for the mouse to help input my reply. But Miko stopped her.

"No. Wait."

".!"

The brown-haired girl had stretched out and placed her hand on top of Aki's, stopping the blonde girl from declining the transfer request. But why? Wasn't this what she wanted? I was trying to keep them on my team. I didn't want them to get decommissioned, as she had put it.

What followed was the longest stare I had ever gotten from Miko. It was intense. She didn't say anything for like a minute; she just kept staring at me. But when she finally spoke her mind, I listened carefully, and afterwards, I was in agreement.

***

I arrived at home around 9:00 p.m. As usual, my mother was at the door to greet me with a tray of dinner.

"Welcome home, Daisuke dear. How was work today? I made your favorites. Okonomiyaki, udon, with a side of sushi."

"Ma, you really don't have to meet me at the door like this every night." I dropped my backpack by the front door, then accepted the tray of food from her. "But everything smells amazing. Thank you."

"Nonsense," my mother replied with a hand on her waist, shaking her head in disagreement while waggling a no-no finger at me. "Every hard-working man deserves to be greeted with good food served by a woman when they get back from work. Either by his mother, sister, or spouse. I asked your little sister to do it, but she was adamant she wouldn't."

Sashi, who was already eating her dinner at the table, spun around with a glare.

"I'd rather die."

"Sashi!" my mother scolded.

"What, Mom? Do I look like I wanna be part of his harem? Not like he even has a single girl interested in him to begin with."

"No, it's okay, mother," I responded with a warm smile. "Thank you for the food, and all the hard work that goes into it."

"Hm," she replied with a smile of her own and a nod. "And I know you might start thinking of finding a place of your own with the new job and all, but you better not, mister, alright? Let me continue to take care of you a little longer."

"He's almost 19," Sashi piped up. "It's high time he does get out of the house."

"Well, if I leave, then my police cruiser is coming with me," I shot back at Sashi as I went to take a seat at the table beside her. "No more free rides to school. You'd have to start taking the train again."

"You don't drive me, Aki drives me."

"And just who do you think lets her do that?" I snapped back.

".!"

Sashi suddenly froze up with the realization.

"I'm the boss, idiot," I teased. "So I could take your privileges just like that." I made a point of snapping my fingers. "So you better start being nicer to me."

Sashi scowled, then swallowed her pride. It was a rare occurrence, but a welcome one.

"Then I guess you can stay a little longer if you want or whatever," she huffed.

"You looked a bit grouchy while saying that, which makes me think you don't really mean it. So I guess the best I can do for you now is to tell you I will think about it."

I wanted to appear smug, but Mom's cooking was just too delicious. I couldn't keep my jaw straight from all the delicious, flavorful chewing.

"What did you say, big bro? I couldn't quite hear you over the sound of my new skill. Why don't you say it again to me, face to face?"

I turned to see what my sister was talking about, and nearly jumped out of my seat in horror. Sashi, my short-tempered, very antagonistic sister who likes to soak me with her water magic, now held a balled-up flaming fist in the air.

".!"

Where had she learned that from?

"H-hey now, who taught you that? I thought the school you went to only focused on your affinities." I had one leg out from underneath the table, ready to book it at any moment.

"Yeah, but when your personal driver for the past week has been a level-six fire master, you inevitably get to pick up a few things," Sashi replied, her lips curved up in a sadistic grin.

So this was Aki's doing.

"So, big bro, what did you say about my car privileges again? Unless you want your precious jacket chock full of burnt holes, I suggest you be nicer to me."

Damn, she was going straight for the throat and threatening my pride and joy. I couldn't let anything happen to this sweet jacket of mine.

"Fine, you can keep it. Aki can keep driving you to school every morning."

"Thank you, big bro. Now was that so hard?" Sashi blew the flames away from her hands, then went back to eating. "Plus, I see Aki as kinda my big sister now. So if you try to stop me from hanging out with her, I might just burn you alive, then drown your corpse."

".!"

After dinner, I finished up what remaining paperwork I had left for the day, then showered, changed clothes, and climbed into bed. However, I couldn't fall asleep. I was staring up at the ceiling. What Miko had said back at the station was still floating around inside my head.

"Don't make a choice now, Captain. Not now, not while you're still feeling guilty," she said. "Make the choice only after you've spent some time with us. After you've genuinely seen our value, and no longer see us as a liability. Don't take pity on us, boss. We want to be a part of your team. So let us earn it. Over the next six months, let us prove that to you. Then you can make your choice."

At the end of the day, she hadn't allowed me to decline my transfer application. I just kept it on hold per her request. We were still together as a team for now. And based on our ratio of successful to unsuccessful missions for the next six months, that will be the determinant of whether we continue as a unit or not.

Honestly, I hope the outcome is positive, and we quickly learn to work together as a professional squad. Because now that I have gotten to know them a little more, I really don't want to lose them.