Wishful Warrior Whiplash

I barely had time to react. Dodging to the side, I brought the sword down on its head, but it bounced off the monster’s exoskeleton.

Wait, waitwaitwait, my mind screamed. This is really dangerous. I could die. What kind of school kills off failed examinees, and do I really want to go there? I need to forfeit.

But before I could even call out for help, the ant turned and reared up to bite at my throat. In a panic, I swung the sword to shield myself, and once again it bounced off the ant, but this time, we both stumbled backward, as if pushed by an explosive force.

Right as I regained my footing, I saw it. Time seemed to stop, and I saw a bright line in the air. Somehow, I knew that if I traced that line with the sword, it would lead me to victory. Then, just as suddenly, time resumed and the ant charged me once more. Tracing the path, I shoved the sword into its mouth, skewering its core. It disappeared with a satisfying popping sound, turning into a puff of black smoke.

Did I just defeat a monster? Me? Just a few months ago, I didn’t believe I would ever be able to do something like that. This calls for--No, that can wait. I’ve still got the rest of the test to pass. Deep breath, Seishin. Go time.

Next up, I faced another wall, this time with three doors. They looked exactly like they were from one of those outdoor obstacle course game shows, complete with a ramp up to the doors. Presumably, only one of the doors was real. Was this another test of luck? I’d have to choose one and hope for the best. Just as I was about to approach the middle door, a small gust of wind kicked up, and I saw the left door rattle slightly. Talk about luck.

Behind the door, rather than a ramp back down to the ground, there was an abrupt dropoff and a wooden platform held up by scaffolding a couple meters away.

Do they want me to jump? They just told me to run a lap. I might lose some time, but surely, it would be OK to drop down and climb up on the other side. That’s what the old me would have done--the me I was when I started this lap. I could injure myself if I miss the jump, but compared to the ant, this is nothing.

Coiling my legs, I sprang forward, easily clearing the gap. Dropping down would have been pointless. I’m glad I learned that. Hold on, is this not just a test, but a lesson as well? Do they want to see how well I learn and grow from adversity?

After the gap, there was a gentle ramp back down to the track and I headed into the final turn, where I came face-to-face with my old nemesis: a purple slime. But this time, I don’t have to be scared. If I just stab its core, then it’ll vanish.

But as I raised the sword, it suddenly felt heavy, as if I were pushing it through molasses, and when I tried to thrust it at the slime, it wouldn’t budge. Had I chosen a cursed weapon after all? The slime didn’t give me much time to worry about that. It jumped at me, and the sword pulled itself away. With nothing else I could use to defend myself, I swatted at it with my free hand.

I pulled my hand back as soon as I realized how stupid that had been. If the acid ate through the leather, it could get on my hands. But the gloves were completely undamaged. Cursed weapon but blessed gloves? Or maybe the leather resists slime acid?

The item bag was made of the same material. Before the slime could attack again, I opened the bag and prepared to catch it. The potion flask tumbled out onto the ground, but luckily, didn’t break. When the slime jumped, I scooped it out of the air with the bag, pulled it closed, threw it on the ground, and stepped on it. After a few hard stomps, I heard a pop and a whiff of black smoke escaped from the bag.

With the slime gone, there was nothing left between me and the finish line, or so I thought. The air shimmered ahead of me and a giant rat zombie plopped onto the track. I didn’t need to think too hard about this one. Everyone knows undead creatures are weak to healing potions. That’s been a plot point in so many TV dramas that it’s a joke at this point. Sure enough, dousing the rat with the potion caused it to burst into white flames, and I crossed the finish line shortly after.

“Well coach? How’d I do?” Since she had implied that I wouldn’t make it, I couldn’t help but rub it in her face a little.

“Don’t get cocky. That fight against the giant ant was messy, and if you used an item bag like that in a real race, you’d be disqualified.”

I could feel the blood drain from my face. After all that, she still hadn’t changed her opinion of me? Had I failed?

Thankfully, Ms. Orithiel came to my rescue. “But this wasn’t a real race, and that giant ant was supposed to be a less dangerous monster. What happened, Ms. Gouka?”

“Don’t blame me.” The coach snorted. “The summoning device was set to call a floating eye, but that ant came out instead.”

“Well, the device is still experimental. I guess there are still some bugs in the system.” After nobody laughed at the principal’s joke, she cleared her throat. “Ahem. Mr. Yamaguchi finished the test much faster than average. I trust you have no objections to him joining the team?”

“He only did so well because he had your sword. He doesn’t have what it takes on his own.”

“Perhaps not, but I can see he has potential. At any rate, I decided to accept Mr. Yamaguchi when I saw that Soltharis allowed him to wield her. She’s very picky about that, you know. It’s up to you whether you want him on the team.”

The sword is picky? Don’t tell me I’ve been carrying around an intelligent weapon this whole time. Guess that explains why it didn’t want to stab the slime. But hold on, aren’t they famous for killing people they deem unworthy?

“Guess beggars can’t be choosers.” The coach locked eyes with me. “Don’t make me regret this, Yamaguchi.”

“Wonderful!” Ms. Orithiel clapped her hands together. “Welcome to Blade and Shield Academy.”

⁂

Months passed in the blink of an eye. I spent many an hour fantasizing about my future. Clad in gleaming armor, wrestling with owlbears, vanquishing skeletons, and working with my party to whittle down a dire mammoth. Graduating from high school and becoming a professional adventurer, finding fortune and camaraderie clearing out dungeons.

Middle school graduation came and went, I received a uniform that looked just like Tetsukiba’s, and shortly after, the day of the entrance ceremony was upon me. Of course, I hadn’t slacked on my training in the meantime, so I was in the best shape of my life.

The same couldn’t be said for my new classmates. As I neared the campus, I noticed something strange about the students headed in the same direction: They all had long, sharp ears. Now, I don’t want to come off as prejudiced. I know elves can be warriors, but these students didn’t have a single muscle between them.

I was starting to worry I was going the wrong direction when I passed through the school gates and nearly bumped into a tall guy with broad shoulders.

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness.” Blade and Shield must be some kind of combined school with an adventuring track and a general education track.

“Can I help you?” the guy asked.

I looked up at him and was met by sharp eyes framed by square glasses and an equally square jaw. I knew that face. It took me a minute to remember, but when I did, I couldn’t help but blurt it out, “Chuuni Student Council President?!”

“Excuse me? Who are you calling a student council president?”

“Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean any disrespect.” Hold on. He didn’t care that I called him chuuni? Maybe I could sweet-talk my way out of this. “It’s just that you look the part.”

The corners of his mouth tugged upward. “I’ve always thought so myself. It’s a shame the unrefined masses can’t see my potential.”

Safe. Except for the fact that we were wearing the same uniform. I had a sinking feeling I wasn’t going to like the answer, but I had to ask, “Aren’t you a mage? What are you doing at a warrior school?

“What are you talking about? This is Blade and Shield Academy of Magic.”